Disclaimer: I don't own HP twilight of anything else mentioned, except the plot.

A/N: the beginning just shows the notes, then Snape gets a hold of them….

…

Hermione's and Draco's notes

Prologue

Granger, are you asleep yet?

Bug of Malfoy!

Only if you go on a date with me, Mudblood.

I would have if you didn't call me a 'Mudblood'. Sarcasm intended.

Only if you go on a date with me.

Really, are you crazy?

No.

Yes.

No.

Well then you're just mentally retarded.

Take that back Granger.

Will not.

Or else…

Yeah, I'm so afraid.

You better be.

What are you going to do? Send 'Crap' and goyle after me.

No…I'll do soothing worse. ('Crap' nice one…for someone like you.)

For someone like me?

Mhhh….Somebody going to get hurt real bad and I think you know them really well.

Give it your best shot, Malfoy.

Really Granger, here in front of everyone?

That's the whole point. If you really do hurt me, EVERYONE will see…..you're get expelled.

What?

I'll kiss you….

Say what Malfoy?

You're going to be scarred for life.

No…you will.

Said who?

You!

What if I liked it?

What!

I'm going to kiss you here, right now.

Not if I can help it!

I'll give you a second choice!

What now Malfoy?

You kiss me back.

Are you that despite?

Plain & simply Granger, I kiss you, you kiss me back. Problem solved.

Here?

Why not?

I am not!

After dinner?

No.

I'll French kiss you.

No way.

I promise you're like it.

Will not.

Will too!

NOT!

Will.

NOT!

Goodwill…

What!

The second hand muggle shop…Aren't you're parents muggle's? You should know.

I don't shop at goodwill.

Whatever, Kiss me already.

Well…No more name calling Harry and Ron included.

One condition….

What?

A kiss a day!

NO!

Come on, no teasing and you kiss me once a day. Problem solved.

No way.

I'll settle for just one kiss then.

Not any more you don't.

Want me to just grab you right here and snog you?

….No…way….you….bastard.

Then I will!

No!

Yes.

NO!

I'm just going to come to you when you're at the library and snog you. Deal?

Fuck you malfoy.

That can be arranged.

Pervert.

Bookworm

Slytherin beast.

I'm a best now? My feelings are hurt Granger.

…..

Now back to our topic.

Let's listen to the teacher.

So classic

Whatever

One kiss….

No.

Snog?

Same thing malfoy.

Hmp.

Go snog Parkinson.

No way.

Don't you do that every day anyways, right before dinner?

Where did you hear that?

Girl's bathroom…

Rumors

Like everyone believes that.

I'm going to kiss you….

Once again no!

In 5…

What?

4.

….

3

Malfoy.

2

SNAPE!

1

…

'What are you doing?' Snape asked.

'Nothing,' we both exclaimed.

'Passing notes I see!' Snape said reaching for the paper as Malfoy mouthed at me 'eat it!' as I mouthed back 'led poisoning.'

'We aren't professor,' I replied sweetly.

'Well then may I look at them?'

'Umm, of course professor,' I said giving him my study notes.

'Give me the real paper of detention for a month, both of you,' He said as Malfoy gave him his study notes. '10 points of Gryffindor and Slytherin!'

'What?' We gasped as he snatched the paper out of my hand.

'I think the best idea is to read these notes out loud, for a punishment!'

'NO! I'll have detention for a month-'

'Two!' Malfoy exclaimed as he grabbed Snaps leg and got pulled away.

'As tempting as that sounds no, and let go of me Mr. Malfoy,' Snape replied as he cleared his throat and started reading. 'Granger are you asleep yet? Bug of Malfoy!" He read.

'I knew you weren't flirting with him.' Ron exclaimed as the Gryffindor's agreed.

Snape started again. 'Only if you go on a date with me, Mudblood.' He read in discust as many slythein's muttered in agreement.' I would have if you didn't call me a 'Mudblood'. Sarcasm intended. Only if you go on a date with me-'

'Bastard!' I heard somone scream as many people agreed.

'Really? Are you crazy?' Snape read.' Yes. Yes. No. Well then you're just mentally retarded.'

'You go Hermione!' Harry screamed.

'Take that back Granger,' He read once more. 'Will not!-'

'Suborn mudblood!' I heard Slytherin's mutter.

' Or else…Yeah, I'm so afraid. You better be.-'

'Threats!' A Gryffindor screamed. 'Send him to Azkaban!'

'Settle down children!' Snape exclaimed as he read again. 'What are you going to do? Send 'Crap' and goyle after me.No…I'll do soothing worse. ('Crap' nice one…for someone like you.).' Snape read as the class turned their heads to look at Crabbe and Goyle eating cake. 'For someone like me? Mhhh….Somebody going to get hurt real bad and I think you know them really well. Give it your best shot, Malfoy-'

'Ohhhh!' voices boomed.

'Really Granger, here in front of everyone?' Snape read.' That's the whole point. If you really do hurt me, EVERYONE will see…..you're get expelled.What? I'll kiss you….-'

'BLOODY HELLL!' Ron screamed as everyone went crazy like someone won American idol.

'This is crazy!'

'Whoa!'

'POPCORN FOR SALE!' Someone screamed.

'Read more!' Someone screamed as Snape began again.

'Say what Malfoy? You're going to be scarred for life-'

'Hell yeah!'

'-No…you will.'

'Well said Granger!' Someone screamed.

'Said who? You! What if I liked it?-'

'BASTERD!'

'HOLY COW!'

'Who says "Holy cow" These days?'

'There look cute together-'

'DISOWN MALFOY!'

'Draco-poo'

'WHAT THE HELL DOES GRANGER SAY?' someone screamed.

'Listen!' Snape ordered as he started again.' What? I'm going to kiss you here, right now-'

'TORCHER!'

'MERLIN!'

'In the holy name of Voldemort-'

'2012-'Someone screamed as they chewed popcorn…We all looked at them as everything suddenly stopped.

'That movie was the beast!'

Snape ignored all this as he read again as everyone felt silent. 'Not if I can help it!' He read as someone clapped.' I'll give you a second choice! What now Malfoy?' The whole room felt silent as you could hear people swallow their popcorn Malfoy slowly covered his face ready to face palm as Snape read.' You kiss me back.'

'Hell no!'

'This is getting gooooodddd!'

'Wow, they totally stole that line from that soup I watch-'

'SHUT UP!' Someone screamed as Snape read on.

'Are you that despite-'

'DRACO-POO'

'Shut up Parkinson!' everyone screamed on their edge of their seats.

'Plain & simply Granger, I kiss you, you kiss me back. Problem solved.' Snape stopped.

'READ ON!' The class chanted as Ron started freaking out.

'Here? Why not? I am not! After dinner? No. I'll French kiss you-'

'SHIT!'

'OMFG!'

'LMFAO!'

'I love their songs!'

'I know right!'

'I NEED to learn how to shuffle!'

'KISS ME DRACO!' Slytherin Girls screamed.

'No way. I promise you're like it. Will not. Will too! NOT! Will. NOT! Goodwill…'

'What?'

'What! The second hand muggle shop…Aren't you're parents muggle's? You should know.'

'Ohh…'

'I don't shop at goodwill. Whatever, Kiss me already.'

'DUN DUN, DUN!'

'To find out what happens going us next week at Dramione101-'

'Will you stop narrating?'

'Well…No more name calling Harry and Ron included.' Snape read.

'Really, Hermione! You're doing that for us!' Harry exclaimed.

'BEAR HUG!' Ron suggested with his arms spread apart.

'This is crazy sister! Better then Gossip girl I watched last night!'

'IKR!'

'ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINE RADING?'

Snape cleared this throat and started again. 'One condition….' He spoke as everyone fell silent…again. 'What? A kiss a day!'

'WHAT!'

"I TOOD YOU 2012!'

'It's 2011 Sherlock.'

'No shit Sherlock.'

'Crazy.'

'Mama Mia here I go again!'

'Is he on anything…?'

'DON'T AGREE HERMIONE!' Ron screamed. 'YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE!'

'The mudblood, who would have known.'

'MERLINS BEARD!'

'READ ON!'

Silence filled the room.' NO! Come on, no teasing and you kiss me once a day. Problem solved. No way. I'll settle for just one kiss then.'

'AWWW!'

'Not any more you don't.'

'Rejection!'

'Want me to just grab you right here and snog you?' Snape read.

'HERMIONE, COME HERE! GET AWAY FROM THAT PHYCO!' Ron demanded. 'THERE'S EVEN A FREE SEAT!' He screamed shoving Harry of his chair.

'Oww! Ron shoved me of my seat and it real hurt!' Harry cried.

'No changing seats,' Snape bugged in.

'But!'

'On with the story!'

'Want me to just grab you right here and snog you? ….No…way….you….bastard. Then I will! No! Yes. NO! I'm just going to come to you when you're at the library and snog you, Deal?' Snape read.

'BUT DRACO POO!'

'SHUT UP PARKINSON!' The whole class (snape un-included) screamed at her.

'MERLIN THIS IS BETTER THEN TWILIGHT!'

'What is this twilight you speak of?-'

'Twilight is about having a sparkly boyfriends-'

'BEST BOOK EVER!'

'TEAM EDWARD!'

'JACOBE IS THE BEAST!'

'TEAM DRACO MALFOY!'

'TEAM CHARLIE!' Student's screamed as the rest of them looked at each other wondering what the hell there talking about.

'READ!'

'Fuck you malfoy. That can be arranged-'

'SAY WHAT!'

'LIKE WOAH!'

'OH NO YOU DIDN'T,' someone screamed as I suddenly heard snaps.

'I bet you Granger's going to say yes.'

'NO WAY!'

'I bet you a gallon!'

'WILL SNAPE JUST READ ALREADY?' Someone screamed as everyone faced snape.

'And I was like no way, and she was like yes way!' He laughed into a muggle cell phone. 'Bye mom.' He muttered as he read once again. 'Pervert Bookworm Slytherin beast. I'm a best now? My feelings are hurt Granger…Now back to our topic.' Snape read.

'Wait for it!'

'Let's listen to the teacher.'

'You owe me a gallon.'

'PARTY POOPER!'

'Nice move.'

'Really Hermione?'

'So classic,' Snape read.' Whatever One kiss…. No. Snog? Same thing malfoy.'

'POWMED!'

'AWWW!'

'How is this better then twilight?-'

'Way better then Twilight.'

'I know right!'

'TWILIGHT IS THE BEST!' Someone screamed from the back of the room.

'Do we even know you?'

'He looks like that Hufflepuff that died.'

'And I thought no one would die that year…'

'Cedric wasn't it?'

'What's his face?'

'HUFFLEFUFFS HAVE NO SOULS!'

'What are we going to do with him?'

'Leave him.' Everyone replied making hand movements.

'Will you read already?

Snape started again. 'Hmp. Go snog Parkinson.'

'FINALLY SOMETHING REASONABLE!' Parkinson screeched.

'SHUT UP PANSY!'

'No way,'

'DRACO!'

'HOW MANY TIMES-'

'Yeah I know 'shut up.'' Parkinson admitted.

'Don't you do that every day anyways, right before dinner?'

'DUH!'

'DOESN'T HE!'

'Where did you hear that? Girl's bathroom… Rumors,' Snape read.

'OMG!'

'IN THE NAME OF TOM RIDDLE!'

'I got to go tweet this!'

'ROLF!'

'Like everyone believes that.' Snape read.' I'm going to kiss you…. Once again no! In 5…'

'COUNT DOWN!'

'OMG!'

'What? 4. …. 3 Malfoy.' Snape read gripping onto the sheet.

'OMG!'

'This is it!'

'These people are so stupid.' Draco muttered.

'Agreed.' I replied.

'2 SNAPE! 1'

'BLASTOFF!'

'OMFG!'

'SNAPE YOU BASTARD YOU RUINED THE WHOLE THING!'

'IF IT WASN'T YOU-'

'AND YOU FAT FACE-'

'AND-'

'GREASY HAIR!'

'Thank Merlin.'

'Wait till the dark lord finds out.

'Well, I guess I'll see you around.' Draco muttered. 'If I don't get killed that is.'

'If it helps I'll give you a kiss….' I muttered.

'Kiss a day deal?'

'Depends,' I mumbled.

'Well, see you after Dinner.'

'YOU TWO SHOULD LIKE SERIOSLY WRIGHT A SEQUAL!' A Gryffindor girl screamed.

'Hell yeah!' Everyone replied as Ron went of sculling in a corner.

A/N: Thanks for reading, I wrote this one day (by hand) when I was bored and I thought I should post it. I thought this whole thing is random, and it's my first shot at a parody. It seriously had NO plot what so ever. Anyways, I prefer HP to twilight but my bestie likes it a lot. I just read the first two books, and I'm team Edward. So please Read and review, I would really appreciate it. Come on just press the button. =*)