A/N: A Russ/Liet one-shot full of angst? You got it. :D Ahaha, this is something for my friend since she loves angsty Russ/Liet. I actually don't really like it, but that's okay. She did, so I figured I'd post it.

Disclaimer: Hima-papa owns. :(

I stepped through the threshold of my lonesome home once again. Everyone had something to do: Estonia was out on "foreign business", which really just meant lazing around with Latvia somewhere other than here. I can't blame them. Ukraine was still being forced to stay away from me on orders from her boss, and Belarus was actually leaving me alone for once. It didn't matter much to me, though. As long as he was home.

Lithuania. No... Toris.

My Toris.

He was what even allowed me to call this place "home". It was nothing without him. A wasteland, similar to my own barren mind. A man can only take so much, until everything erases itself. Memories never to be made again in the planes of his own head.

"Russia! Are you home?"

I heard Toris call me from the other room.

"Let him call." I thought. "He can find me if he wants me."

I sat in the comfortable, red leather chair at my desk. My office is the one place he'd know where to find me, and so this is where I reside most of the time. A comfortable, open room is what my office is, contrary to myself. That's why Toris likes it so much. I stared at the wilting sunflowers perched on the edge of my desk. It was my sister's idea to keep them there, and I did so religiously. Reminding myself that I wasn't here for flowers, I focused on the sound of his steps echoing in the halls. My heart raced faster with each step I heard, waiting for him to find me.

"Ivan. There you are."

The way he calls my name. My real name.

"Why didn't you answer me? I thought something bad happened!"

The worry that colours his voice. His breathless tone, that sets my chest pounding.

"Well, I found you. So, it's all right. Would you like something to eat? A drink?"

That little, relieved smile. The bigger grin that follows, I only see directed at me. The smile I cherish, I see every time I close my eyes.

"Hello? Are you all right, Ivan? Maybe a glass of vodka will do, for you..."

His soft, tinkling voice. A sound more beautiful than anything. The songs that spill from his mouth when he works, I will take with me to my grave.

"There you are. A glass of vodka." he says.

"Please..." I whisper.

"Please, what? Ivan, are you alright?" he answers, his voice even softer and timid.

"Please, stop caring for me... All I ever do is throw you around. Yet you stay. Why...?" I curse myself for my slip up. I am not weak, yet I can't help but say these things around him.

"Because I love yo-" the sickening crunch of my fist hitting his nose resounded in the now-silent room.

"Ahhh!" he screamed, holding his needing nose. At the sound of his voice, I jumped out of my chair and I hit him again. I had already passed the point of no return, with only two hits.

"You love me? You really do? Then tell me, what is there to love in the man that stands before you? Huh?" I saw only his face, as I drew back and hit him square in the gut. He doubled over.

I was enjoying this.

Somewhere in the middle of this madness, I had picked up my lead pipe and started to bash him with it. I heard a shoulder dislocate, a rib crack, and four knuckles break. A bloody, disheveled, sobbing mess. That's what I turned him into.

So why is he still so beautiful in these eyes of mine?

Why, with each tear that runs down his face, does my non-existent heart break a little more?

I don't know. But, I do know that if I keep hitting him, I'm going to kill him. And I just can't stop.

"I-Ivan... Please... Stop... I love y-yo-"

"STOP! STOP THIS! DON'T SAY IT! DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU LOVE ME!" I screamed at his terrified face. I refuse to listen to him say those words. The words I can't say back to him, and it breaks my heart to know that.

"Listen to me, Ivan!" he screamed back at me. Never, not once, had Toris ever retaliated like that. As I recovered from my shock, his shaking voice spoke.

"I love you. I will always love you. And I'll scream it to the world until you believe it." his voice began to raise in volume.

"And if you tear out my throat, I'll write it down. Break my hands, break my ankles, knock out my teeth, I don't care. I'll use every means possible to make you believe that I love you! And if you kill me, at least I know you heard it! I LOVE YOU, IVAN BRAGINSK-" and then all was silent.

Ukraine's POV

I sighed happily as I made my way down the familiar path to my little brother's home. My boss had finally told me that I could see him as I wished, so I picked up a bouquet of sunflowers, and here I am.

I knocked on Ivan's door and there was no answer, however the door was unlocked. That's unusual. Brother is always careful about the entrances to his home. Our little sister just can't stop...

"Brother? Brother! Ivan! Are you home?" I yelled into his empty house.

"-DARE SAY YOU LOVE ME!" that was Brother's voice. Something was definitely wrong.

As I trailed up the steps in his house, I was greeted with a sight I would forever carry with me. There was Lithuania, little, delicate Tori, lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood. He looked like he should have been dead. He was yelling at my brother, like I had heard no one yell at him before. Ivan picked him up from the floor, and-

"I LOVE YOU, IVAN BRAGINSK-"

All was silent in the room.

Ivan's POV

I knew from the look on my sister's face that she had seen me kill the only man I'd ever love. I couldn't blame her; the sickening crack of his neck breaking under my fingers still rang in my ears, too.

I dropped his limp body on the floor in front of my boots. I couldn't feel anything, I was numb.

No, not numb. Dead. I was dead. When his heart stopped beating, so did mine. I would never be able to erase the memory of the smile on his face, even as I broke his neck. The same smile that was still etched on his face, even after I dropped his lifeless body. I will never hear that voice again. Never hear the little songs he'd sing while he did chores. Smell his unique scent as he passed me in a hallway. Never see his beautiful face, alive and blushing. Never see those beautiful eyes stare at me with every emotion he had. Never see the love in his eyes, or feel his delicate touch on my skin.

I didn't realise that I had dropped to my knees in front of his body.

"Toris... I love you. I'm just sorry I had to kill you to realise it." I whispered.

A/N: Like I said, not great. But, it doesn't hurt to post. Hope you liked!