Barasuishou oneshot, adapted from one of the drama cds of the same name. I felt like doing something for Barasuishou, as she doesn't get enough love. Poor Bara. Warning, this fic contains rampant silliness. What's more, I didn't even make any of it up myself - the premise and dialogue are taken from the drama cd, as I said. I pretty much just wrote the thing up as a fic. It does seem like the kind of thing I would come up with, though. Unfortunately.

So here you go, my fanfic adaptation of the Barasuishou Makeover Project, where we learn that Shirosaki is a bit of a perv with a weird fetish, Enju is almost certainly incestuously inclined towards his daughter, and I just want to give Barasuishou a hug because I feel sorry for her. Tune in next time for another Marchen update. I might also do a oneshot for Souseiseki at some point as well, if I can come up with an idea for one. Which at the moment I can't. She's a tough doll to write for.

The Barasuishou Makeover Project

"Enju, there's something I've been meaning to discuss with you ..."

The dollmaker turned to regard Shirosaki, who had just arrived in preparation for opening up the shop for the day. There was a hesitant, somewhat tentative air about him this morning, quite unusual. Given how odd he was at the best of times, that was saying something. Before Enju could ask him to elaborate, Barasuishou beat him to it.

"Discuss?" she repeated, appearing directly behind the nervous shopkeeper. To his credit he was not startled by her sudden appearance, as he'd grown accustomed to it by now.

"Oh, there you are. Yes, I have an important matter I want to bring up ..." Shirosaki cleared his throat politely, before pressing on. "Enju ... what's your impression of Barasuishou thus far?"

Enju considered the question for a moment, resting one hand on a hip as he gazed at his daughter. Barasuishou in turn stared back at him, her face completely passive and expressionless. If she was nervous or eager to hear what her father thought of her, she certainly didn't show it. Enju smiled.

"She's magnificent," he replied finally, "Truly a masterpiece."

Shirosaki looked as if he'd expected such an assessment, though he did not seem to share the sentiment. "Well ..." he began carefully, not wanting to upset the proud dollmaker, "I wouldn't quite go that far. Consider this if you will; when compared to the likes of Shinku, Suiseiseki and the others, I can't help but feel that she's lacking a certain ... something. Put simply ..." Shirosaki turned his thoughtful gaze from Barasuishou to Enju, "She has no personality."

Barasuishou gaped up at him with dull surprise, somewhat illustrating the point he was endeavouring to make. "Personality?" she parroted.

"Yes," Shirosaki nodded, folding his arms and extending his index finger in front of his mouth in a thoughtful gesture, "Shinku, Hinaichigo, Suiseiseki, Souseiseki, Kanaria and Suigintou ... each and every one of them has their own distinctive personality. Something that makes them unique. Memorable. Whereas Barasuishou ..." He regarded the eye-patch wearing doll and her blank expression, searching for the words to explain, "Has a comparatively ... weak personality. And I use the word 'weak' generously in place of 'non-existant' here."

Barasuishou's response to this was distinctly underwhelming. She tilted her head ever so slightly and spoke in a faintly subdued tone of voice. "My personality ... is weak."

Shirosaki sighed. "I think your reaction kind of speaks for itself, really." He perked up a little and pressed his hands together brightly. "But don't worry! I have a plan!" He turned to face Enju before enthusiastically elaborating. "You see, I've put together a couple of training techniques to help remedy the situation. A little something to add some flavour and individuality to her character. I call it ..."

Shirosaki thrust his arms into the air, and if you happened to be listening for it you might just hear the sound of an imaginary drum roll.

"The Barasuishou Makeover Project!" he cried out triumphantly.

An awkward and rather embarrassing silence followed. Seconds passed. Finally Enju gave his shopkeeper a somewhat sceptical look.

"The Barasuishou ..."

"Makeover Project ...?" Barasuishou finished for him, sounding faintly bemused.

Either way, Shirosaki was so enthused by the idea that Enju didn't have the heart to tell him where he could put it, and Barasuishou had so little opinion on the matter that at no point did she voice any actual objections. Thus they set to work clearing a space in which to begin the doll's 'personality training'. A few minutes later they were ready to start, Enju leaning against the counter with a seriously dubious expression, whilst Shirosaki stood in the middle of the shop floor eager to get the show on the road.

"Alright then, ready to begin? Good, let's start with something simple. How about an appeal to cuteness?" He leaned forwards and beamed at the blank faced doll. "I want you to try adding 'nyaa!' to the end of your sentences. Go ahead, give it a try!"

Barasuishou glanced over to her father, who smirked and gave a curt nod. With a swish of her silvery hair, she struck a dramatic pose and said:

"I am Barasuishou, the seventh Rozen Maiden doll ~nyaa."

"Very good!" Shirosaki encouraged, "Again!"

"Come, let us begin ... the Alice Game ~nyaa."

Shirosaki laughed and applauded a little. "Excellent! Wasn't that cute?"

Enju remained unimpressed. "I'm not so sure ..."

The shopkeeper was determined to continue however, and rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Right then, this time I want you to act as if you're pleasant and kind to everybody you meet. Try to be as nice and sweet as you can. Can you give that a try?"

Barasuishou listened to his instructions carefully, before launching into her attempt. She hopped forwards and smiled warmly, hands clasped together beside her face, her one eye pressed shut. She gave a slightly unsettling giggle.

"How do you do?" she said brightly, "My name's Barasuishou. It's a great pleasure to meet all of you! Isn't the weather marvellous today? I must say, those shoes are adorable! Would you care for a drink? It's so wonderful that you came." She giggled again and waved her hand. Enju stared at his daughter, mildly astonished by her little act, as he'd never seen her behave quite so cheerful before. Shirosaki was thrilled by her performance and applauded her again, beaming widely.

"Great! That was very convincing. Now then, let me see you play the serious class representative type. You know - like that Miss Kashiwaba who stops by here."

Barasuishou's demeanour changed abruptly, shifting from smiling and giggling to a stern faced scowl, her voice taking on a commanding, authoritative edge to it. "Everyone, pay attention! I have something very important to say! Really now, why must you all behave so selfishly? Did I not say that it was time to begin the Alice Game?" Barasuishou stamped her foot and pointed at Shirosaki so sharply that if he'd been standing any closer to her he'd have cut himself. "You there! Go to your case! And you! Why haven't you handed in your Rosa Mystica already?"

Shirosaki nodded effusively at her performance. "Good! That's it! Hey, you're really getting the hang of this now, aren't you?" He stood up straight and turned to Enju, who was rubbing his chin in a thoughtful manner. Shirosaki smirked at him. "Impressive, isn't she? So then Enju, do you have any requests you-"

"A blushing young bride!" Enju interrupted eagerly, no longer treating the exercise with his earlier scorn. Once again, Barasuishou jumped to her assigned role, her expression and body language shifting abruptly. Now she stood demurely with her feet together, hands clasped before her, giving her father a shy bow.

"Welcome home, my husband. How was work today?" She spoke softly, her tone controlled and respectful, "Would you like to take a bath now? If so I shall prepare one for you. Or perhaps you would prefer dinner first? I have made your favourite today." She stood upright and smiled timidly, her normally pale cheeks flushed. "Or if it is your wish, we could ..."

Enju was breathing quite heavily with excitement during the doll's little performance, and when Barasuishou trailed off suggestively at the end he was very nearly panting in anticipation. Eventually he realised that they were not actually alone together, and that his shopkeeper was watching him with a somewhat startled expression. He calmed himself down and gave his daughter a curt nod.

"Good. Yes, very ... nice."

Shirosaki laughed nervously and rubbed the side of his head. "Haha, well Enju, you're really getting into the spirit of things now, aren't you? Aha."

Enju cleared his throat and folded his arms, his expression becoming serious and a touch morose. "Now then ... it's twilight. A young girl rides the swings in the park, alone. A slight breeze tugs at her beautiful hair. A man appears before her, the man that this girl longs and yearns for. However she cannot work up the courage to speak to him. As she wrestles with her heart, trying to decide what to do, too late she realises that he is already gone. Depressed due to her lack of courage, the girl-"

"Wait a second!" Shirosaki's nervous smile twitched into a grimace and he waved his hands to stop Enju right there. "I ... umm, think you're getting a bit too carried away. There's no need to make things so needlessly complicated, really."

Enju stared at him.

"Moving on ..." Shirosaki turned back to Barasuishou, who had defaulted to her normal blank state of being during the lull in her training. "Let's go for something a little different. How about ... hmm ... how about a domineering and regal queen. Yes! Wielding a whip that she uses to discipline her lowly servants. Go ahead Barasuishou."

The Enju doll snapped to it, this time making a series of gestures about her. A crystal tiara materialised upon her head, and in her hands a glittering crystalline whip coiled itself in her outstretched hand. She struck a haughty pose and sneered disdainfully at Shirosaki.

"On your knees, peasant! Bow before your queen and lick our royal shoes clean! Oh? What is the meaning of this defiant look we see in your eyes?" Barasuishou scoffed, her amber eye narrowing dangerously. "How impertinent, it seems that you still do not know your place, do you?" She uncoiled the whip and lashed out with it, striking the gawking shopkeeper again and again. The whip cracked the air with each blistering blow it landed, Barasuishou grinning maliciously as she relentlessly attacked. "We are not amused!"

"Ow!" Shirosaki dropped to his knees and clutched at his head, flinching with pain yet smiling oddly as well, as if he enjoyed it. "Yes, my queen! I am nought but trash before your glorious presence!" Crack! "Scum! Worthless!" Crack! "A mere worm not fit to writhe in your glory!" The expression on his face grew ever more obscene with each lash of the whip Barasuishou dealt him, and he seemed to derive some twisted sense of pleasure from the punishment. "Yes!" Crack! "Ah!" Crack! "More!" Crack! "Hurt me more!"

"Shirosaki ..."

Crack! "Yes!Yes!Yes!"

"Shirosaki!" Enju called out.

Crack! "More!" Crack! "More!" Crack! "Moremoremoremore!"

"Enough!" Enju snapped, his voice finally rising above the ear-splitting sound of the whip and staying Barasuishou's hand. He glared at the shopkeeper, who at least had the decency to appear embarrassed by the display. He chuckled a little and got unsteadily to his feet, adjusting his clothes.

"Ah, well ... umm ... my apologies, it seems I got a little carried away there. Aha." He took a deep, steadying breath. "All relevant to the training, of course, but ... I'll try not to ... well." He fixed his skewed glasses and then fell silent.

"Very well then," Enju prompted, watching the shopkeeper warily. Shirosaki cleared his throat and turned to the doll standing obediently before him.

"Getting back on track," he said with a small laugh, "Let's try an ... innocent little sister type girl."

The whip and tiara dissolved in a haze of violet light as Barasuishou turned to Enju, treating him to a quite convincing look of wide-eyed innocence and affection. "Big brother," she said tenderly, "please call me Bara-rin, okay?"

Enju seemed to choke at her words. "B-Bara ... Bara-rin?"

Seeing his reaction, Shirosaki leaned close towards the doll whilst keeping a watchful eye on Enju. "Now," he whispered to her, "a cute little girl spoiled by her loving father."

Barasuishou's face seemed to melt with love and happiness, and she gazed up at Enju with adoration, her mouth slightly open. She clasped her hands together against her chest as she spoke with a sweet, cutesy and childish voice.

"Fa-ther! When Barasuishou grows up, she's going to become your bride. And she's going to love you forever and ever."

Their eyes met, and in this instance it seemed that Barasuishou was not in fact acting. The expression upon her face, the sincerity in her voice, the light within her eye ... it was all too real. More real than any of her other performances. She meant every word with complete honesty, for in this case Shirosaki had given her a role to take on that was true to who she really was. Enju smiled with open and earnest warmth at his daughter and leaned towards her, arms extended in invitation. Barasuishou gave a single laugh of happiness and took a step towards him-

"And next, a severe and captivating bondage queen!" Shirosaki exclaimed at the top of his voice.

Crack!

"Oh-hohoho! You will address us as 'Your Majesty'!" Barasuishou commanded.

Crack!

"Ah!" Crack! "Ahh ... !" Crack! Crack! "Yes!" Crack! "Your!" Crack! Crack! Crack! "Majesty!"

Crack! Crack! Crack!

Enju sighed and pressed a hand to his face. "You did that one already," he muttered. Shirosaki jumped up and chortled apologetically.

"Ah, so I did. I guess for me this particular role is just ... well ..."

Enju groaned and waved dismissively at him. "Enough! That's it, we're done. Let's just pretend none of this ever happened and get back to work." He lowered his voice a few notches before adding; "I think this whole affair has been just a little bit disturbing ..." He turned to address his daughter now, drawing himself to his full height. "Barasuishou."

"Yes father?"

"You are the ultimate doll, without equal. I created you to be the perfect young bri-" He stopped and caught himself, before hastily trying again, "Girl! The perfect girl. Yes. There is no need for any more of this silly training, is that understood?"

Barasuishou bowed her head slightly, smiling. "Yes-"

Enju nodded, satisfied.

"-my husband."