Author's Note:

I've been persuaded to continue lol Someone gave me an idea and I think I'll make at least one more chapter :) Thanks Eneth nin Galasriniel

Life was so different now, always lying, pretending, hiding and now running. Castiel kept the truth from Dean for as long as he could but there was something about the Winchester's that brought them straight to the most unravelling secrets. Cass never wanted Dean to know about any of this, especially how he and Crowley were together. Every fight between the demon and angel ended the same way as it had in the beginning, Cass ended up in Crowley's arms sobbing and trembling just as before.

Sam and Dean had thankfully only discovered the terrible deal he'd made, none of the rest. Cass tried to explain himself to Dean, tried to explain it in Crowley's terms but his friend would have none of it. It hurt; his heart ached every time Dean turned that disapproving look on him. But what could he do? The way Dean would look at him if he knew the truth would be so much worse, wouldn't it?

Cass fidgeted with the disgusting mixture of virgin and monster in his hands, the container starting to weigh more than he had anticipated. Crowley had just handed it to him, excited and fully expecting everything to go well. Cass bit his bottom lip, the expression Dean wore the last time they spoke burned into his brain and stabbing at his heart. 'Dean...'

"I'm changing our arrangement." He blurted out, standing up and turning to face the man he'd come to depend on and yet despise considerably.

Crowley's expression hardened, "Ducky," he spoke menacingly, approaching Cass in that familiar way, "We've talked about this."

Cass stepped back and shook his head, "I'm no fool, Crowley. I won't hand the new devil half the souls of Purgatory." This wasn't the only thing he was taking into account, if Crowley received half the power that Castiel gained then they'd remain at the stalemate they were at. Cass was afraid of the thought that Crowley would continue to punish him like he had been, he didn't know if he'd be able to handle that kind of treatment for much longer.

There was no way he could turn back now, though. They were on that path to Purgatory and it was the only way that Castiel could think of to remove Raphael from the picture. He had to save Dean, he had to.

"You ingrateful little-"

Cass adjusted his shoulders and flared the strength of his grace in Crowley's direction, "Flee, or die. Your choice." He heard the words but couldn't believe it had been his voice speaking them. The only tone he'd ever taken with Crowley had been pleading, whimpering and sobbing since the first day. This? This sounded rough; it came out like gravel and actually made the King of Hell take a step away. One more forward motion of his legs made Crowley vanish and a wave of relief washed over him, at least for now.

Regret followed quickly, however. After all that he'd done to get to this point, what was it for? To hide? Dean figured out the deal and was coming for him, to stop him. He'd pushed Crowley away, defending himself for once, but he'd done it way too late. He'd broken the wall in Sam's mind to protect his fucking secret, now Dean would never take him back. Tears flowed down Cass' cheeks, his arms wrapped around the key to saving Dean's life one more time. What did it matter if Cass survived? It didn't, not really. Dean was forever out of his reach; no matter how far he reached or how hard he tried he'd never have him.

It was obvious where Crowley was going, he'd never give up on the Purgatory thing as long as he lived. Who could he run to that would fight Castiel? Raphael, the one Cass had been trying to stop. He knew he had to find a way to trick them, to make sure that he was the one left standing in the end of it all. Crowley, the new devil, could never win. Raphael, trying to restart the apocalypse, he could never allow to win. It pointed to one thing; Castiel had to beat them both and in one move. "God help me..." he whispered under his breath, his body eerily still.

Dean's foot was flattened against the pedal which was pushed to the floor, they were running out of time and for all he knew Purgatory would bring about a second end of the world. With no idea what kind of monsters would spew forth, he figured it was a better idea to keep it shut. Of course, fighting against his angel wasn't something he'd expected or ever wanted to do. 'Damn it Cass.' His mind cursed. 'Why would you go this far? Why wouldn't you just ask for help?'

They arrived in time to be hurdled across the ground by a twister of demons, only further proving they were running out of time. Dean struggled out of the car and booked it to the building, to his angel. Maybe if he could talk some sense into him, maybe Castiel would come back, see it wasn't too late. Dean felt a strong and violent ache beating heavily into his ribcage as he snuck through the door and over looked the view below, Castiel stood opposite Raphael and Crowley with something of a bitter smile on his face.

'Cass...' Dean's heart nearly stopped as he watched Crowley vanish and Raphael's exploding form splatter in several different directions. 'Cass no.'

Those beautiful baby blues shifted to stare at Dean and he could see something broken inside. "Cass," Dean approached the power-drunk angel cautiously, "Cass?"

Castiel's eyes twitched, a malevolence having devoured the purity Dean used to see there. Cass' mind reeled in several directions, those painful feelings from earlier caught in a whirlwind of anger, humiliation, and self-loathing. And yet... something prevailed over all of it, forced it down in a burning rush and smothering it. 'I love you, Dean.' The thought, his favourite thought, started fading with the rest of who he thought he was. 'Dean... Dean! DEAN!' His mind screamed and his grace fought back but nothing he did could stop the monster inside him.

He watched within; the broken, destroyed expression Dean wore as he tried to talk Castiel down, or... whatever this thing was. From inside, Cass screamed for him, begged to be saved, set free again... But his words came out different, they weren't even his words. "I'm your new God." Cass couldn't believe what he was hearing but he couldn't stop it, this thing... whatever he'd consumed from Purgatory had taken over him, pushed him to the edge and further. 'DEAN!' He shrieked in his desperation but his voice barely made a sound, made no difference.

Why would Dean save him? He'd lied, and betrayed Dean, and even hurt Sam! He was defiled, disgusting and dirty; used, ruined... who would want him now? Not just his first time but first everything, and several times had been stolen by a demon. He was beaten down and forced to a dirty floor more times than he wanted to remember, but he recalled each one. Every time he'd been left in his own humiliation, naked and alone. Why would Dean want something so vile? 'I'm not worth it.'

"Cass, please." Dean's voice broke through the deafening rumble of souls within him, "Castiel, you can't do this. I can't lose you too." Tears ran down the hunter's face as he approached the over-powered creature.

Cass arrogantly didn't move to stop Dean from stepping forward, his condescending smile trained in the man's direction. "Cass, I love you." Dean choked, a light sob escaping him, "Please Cass." He reached and cupped the angel's scruffy cheek gently, leaning in and pressing his lips fully against Castiel's.

Cass' body flinched as if a surge of power gripped him and forced its way through him. From inside he could feel it, a rejuvenating sensation as if an enormous weight was lifted from him. But there was something else, a feeling he hadn't experienced in much too long. 'Father?' He whispered inwardly as the wave of strength passed through him, stealing much of the corruption in its wake.

Castiel slumped into the kiss and Dean's arms, his knees buckling beneath him knocking them both to the floor. Dean held Cass close, cradling him in his lap, "Cass?" his voice was soft and hopeful as he prodded his angel gently, stroking his cheek and following through by running his fingers past Cass' ear and through his hair. "Cass?"

Deep blue eyes flickered open and drifted up his comforter's torso lazily, "Dean?" he whispered. In moments the reality of what he'd done dawned on him and he tried to pull away shamefully.

"Cass, wait!" Dean tightened his grip around Castiel's trembling shoulders, "What happened? Did you let go of the souls?"

Cass turned teary eyes on his human, regretful and ashamed he nodded, "Something forced them out of me." He swallowed and turned his gaze downward, feeling as though he wasn't allowed to look Dean in the eyes, "I'm so sorry, Dean." The tears dripped down his cheeks and onto his shirt, slowly soaking it. "I'm so sorry." Cass tried to pull away again, a last burst of strength before his sobbing broke him down. He was an angel again, still strong enough to tear away from Dean. Cass remained on the ground, his hands and knees barely holding him up as he wept, his entire body shaking ferociously. "Please forgive me!" he cried out, lowering his head to the floor.

Dean hurried to Cass' side, though he brushed past the angel's rear-end to get there. Castiel let out a sharp scream as he hurdled himself onto his side, his ass facing away from anyone in the room. Dean stared in shock at the wild, insane fear that consumed Castiel's expression and caused the angel to cry harder. "Please Dean I'm sorry! Please don't! Please don't!"

"Whoa, whoa! Cass calm down," Dean inched closer, "I'm not doing anything, I promise. Why are you so scared?" He got close enough to place a gentle hand on Castiel's shoulder reassuringly.

Cass trembled as he looked up at Dean, barely able to see through his tears, "I'm sorry..." His bottom lip started to vibrate with the rest of him but he promptly bit it, "I... I can't..." He couldn't explain what happened, not after hiding it and going to so much length to keep it secret. But... he owed Dean now; he owed him so much more than he could give. After what he'd done he deserved this, deserved Dean looking down on him like a dirty fool. "Crowley, he..."

Dean's eyes narrowed as he pulled Castiel into his lap again, "What did he do?"

Cass sobbed lightly, "He had his way with me; that's why I didn't come to you first... I'm ashamed of myself." He curled inward but Dean wouldn't let him go too far.

"Cass," He whispered softly in his angel's ear, his tone sympathetic not judging. "That's why you should have come to me."

"How could I?" Cass said hoarsely, "I'm filthy, I'm ruined and humiliated; I couldn't bear to let you know, to see you look at me knowing how I'd been defiled. I couldn't take..." he lifted his hands to cover his face, crying quietly into them.

"Cass it's not like that." Dean squeezed his angel, hoping to stop the shaking, "I could never look at you that way. Cass look at me for a second," Dean loosened his grip and leaned back a little, watching the puffy-eyed face slowly peer up at him, "I'm human, okay? I'm one of the dirtiest and filthiest beings out there, you? You're an angel. You're clean to a fault, Cass. With the snap of your fingers you could be good as new, I know you don't feel it but you are clean." Dean leaned forward and connected their lips again to prove he didn't care.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and pressed his hips against the hunter's fervently, he could hardly express how happy he was to hear that. "Dean," he breathed into the kiss, pulling his face away enough to speak, "I love you."

Dean smiled and kissed back, "I love you too."

"You saved me." Cass whispered with a smile, "Thank you."

"Hey," Dean frowned, "You saved my butt more times than I can count, I think I owe you at least this much."

Cass sighed lightly as he laid his head down on Dean's chest, letting the remaining tears flow away.

Sam stumbled to Bobby's side, "What'd I miss?"

The older hunter shrugged, "Uh, not much." He glanced at Sam, then back at the two on the floor. For a second he just stood there until he had to do a double take. "SAM!" Bobby exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the taller Winchester, "My god boy! It's good to see ya!"

Sam smiled, "Yeah, I thought I'd show up with something trying to kill the world. Instead I get Dean snogging Cass, what the hell." He laughed wearily.

Right, so I'm sure that's the real end of it lol Unless someone else comes up with a good idea to continue it. Btw I'd appreciate some reviews! I need the love XD