"A.I.'s talking"

XxX

Even with GlaDOS snarling at her from the end of her portal gun, Chell couldn't bring herself to budge from that shattered and broken down platform. Wheatley's babbling and listing of things she'd find down the pit in front of them was just too amusing.

"You really do have brain damage don't you?" The potato growled, yellow optic blinking threateningly. Of course what she failed to remember, was that even if Chell did in fact jump into the pit as Wheatley was begging her to, her LongFall boots would keep her legs and spine from shattering into a thousand pieces.

Chell just smiled down at her softly. She made cognitive deterioration sound like a bad thing!

"What's this? A lovely handbag?" Wheatley cooed in exaggerated excitement. Chell giggled slightly, now he was just listing things a regular girl would want. Silly metal ball. "Um, you've got a yacht! And... boys!" Chell looked up, a wide grin on her face. "Loads of fellas! Hunky guys down there..."

Chell went to laugh openly, but paused suddenly. What would be the two A.I.'s reactions if she did jump down there? GlaDOS would have a fit, and Wheatley would probably feel sudden triumph. Neither of them seemed to realise she had the boots on, and this just seemed funny to her.

"Possibly even a boyfriend! Who's to... say at this... stage..." Wheatley trailed off a bit, as if reconsidering that suggestion. When he next looked down at Chell, the woman was flashing him a smug grin. He squinted, trying to figure out what she was smiling at. She then spun around on the ball of her foot to face the wall, arms out stretched like an eagle. "Wh- hey!" Chell lunged backwards into the air, GlaDOS making the most indignant scream a potato could possibly manage.

The smile was still on her face, but Wheatley ignored it. He suddenly became flustered and panicky, thrusting one of those steel plates forward so she would land on the back of it. Chell did so, but oddly landed on her butt with a grunt.

"You jumped!" He yelled, uh, shrieked. "You jumped coz I said you could get a boyfriend down there? If you want a boyfriend so bad, dammit, I'll date you any day!" There was a silence, even GlaDOS had stopped her frantic cursing at Chell to praise the awkwardness. Wheatley, however, mentally bit a non-existent lower lip when he noticed the LongFall boots on her feet. "Of... course, it would be a trap! You know! To gain your trust! And then I'd stab you in the back and break your heart... but, uh, as I just told you that plan; I can't really go through with it! So, never mind... um..." he babbled like a lunatic. Chell still had that smile on her face.

Wheatley finally stopped when Chell simply giggled and looked up at him with sparkling eyes.

"You are just far too adorable."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

XxX

Question: How does a potato be sick? Oh, I don't know...