Authors note

Please note that English is not my native language. Sorry for the errors if there are any.

Disclaimer

Thankfully I don't own NCIS LA or any of the wonderful characters we all know and love because I would never have been able to create something so fantastic. No friction intended so please don't sue me.

Take a chance on me

She hasn't seen nor heard from him for nearly six weeks and it's breaking her heart. Every day she thinks about how they left things. Every day she thinks about the possibility of him not coming back and it makes her sick to her stomach.

They know better than to leave things they way they did. In their line of work you don't go undercover with unresolved issues because you never know when your time is up. You always make things right, or at least you talk things through before you go. They didn't and every day she prays for his safe return so she can make things right.

She hates those undercover assignments. This is the third time he has gone deep under cover for the LAPD since they became partners, not counting the first time when she barely knew him and Lazik almost ended their partnership before it really began.

She won't admit this to anyone but they all know that she is miserable without him. They don't exactly have a relationship but they have been enjoying some very personal moments together for some time. And yes, it was everything she whished for, right until that moment when he told her he wanted more.

And that is exactly why she is miserable. They had a fight the night before he left. Not their first fight and definitely not their last, but it was the first time they fought about their relationship, or the lack of it.

After yet another mind blowing session in bed he told her he wanted more than just sex from her. She had freaked out and refused to talk about it. And then he said that four letter L-word she feared like no other.

Ever since he left, her mind has been on the phone call he would make when he came back. When he came back from his other missions she had been the first one he called. So when Hetty called her to her office when she was packing her things to go home for the weekend, and told her Deeks would be in on Monday morning, Kensi was a little surprised. Secretly she checked her phone to see if there was a missed call from him but there wasn't.

She managed to keep her disappointment from Hetty and agreed to be in touch with him over the weekend to help him to become Marty Deeks again. She knew form his other under cover missions that it sometimes took some time for him to shed his alias and become him self and she would be there to listen if he wanted to talk.

She finished packing up her things and went home. It was only 5 pm and he might still call her although she had a feeling he was still sulking and wouldn't want to be the one to call first. Marty Deeks might be charming and easy going and always in a good mood, but he could also be incredibly stubborn, even more so than she was. And if he really wanted something, he usually got it in the end.

She decided to run a bubble bath and relax a little before seeing him. After the bath she put on her new black undies and bra and got dressed in jeans and a tight fitting top with buttons running all the way down the front. Nothing too revealing but she still managed to show a little of her new bra and some cleavage. She took a little longer doing her hair and make up than usual, not that she was doing this for him, she just had the time while waiting for his call.

At 6 pm she is sitting on her sofa, waiting for his call. An hour later she is still sitting on the sofa and he hasn't called. She realizes that he's not going to call, he's waiting for her to make the first move and damn it, she's going to give in.

Half an hour later she tries calling him but there is no answer. So she gets in her car and drives to his apartment, stopping for some Chinese food on the way.

She calls him twice from the car but there is still no answer and now she's getting worried. It's almost dark when she gets to his place and there doesn't seem to be much light coming from inside the apartment, only the flicker from the TV indicates that he is at home.

She knocks on the door and calls out his name but there is no answer. She digs in her purse for his key. They gave each other a key to each others apartment some months ago for emergencies only but they both use their keys more frequently than that.

As she opens the door she quickly realizes that he's not only at home, he has also been drinking. She can smell the alcohol from where she is standing in the doorway. He is sitting on the sofa in the dark and slowly turns his head as the door opens.

"Hey" she says casually as she steppes in and closes the door behind her.

"Well, if it isn't the woman of my dreams" he says with sarcasm. "Why are you here?"

"I thought you might need some company" she tells him and moves into the kitchen with the food. She knows he likes what she bought for him, they usually get their Chinese from this particular take away and she ordered what he usually orders.

"I brought you something to eat" she continues while she unpacks their dinner. She had bought beer but she recons water would be a better choice right now, at least for him.

He gets up from the sofa and walks towards her in nothing but his boxer briefs and boots, holding a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He looks ridiculously funny and terribly sexy at the same time looking like that.

Thankfully it is rather dark inside the apartment because she can't take her eyes of his well toned body and those boxer briefs leave next to nothing to the imagination.

She reminds her self to breathe and to focus on his face. It's not the first time she has seen his gorgeous body but it reminds her just how much she wants him. She notices that his hair is shorter than usual and that it almost looks like it has been combed. She has never seen him with short hair before and she has the almost uncontrollable urge to run her fingers through his natural curls. He is also clean shaven which makes him look younger. For some reason she is almost shy and doesn't know where to look until she sees his phone on the table with three missed calls.

"You didn't answer any of my calls" she says. "Are we okay?"

"Have you changed you mind about that thing we talked about before I left?" he asks her as he stops right in front her.

She manages to look him straight in the eye before giving him her answer. "Not really."

"Then we're not okay." He takes a swig from the bottle and stares back at her. She knows that they could stand there the whole night staring each other down because of their stubbornness and wonders why on earth he thinks they would make a good couple.

She's the one that backs down.

"Deeks..." she says quietly putting one hand on his arm. She doesn't want to have this discussion right now, not when he is this drunk and almost naked. She can't think straight looking at him like that.

"Princess..." he says in return, still staring at her.

Another staring contest and this time she holds out for almost a minute before glancing down, reading the words Calvin Klein form the waistband of his boxer briefs. And then she gets extremely embarrass for noticing because it means she was looking at the waistband of his briefs and maybe a little bit at his torso too. She is looking at him like a kid looks at candy and by God, she can't help her self.

She needs to change her focus before she looses her self control. She swallows hard before asking: "So, how did the assignment go? Did you get the guy?"

"Yes" her replies without offering any further information on the subject.

"What did he do?" she asks after a moment of silence.

"Bad things" he answers.

"Really Deeks? Could you be more specific?"

"Hired a hit man to kill a witness."

"Were you the hit man?" she asks, still trying to make this into a conversation.

"Yes."

"And your alias, anyone I know?"

"No."

"Could you perhaps make a sentence, this conversation is a little one sided" she tells him a little frustrated.

"Oh, I'm sorry" he replies with a sarcastic smile. "He is about my age, tall, dark and handsome, likes to dress up in a suit, loves fast cars, easy women and world peace." He finishes his sentence off with a smile that any beauty queen would be proud of and then he takes a swig from the bottle.

"James Bond?" she deadpans. She should have known he wouldn't give her a straight answer. "Your dark mood and lack of clothing at the moment fit's just perfectly."

There is yet another moment of silence and she can't think of anything to say. He doesn't seem to mind. He's just standing there in his underwear with a faint smile on his lips, knowing what this is doing to her and reveling in the feeling it gives him.

She is just about to give up on having a conversation with him. He seems to have shed his alias without much trouble and doesn't need her to help him with that process.

"You look tired" she says. "Perhaps you should go to bed."

"Will you be joining me?" he asks her.

"Probably not" she tells him and reaches for the bottle but he's not giving it up.

"Then I'm not going to bed" he declares and takes yet another swig from the bottle. He sounds a little bit like a naughty child that won't go to bed when told to do so.

"Okay, what do you want to do?" she asks and as soon as the words leave her mouth she regrets the question. He rarely looses their verbal battles and he will surely find a way to turn this into his advantage.

"I wanna do you" he answers with a lecherous smile on his lips as he moves a little closer to her, invading her personal space.

She swallows hard, trying not to let him know what this is doing to her. The truth is she would really like to do him too but now is not the time. "That's not really an option right now" she tells him.

A familiar smile spreads across his face and she can feel her stomach doing somersaults like when she was fifteen and had a huge crush on one of the boys in school. Only this is not just a crush she has on Deeks, she's knows she has fallen hard for him.

"Does that mean that it will be an option later?" He moves one step closer to her, closing the distance between them and circling her waist with his free hand, pulling her closer.

She's not answering his question. Of course it will be an option later. Hell, it will even be mandatory and he knows it. Their lovemaking is mind-blowing ... and there she goes using that L-word. It's sex, their sex is mind-blowing!

When he starts walking her backwards to his bedroom she decides to try one more time to get his one track mind of their relationship ... or lack of it. She had forgotten the food and it was probably getting cold but she would try it anyway. "I brought some Chinese, are you hungry?"

"What!" He stops walking and looks at her with laughter in his eyes. "I'm trying to seduce you and you start talking about food? I'm just not doing this right" he says and hands her the bottle of Jack Daniels.

As she takes the bottle and puts it up to her lips for a drink she feels both his hands on her waist as he lifts her up and sits her down on the dresser in the hallway. She is completely unprepared for this move and instead of drinking from the bottle she just pours the liquid over her chin, neck and chest.

His lips are on her the moment he sets her down. He tires to get as much of the liquid in his mouth as he can. Going from her collarbone he works his way up her neck, kissing and licking until he stops, barely letting his tongue touch her lower lip before pulling away.

She is too stunned to protest and she really doesn't want to. He might be plastered but he sure as hell knows how to turn her on.

They are the same height now that she is sitting on the dresser and he is looking straight at her. He knows exactly what effect he's having on her and that her defenses are somewhat braking down.

He steps closer and pulls her towards him. He weaves his fingers into her hair as he leans in to breath in her scent. "I missed you every day I was out there" he whispers, resting his head on her shoulder.

Again she feels the butterflies in her stomach and can hardly breathe. "I missed you, too" she whispers back to him.

He raises his head and looks her straight at her. "Why won't you take this chance with me? I know we will be great together." His voice is pleading, his lips almost touching hers. She can feel his breath on her face and although it smells like half a bottle of Jack Daniels it's warm and she likes it.

Her heart wants her to put her hands up to cup his face and kiss him and tell him that she will always be there for him, but her brain is telling her that it would be a bad idea to follow her heart. She knows where that can lead to, loneliness and heartbreak.

"Deeks ..." she whispers.

"Kensi ..." he mimics without moving.

"What do you want from me?" she asks him.

"You know what I want from you" he tells her. His fingers are toying with the buttons on her top while he gives her his answer. "I love you. I don't know what the future brings but I'm hoping that perhaps one day we'll get married and have a couple of kids and a house with a garden and perhaps a dog. Until then I want you to be a part of my life because when I'm with you I'm a better man."

She admits to herself that she pretty much feels the same way, that when they are together she feels whole. "What if we suck at being a couple?"

"Then I will have loved you with all my heart and will cherish every happy moment we ever had together" he tells her. "I will have no regrets because we tried."

He's wearing her down and she has to admit that he's right. They really are good together and at the moment she's just being difficult. "But what if we disagree on something and you go under cover for the LAPD for weeks like this time. I don't think I could handle that again."

"Not going to happen, I promise" he tells her.

"You can't promise that!" she cuts in, tears in her eyes. "I disobeyed my father the night he died. I wasn't supposed to go to the movies but I snuck out and went anyway. The last time I saw him alive, I told him a lie. I told him I would be in my room studying. I can never take that back."

"When you left" she continues, "I felt like that again. Like when my father died and I hated myself for not going after you to make things right. I can not go through that again."

He kisses her tears away before speaking. "I handed in the papers Hetty gave me. Come Monday morning I will be Agent Martin Andrew Deeks. No more LAPD."

It almost sounds too good to be true but then she remembers why he hadn't signed the papers when Hetty gave them to him. "But you love being a cop" she says. "It's who you are, remember what you said? Please tell me you didn't do this for me?"

"I did this for me" he tells her. "I also hated the way we left things. It will never happen again."

This is where she looses control. She leans forward and her lips meet his in a slow kiss.

"Stay with me tonight" he asks her when their lips part. This is one of the things they were fighting about. She never stays over and if they have sex at her place she always sends him home after. He on the other hand wants to wake up next to her and has in fact pointed out the possibility of early morning sex to support his case. "I won't do anything you don't want me to, I promise."

"I'll stay" she tells him. "It seems I'm running out of excuses. It doesn't mean anything ... yet, but I like the prospect of early morning sex, that is if you think you can handle it."

He has worked his way through all the buttons on her top and is now looking at her new bra. "A present for me?" he asks her and gently tugs on a small bow in the front.

"You like it?" she asks him back.

"Yes" he tells her and takes her top of, letting it fall on the floor.

"You don't like my top?" she continues.

He smiles and she can hear his throaty laughter as he helps her down from the dresser and leads her into his bedroom. "I like it better on the floor" he tells her and finds her a t-shirt to sleep in.

They settle in the bed, her head is resting on his shoulder, his arm around her. He turns slightly to look at her. "I love you Kensi Marie Blye" he tells her with a smile.

There it is that terrifying L-word again and she almost panics. He notices her reaction and laughs. "Would it kill you to say it back?" he teases her.

"No, I ... like you too."

"That will have to do for now" he tells her. "I'm probably going to pass out any minute now. Feel free to take advantage of me, my condoms are in the top drawer."

"Really, Deeks? What would be the fun in that?" she asks him.

"No, I'm joking" he says laughing. "Just promise me you'll be here when I wake up in the morning."

"Promise" she replies and curls up next to him, breathing in the familiar scent she missed so much these six weeks without him.

Why can't she tell him how she really feels? She is truly head over heals in love with Deeks. She knows it's time to face her fears of loosing him like the other men in her life. She can't keep using Jack as an excuse for not committing to a relationship. And being with Deeks just feels right.

"I do ... love you, Martin Andrew Deeks" she whispers into the darkness.

He hugs her closer to his body and places a kiss on her forehead. "I heard that but if it makes you feel any better I'll pretend I didn't."

She doesn't answer and he doesn't asks her again. She knows he's smiling in the dark and it makes her happy to know that he's happy. She closes her eyes and hugs him back. She could get used to cuddling up to him every night, in fact she's sure it's almost the best feeling in the world.

Kensi Marie Blye falls asleep a few minutes later with a happy smile on her face because she has made the decision to love again.

THE END

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