Sorry it's been so long since I updated this. Initially, I was wondering about the feasibility of continuing it because of interest. But lately, a few people have specifically asked about it and I decided I wanted to come back to it. Of course it's AU, and by now it's a long time in the past. But I wanted my version of this to have some closure, so here it is.

It's kind of long, but I've been working on it all week and that's what tends to happen. I didn't want to just give this a quick, pat ending; I wanted to flesh it out and end it in the way like I'd always intended. I'm kind of happy with the way it turned out, and I hope you all are too. It's slightly different than the way I originally intended for it to end, but I still like it.

Since it's been so long, I kind of want to advise you to go back and read the story from the beginning to refamiliarize yourself with the story and get the 'feel' of it back because this story is a lot different in tone than what I usually write. And if you can't do that, then I've provided a few paragraphs from the last chapter to show where we left off, and to segue into the new chapter.

Disclaimer: the usual.

He looked up at Jim. "I already said that I wouldn't totally abandon her. I just need to...scale back, if you will."

"No, I won't. Son, I can't force you to do anything, I know that. But I can appeal for that love you say you have for my daughter. Be there for her. Stay with her, more than just five minutes every third day. Help her get well. Because I know she'll listen to you, and I know she'll want you there. I don't know what the hell happened to make you disappear the first time, but I'm sincere when I ask you: pease don't disappear again."

Rick so wanted to ask Jim why he wasn't having this conversation with Josh, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the man's name. So as he gazed up at Jim, he said softly, "Okay, Jim." Rick saw Kate's dad visibly relax at his agreement. But he forged on, because he knew what else he had to say, and it was the only way that he felt he could possibly do what Jim was asking, knowing what he knew, and remembering what he'd heard.

"I won't disappear. I'll stay with Kate while she gets better. But I have one condition. I have to hear it from Kate that she wants me there. She has to ask me to stay."

Jim looked at him, obviously taken aback by what he'd just heard Rick say. "Rick, she just almost died." He mildly regretted his strong words when he saw Rick visibly flinch. But he forged on. "She's not in a position to beg and plead with you. And you know that's not her style anyway. She was so happy, so...totally content to have you with her before...you could tell that from just looking at her. It was just automatic, that she accepted your presence. She looked for it. She didn't ask you then, but you were there. And for her to ask you now...she can't...Rick, she's recovering. From a gunshot wound to her chest. She's still on pain meds, she's still sleeping a lot, and she's trying to heal. She's not in a place where she can have some big intense talk."

Jim's words made a certain amount of sense, and they made Rick feel guilty for thinking it. But at the same time, she also had the strength, even several days ago and despite the coughing fits, to say what she did to...her boyfriend. And that wasn't him. And that was the crux of his problem.

"Jim, I'm not asking for a big intense talk. She's not a talker anyway, and even if she was, I know this is not the right time. But...I..." He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair, and felt some of his resolve, some of his happy-go-lucky impersonal facade slipping away. "Look, I already told you that I don't belong here."

"I beg to differ."

He huffed out a breath and paced to the other side of the room, while he could feel Jim's gaze on him, just waiting. "Jim, I don't...I already said I'll continue to visit. But like I said, I know my place now. I'm not going to butt into Kate's recovery unless I hear it from her. As it stands now, I shouldn't have even-"

"Rick, this is insane!" Rick was a little taken aback with the stern tone to the older man's words. "You shouldn't have helped her when she couldn't sleep? You shouldn't have held her hand and given her some tangible comfort to cling to? You shouldn't have been there, whenever she needed, giving her your love and comfort?" Now it was Jim's turn to run his hand through his hair as he paced around the room.

At the mention of the word 'love', Rick felt his heart constrict again. But apparently Jim wasn't finished. "Rick, I just don't get this! You were so torn up when she was shot, and like I said before, we could hardly get you to leave Katie's room. Not that I minded, for her, once I saw what having you there did for her. But then you left to get coffee and you didn't come back. Lanie said she saw you leaving that day and she said you looked like you'd seen a ghost. I've turned this over and over in my mind in the last couple of days, trying to understand how you could go from one extreme to the other so quickly. I don't understand it, Rick. So will you please explain it to me? Explain to me how you could seem to love my daughter more than your next breath one minute and then abandon her the next. And please, don't give me those BS answers about you not having a place here or you having some other things to take care of. I know that's not it. Please tell me...what happened?"

Rick sunk down in one of the chairs. He scrubbed his hands over his face. He'd just spent the last two days trying to get himself into a better place mentally, enough so that he'd at least be able to try to be around Kate again without the feeling of what he'd never have-her love-churning in his gut like rotten food. Somehow, in that small amount of time since she'd been shot and since he'd been with her almost constantly, he'd figured out that he'd been unconsciously getting his hopes up for something more to develop between them. Her response to him, how she wanted him there, how she looked to him for comfort, like Jim had said...he knew now that those things, coupled with the act of him actually voicing his own feelings for her, had pushed him to a dangerous place emotionally, where she held his heart in her hands and he couldn't do anything about it. But that heart had been figuratively dropped off a cliff when he'd heard her admission of love for the doctor. Still, since then, during his time at home and away from her, he thought he'd gotten himself back to a place where he could look at her and only be thankful that she was alive; that he'd managed to, once again, squash those feelings down to a place deep inside of him where nobody could see them.

But he hadn't counted on Jim. Kate, right now at least, he could handle. But Jim...now Rick knew where Kate got some of her tenacity, where she got her instinct. Jim was not letting this drop, and Rick was finding it more and more difficult to try to put the man off without having to say out loud what he was feeling and dredge up all of that soul-sucking emotion, and in the process sound like a complete and utter fool. Because he knew now that he was stupid. He was so incredibly stupid to think that he might ever have a chance with Kate.

But he knew that Jim wasn't going to take anymore vague stories. The man would see through it; there was no question. So Rick knew he would have to try some semblance of the truth, and he hoped that the version that he told Jim would be enough to not rip his already tenuous emotions to shreds, but would be enough to satisfy Jim.

"I..." he started. "Jim, Kate already has someone...special to her, at least in the way that you're talking about. And it's not...me. Not like that. So like I said, I'll be happy to stop by from time to time, and the offer is still on the table for whatever you or Kate might need, monetarily speaking."

Jim just shook his head. "Now we're getting somewhere, finally. But son, you are a hard man pin down. Did you have to take a course on evasion to be able to master it as well as you have?" He held up a hand. "No, don't answer that. I don't know how much more of it I can take. Straight talk, Rick. That's all I'm asking for. If not for me, then for Katie."

"Everything I do is for Kate," he said, the words slipping out before he could censor them. "Sorry," he said, shrugging.

"No, don't apologize. That's the most honest and forthright sentence I think I've heard you say in days. Now, you said Kate already has someone special to her, but it's not you. So tell me, Rick, who exactly is this mystery man that's making you all noble and pigheadedly stupid?"

Rick did a double-take at Kate's father's description of him. "Now I so know where she gets it from," he whispered. But then he shook his head. "Jim, her boyfriend. Josh. The doctor...you know. You...met him. We all met him," he added under his breath.

Jim looked confused. "Yes, I know who Josh is. Her ex. But why are you worried about Josh? He hasn't even been to see her...well, hardly at all."

And there, thought Rick, lay the crux of the problem, the proverbial knife that was turning in his back, the irony of the whole situation. She loved Josh, yet he couldn't even be bothered to come and see her. He shook his head in defeat, basically agreeing to what Jim had said about the doctor not having been around much. But then something else the Jim had said popped into the forefront of his mind. "Ex?" he asked Jim, puzzled, but at the same time, a little glimmer of hope flared to life inside his chest.

"The doctor?" Jim clarified. "Well, yeah..." Jim thought back to his conversation with Kate, days earlier, the one where she told him that Josh 'wasn't an issue'. She'd never technically said 'ex', but with what she did say, coupled with the fact that the man was never around...well, Jim thought that 'ex' about summed it up.

"As of when?" Rick just had to know, because the word 'ex' didn't really go with 'I love you, Josh.'

"I don't know...at least several days ago." At the older man's words, Rick did some mental calculations. Several days. So it sounded like maybe they'd broken up before the shooting, but then Kate realized her feelings for him and told him when she was barely strong enough to get the words out. Despite Rick's confession of love in the cemetery, which she obviously didn't remember, or probably just didn't want to think about. That she would go to that effort to tell him when she was in such dire condition spoke volumes. That small flicker of hope that had been inside him dimmed, and then extinguished itself. Rick nodded, but then didn't say anything.

"Well, a lot can happen in a few days," Rick told him dejectedly.

"Don't we all know it," Jim responded. Normally, it would have been kind of a joke, but now the statement fell flat with the seriousness of the conversation.

Feeling the need to escape once again so he could get a handle on his emotions, Rick rose abruptly out of the chair. "Well, I really need to go, so if that's-"

"No." Rick had no choice but to be impressed with the older man's reflexes as he jumped up and put a hand on Rick's arm to keep him from going anywhere. "Rick, I told you before that I would do anything for my daughter to see her get well, as I'm sure you would for your daughter. I know you love Katie. I just can't figure out why you won't-"

"She doesn't love me, okay, Jim?" he spat out, intensely and tragically, although in a soft voice, ever mindful of the hospital location. "And right now, that hurts. It hurts more than I ever thought it possibly could. I know I'm a guy and it shouldn't, but it does. Acknowledging the extent of my own feelings for her, feeling her blood on my hands, seeing her almost die..." He trailed off, getting a pained look in his eyes. "But when she lived, I was so thankful. I just wanted...her. And I started thinking that maybe, with some time, we could work toward... But I was wrong, okay? And you were too, if you thought she wanted me. She needs Josh...that's who she wants, that's who she needs and...loves." He said that last word with regret, as if it was almost physically painful for him to say. "Not me. So what you need to do is go find that doctor, and you need to give him the talking to that you just gave me. And you need to get him back here to be with Kate, give her what she deserves. Right now, I'm going to go get some coffee." He held up a hand in reassurance. "No, I'll be back, but I have to get myself together a little bit first. I won't even leave the hospital, I promise." And with that, he walked out the door, leaving Jim staring after him.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jim let himself into his daughter's room and found her eyes looking hopefully in his direction when he came through the door. But when she realized it was only him, he saw that all-too-familiar flash of disappointment when she realized that he was alone; that a certain someone wasn't there with him, as he had been when they left the room. "Hi, Dad," she said.

"Hi, Sweetheart." He leaned over and gave her a kiss on her forehead, briefly leaning his hand on the bed, where it came into contact with the blue blanket that Rick had brought her. He sat lightly on the side of her bed and stared at her intently. "Katie, we need to talk."

"Dad?" The question was there in her word...'what is this about?'

"Katie, what's your relationship with the doctor...Josh?"

She furrowed her eyebrows at him. That was not what she was expecting to hear come out of his mouth. "Josh? What? Josh and I...I guess we're friends...now. Kind of. He helped save my life...and I'll always be grateful to him for that."

"But...Katie, I know you're an adult, and you don't have to report to me or anything like that. So, forgive me for asking this, but do you love him?"

Love Josh? What? Kate looked at her father, wondering what he was talking about, wondering if she either needed another dose of pain meds, or maybe she was hitting them too heavy. Because she couldn't make sense of her father's question. "Love...Josh? You mean...?" Jim nodded. "Like that...well, no. Dad? What...is this about?" She thought it strange to be having this conversation with her dad. This was more...girlfriend talk, or something. It wasn't dad/daughter talk, at least for them.

At her negative answer, Jim let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "That's what I thought. Katie, like I said before when we tried to have this conversation, this is strange." She smiled a little, thinking of how he'd just echoed her thoughts with his words. "But I want you to get well. You gave me quite a scare, Katie-bug."

The use of her old nickname took her back a few decades, and she had a brief flash of how she felt when she was a little girl. "I know, dad." She might have been in a lot of pain and asleep a lot, but she was lucid enough to see the stress in her father's face over the last several days. "I'm sorry."

"No, Katie, I'm not trying to get you to apologize. I'm trying to tell you that when I was so scared, I wasn't alone. I had someone with me who was just as torn up as I was. And it wasn't Josh."

She nodded because she knew who he was referring to with his comments, but she didn't say anything, so he forged on. "He's a good one, you know?" She nodded again. "But right now, that man is thinking that you don't want him around because you're madly in love with that doctor."

"What?" she asked, a little too suddenly and the wound in her chest pulled a little bit. She took some deep breaths until the pain subsided as she lightly pressed her hand near her wound, and then she continued in a soft voice. "Dad, Josh and I...broke up. Why would he think that I was...that I felt like that?" For some reason, she couldn't phrase it the way her father had, with that certain 'L' word. "Josh hasn't really even been around, well, except the one time a few days ago." Her voice, even though she was speaking more evenly now, still sounded tired and just a little bit hoarse.

"I don't know, honey. But Rick...he's torn up. We just talked, and I can tell you, that man is a master with his words. I can see why he's been on the bestseller list so many times. Do you know how long I had to go around and around with him before he would tell me that much?"

"I can...imagine."

"Finally he let loose and he told me to go get Josh and tell him to be here for you, because he's the one you love, and you need him here. He said he's in the way, he said it's not 'his place' to be here with you. Personally, I think that's a bunch of bull, but as God is my witness, that's what that man believes, no matter how much I tried to convince him otherwise. But Katie, you have to tell me, right now. Do you want Josh? Because if he is and he's not here, then by God I'm going to find out why the hell he's not."

She felt the tears welling in her eyes. Between her normally detached father offering to go 'Daddy-bear' on her ex-boyfriend, and what he was saying about Castle, she had so much emotion in her throat that she almost couldn't speak. But she managed to utter the single syllable, "No."

Jim closed his eyes. Okay, so he wasn't so off-base about things. That was a place to start. He opened them to find tears swimming in his daughter's eyes. "Tell me, Katie."

She tried to take some deep breaths to calm herself, but he knew they were painful for her. Finally, she spoke. "Castle...he was my constant for those first few days. He was here, Dad, and then he just...wasn't." He could read between the lines. Finally, she was admitting that she missed him, that she'd looked for him and wondered about him during those days when he was absent. They'd all asked her about him, if she wanted them to call him, and she'd insisted that she didn't. But now she was finally admitting that she was affected by his absence.

"I know. And I tried to ask him why he left and stayed away, but he wouldn't say much."

But then her face morphed into a horrified expression. "Oh, God, Dad, tell me...you didn't give him the third degree or something?"

"Hey, you're in no shape to do it, and I had to see what I could find out. And I had to know for myself. For him to be here almost constantly to just...leaving? I wanted to know too." He shrugged, in an attempt to lighten the mood and explain his usually dormant fatherly interference. "Katie, it was obvious that you needed him, even though you wouldn't admit it." She nodded slightly, letting those words hang in the air for a few moments.

"So..." she almost didn't want to ask the question, lest she sound too eager, but she had to. "Is he here?"

Jim smiled. "He said he went to get coffee, but he promised he-"

Jim was interrupted by a quiet knock on the door, and a brown head peeking through the opening. "Would there happen to be any detectives in here who might be up for a visitor?" Rick asked jovially as he stuck his head through the opening that the door made.

Kate chuckled a bit, with most of her being simply very relieved to see him. "Yeah...come on, Castle. Come in and take a load off." She looked down and tried to furiously blink her eyes to hopefully rid them of any residual moisture.

Rick came into the room and sat down, setting two coffee cups on the bedside table. "I took the liberty of getting you your usual, Detective. I know you can't drink very much of it, but I thought maybe a little sip of your beverage of choice might taste good."

At the start of his explanation when she realized that one of the cups was for her, she pursed her lips together, trying to hold in the emotion that suddenly swamped her from that normal little act that he'd done for her countless times before that bullet ripped into her chest. It was normal gesture for them then, but now it was so much more. He was now here again, after his relatively long absence, and he brought her usual coffee. Her dad's words popped into her mind again..."he's a good one, you know?" And thinking of that, her lips curved into a little smile and she said softly, "Thanks, Rick."

Just hearing her call him by his first name sent a little jolt through him. But he schooled his response and just smiled back at her. "Anytime, Detective."

Jim's words interrupted their locked gazes as he cleared his throat and then bent over his daughter to give her a kiss on her cheek. "I'm going to go grab something to eat before my stomach starts rumbling. And then I think I may run home and...water my plants." Kate wanted to roll her eyes at her dad. Water his plants? She didn't think he even owned a houseplant. Could he be more obvious?" Rick, you'll stay with her until I get back?" The words were said casually enough, but there was an undercurrent, more like a dare from the older man to the younger one, like Jim was warning him, "Don't you dare run away again. You stay here, young man."

Rick blinked at his unspoken pseudo-threat, but then nodded. "Sure. I'm sure your daughter can keep me entertained with the antics of the hospital staff. I really want to know if there's any truth to what happens on General Hospital," he joked.

"Yeah, right," Kate muttered, scoffing at a soap opera being in the least bit realistic.

"Hey, they have to base it on something, right? So some of it is probaby true!" Rick argued good-naturedly. And when Jim saw the bantering, he knew that his daughter was in good hands, and that his message to not leave had been heard by Rick. So with a quick wave of his hand, he was out the door and the two were alone for the first time in several days.

Castle sat down, and then they just looked at each other for several moments, neither of them saying a word. Then he remembered the coffee, and he turned toward the table with a casual, "Oh, almost forgot" comment. Grabbing her small coffee, he snatched the straw out of a water cup and stuck it into the small opening in the cup. He held it out to her and she attempted a glare.

"A straw, Castle? In coffee? Really?"

She still sounded tired, but the slight challenge, the slight annoyance that was pure Beckett was there. She was only giving him a little bit of grief, because that was what they did with each other. But being on edge the way he was over the last few days, his face lost the smile, as if he thought he'd committed some unspeakable sin. Her dad was right...something had changed with him. She raised an eyebrow and tried to smile just a bit to let him know she wasn't really mad, and it seemed to do the trick.

He visibly relaxed a bit when he saw the look on her face. "Well, isn't it some sort of rule that if you're in the hospital, and you drink something, you have to drink it through a bendy straw?" he quipped, although somewhat cautiously.

As if they were both puppets, both of their gazes traveled to a bedside table where there were three cups with various drinks in them, all containing bendy straws. They looked back at each other, and Castle then raised his eyebrow at Kate. "You might...have something there," she said, trying to stifle a yawn. But still, she took a sip of the coffee that he held out for her, bringing her lips to the straw. When the warm liquid hit her tongue, she swallowed it slowly and let out a little sound of pleasure. "Oh, Castle, you don't know how good that tastes." And she grabbed the straw for another sip.

"How much can you have?" He figured a sip or two wouldn't hurt, but she'd now taken the cup from him and seemed to be enjoying it. And the last thing he wanted to do was to get her sick from the coffee if she wasn't supposed to be drinking it.

"I think this is okay. I don't know about...the caffeine though," she admitted

"It's decaf. I didn't think caffeine would be a good thing when you need your sleep to help you heal."

She was touched by his thoughtfulness, not just at bringing her favorite coffee, but at making sure it was decaf. But at the same time, she was amazed at what he said. "Decaf? I hate decaf. But that's...so good."

"Probably because you haven't had it in a while. You just missed it, so it's good even if it's not quite the same."

She nodded and handed the cup back to him after taking one more drink. Thinking about what he said, she mumbled, "Kind of like you," as she laid her head back against the pillow.

He looked up, wondering if he'd heard her correctly. "Me?"

She looked at him through tired eyes. He could see her strength was fading; she needed some rest. But first, she answered his question. "You," she confirmed. "I haven't...seen you in a while. And you don't seem quite the same either."

He wasn't, he thought ruefully. Part of him wanted to be right where he was, by her, like always, but the other part just wanted to run. But when she continued, he almost felt his heart skip a beat. "And I missed you," she said softly, but still looking directly at him.

"I..." he didn't know what to say. Kate had missed him? And she just admitted to him that she'd missed him? "But you-" He couldn't get any more out before she suddenly coughed a few times and then tiredly leaned her head back into the pillow. "You need some sleep," he told her, totally avoiding the previous topic, but also knowing that she wasn't ready for a discussion like that now anyway.

She nodded. "I still...get tired quickly. Hate it."

"It helps you heal. Go to sleep, Kate. You don't have to try to stay awake to talk to me."

"But..." she started, but then looked hesitant.

"What?"

"The last time you were here, I was...going to take a nap, but you left and you...never came back, Castle." Her words were spoken softly, but even so, they were still intense, and there was a level of hurt layering the words.

Hearing her, his stomach hurt a little bit, knowing that with his actions he'd caused her distress. But still he wondered why she cared, why she would exhibit that level of hurt, when she had Josh. Even though Josh wasn't there much. But he could think about that, ruminate over it later. "Sorry, I was...well, never mind. You just get some rest, okay?"

"Will you stay?"

He froze at her words. His eyes whipped back to hers, thinking that she couldn't have possibly just said that; it was what he'd just told Jim he'd needed to hear. He'd told Jim that he needed her to ask him to stay. And she just did. He could hardly believe it, because really, when he told Jim that, he thought there would be no way that she'd ever ask him. He thought that would be his out, the way to save his sanity, his justification that he wouldn't have to spend more time around someone he loved, watching her while he knew she loved someone else.

But now she had; she'd asked him to stay. Point blank, no subtlety. She'd asked him to stay.

And he looked into her tired but beautiful eyes after he heard those three words, and he couldn't deny her. He'd conditionally promised Jim, and that condition had been met. "Yes, I'll stay while you sleep."

"You'll stay here? In the room?" she clarified.

"Yes."

"And after...I wake up?"

"Then...I guess we'll have to have a long conversation about what's General-Hospital-worthy around here and what's not. I did tell your dad that's what we'd be talking about, after all."

She gave him a weak smile. "Cas-uh, Rick?"

He gave a small start at the mention of his first name again. "What?"

She held up her hand. "Hold my hand for a little while?"

He looked down at the hand that she was offering him like it was some sort of alien object. Who was this Beckett, and why did she want him here? He couldn't help wondering, after hearing her words to Josh replay in his head hundreds of times in the last couple of days. But when it came right down to it, he wasn't going to argue, and if she wanted it, he wasn't going to refuse her. He loved her; he didn't know if he could refuse her anything. But before he took her hand, he reached for a chair and brought it close to her bed. "Not a problem," he said as he curled his fingers around hers and settled into the chair. And with a murmured "thanks" and another small smile, she was off to dreamland, while Castle sat by the bed, holding her hand and watching her.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

She woke up about 90 minutes later. Rick never let go of her hand during that time. He shifted around a bit to make himself more comfortable, but he stil kept hold of her hand. When she woke up, her eyes blinked open a few times as she reoriented herself with where she was. Then he could see when she remembered, because she jerked her head toward the side where Rick was, and her eyes found his. He felt her squeeze his hand just a little, and then, as if she realized that he was really indeed still there, a light little smile formed on her face before she said sleepily, "Rick...you're here."

"Yes, I am. I promised," he said, shrugging. And that's what it boiled down to...he said he would be there, and he was. And there she was, using his first name again.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He saw her eyes flicker when he said that, and he wondered if it was as strange for her to not hear the standard 'always' response as it was for him not to give it.

He helped her sit up a little more in the bed, and he also helped her take a few sips of water. They spoke a little while they were doing that, but when it all was done, Rick sank back into the chair and just looked at Kate, not sure of what he should say. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Kate was the one who spoke instead.

"I broke up...with Josh."

Well, that came out of nowhere. And if he was frozen before when she asked him to stay with her while she slept, well then now...now he was frozen so cold that he was brittle like glass, like that chef that had been murdered with the liquid nitrogen. He didn't feel like he could breathe, let alone move. He just stared at her, and she stared back at him. Finally, he felt like he needed to say something.

"Oh. Uh...okay." Eloquent, Castle, really eloquent, he thought. "Uh, when?"

"Before the...funeral."

He looked down. She confirmed basically what Jim had said, what he'd managed to piece together. She'd broken up with him, but then, based on what he'd heard, she'd had a change of heart after her ordeal gotten back together with him. "Okay." Then because the silence in the room was somewhat overpowering, he added, "I guess life-changing experiences like bullets and hospital stays really make you rethink your choices sometimes, huh?"

Kate looked at him, clearly not following what he was saying. She knew Castle went off on tangents sometimes, but usually she could follow them. But at that moment, she was totally clueless. And even in her drugged, weakened state, she didn't much enjoy feeling clueless. "Castle, did you take some of my...pain meds? Because if you didn't, I'm not following you at all, and...I'm not in any condition to play word games with you. So what...are you talking about?"

"You...and Josh." He still hated saying the guy's name.

"Yeah. We broke up...like I told you. I...thought you should know." She felt a little sheepish and guilty finally admitting that to him, so many days later after his heartfelt confession to her.

"But then you...got back together," he said softly. As soon as he said it, he instantly regretted saying it. It was none of his business. "I'm sorry. It's really none of my concern, and-"

"Castle?" The softly spoken word interrupted him, and the brows knitted together in puzzlement.

"Yes?"

"Stop...babbling. It's tiring. Josh and I are...done. Okay?"

She made it sound so final. But why... "But you love him." The words just flowed from his mouth of their own volition, and he couldn't stop them. He hadn't meant to say that at all; it was in his thoughts, of course-it had been for the last few days-but as soon as he heard the words come out of his mouth, he reached up and clamped a hand over his mouth like a child who had just given away a big secret.

Kate's eyes widened at those words, which basically confirmed what her dad had been trying to tell her. She shook her head as she started to say, "Castle, I-"

She was interrupted by a knock at the door, and in bustled a nurse pushing a cart with a bunch of medical paraphanalia on it. "Hello, Ms. Beckett. Time to check your vitals and see how your wound dressings are." The nurse turned to Rick. "Sir, I'll have to ask you to step out for a bit. If you wait in the waiting room, we can come and get you when we're through."

Rick nodded, and his eyes met Kate's. She didn't look happy with the interruption. Part of him wasn't either, but part of him was ecstatic to not have to talk about Josh anymore. Taking a risk, he reached down and squeezed her hand, telling her, "We'll talk in a bit, if you're still up to it."

"You won't leave?" she confirmed, and he felt like kind of a heel because she even felt the need to ask. But he supposed he deserved that.

"No, I won't leave."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Twenty minutes later, he walked back into the room. She was laying there, looking tired again. She looked up when she saw him, and smiled, holding out her hand. "Thanks for coming back."

"I told you I would," he said, grabbing her hand and giving it a little squeeze.

"Yeah...well, just wanted to make sure." She looked a little unsure of what she wanted to say, but then she just blurted it out. "Why did you leave...before...and not come back until today?" she asked softly as he sat down in the chair again.

He looked down. He tried to formulate a non-response like he'd tried with Jim, even though it hadn't worked so well for him then. It was just that he'd spent the lion's share of the last few days hashing this out in his own mind, and it still killed part of him to think about talking about it again, out loud, with the one person who was inadvertently the cause of all of his angst. "I just realized that I was kind of...in the way, and that you had...other people that had more of a right to be with you."

"My dad was here, and you were here. And you two...are the only ones who I wanted around, regularly, anyway." She let that sink in for a moment, and because he didn't seem to have any change in expression, she went for the big guns; she brought up the topic they'd been talking about before the nurse came. "Castle...Josh...I don't love him. Not the way I...think you mean. I don't know why-"

And for the second time in less than an hour, Rick's vocal cords overtook his brain with amazing speed as he blurted out what he had never, ever intended to say aloud. "But I heard you say it!" And then when he realized that he had indeed said it aloud, he inhaled quickly and smacked his lips together, hoping against hope that she hadn't heard him, but realizing that was a futile hope as her eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up.

"What? You heard... God, Castle, how could you...hear that, when I never said it?" she asked him. "And when?" When he made no move to do anything except stare at her uncomfortably, she laid her head back on her pillow and closed her eyes. "Castle, I can't...use brute force on you, but...I know people. Tell me...now. When?"

"That day I left," he admitted uncomfortably. "He was visiting you, and I'd gone to get coffee..."

"You eavesdropped?" she asked with some amount of censure to her words.

"No! I was just coming back into your room, but I stopped in the doorway because I heard someone there with you. And then I realized it was...Josh, and then before I could leave again, I heard it."

"Heard what?" Even though she still sounded weak, she still sounded well enough to be exasperated with him.

"You said you loved him."

She might be drugged up, she might have been a lot weaker then, but she knew she didn't say that. Because she'd never said those words to Josh, and she didn't say them to any man lightly. "No, I didn't," she protested.

"Yes, you did," he countered automatically. Then he realized he was getting into a back-and-forth argument with a woman who had just been shot in the chest. "Damn...I'm sorry, Kate. We shouldn't be talking about this now. You need to rest."

"Shut up, Castle. What did you hear me say? Because I...never said that to him."

"Kate..." he pleaded, wanting her to drop the subject.

"No. Tell me."

He knew that even in her weakened state, she was still the same old stubborn Beckett underneath, and she wouldn't drop it until she got what she wanted. So he took a deep breath and said, "I got the impression that there was someone else in the room, and I opened the door just a little bit and I noticed Josh. And before I could leave, I heard you say 'I love you, Josh'. Okay? It's pretty straightforward. There's not much that could be misinterpreted about that. And I know I wasn't imagining it. You said it. Now, can we drop this? You need your rest and I shouldn't...this isn't good for you, okay? Maybe I should go."

She stared at him incredulously through his recounting of what he remembered, but when he got to the point about leaving, she reached out on reflex and grabbed his arm and said "No!" But her quick movement pulled at her wound and she gasped in pain, which had Rick jumping out of the chair and taking her gently by the shoulders. She clutched at his arm while she tried to control her breathing and let the pain subside back into the usual dull ache. Finally, she relaxed back into the pillows a bit, saying "That's a...little better now," but didn't relinquish her hold on his arm. He couldn't go anywhere, so he sat gently on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry."

"Not...your fault. Just...moved wrong. Just...don't leave, 'kay?"

"Okay." He'd promise her anything if it would take away the pain, or not cause her any more.

She closed her eyes and just let her breathing return to normal as she thought back to that conversation with Josh. She remembered it somewhat; she remembered discussing Castle with Josh, him asking if they'd broken up because of the author. And she admitted that she had some feelings for him, and she told Josh that...oh, God. No. She knew. She remembered. Rick had heard what she said to Josh, but he didn't realize that it wasn't about Josh... He'd gotten it totally out of context, which was actually kind of ironic, considering he was an author. Oh, what a mess!

"What?" Castle's single word made her open her eyes to find him looking at her with concern. "You were laying there, but then you started shaking your head. Are you having more pain?"

"No. Just remembering...realizing that you have really...bad timing." She smiled at him and shook her head again, almost in disbelief.

"I'm sorry I eavesdropped. I didn't mean to, really. And then I left right afterwards."

"Castle, the next time...you decide to listen to a private...conversation, listen to enough of it so you don't get it...all wrong, okay?"

Now it was his turn to look puzzled. "Huh?" he asked.

She took another couple of deep breaths. Damn, why did she have to get tired so easily? But she had to put this in the right way, because she knew that admitting these next words were important...these words would change their relationship. "I wasn't telling that to Josh. I was only repeating to Josh what I heard you say to me right after I was shot."

She was watching him, and she could see his eyes go black with intensity, and she could feel him stiffen as he realized what she meant. "Me?" he squeaked.

"You," she confirmed.

"Not to Josh?" he asked, needing more confirmation, especially after the last couple of days.

"No. Your words."

"You...you did hear me," he said softly, recovering some of his voice. "I didn't know."

She managed to raise her hand up to his shoulder for more contact, even though it was difficult. "Rick, you were the only thing I could hear then. The only thing I could focus on. I couldn't talk, and I could..."she closed her eyes, remembering the bad memories. "I could feel the fire in my chest, like someone had stuck burning coals inside of me. But I looked at you, and I could hear you, and you gave me something good to focus on. Seeing you...hearing what you said, it made it all...a little better."

He hung his head and took a deep breath of his own. She'd heard. He was never sure. He figured if she did remember, they'd talk about it at some future time...or maybe not, knowing them. But he never imagined it would be now, like this. He looked back into her dark eyes. "Um...you're not...uh, mad. How...uh, are you okay with that?" he stammered. "With what I said?"

Her gaze didn't waver from his, but she didn't answer right away. But finally, she nodded slightly, saying, "Yeah. But..."

She could feel him go tense again at her 'but', so she plowed on. "I can't...get into anything...not yet. I have to...recover...and there's the case."

"That's a lot," he agreed.

"But..." she started again, "will you stay with me? I know it's not...fair to ask you, but..." she squeezed her eyes shut, and he could see her trying to control herself. When she opened them, they were tear-filled, but she looked straight at him. "I need you, Rick." He knew Kate, and he knew what that admission had cost her. He couldn't stand her emotion, and he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead and then hugged her gently to him. "Shhh...Shhh..."

She pulled back though, after a minute, and realizing that he never answered her question, asked simply, "Rick?"

He wanted to blindly promise her anything, but he knew that he couldn't do that. They both had to be able to give or nothing between them would work. "Kate, the last few days have been pure hell for me, thinking...well you know what I thought. And you know how I felt. But as much as I...as much as what I said is true, I can't just...Kate," he said, finally taking another breath, "I need you too. So much. But I need to know that you'll give us a shot, even if it's not right now. Because I can't..." he shook his head, "I don't think I can sit around anymore and watch you hook up with someone else down the road. Not after everything that's happened recently."

As she looked at him and heard the pain and uncertainty in his words, she felt more tears fill her eyes. "No, there's...nobody else. There won't be. When I'm ready to...try a relationship...with someone, it'll be...you. If you want that?"

When he heard her halting words, he felt like angels were probably singing hallelujahs on clouds somewhere above the hospital. They had to be, because she'd just said she'd give him-them-a chance. And that was everything.

"If I want that..." he had to pause, to swallow roughly over the emotion that was in his throat again. "Oh, yeah. I want that."

As if on cue, slight smiles appeared on both of their faces then, and by mutual unspoken agreement, he leaned forward and brought her against his chest in a gentle embrace, where they stayed until they were both too stiff to stay that way anymore.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

When Jim came back that evening, he wasn't really sure what he was expecting to find in his daughter's room. But whatever it was, he was pretty sure that he'd never expected to find what amounted to a slumber party of sorts.

He walked back into the room, and he stopped short when he saw the author sitting on Kate's bed with her. He had one of his arms around her, behind her back, and he was writing something on a notepad that he had propped on his bent leg. "Cassandra would never be caught dead...wearing that to work," Kate told him, with a hint of good-natured annoyance in her voice.

"Of course she would. Because then handsome Dr. Garrett would finally notice her," Rick argued. He looked up then and saw Jim standing there. "Hi, Jim!" he said, greeting him with a big smile.

"Am I...interrupting something?" Jim asked.

"Not at all. Your daughter was bored so I suggested that she collaborate with me to write a soap opera. We're just going over characterizations and plot points now." He looked at Kate. "Tell your Dad what the name of it is."

"No way. I haven't agreed to that," she protested.

"Spoilsport." He addressed Jim again. "I think we should call it Beckle General. Get it? Beckett and Castle...Beckle? Because we're writing it together? I even gave her first billing, because the other way around turned out to be 'Caskett', and she said that sounded way too gruesome and it would go out of business because it had a really bad connotation. I did see her point though. So what do you think, Jim?"

Jim was amazed at the transformation of the two other people in the room since he'd seen them last. Rick was tortured, sullen, broken up, yet still devoted to Katie. Now that devotion was obviously still there, but whatever had happened before had obviously been fixed now. And his Katie? There was some of that light back in her eyes that hadn't been there since Rick left. And she was totally relaxed against the man. He didn't know what had happened, but whatever it was, it was good.

But Rick was still waiting for a response to his question, so Jim just said, "Sounds like it's quite a project. Might take some time to get all of those ideas and characters fleshed out."

"Well," Rick said with a wink toward Jim that Kate couldn't see, "then we'll have something to work on during Kate's recovery, as she heals and gets her strength back." And with that wink and explanation, Jim knew for sure that Rick would be sticking around. Probably for a very long time.

"I can get my...strength back...so I can shoot you if you try to...make Cassandra look like Nurse Slutty," Kate interjected, trying to sound annoyed over him taking over the character she had suggested.

Jim looked at the two of them and shook his head with some amount of wonder. If someone was tailor-made for his daughter, it was this man. Then he had an idea. "Hey, are you two okay for a little bit?" They looked up at him absently and nodded, and then Rick pointed at something on the paper and they were back in their own little world. So Jim walked back out the door, wondering if he'd be able to find a bakery open.

Because he wanted to buy a cake. He figured they all had something to celebrate.

-END-

That's it...I truly hope you enjoyed it. I'll apologize again for making you wait so long for the resolution.

I know she didn't admit that she loved him, nor are they 'officially' together. But I thought this was more realistic, and it shows some hope. She still has to heal, and she has a lot of thinking to do. But it helps that she now knows what he feels, which is what they never got around to during their argument in Knockout, because he sidestepped the question. And I wanted to have him put her on the spot, just a bit, so everything isn't always on him. She needed to give him a glimmer of hope for 'them' especially after all they went through. And I think with this chapter, I elevated Jim to elite shipper status!

So I'd love to hear from you...if you liked the ending, or even if you hated it. Too long and drawn out? I thought about putting into two chapters, but I promised only one more, so I wanted to keep that promise. All comments will be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks for reading!