The Arrival of the SOS Brigade

Disclaimer: I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or Durarara. If I did own them, this would be the actual show, not a fanfic…and that would just be hella weird…

"I have come up with a great idea for a fantastic field trip!" Haruhi announced slamming open the club room door forcing it to smack against the wall hard enough to create a hole. Asahina-san went a little pale at the sight as she inspected it. Honestly did she always have to just barge into a room so…forcefully?

"A field-trip sounds like fun." Koizumi spoke up smiling a little at me before turning it to the loud girl standing proudly in front of everyone. "What's the goal?"

Haruhi smiled suddenly pulling out a map…where did she get that (?) and pointed to Tokyo. Or rather, a section of Tokyo. The section known as Ikebukuro and a section that had been on the news recently due to a rather large amount of gang crime.

"We're going to Ikebukuro to inspect something that I've actually been investigating on my own for awhile!" She excitedly pushed my chair away from the computer where I'd previously been checking the hits to our website, something she forces me to do at least once a week, more if we take Asahina-san out in public with her in one of her costumes. "So I've heard that lately in Ikebukuro there has been sightings of a black motorcyclist, who rumor has it is headless! It was nothing more then an urban legend, that was why I didn't investigate it too deeply before." So she still investigated it? "But get this…!"

I rolled myself back over to look over her shoulder as she brought up a video from the internet. Wait…wasn't that sight banned in this school? How the hell did she manage…no wait…I'm not even going to bother questioning that.

"Just a couple weeks ago, someone posted this video. There was this big meeting of some kind of color gang or something, and the headless rider showed up. And watch!" She pointed to the screen as the person on the bike dressed in black, with a yellow helmet started fighting a few guys. And then suddenly its helmet got knocked off and there I saw it. No head. "We're going to go to Ikebukuro and find this person!"

"Hey, y'know there's been a lot of gang activity in that area lately. It might not be safe to go there just to investigate a headless person." Especially when a video like that was most likely faked.

"KYON!" She turned to me pointing her finger close enough to my face to make me go cross eyed for a moment. "We are the SOS Brigade! And that means a little potential danger shouldn't be a problem! For the sake of our fans…" What fans? Does she mean Asahina-san's fans? "We must be brave and go to Ikebukuro in search of the headless rider!"

Izaya took a moment to yawn before stepping out of the way of the oncoming car door. That was new…he blinked at it before looking over at the person who'd thrown it at him. "Ah~! Shizu-chan! What can I do for you?"

"You can die, that'd be a start." Shizuo replied with a slight sneer.

"So mean!" The raven replied dodging a vending machine that had been conveniently placed nearby. Whoever invented these machines obviously had little care for the wellbeing of anyone who dare piss off the crazy blonde man.

Oh if the opportunity arose, Izaya decided he was just going to kill Shizuo quickly. Doing it slowly and having to deal with him longer then he really wanted too did not (for once) sound like fun. Izaya laughed a little bit as he ran away from that area while he had the chance. He didn't want to risk the man actually getting in a hit.

Things have been too boring lately. Life needed a little…spicing up. Good thing he considered himself to be good at that.

Haruhi bounced off the train dragging Asahina-san along behind her. She waited somewhat impatiently for Koizumi, Nagato-san and I to catch up with her where she'd managed to lean against a wall to avoid running into the busy looking people.

"Alright everyone! Our first order of business is to spilt up into groups and investigate! We'll meet at the West Gate Park before nightfall and head to our hotel!"

"Hotel?" I asked. "We're staying overnight?"

"Did I forget to mention that?" She asked.

"Yes!"

"Whoops!" She smiled. "Anyway, Kyon I want you to work with Itsuki-"

"Hey are you listening to me! This is serious, what about my family?"

"-Mikuru-chan you can work with Nagato, and I'll work alone. Isn't that sweet of me, since I'm so much more experienced then the rest of you, I'm letting you work in groups."

Being sweet, would've at least involved you telling me we were spending the night. I don't have the money to pay for a hotel…

"Don't worry too much about it, Kyon." Koizumi said as soon as Haruhi had run off in her own direction. "My treat!" He added with a smile.

I sighed at that. "Thanks."

"After all, I figured you wouldn't have enough anyway."

"Hey, that's an insult!"

He laughed at me before pointing east. "How about we go that way?"

It's as good as any. I shrugged and followed him towards the exit finally getting above ground. The place was amazing. People walked down the streets in every direction, it was still early, before lunch on a holiday so there was quite a few people out too. Mostly in groups.

"We're not really going to investigate the headless rider right?" I asked Koizumi after a moment of just taking in the sight.

"Why not?" He asked. "After all if this headless rider is real (and it could be if Haruhi really wanted it), we have to make sure Haruhi doesn't meet it. It could spell a whole world of trouble if she actually meets a headless person."

I sighed in agreement knowing exactly what he meant. "Fine, where do we start?"

"I guess Suzumiya's suggestion is as good as any. We can just ask around maybe, pretend we're doing a survey or something."

I watched a group of rough looking guys walk by us talking amongst themselves about something I really didn't understand. "Hey, you think Asahina-san and Nagato-san will be alright-" I stopped myself then remembering some of the things I've seen Nagato-san do. They're probably safer then me.

"There's a couple over there." Koizumi pointed out taking a notebook and pencil out of his bag and handing it to Kyon. "I'll ask and you take notes."

Why did I have to be the one to take notes? I groaned but took the notebook anyway following him over to where the young couple was walking. They didn't look any older then us actually.

"Excuse me. Do you mind if we ask you some questions for a survey?" He got their attention the two looking at us the male a little blankly but the girl with an…odd looking scar on her neck blinked and smiled at us.

"Of course!" The girl exclaimed. "Is this about love, because of course Seiji-kun and I know all about that?"

"Actually it's about the headless rider." Koizumi replied.

…"Oh…" Her enthusiasm died down a little, but she still seemed eager to take part in our "survey."

"I was wondering if you've ever seen it?"

"Of course I have. She's goes around town a lot on her bike. If you stick around long enough you might actually see her! Right Seiji-kun?"

The guy with her nodded and smiled at her. "Well if you want to see her, she goes out a lot around sunset and later."

Koizumi smiled at them. "Thank you. And sorry for disturbing your date."

"It's no problem!" The girl replied. "An intrusion like this cannot stop true love!"

"Now wasn't that weird." He commented as soon as the two had walked away from us.

"Yea, I get the feeling Haruhi's gonna love it here." I added dreading the rest of the day and possibly tomorrow too depending on her mood. Speaking of I really needed to call home and tell them what was going on.

"Ah~!"

Mikado stopped in his tracks recognizing that noise as the "I JUST FOUND A TOTALLY HOT BABE MIKADO!" signal. "No." He replied grabbing his friend's hood before the blonde could even try approaching them and dragging him along with him.

"NO! Mikado you don't understand!" The blonde wrenched himself free grabbing the raven's shoulders and forcing him to turn around to see the two girls he'd been talking about.

"So?" He asked looking him in the eye in question and grabbing at his sleeve to stop him from getting away just in case.

Masaomi sighed and tsked at him. "Honestly Mi~ka~do~ are you so lovestruck for Anri-chan that you can't even see a hot babe when she's right in front of you? I totally wanna talk to them! And look! There's two~ of~ them~! That's one. For. You. And. One. For. Me!"

"Not happening."

"Just drinks?"

"No."

"Mikado!"

"I said no!"

"B-but-"

"E-excuse me…" They stopped their argument to look over at the girl who had addressed them. Mikado thought he saw his friend literally melting at that. No girls ever approached them; it was more like Masaomi scared them off with his lame jokes and even lamer pick-up lines. Mikado did admit she was cute though, with long brown hair, cute big and innocent eyes and…he stopped his thought process before he started to think like Masaomi. "I'm sorry to interrupt, b-but…um…my name is Asahina Mikuru, a-and this is…Nagato Yuki." She was of course talking about the other girl that was with her this one with short silver hair and bored looking eyes.

"Aha~!" Masaomi smiled at them breaking free from his friend. "I'm Kida Masaomi, and this shy-looking young man is Ryugamine Mikado!"

"P-pleased to meet you!" The girl replied bowing a little. "Um…we were wandering i-if you'd answer a f-few questions?"

"About what?" Mikado asked speaking up to the girls for the first time.

"We are collecting data on the thing known as the headless rider." Nagato spoke up. She looked for a moment like she was just spacing out, or that could've just been the complete lack of emotion in her eyes. "Anything you may know would be…taken into account?"

The boys blinked at her. Okay she was a little weird.

"Um…I'd like to help, but I don't know much about it." Masaomi offered. "I mean it's kinda an urban legend, and well I know that the bike's silent and the rider goes around with no lights. Oh, but sometimes it neighs."

"N-neighs?" Mikuru asked.

"Like a horse." Mikado added noticing that the smaller silver haired girl was staring at him. He gave her a questioning glance but she just continued to stare at him in silence.

"Is that all the data you've collected?" She asked finally still looking hard at Mikado.

The raven glanced at his friend who was at this point attempting to get the poor brunette girl to hang out with them. "Uh…I guess?"

Yuki looked over at the blonde trying to work out what that glace had meant. Humans were complicated. "Oh." The answer seemed to strike her suddenly and she hit a fist to her other hand in realization. "You're hiding what you know from your friend…"
"N-Nagato-san?" Mikado blinked at her shocked.

"Do not worry; he is not paying attention to us." She informed him.

"I'm sorry, Nagato-san, but I don't think it'd be right of me to give out any information on Celty without her permission."

"Ah, so the headless rider is female and her name is Celty?" She repeated. "Thank you that was very helpful."

He couldn't believe himself, had he really just let that slip like that? Well…crap… "I'm not saying anything else."

"Alright." She agreed finally before looking at her friend who was still talking to Masaomi. "We'll move on."

"O-ok." Mikuru agreed before bowing to the two boys. "Thank you for your help!" With that she hurried to catch up to her strange silver haired friend before she ran away.

"Damn…and I was this close to getting her to agree to get drinks with us!" Masaomi whined throwing his arm around his friend suddenly. "What's up with you dude? You look like you just saw the apocalypse."

"R-really?" Mikado asked with a small nervous laugh. "That'd actually be pretty frightening. Can we go home now?"

"Mikado~ are you offering to take me home? How bold!"

"That is so not what I meant." The raven deadpanned. "And I'm going to start deducting points every time you make a horrible joke."

"What do you mean horrible? I thought it was great!" Words were lost he realized since his friend was already walking away from him. "Mikado!"

"You're late!" Haruhi announced when Koizumi and I joined the girls who were already waiting at the park.

"We were all the way across town-"

"And as your punishment, DINNER IS ON KYON!"

…

I had no words. No words left to describe just how much I hated life right now. The five of us walked down the street while I examined the money in my wallet. Well, I should have enough to pay, but I'll have no money left for anything else, like the train ride home!

"Nagato suggested that we not tell Haruhi what we learned today on the off-chance that the headless rider is actually real." Koizumi said taking my attention away from my wallet. "I can help you with the train ride too y'know."

"Yea ok." I agreed. "Wait…but…it can't be real can it? I mean it's not possible to live without a head."

"It is if Suzumiya wants it to be. Besides, maybe it really is possible, there are a whole bunch of legends about headless horsemen and such. Maybe in some cases they're not really legends."

"Ok fine." I replied giving up on that argument while I was ahead. "So now what?"

"We need to find out if this headless rider is really headless or not without Suzumiya. If she is headless, then we have to make sure Suzumiya never sees her, but if it's fake, then we introduce them she sees that there's nothing weird going on after all and we go home."

"Sounds like a plan." I mused. "How are we going to do it though?"

"We're going to sneak out tonight. Suzumiya planned to leave tomorrow, but if she feels she's getting too close she'll want to extend the trip, which means we have to wrap this up quickly." He answered.

"Yea, but I mean how are we going to wrap it up? We're in Ikebukuro this place is huge. It's not like we can walk around hoping for coincidence."

"True. That's why we're going to meet someone."

"Meet who?" I asked warily.

"I don't know. But remember earlier when we were talking to that man and he gave us the number of that information broker…" Koizumi trailed off at that.

"Tell me you're joking!" I pleaded. "I mean, I don't know if you Espers even have a sense of danger, but if every show, manga, anything ever has been correct, then information brokers are usually not very good guys."

Koizumi smiled at that. "True, but it's not like he really has to get too deeply involved. We just ask him where we might be able to meet the headless rider and get it over with. We don't have to tell him anything about Suzumiya or about ourselves for that matter."

Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better.

…

I probably should've said that out loud.

A/N: This probably won't be too long. I don't need another long-term story. Really I just came up with this off the top of my head one day. And someone I know off the internet gave me the idea to the title. But it's cute so I'm keeping it.

And…well, no I'm not pairing Kyon and Mikado. They're just the main characters for this particular story so I categorized it under them. And expect yaoi and crack couples people. This is me we're talking about.

Any feedback it much appreciated. Flames are also welcome I actually want to get flamed it might be funny. I'll definitely have a good laugh for the next couple of weeks. :3

Don't be hatin'

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-Mitsu Amarante