AN: So, I have a bit of a strange sense of humor, but who can deny that James makes an awesome prince and that Logan makes an awesome night in shining armor. This is partially based on Shrek the musical and partially based off the plot bunny infestation that's going on in my head right now. Anyway, read, review, enjoy!

"OK, so maybe growing up in a dragon guarded castle with zero human interaction is a bit weird", Prince James spoke directly to his mirror, "but I'm sure that there are much weirder ways to grow up"

His reflection didn't reply, but he continued talking as if it had, "It's not like I can just walk out the door. You may have noticed, but there's a dragon right outside that will kill me. In retrospect, that seems like a pretty bad idea. What would happen if the dragon ate me? Can you imagine some prince showing up at my door and finding that I'm some crummy pile of ashes?"

As soon as he stopped talking, the room returned to its usual silence. James looked at the mirror for another few seconds and turned away. His room was surprisingly sparse for royal quarters, but he supposed it was hard to send anything when the delivery man would have to pass through barren desert, climb dangerous mountains, and wade through miles of deadly swamps just to get to the front door and even them would probably be killed anyway.

The prince walked over to the far wall and used his old pocket knife to make a small scratch on the wall. He broke the silence again my stating sadly, "Day 3623. I'm going to be rescued today"

He said that every day, but he'd stopped believing it years ago. The first three or four princes that had come to rescue him hadn't lasted one minute in front of the dragon's fiery breath. There had been one a month ago that had almost killed the dragon, but even he hadn't been able to pierce the dragon's scales.

He glanced at the sundial outside and sighed. It wasn't even lunchtime yet, and he was already bored. He resigned himself to cleaning every free inch of his room. Since he'd done the same thing every day, there wasn't any dirt to clean but it was much saner than talking to his reflection.

As he cleaned, he sung. He didn't know any real songs, so he just sung random tunes that he made up adding silly nonsense words. Every once in awhile, when he was especially bored, James would try and put words to one of his songs. Today was one of those days.

"So tell me who am I supposed to be, what I gotta do to get you close to me. If I run away tonight will you follow me. Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah"

His voice was interrupted by a noise at the door. He rolled his eyes thinking that it was one of the mice that somehow managed to live in the desolate castle with very little water and nothing to eat. James moved to open the door, when the handle turned and someone walked through.

This was the first face besides his own that James remembered. He'd been sent to the tower when he was six and the only memory he had of another person was a faint blur and a woman telling him that someday his prince would come and save him.

The stranger stood up with a look of confusion, "Who are you?"

James didn't answer, because he was still in shock from seeing and hearing another person. The stranger was shorter than him with short dark hair that stuck out in every direction like he'd never learned to comb it. His clothes were ill-fitting and torn. They looked nothing like the princely clothes James had in his closet.

"I said; 'Who are you?'"

James snapped out of his daze, "I'm Prince James from the Kingdom of Diamonds. Who are you?"

He tried to look cool and put together, but his hands were shaking from nerves. The stranger straightened himself, trying to dust off some of the dirt that had accumulated on his sleeves, "I'm Logan Henderson. I thought this was the tower of Princess Jamie"

The lack of a royal title threw James, but he was sure that the other was just being modest, "You're mistaken then. I'm Prince James. As far as I know, I don't have any sisters, but considering I haven't heard from my parents since they dropped me here, I wouldn't know"

Logan was giving James a look that he could recognize. It was hard to read anything from this stranger. The books he owned, most of them picture books that he'd memorized as a child, told of brave knights in shining armor knocking down the door and sweeping him down to the noble steed that stood beside the head of the slain dragon. To say the least, this wasn't what he expected.

Logan looked at the ground suddenly getting quiet, "So, do you want to come with me?"

James struggled for the words to describe what the boy looked like. The first word he could think of was shy, the second was cute. James couldn't keep the grin from his face, "Are you kidding? I've been waiting for someone to get me out of here for years"

Logan looked up grinning, "Awesome, but before we leave, do you have any food. I'm kind of out"

James nodded and opened the trapdoor that lead to the pantry. It was still mostly full of food. Everything was non-perishable and frozen in order to make sure he'd have food for years. Logan opened one crate looking at the food skeptically, "What is this stuff?"

"That's frozen fish sticks. I guess they don't have them in your kingdom", James commented still unable to stop looking at his new prince.

Logan laughed tightly, maybe nervous was the word for that, "There isn't anything like this where I come from"

James took charge and found the simplest food and put it in a simple sack. He was still trying to pry the location of Logan's kingdom from the quiet boy, "So, you must come from one of the southern kingdoms. I read that it's much warmer down there and it's almost impossible to freeze anything.

Logan shrugged, "I guess you could say that"

As James walked down the old staircase, he heard a familiar noise. He surprised he hadn't heard it before, but he supposed it was because that noise had always existed in his world and he'd just gotten so used to it. It was the sound he the dragon breathing.

He tugged on Logan's filthy jacket, "You didn't kill the dragon?"

"No, I drugged it. Don't worry, the dragon won't wake up until we're long gone"

"Drugged?"

Logan turned to look at the pretty boy, "It won't wake up. I don't like killing animals without cause"

"There is a cause", James felt anger pushing through the mask of smoothness he was trying to portray, "That dragon has kept me from leaving for years and every time someone tried to help the dragon killed them too. I think I have a right to want it dead. Just because you'd rather take the cowards way out, doesn't mean that I can't kill it"

He stormed past his very confused rescuer and walked into what had been a great hall, but now served as the dragon's cave. He'd long since figured out how to kill the dragon, but been unable to do it because the dragon would have to be sound asleep.

The prince picked up a long sword from the charred bones of what had been a prince and walked right up to the sleeping dragon's face. Without pausing to think, he drove the sword straight through the eye of the dragon and straight into the monsters brain.

Instead of just dying quietly like he'd expected, the dragon began to thrash angrily. The prince ran barely avoiding a spiked wing flying past his head. he looked back to see a long think tail coming straight at him and prepared to be hit when Logan appeared out of nowhere and knocked him to the ground so that the tail swept across their backs without harming them.

They stayed on the ground for several minutes and the dragon died slowly. James was hyperaware of Logan's arm around his waist and the smaller boys' breath against his cheek. He'd never felt the touch of another person and he'd never realized how much he'd missed. It was a reassuring warmth that fire never brought, that made him feel relaxed even though he'd come very close to dying just a few seconds before.

After the dragon had finished dying, Logan pulled them both up scolding the prince, "Have you lost your mind? You can't just stab something in the brain and not expect its nervous system to react."

James didn't know what a nervous system was, but he nodded and apologized to Logan anyway. Logan turned to look at the dragon with an odd expression, "I wish I could dissect that. Did you know that that is the rarest species of dragons? They're called rusinious draconis and theirs only about one hundred of them left in the wild"

Again, James didn't know what Logan was saying, but he looked really cute when he was saying it. On a whim, James grabbed his prince and kissed him. At first, it felt like Logan was pushing him away, but after a few seconds, he just melted into the kiss. In spite of being in the middle of a ruined castle with the body of a recently dead dragon and the skeletons of failed rescuers, it felt was a sweet kiss warm and soft.

Logan pulled away first blurting out, "I'm not a prince"

James froze, unsure of how to take that, "What are you?"

"I'm a scientist or I was. I'm out of money and an old friend suggested that I should save a princess and give her back to her family and get the reward. I didn't figure on actually marrying any princess because I'm not into girls", he said it all very fast and James barely understood it because the not-prince was mumbling.

James sighed sadly, "Fine, I guess that I can return to my parents without a prince. I'll accept anything as long as I don't have to stay here any longer"

Logan kissed the prince again grinning, "I said, I'm not into princesses. I have no problem with marrying a prince"

James smiled back, "Is that a proposal?"

Logan shrugged, "It's an offer"

As James answered yes, they both rode off into the sunset on Logan's old horse and went on to live happily ever after.

The end.