A/N: I have never written explicit sexual content beofre. I've seen it too poorly done over the years, and the fear of creating something terrible kept me from trying. But I have been in a happy, sexually fulfilling relationship for a few years now, and I figured it was time to push my personal boundaries a bit. And now that I'm twenty-one, I have access to actual porn! YAY! Truthfully, I've had the idea for AJ's old *ahem* CAREER coming back to haunt him for a while now, and different places I could slip it in, and this seemed like the most hilarious way to do it. And, well, frankly, so few stories actually use porn as a major plot point. I thought perhaps it wouldn't be what people are used to reading, in addition to it being a major excuse to write some serious smut. So here we go! Lock the door, baby, we're going to bust some furniture!

Title: Johnny Montrose in: A Learning Experience

Summary: Upon discovering AJ's pornographic career, Tezz finds himself intrigued and strangely obsessed! Can the poor Canadian trust him to keep his embarrassing secret? AJxTezz, past AJxSimon and AJxVert. SQUEE.

WARNING: MASTURBATION, VOYEURISM, HOMOSEXUALITY, ANAL SEX, and very slight angst at the beginning.

The biggest surprise of AJ's life had come when Vert returned to the Yukon more than a year after he left. It had taken all of AJ's resolve not to smooch the blonde. He'd tried to move on for so long, but there was no denying it. One look was all it took, and the feeling hit him like a ton of bricks. AJ was in love.

But these were feelings he would have to put aside for the time being, as saving the multiverse was more important. Never mind that there never seemed to be a good time to mention it to his golden-haired cohort, nor that Vert himself seemed to be developing some serious romantic tension with Agura. (A GIRL! He screamed inside his head, his spirit crushed) It looked more and more seriously like they would never get around to discussing just what happened that last night they were together. Yes, alcohol had been a major influence, but the tension had been building for some time. Maybe Vert could brush off the incident as if it never happened, but it had been a very emotional night for AJ and meant a lot to him.

Vert did love him, but as a friend. He would never see AJ as a lover. They could never be together because Vert did not see himself as gay.

AJ's tender heart was breaking. He felt so all alone, like he was falling through a terrible abyss without a parachute. And then he remembered: there were worse places to be. There were tough times in which he had fallen so hard and become desperate. He had done things with people that did not matter to him, things that he felt were better shared with people you cared about, and it ate away at his soul. He felt dirty and used just thinking about it. He was safely ensconced within purely platonic relationships there at the hub. He was hanging out and making friends with the Cortez brothers, Zoom, and Stanford, but could have still been working for Mrs. Robinson on the set with someone like Ian Westminster—although, now that he thought about it, the red-haired Westminster did greatly resemble Stanford, if a little taller and broader, and Stanford's eyes lacked those little flecks of gold Ian's had. For all he knew it really was Stanford's brother, and what a scandal that would be for the royal family!

He told himself it was because he was curious as to Ian Westminster's true identity, and perhaps a little to remind himself of how far he could fall and how good he had it there at the hub. He told himself it was definitely not because he was sad and lonely and had not been laid in some time. But whatever his reasons, AJ crept up to his room and pulled out a box from beneath his bed. From the box he removed a DVD. The cover showed two brawny young men in cowboy hats, one shirtless, the other in only a leather vest, and both gorgeous and muscular. The platinum blonde gave a teasing smile under his pseudonym of Johnny Montrose. The redhead, billed as Ian Westminster, did indeed resemble Stanford a great deal as he arched his back and attempted to pout seductively.

Hmm…perhaps he had better just pop it in for a quick viewing, just to get a closer look.

AJ skipped through to the deep action, where you saw who someone truly was. If anyone looked at AJ's face during the film they could see the haunted look in his eyes; they would know that, though he physically enjoyed himself, he felt guilty for doing so and wished he was with someone else. Staring into "Ian's" eyes, all he saw was desperation to be somewhere, anywhere but where he was. AJ recognized the look as that of someone who wanted to make it as a legitimate actor and had to start their way from the bottom.

'Literally, in this case,' he noted, tilting his head to the side. On screen, poor Ian bit down on his lower lip, backing hungrily against AJ as the larger man bucked into him. Both moaned loudly, groping for any skin they could get at, seeming to want to be so close they were a single entity. AJ remembered the way Ian had felt inside, how hot his skin had been, the way he blushed and begged for him for more. As he watched the screen, transfixed by his view and his memories, AJ was only barely aware of beginning to strip himself. He felt hands on his skin that he imagined were Ian's, licked his lips in anticipation, listened for the grunts and groans he knew were coming as he stroked himself.

AJ never heard the door open as he gave in to his fantasies, teasing his own nipples and balls. Asking for permission to enter someone's room was basic etiquette, but the master of magnetism had been stuck on a moon for almost ten years and these things occasionally escaped him. Though his bashfulness immediately made him wish he had remembered this time... Tezz knew he should leave, but the sight had him glued to the spot. He felt a tightness in his belly and warmth in his cheeks from the steamy encounter, and deliciously enough, he was treated not just to the heavenly view of AJ in all his glory, but of AJ having sex with another man on the television. So lovely were both sights that he could not choose between the two. When he eventually glanced back at the screen, Tezz saw a close up of the second man's face as he moaned in orgasm. His face went bright red with recognition as the fiery redhead arched his back and spurted into his lover's hand.

"Stanford?"

AJ covered himself with a blanket, his face turning an iridescent shade of pink. "Tezz, this isn't what it looks like."

"It looks like you made a sex tape with Stanford!"

"That's not Stanford," AJ told him, whispering. "They might be related, though. I don't know, man, we all used fake names."

"You made a sex tape with Stanford's brother?" Tezz hissed. He was not sure why they were whispering, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

"Sex tapes are for amateurs and celebrities, Tezz. I…was in porn."

His eyes were wide, but for a moment, Tezz was quiet. "Let me guess," he said dryly. "You were young and needed the money?"

"Yes! I was in deep to these loan sharks, see, and—hey, where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to tell Stanford his brother is a homosexual."

"Ohhhhh, NO YOU DON'T!" AJ blocked the boy's way out, his blanket be damned. His massive form between him and the door, Tezz backed away, and his eyes naturally fell to AJ's erection. He blushed deeper, looking to the side as he tripped and fell onto the bed. AJ smirked down at him. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock before entering? It's not very nice to just barge in like that."

Tezz gulped as AJ approached him. "Could you, ah, perhaps put some pants on?"

"Nope! MY room. MY right to walk around naked if I WANT to. And I WANT to, NOW."

Tezz shifted uncomfortably, eying the door. But AJ was far more athletic than he was and he knew he would never make it. He gulped. "What do you want, AJ?"

"Besides the right to walk around without pants? Oh, I dunno, I bet I could think of a few things…"

Tezz whimpered and shyly opened the top button of his shirt, the red of his cheeks darkening further.

"Tezz, you know coercion counts as rape, right?" AJ groaned. "Jeez, I thought you were supposed to be a genius. I just want you to keep this quiet. I don't want people to know about my…career." He sighed and gazed at his nervously shuffling feet. "I'm not proud of what I did, Tezz. I can't let the guys know about this. Please, don't tell anyone…please? For me? What do I need to do to get you to hush up, eh?"

"Could I perhaps borrow the disc? I found the presentation rather…intriguing."

"That's why you offered me your body!" AJ grinned, somewhat flattered. "Aw, Tezz, you're not sweet on me, are you, buddy? A romance might mess with the team dynamic. Of course, if you really were interested in a, uh, private performance I wouldn't say no…"

"You have my silence if you put clothes on, NOW!" Tezz shouted abruptly with a deep frown, his eyes shut tight, and thankfully, AJ took the opportunity to dress.

"You can look now," the Canadian chuckled. As Tezz went to leave, he grabbed his shoulder. "Hey, seriously though. This is our little secret, right?"

Tezz nodded furiously and ran like the devil was at his heels.

Once he got the other side of the door, Tezz finally remembered to breathe again. The panic slowly left him as he trudged down the hall to his laboratory in the hopes that some hard science (heheh, HARD SCIENCE…) would take his mind off of things. He attempted, through data previously gathered, to extrapolate (heheh, EXTRAPOLATE…) the current location of Zemerik. The Sark leader had gone into hiding after the Red Sentients had reemerged, occasionally providing the Battle Force 5 with valuable information. But even as he worked on such pitiably easy problems, Tezz found himself rereading the same line over again and taking in none of the data. He was unable to concentrate, returning again and again to the images of AJ bending the other man over the wood rail fence.

'Career,' the Canadian had said. The film he was watching was therefore most likely one of several. It was the master of magnetism's understanding that few participants in pornographic films went by their given names. Finding any more of AJ's work would take some digging, and did he really even want to know?

In human society, being attracted to a person of your own gender was frowned upon. Certainly in recent years, it had become more acceptable, though many still found it unusual, but being unusual did not bother Tezz. During nearly a decade of solitude on the Red Sentient Moon, he underwent puberty completely alone. Fighting constantly for his life with no other living humanoid beings in two parsecs did not leave much opportunity to sexually experiment. As much as Tezz prided himself on his vast knowledge, his familiarity with the subject of human sexuality was woefully incomplete! And since arriving in the hub he had become so focused on their mission no romantic notions had crossed his mind. He had felt no initial attraction to any of his teammates.

But now, Tezz was not so sure. Perhaps it was because he had not encountered such a situation before that he had not considered the possibility. Happening upon AJ in such a vulnerable position, moaning, panting, his muscles flexing and body out in the open… The fine sheen of sweat showing on his skin, the pink tinge of his face as his temperature rose…

Tezz shook his head, trying to steady his heartbeat. There was no denying the attraction to his teammate, but it could have simply been instinctual. This was merely his first encounter with an amorous human and perhaps it was simply a biological response. Clearly, more data was required, and soon all thoughts of tracking Zemerik left him. Without ceremony, he left for a more private quarter of the hub where he would not be disturbed.

A few hours of viewing various and sundry pornography sites revealed very little to Tezz, metaphorically. He was able to determine he was likely bisexual, though he definitely was leaning more towards homosexuality, but aside from that, the Russian was left with more questions than before—chief among them, why in the multiverse would someone want to dress up like a teddy bear and molest children? There were some sick and twisted people on the internet… And still, none of what he saw was quite as titillating as what AJ had done. The solution was clear: Tezz would have to hack into the Canadian's tax records to learn what production company he had worked for. The fact that it was a blatant invasion of privacy did not vex him; his only concern was the truth.

Of course, Spinner was more skilled at hacking than he was, but asking for his assistance on this matter would raise far too many uncomfortable questions. No, this was their little secret, after all; a promise made under duress was still a promise, and Tezz would not betray that promise. Tezz would have to do the job himself.

Bringing up AJ's tax records revealed he had been employed for a time by Mrs. Robinson Incorporated and later Edmonton Fantasy, a subsidiary thereof. And finally, with his membership application for the Canadian Guild of Erotic Labour, he had his pseudonym.

This Johnny Montrose had an incredibly impressive body of work for someone active for such a short time. Most of the skin flicks were available for download, too! Fascinated, he stared at the screen as the opening credits began to roll on the same film he had come across AJ watching.

JOHNNY MONTROSE and IAN WESTMINSTER in Breaking the Bronc

Apparently the theme for the movie was "Homosexual Cowboys have naughty fun in the wilderness!" The dialogue made Tezz snicker; the redhead AJ had been paired with really was a terrible actor. But then, he was not watching for the storyline…

Spellbound, Tezz watched eagerly as the action got going.

Johnny began massaging the shoulders of the muscular redhead from behind, and Ian finally relaxed a little. He shrugged off his t-shirt, revealing the creamy white skin of his pectorals in stark contrast to his well tanned forearms. All of this gorgeous physique was peppered with sparse tufts of red hair that proved the carpet matched the drapes.

The expression on Ian's face was one of gentle contentedness as Johnny's strong hands moved over his skin, working every muscle. Ian bit his lip, arching his back as the platinum blonde teased his nipples. Johnny smirked predatorily and started kissing Ian's neck, his soft lips brushing over his collar bone. He nibbled a bit, then bit down a little harder, eliciting a deep moan from the ginger who reached back to grope Johnny's thigh.

Suddenly, Johnny pulled away, yanking off his own shirt. As soon as the pair was on equal footing, he embraced the redhead and held him flush against his own body, feeling his well toned abs.

"Are you sure," Johnny started, pausing to lick Ian's ear, "that you've never done this before?"

"Well, there was that time—ah!—at bible camp!"

Ian turned around to face his partner, kissing him full on the lips. They hardly bothered to close their mouths, fighting for dominance as their tongues intertwined. The redhead ran a hand through the thick, platinum blonde curls that covered Johnny's chest. "Just like a polar bear," he growled, licking the larger man's nipple and causing him to cry out in surprise. His arms snaked around the blonde's waist, hands roaming over the flexing back muscles. Johnny's skin was white as snow without a single freckle, like fine porcelain.

Johnny groped his buttocks with both hands, grinding against him as they continued to smooch. He pushed Ian further back until he was leaning against the fence that kept the sheep from escaping. Ian frowned, much to Johnny's dismay. "What?" the blonde asked.

"You took your hat off. I really like that hat."

"It got knocked off. What's the big deal?"

"Well…do you think you could, um, put it back on?"

Johnny raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Kinky!"

Ian blushed. "You look really good in that hat..."

Johnny grinned as he adjusted his newly replaced white Stetson. "Why thank yew, darlin', that's awful kind of yew ta say."

Ian chuckled at the over the top accent, pulling him in for another kiss. Johnny pushed back, grabbing the ginger's right leg and lifting it to hook around his waist. Ian was knocked off balance a little and wound up sitting on the wooden prairie fence on which they hung their shirts and jackets. Johnny growled, grinding his hips into Ian, who moaned and leaned against him. Finally, Ian could take it no longer.

"Oh, don't stop!" he begged. "I need you! Don't be such a tease!"

Johnny kissed him hungrily, grabbing onto everything he could reach. "Naughty boy," he murmured, biting Ian's lip. The redhead whimpered and reached for Johnny's belt buckle, fumbling for a moment before he finally got the damned thing undone. He lowered the zipper of the larger man's jeans and scooped out his dazzling genitalia; Johnny was a stunning ten and three quarter inches, thick enough that Ian's manly hand only just closed around it, with testicles like a pair of boiled eggs. More of the soft platinum blonde curls carpeted the area, framing a perfect set that made the redhead throb with desire.

Johnny grunted and growled, continuing to gnaw and suck at his throat; the Englishman was going to have some serious hickeys. He manhandled the redhead, not being quite as gentle about things as his partner was, wrenching off Ian's belt and yanking down his jeans and boxers. Ian yelped and leaned into it as the blonde began stroking his manhood and letting his fingers dance over his balls. Johnny spit onto his hand and moved it deeper down, probing his entrance little by little. He gently stretched the redhead, smoothly slipping in another finger, causing Ian to move his hips in rhythm with the contact, moaning and gasping.

"Ah! Yes, oh, I want you inside me, you stud!"

Johnny pulled away, taking a lubricated condom from his wallet. While he opened it and rolled it down his quivering member, Ian took the opportunity to hurriedly remove his pants the rest of the way, but he left his cowboy boots on. Likewise, as per the request, Johnny held on to his hat while he grabbed the redhead by his wrist.

Ian gave a startled yelp as he was bent forward, gripping the fence for support. He felt a hand rub around his hip and then lift, slapping his ass, and something deliciously warm rub up against him…

"Ooh, is that for me?" Ian asked in a sultry tone.

"If you still want it."

"Yes, Johnny! I want you so bad!"

Gently, he entered the young man, slowly allowing the redhead to accommodate his girth. He moved in and out, starting a slow rhythm, going a little deeper each time, trying not to let the ginger's moans drive him too wild. He groped Ian's chest and kissed the back of his neck, nibbling and murmuring sweet nothings as he went. Johnny was holding back, trying to savor the moment, but for his part, the redhead wanted more.

"So—ah!—big! Ohhhh, HARDER!"

"Like this?" Johnny asked with a sly smile. He gripped Ian's hips and thrust deeper, causing Ian to cry out, but the ginger was thoroughly enjoying himself. His cheeks were flushed and he panted and gasped as he pushed further back against the man who took him from behind. Faster and faster they moved, like cats in heat, muscles flexing in the warm sunlight. So what if they were outdoors? So what if someone could drive up at any moment? That just made it that much hotter.

Johnny grunted as he plunged harder into the ginger, reaching a hand around to stroke Ian's throbbing sex. The redhead bucked his hips, desperate for release as he was pleasured from the front and behind. He groaned and whined, spreading his legs further and backing hungrily into Johnny to allow him further entry. The platinum blonde gasped. Suddenly, Ian cried out, his body shuddering as he spilled his seed into Johnny's hand, hot and sticky and white. His wild thrashing and passionate cries finally drove his partner over the edge as their afternoon delight came to a crescendo.

"Ready or not, babe, here I come!" Johnny called out. He bucked quickly a few more times, grunting and moaning, before holding Ian's hips in place. Wave after wave of pleasure wracked through his body and he basked in the afterglow of loving someone new. A serene expression came over him, his face bright red. "Oh, babe…oh, you're a real firecracker."

Leaning back in his chair and blushing, Tezz was very glad he'd had the forethought to bring lotion and tissues to his secluded spot. Things had gotten a bit…messier…than expected. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of, though now that he had his hormones under control he was suddenly terrified at the prospect of someone discovering his private adventure.

There was still a lot Tezz felt he had to figure out. There was so much he did not know, so little he had to work with. Was he gay? Or bisexual, perhaps? Did humans only interest him physically, or someday would he find someone he could connect with on a deep emotional level? Earlier he had thought only of sex and now he wondered about love—but then, that was another problem for another day. Today, he would focus on sex.

Tezz grinned; in the scientific method, experimentation was key, but to make sure the results were not a fluke he would have to repeat the experiment a number of times. Quickly, he double checked the locks and began running down Johnny Montrose's selected filmography.

"Hmm…perhaps 'Switch Hitter.' That sounds interesting…"

A/N: I would like to say that, yes, there really is a Canadian Guild of Erotic Labour. I have ideas for more and might be able to squeeze four equally smutty chapters out of it; I wanted to try and make it funny, but knowing me, there'll definitely be more drama in there. Let me know what you think. I've been writing this for a month. I quite literally tried to post this twice already and had panic attacks both times, believing the story to be of inferior quality because of the sex. So please be gentle! It's my first time...