Back in Black

Author's note: WARNING - this fiction contains spoilers for the latest Bleach manga; Shounen-ai, which means two guys snuggling and kissing, so don't like-don't read.

Original characters belong to Tite Kubo and I do not make any money out of this.

xXx

Lying in his bed awake, Ichigo pondered about the most recent changes that occurred in his life. He was a Shinigami again. He could see spirits once more. His friends came to help him; Yamamoto-soutaichou decided to help him out because of all he did for them before and during the winter war. All this time he thought he was alone, abandoned from Soul Society. Abandoned and forgotten from his best friend and from the guy he never expected to miss so much while he was living a 'normal' life.

With a sour taste in his mouth, he remembered the way he and Renji became closer during his last days as a Shinigami, before he'd lost it all. It was like the other man knew that it was the last week before he'd lost all his powers and that they might not see each other until Ichigo would pass on to the other world, and he was far more mild and understanding than ever before.

It drove Ichigo crazy because he saw pity in those wild, dark red eyes of Abarai Renji. It drove him crazy because he liked that mellow part of Renji. He was easier to talk to, to spend time with... He was easier to really like. It was like pouring salt on an open wound – to experience a whole other part of his friend before he lost him for what he believed was for good.

And now, Renji was back. Everyone was back in his life, but Renji somehow was a story for himself. They still hadn't talked alone and Ichigo wondered if their friendship grew cold after all that time apart. And that pulled along a string of other new questions, like how has Renji been, what's he been up to, was he happy... If he'd missed him too...

xXx

Deep in his thoughts, Ichigo didn't hear a quiet slide of his window or felt the presence of another Shinigami in his room until the said person spoke, startling him.

"Hey kid. Did I wake you?" Renji gave a little smirk, followed with an inquiring look at the teen.

"No, I was... thinking..." Ichigo answered, trying to calm his racing heart. Since when could a man so loud and big sneak up on him?

"Yeah? With so much things goin' on, I'm not surprised. So, how are ya, Ichigo?"

The blond stared at him in disbelief. They haven't seen each other for over a year and Renji just asked him how he was?

"How... What?" Ichigo shot out of his bed and barely restrained himself from full-out yelling at the redhead. "You have some nerve coming here and asking me that after ignoring me all this time!"

The warm look he was getting was quickly changed into a confused, very Renji-like frown. "I wasn't ignoring you!"

"Urahara-san still has your gigai, right? So why in the hell you haven't paid me a visit? Any of you? I thought we were friends."

"We... We are, ya dumbass! Wasn't that the life you've always wanted - no spirits, hollows or Shinigami? How was I supposed ta know you'd be this goddamn sensitive?" Renji growled an inch from the teen's face.

"I'm not sensitive!" Ichigo's cheeks became tinged with pink, half upset, half embarrassed from hearing Renji calling him that. He wasn't some crybaby, nagging his friend for not playing with him.

"Then what do ya call this 'pay me a visit' and 'I thought we were friends' shit?"

"I MISSED YOU, YOU IDIOT!"

Renji's jaw went slack, betraying the surprise at the screamed out confession. "Ichigo..."

"I missed you, dammit," the teen went on, pacing up and down his room. "After all we've been through... You and Rukia became my best friends, I felt closer to you than to anyone from my school. And then when I lost my powers, you disappeared as well... I thought it was the life I wanted, but I was wrong... I had no idea how you've been, I had no idea if I'd ever see you again..."

"I missed you too."

"And now you..." Ichigo suddenly stopped in his tracks. "...what?"

"I missed you too, ya damn brat," the older man murmured, nervously shifting from foot to foot. "I wanted to see ya, but we-"

"I don't wanna know why you didn't," Ichigo interrupted, sighing heavily. "I understand, just... Feeling like this... It sucks."

"I know... Let me greet ya properly," Renji smiled and took a step towards the teen. Ichigo stared up at him but approached him without protests.

"What now?"

"Missed ya, buddy. Come 'ere," the redhead pulled Ichigo into a tight hug, wrapping his long arms all the way around his body.

Ichigo began to shiver uncontrollably. The warmth overwhelmed him and wanting or not, he felt himself melt into the embrace. His arms wrapped around Renji's waist and his head rested against Renji's shoulder. He was still noticeably shorter than the redhead and it somehow made their embrace less awkward. He could hide his face in Renji's chest or neck so the blush on his cheeks would pass unseen.

"Wanna talk about it?" Came a low murmur from deep within that broad, tattooed chest.

"There's not much to talk about. I'm just happy to be able to see you all again."

"Yeah?" Renji squeezed him a bit tighter before letting go.

The teen reluctantly stepped away and nodded. He sat down on his bed and cast another look at Renji. "I'm sorry I screamed at you."

"It's okay," Renji waved it off and sat down beside Ichigo. There was still some tension left between them and the redhead couldn't help but wonder about it. "You sure you don't wanna talk?"

"I don't know... Feels weird... it still feels like there are some things missing. Stupid, right?" Ichigo smiled nervously and averted his gaze, suddenly taking much interest in his hands.

"It's not stupid. Why won't you look at me?"

"I'm whining too much," Ichigo grumbled but looked back at Renji. "I even missed arguing with you."

The older man chuckled and put his arm around Ichigo's shoulders, pulling him closer to his side. "We can argue all you want, just don't get all depressed, yeah?"

"Yeah..." Ichigo gave a light nod. He took in Renji's features from up-close, focusing on his red hair. "It's gotten so long," he reached for a strand and pulled lightly, feeling like he was allowed to touch since Renji had his arm around him.

"Does it look okay?"

"It looks great," the teen smiled. "Get a perm and you'll look like your Bankai."

"Shut up brat," Renji laughed and as Ichigo finally let out a chuckle, he grew quiet, just observing the boy. He'd missed him terribly but didn't feel like he had the right to tell him the details, especially when he thought that Ichigo wouldn't be able to see him ever again.

"You know," Renji murmured, "You're not the only one that's been feelin' down because of all this."

"What do you mean?"

"You can ask Rukia if you want, I've been kinda... edgy."

"I see..." Ichigo blushed, feeling strangely lightheaded, even more so with the redhead being so close.

"Missed your company an'... everythin'..." Not knowing how to express his thoughts better, Renji put his other arm around the teen and rested his chin on his shoulder, sighing slowly. He sensed that it was time to get out in the open with this unspoken 'thing' between them.

"I really hope I didn't get this all wrong," he whispered, letting his hands slide up to Ichigo's face. Calloused fingertips gently touched the smooth young skin while the teen turned his head in surprise.

"R-Renji..."

Not saying a word, the redhead slowly pulled him closer until he could brush his lips against Ichigo's, just barely so. The teen looked like he was about to cry, producing a sound so meek and willing that Renji hardly believed it was the same Ichigo he knew before. It made his heart ache for him, the need to kiss him overwhelming.

Encouraged by that sweet sound, Renji increased the pressure, turning the touch of their lips into a full kiss. He felt Ichigo's mouth slightly part, allowing him to fully enjoy the contact and gently nip at the teen's lower lip.

A slow slide of tongue was the next thing to do, tasting the softer inside of Ichigo's lips. The teen gave a soft moan, tentatively responding with his own tongue and sighing at the warm and wet feel of the encounter.

Renji ended the kiss, smiling when Ichigo's arms went around him. He embraced the blond tightly, taking a deep breath of his scent.

"Stay with me tonight," Ichigo murmured into his shoulder, snuggling deeper into his hold.

Taking the invitation, Renji pushed him back and caught his lips in a kiss once more, cupping his face, nipping and licking, savoring the taste. Slowly, he laid the teen back onto the bed, resting by his side, holding himself up on his elbow while his other hand was free to press Ichigo against his body.

Ichigo was shivering, assaulted with a myriad of emotions, confused and exhilarated all at once. His lips were tingling from the contact with Renji's, he felt hot enough to pass out, but wanted to press even closer to the redhead's warmth.

He never dared to hope for that particular scenario, but Renji was here now and Renji was kissing him like he couldn't possibly get enough. The redhead's larger frame was above him now, allowing him to wrap his arms around the strong and broad shoulders, to pull him closer until Renji was literary on top of him, chest against chest, hips against hips... He gasped as he felt Renji's arousal poking him in his belly.

The wild blush on his face was an indicator for Renji to slow down and think things over.

"Sorry... Too eager," Renji apologized, now careful of every move and every touch. The last thing he wanted was to push the blond before he was ready for anything other than kissing and cuddling. He lied back on his side and slowly rubbed Ichigo's chest and stomach through the T-shirt he wore, nipping at his earlobe.

"Should've done this long ago," he purred, sighing into Ichigo's ear just to see him shiver in response.

"Yeah..." Ichigo then also turned on his side, facing the redhead. "I was thinking about you just before you came here."

"I kinda surprised you, huh?" Renji grinned and took the boy in a warm embrace.

"I can't believe I didn't notice you," Ichigo sighed, cautiously putting his arm around Renji's waist.

"You are allowed to hug me, yanno?" The other man chuckled and adjusted the teen's arm around him to hold him properly. "I like to be held too."

"Okay, sorry," Ichigo yawned and smiled at the redhead. "Feels good having you here, um, in my bed..." He blushed again. So much about being brave when he was so darn shy.

"And it feels great to have you in my arms, finally," Renji planted a kiss on his temple and then began petting his hair. "You're tired Ichi, go to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere."

Yes, he was tired. He was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open, but it felt so nice to finally be able to talk to Renji, to have him there beside him. It was much more than he'd hoped for, but it only made it sweeter at the end. And yes, Renji wasn't going anywhere, or at least not anytime too soon. He felt safe to sleep.

"You can kiss me more tomorrow too," he said, closing his eyes slowly.

"Sure thing kiddo. Whatever you want," Renji smiled. He threw a blanket over them and laid back on his side, wrapping his arms around the young wiry body, his head on Ichigo's pillow, their foreheads touching.

Renji watched him sleep, gently rubbing his back, wordlessly showing him he was still there. When his eyelids became too heavy as well, he kissed the blond once more, amused with the way he smiled and responded even in his sleep.

It felt good to be back in Ichigo's life.

xXx

The End

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