You wake up early in the morning, not wanting to wake up, really. Your head hurts and you're not sure why.
Maybe because of last night. Your brother slipped something in your drink and you knew it. You told him no,
told him you're far too young. He doesn't listen and you comply. Sometimes you hate him, sometimes you
want to run away into the warm, comforting arms of your eldest, Kevin. But you can't, you love Joe, you
don't want him to hate you. You step out of bed, practically falling as your legs quiver under you. You stand
up straight for some few seconds before walking to the bathroom. He's asleep; you know this because you
see him. His eyes shut, blanket wrapped around his waist. You find it appealing and want to curl up next to
him. Mainly because you're still tired. Joe is warm, always so warm..
You shake him off your mind and continue to the bathroom. Standing on your tip-toes, you look into the
mirror. Sometimes you don't like what you see, sometimes you think you're not good enough. But your mind
changes as you realize that someone loves you. You don't have to be good enough because the person you
love, loves you back. You smile and take off your shirt. There's bruises but you don't mind. You know they're
there and the reason why but you love that reason. Running your finger over them, you wince at the pain but
there's this feeling in your chest. You feel your heart pound fast and it's almost a drug; the happiness you
feel. Smiling again, you start your shower. You don't wait for the water and just step into the cold. It feels
nice as your back touches the wall. You close your eyes and think. Think of all the things people tell you.
How they say you're awfuly mature for a thirteen year old. You think of how you hardly see Nick or Kevin and
how you miss them dearly. Your eyes open as the door does, too. You glance through the glass door even though you don't need too.
You know who it is and you smile. Part of you is nervous because you're shy. You see him getting closer and
his hand reach the handle. He slides the door open and just looks at you. No where but your eyes and you
love that. He seems to be in a good mood, seems gentle. You blink, making sure you're not dreaming but he
grabs you and kisses you. It's soft but his grip is hard. You want to cry because it hurts but he losens up. He
looks at you again and says that he's sorry. You know he means it and you kiss him to let him know. He
smiles into the kiss, and that makes you happy. To know that he's happy. He slides his arm around you, and
tries to pull you against him. You almost fall, making a little sound, and you put your hands on his chest, to
keep a small distance. But he kisses you a too little roughly, causing you to wimper. You apologize, and look down. Mumbling that you need to finish your shower. He frowns, and says okay.
Telling you to hurry up, and that he's going to start breakfast. You nod, and close the shower door as he
leaves the bathroom. You let out a sigh, feeling relieved. You thought that he would be different today. He
sort of is. He's in a better mood than he normally is. And that makes you feel a tiny bit better. Makes you feel
more safe. He does make you feel safe, but you never know what he's going to. He does the most
unexpected things, and that has you looking out for yourself all the time. He leaves you wondering. And you hate it. But you love him. And you know you can't stay mad at him. You
hurry up and try to finish your shower before he's done making breakfast. Because he hates when you're not
right there when you're supposed to be. You're on his time, not your own. And he gets annoyed when you
don't do as said. You've already learned your lesson. And you're not going to mess up again. Never again. Ever since, you've
listened to everything your brother has told you. You've listened to everything anyone tells you. In fear of
being hurt. You know that Kevin wouldn't mind, though. He's not like Joe. No one is like him. You step out of
the shower, and hurriedly dry off. Throwing your clothes on. You make sure to wipe up the floor, because
Joseph hates it when the floor is wet. You take the towels, and go to the garage. Throwing them in the
washing machine. You leave the garage, and go straight to the kitchen. To find him bringing two plates to
the table. He was already done, and he had the pans in the sink. You're just in time, he tells you, calling you
a good boy. He kisses you on the cheek, and sits down right next to you. You're suspicous, he rarely calls
you a good boy. You haven't done anything wrong, but it's just surprising when he's this nice. Only when he
is in a good mood does he call you that. You smile, and peck him on the lips, telling him thank you. You start
eating, and you tell him you like it. Say that it's good. You always enjoyed his cooking. You thought, out of
everyone, he was best. Even when you all lived together with your parents, you wanted him to cook for you
when they weren't home. If someone else offered to cook, you would ask Joe to. And he would be happy to. You both finish eating, and you clean up the table, and bring the plates to the sink. And you do the dishes.
You always made sure to have all of your chores done. Even if you didn't have them, you would find
something. Because that made Joe happy. If you did something without being told. It made him go easier on
you. He wouldn't be as rough. You're done and you pat yourself on the back in your mind. You're proud. Joe's on the couch and he's
watching the news. He doesn't really watch anything but. He says it's good to know what's going on in the
world and that you don't need reality TV when you have the news. Sometimes it makes you laugh because
it's true. You dry your hands and walk up to the couch. Joe doesn't move so you stand there. You look at him and his
eyes are glued to the television. You look at it as well and watch. Something about a burning building is
being talked about but you can't really concentrate on it. You look back at Joe and he's staring at you. It scares you for a second but then he smiles and scoots over.
He tells you to not be scared, and to ask when you want something. But you don't take his advice and you
probably never will. You're scared to death of him and you shouldn't be. You're too scared to tell him
anything at all. Joe looks at you and scoots closer, taking you into his arms. This frightens you, too. He doesn't know his
own strength. He looks into your eyes and whispers something. You can't hear because everything seems too loud. From
the TV to the cars outside. You can't hear him. He smiles as you search his eyes and it looks like he's crying.
But he couldn't be because he never cries. You've never seen it before but here it is, right in front of you.
Joe's tears are running down his face and you don't know why. Suddenly things are quiet as he let's go of
you. All you hear now is the slow thump of your heart but Joe is still crying. You want to comfort him so bad
that it hurts. You want to ask him so you do. He looks at you for a second, almost like you should already
know. He says that he told you that he loved you. He's crying again, slightly choking on his words but
finishing. He says that you didn't say it back. You understand now and you say that you're sorry. You hug
him and kiss him. You tell him that he should already know that you love him but he doesn't take it well and
pins you down. You get scared as he sqeezes your wrists. He tells you that that's not the point, he says that
you should always say it back, no matter what. His touch gets harder and you start to wonder if you'll have
marks tomorrow. He yells. There's no words, just yelling. He's mad at you and you're ready for it, whatever
it is. But he lets go and you let out a breath. You don't dare to move so you cry. You hate crying infront of
Joe because last time he called you pathetic. But this time is different, he kisses your wrists and whispers in
your ear. He whispers that he shouldn't have overreacted and he's sorry. He wipes your tears away and
touches your cheek. He shushes you and laughs because you have the hiccups. He calls you beautiful. You
think it's cheesy but appreciate it. He runs his fingers on your skin beneath your shirt. You tell him it hurts
and he asks why. You're afraid to tell him but he looks himself. He pauses and softly kisses your skin. You
find it sweet and touch his hair. He lays his head onto your stomach and he's warm. His thumb is slowly
grazing your skin and you make a sound. He smiles up at you, and kisses you. In between kisses, you tell
him you love him, apolagizing. You feel bad for not hearing him. But in a way, you find it cute that he got sad
over something like that. It makes you feel loved. You know that he truly cares about you. But you know you
should listen to him. Joe is a very serious person. And you never want to do something wrong in front of
him. He's not going to take that. And he also doesn't let anything go. He asks you if you mean it, and you tell him yes. His eyes are still a little watery, and you wipe them. Then
he asks you if you know that you're his, and his only. His expression, you can't figure out. But you know he
means it. And you nod. You don't want to make the same mistake, and do nothing. And give him the wrong
idea. I know, you tell him, and you hug him tightly. So he knows. You try to lift the mood, and you say
something child-like, and cheesey. And you tell him that he belongs to you only, and that makes him laugh.
He says yes, and gets off you. Going to the other side of the couch, he holds his arms out. You take a deep
breath, and force a smile on your face, crawling into his lap. You face him, because you know he'll end up
telling you to. He always does. He slips his hand under your shirt, and rubs your back. You find it comforting,
and you nuzzle your face into his neck, letting out a content sigh. And you really want to stay there forever,
and fall asleep. But Joe hates it when you sleep during the day. He prefers having a normal sleeping
schedule. You'll get in trouble if you sleep during the day, it irritates Joe. And it also does if you're not in bed
with him at a certain time. He's very strict, and it scares you. So much. Because you feel like you're not good
enough, and that you'll never give him what he wants. You try. But sometimes you don't always succeed. You yawn, and cover your mouth. You don't want him to say anything. And he pulls away, and looks at you.
He asks you if you're tired, and you stare at him for a second. Searching for any hint that he's mad, and he
doesn't at all look like it. You nod hesitantly, and he smiles softly. Kissing you lightly on the lips, and he holds
onto you carefully as he stands. He carrys you to your's and his room, and lets you down. You sit on the
bed, and watch as he closes the door. He stands in front of you, and asks if you want to take a nap. He
never allows it, because he knows that sometimes you wake up with a headache, and he usually thinks of it
as wasting time. And he says that you're weak, and you could be spending your time getting things done.
You tell him that you kind of do, and that it's only this once. And you sit there, waiting for his response. He
just nods, still with a smile. You've never seen him smile so much in a day. It's rare. He pulls the blankets
back on the bed, and he goes over to you, taking off your shirt. You let him, because you're scared that
something will happen if you push him away. And he unbuttons your pants, and you stand. So that he can
take them off. Leaving you only in your boxers. He tells you to get in bed, and you do so. He undresses,
also, and gets in bed with you. He brings you close to him. And he holds you tightly. You try to move a bit,
because it's uncomfortable. And he tangles your legs together, playing with your hair. You don't know why
he's been so nice today. It's normal that he's this attached. You pull your legs away from his, and you crawl on top of him. You're always shy and scared, never this
open. You just see him smile, and that's a good sign. So you feel better. You feel comfortable. You wish you
could feel this comfortable all the time and not have to worry. Joe always says that God hands you a life and
you take it. No questions asked. You don't care because you actually feel happy but you wish you weren't
scared all the time. You want to tell him and maybe this is the time to tell him. You take a deep breath and
look into his eyes. He's still smiling and it's beautiful. He asks you if something's on your mind and you say
yes. He's expecting you to tell him so you do. You tell him that you're afraid. He asks of what and you tell
him the truth. You tell him that you're scared of him. Joe's looking at you now and you don't know what to
expect but it's another smile. He hugs you and tells you that he's trying. Tells you that he's trying to change. He admits to being strict and he knows that you're scared. He kisses you over and over again. You love it
and you love him. You know you're young, you know that this is sin but you don't care. You take the kiss
deeper and Joe grabs your waist. He's rough again and you wimper. He's losing control and you can't stop it
so you ignore it. The pain numbs and you're wimpering still, only because you love this. Joe's hand is gone
now but you feel again. This time it's touching you under your boxers. His fingers are roaming and you
whine. His touch almost tickles and you want more but you don't say anything. Joe doesn't like when you're
impatient so you wait it out. He's laughing now and you know why. He likes seing you like this and hearing
you as well. You never understood but you liked when he did this,too. He asks you if you're still tired. You've
forgotten all about the nap so you shake your head no. Joe smiles and starts stroking you. It's tight; his
hand. You're making more noises and everything is blurry so you close your eyes. But you start to feel sad
out of nowhere. Tears are peaking out from the corners of your eyes. He's stops and asks you if he's hurt
you. You tell him no and whipe your tears, telling him that you're alright. He's persistant and asks you again.
This time you tell tell him that you want to be perfect; perfect for him. He sits up a little and kisses
your forehead. He tells you that you are perfect but you don't take it. You name every single one of your
flaws but he just smiles. You're mad now, so you hit him. Not caring what's he's going to do. It doesn't
matter because he's laughing now and he says one thing to you.
"Your flaws make you perfect, Frankie."