Charles Xavier: Okay, okay, guys. It's starting.
Sean Cassidy: Yeah. Marvel… Blah, blah, blah… shit, shit, shit…
Charles: Sean! Behave yourself! Vocabulary!
Sean: I can cuss in my head, you know.
Raven Darkholme: Would you guys please calm down? We're not even to the start yet!
Erik Lensherr: Here it is.
Charles: Ah. The holocaust. One of the most discriminatory, least-accepting stories of history.
Alex Summers: You guys are depressing, you know?
Hank McCoy: Psychologically speaking, it will take more than just a comment to trigger a depressive episode.
Erik: Everyone, shut up! I'm moving the gate! I AM MAGNETO.
Raven: Not yet!
Sean: ….. Aaaannnddd then they knock you down.
Erik: You're a whiny ginger bitch sometimes, Sean.
Sean: But you love me… right?
Erik: Yeah… sure… whatever.
Charles: Oh, my. You all can be so insensitive. Now, quiet! Here's my scene as a child…
Raven: And there's me! Well… I look like your mom… yeah.
Charles: Well, it was a witty disguise. I suppose.
Raven: Oh…. I was so flat-chested back then!
Alex: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BLUE BOOBS.
Sean: …Harsh.
Erik: Shut the fuck up! Look, it's what inspired me to kill Shaw!
Hank: You sound proud.
Erik: I did kill him… A long time after.
Charles: And was it worth it?
Erik: This is why we got a divorce. You're so nagging!
Sean: SHHHH! Don't ruin it for the viewers.
Alex: I pity the dumbass who watches the commentary before actually watching the movie.
Hank: So vulgar!
Raven: X-Men: First Class!It's the title!
Hank: Yeah. It's a great movie.
Sean: No shit.
Charles: Sean!
Sean: You never get onto Alex for cussing!
Charles: I expect more out of you!
Erik: Heterochromia… the only kind of hetero Charles knows!
Raven: (in snobby voice) Heterochromia… groovy mutation… Hi, my name's Amy and I'm going to fuck this weird dude who talks about deformations and shit…And dude look at me changing my eye color. Just for attention. So pathetic. Gah. Mutant and proud!
[Everyone but Raven groans]
Charles: Why do I even bother?
Raven: Oh, look. We're back home. Awh. And my hair's red! Eww. Red hair is kinda gross, you know.
Sean: ….Um….
Alex: Well, you know, in myexperience, what they say about gingers is true.
Sean: That we have no soul?
Alex: No. They they're the best in bed.
Sean: Stop it! You're making me blush.
Erik: I'm not so sure that's true…
Raven: Jerk!
Alex: How can you say that? You're a ginger yourself, Erik.
Charles: And on that note, I'll agree that a ginger is quite satisfying in bed.
Hank: … Am I the only virgin in here?
Erik: … Yup.
Raven: You could've lost it…. if Erik wasn't such a cockblock.
Erik: Hey! You're my side now!
Charles: Everyone, quit! Listen to my thesis.
[Everyone is silent for a moment, as if listening to Charles's thesis.]
Erik: Hey, look, it's me! AND SEAN'S MAKING A CAMEO RIGHT BEHIND ME!*
Sean: … Jerk.
Raven: Gingers gotta stick together on decisions of Erik's jerky-ness.
Erik: So I have to agree, too?
Hank: … I have blue hair. Please tell me that counts for something.
Alex: It counts for the fact that you're a beast!
Hank: … I'm going to eat you.
Erik: HEY, LOOK AT ME SPEAKING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. AND I'M ABOUT TO TAKE THIS DUDE'S TOOTH LIKE A FUCKING SHARK.
Charles: Language, Erik!
Erik: Who cares about what's socially acceptable? I mean, how can you expect society to accept you when you can't even accept yourself?
Sean: You're not supposed to say that yet!
Alex: Sean, you're being a dumbass.
Charles: Alex!
Hank: Calm down, guys.
Raven: Like that'll happen.
Charles: Did everyone get drunk before this or what?
Alex: …. Sean didn't.
[Sean laughs]
Sean: … You probably couldn't call me sober, though.
Charles: Oh, my God…
Charles: You have made it quite obvious that none of you know how to behave.
Erik: Quit your bitchin'.
Charles: Alright! Who got into the alcohol?
Sean: Hehehehehehehehehe…. Alcohol ain't all you need…
Alex: Fuck, Sean!
Sean: But we already did today.
[The sound of a slap can be heard.]
Hank: I-I don't think it's polite to make information about relations in the bedroom obvious.
Raven: What do you know?
Charles: Shut up! This is where we first see Moira.
Erik: You know that was a fucking experiment.
Charles: Look at her… taking her clothes off… she needs to put some clothes on.
Alex: Perfectly heterosexual reaction.
Raven: You're one to talk…
Erik: So, Emma Frost… right here. Crystalizing up in this bitch.
Charles: Okay, okay… Erik. You're drunk.
Erik: Nope. Just a shark.
Alex: Moira's kinda a snoop.
Sean: Yeah. I'd be kinda creeped; I mean, couldn't Emma tell she was there?
Hank: Technically, when Emma's in her diamond form she can't telepathically communicate.
Sean: She could've beforehand.
Hank: I suppose it just wasn't thought about.
Erik: Be quiet; we have moved on! I'm in this bar in Argentina.
Raven: And you're about to kill people! You're kinda heartless.
Erik: That's cool; you were just an experiment, too.
Raven: Jerk.
Erik: Look at that picture of Shaw… hanging up. Pathetic.
Charles: So you kill everyone in there?
Erik: Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Alex: Blood and Honor, eh?
Erik: Blood, it is.
[Sean and Alex yell; Hank screams.]
Sean: That was scary as fuck!
Charles: Sean!
Alex: He's right.
Erik: I'm a badass… controlling that gun… that someone else is holding.
[Everyone but Erik and Charles scream.]
Raven: This is so violent!
Erik: … I guess you could say I'm Frankenstein's monster… and I'm trying to find my creator.
Sean: You're pretty hardcore. Killing people. In a cool-ass way.
Charles: Is everyone drunk?
Alex: Haven't we gone over this?
Charles: You're all grounded.
[Hank, Alex, and Sean groan.]
Erik: I'm a badass shark. Shooting people.
Charles: There are somany more ways you could have handled that.
Erik: … Nag.