Disclaimer: I don't own HP, which I'm sure you are all thankfully glad for as I probably would have ruined the stories XD

Responsibility

The water ran raggedly over his scars, old and new, some seeping an angry red fluid under the hot stream rushing down his body. The steam was stuck in the air circling around and around. I couldn't see much staring in through the thick haze, but every one of his movements seemed to cause him pain. Finally he shut the water off. Stepping or more accurately stumbling as it were from the shower, a pair of hands had encased a towel over his shoulders hiding his body from view. The hands pulled him to sit on a bench near the shower door. The towel was intermittently becoming dabbed in blood. The hands removed the towel covering him then proceeded to run themselves over his wounded being. He winced every time they brushed a new cut. A torrential wave of jealousy overthrew me. Why couldn't it have been me running my hands over his body like that? But I knew it would never be. I sat and watched intently as those hands healed him, wrapping his wounds in bandages, soothing them with his delicate touch. His burning amber eyes searched upwards, seeking his self-apparent healer. A face then came into view framed with wavy ink black hair and extraordinary grey eyes. I knew what would happen next but even then I didn't turn away. The amber eyed boy raised his hands to cup the face opposing him and slowly brought their faces closer to one another in a sweet passionate kiss.
"Sirius" he whispered.

It was so wrong to be watching this but really I couldn't care less. Sirius pulled the amber eyed boy carefully onto his lap, moving their tongues together. This time it was Sirius who moaned and began to thrust against the bandaged boy, apparently it was well received as they began frotting together. I couldn't help myself as I stared, feeling myself grow hard they were both a picture of indescribable beauty. It's in the aftermath that my heart weeps though, in the way they kiss each other down and whisper sweet nothings. How I wish I could have something like that something so true. But I know I cannot. I know it will never happen. I hate myself for that but more importantly I hate them. No matter what happens in the future I know I'll always hold them responsible for that dilapidating pain in my chest. That pain that crushes the oxygen from my being until nothing resembles air in my lungs and the only convincing way to retain it is by pitifully gasping at the emptiness around, until it's the only thing that matters anymore. I am alone and for that they shall always remain responsible.

AN: This I think is as smutty as I've ever written and then again it's not even very graphic but none the less I hope you enjoyed and please don't forget to review if indeed you did enjoy. Also I would like to apologise for my terrible grammar hopefully it's not too bad in this one I like to think it progresses with each new fiction I write but we'll see, so enjoy and don't forget to review. Really there's not much to say about Peter in this fic, It's just my way of showing the elements that made him into the bastard it seemed he was destined to be.
Love Sam