Untouchable

You're untouchable. Burning brighter than the sun and when you're close I feel like coming undone.

Everything between them was complicated to say the least, but that never bothered him, in fact it fascinated him in ways he could not understand. He was very aware of the feeling increasing deep inside of his heart whenever he saw her; still he chose not to do anything. Yet. The time passed by and he felt the feeling taking over him in a way he could not comprehend, that scared him more than anything.

It was complicated now because they were friends, close friends, and being around her was already too much for him. They developed a kind of strong bond that came out of nowhere and took over him. He could never imagine she felt the same, only with her the fear was deeper. Everything she did was cautiously planned when she was around him. The fear of showing what she really felt was intense and took over her every time she laid eyes on him.

If only she knew he felt the same. But she didn't, and her fear reached to a breaking point, where nothing in the world could convince her that he would ever return her feelings. She started to question if she was good enough to even be around him, because even though she was horrible to him, he was always around. He was there, and he never left, and that scared her more than anything. She thought that he would leave sooner or later; she waited for it like someone who waits for the night. She knew it was inevitable.

Senior year of school, the four of them, now including Brad, made sure they would get into the same college, so they could be together. She managed to get accepted into Boston University, with his help of course. And her fear was somewhat dying down, but didn't fade completely. He couldn't be happier that they would be together; he didn't have to worry if she would go away and find someone else, because he would be around and his chance would come.

Right before college, he felt like it was time to announce his feelings. The anticipation was eating him alive; he needed to let it out. His good friends, Brad and Carly told him to just do it, make a move and get it done. So he went for it, one cold night, he took her to the fire escape, where they shared their first kiss, and told her how he felt.

Once again, fear took over her. She didn't know how to act, she always thought he was untouchable and out of her reach. She never thought he would feel this way about her, so she ran as fast as she could. She figured he would find her eventually, so when he did she just stuck to her denial. She softly said she didn't feel the same; she lied, like many times before, only this time she actually hurt him. He couldn't understand how he mistook her signs, he thought she felt the same, but two weeks before college, she met Anthony.

When she met Anthony, her thoughts ran straight to him, not the guy standing in front of her, but she thought it could be a way out, because she was too terrified to try. And she regretted the same moment she introduced him to her new boyfriend. Seeing the hurt in his face, made her want to give up and just throw herself at his arms. But Sam Puckett never gives up. Anthony was her little escape from the feelings that overwhelmed her completely, but she never liked him. Sure he was nice, but when it was time to go to college, she would dump him because he wasn't important enough and never would be.

Three days before college starts, fate decided to teach her a lesson. A lesson about love, truth and bravery. A letter that got lost in the mail finally made its way to him. It found him and changed his life completely. Heartbroken, he decided that distance would do him some good, so without telling anyone he changed his life, his future and his destiny. But he acted like nothing had happened, when he packed his things and said goodbye to his mother.

On the day they supposed to go to Boston, Freddie Benson announced his change of plans. Oxford University accepted him, so he changed his mind and instead of going to Boston like his friends, he decided to go to England. The news hit her like a train, she was unable to talk or move. Her heart was crushed, because the time she thought she had to come in terms with her feelings for him no longer existed.

Carly and Brad were upset, mad and sad, but in the end they promised to keep in touch. She couldn't form words, because her mind was blank. He was going away. And it was all her fault. Unable to think straight she did what she does best, she pretended, lied and deceived. And the goodbye he got from her was a handshake and a "good luck dork." Nothing ever hurt like that, but he figured it wasn't her fault she didn't feel the same way about him, not knowing that in fact she was just a big coward.

That afternoon he got into a plane she got into another. She locked herself in the bathroom claiming to have stomach issues and cried most of the trip. He landed in England, willing to build a new life there, as far away from her as possible. Because deep inside he knew he was running away from her, and that he couldn't deal with being her friend. With being around her. He couldn't look at her without feeling a sharp pain on his chest, so he gave up, she would never love him, and he needed to move on. The first months in Boston seemed empty and cold without him, but then she realized it wasn't Boston, it was her life. Her life was empty without his presence and cold without his warmth.

Holyday break, he supposed to go to Seattle to visit, but his roommate John dragged him to Tuscany to his family's vineyard. Mrs. Benson wasn't the only one crushed, all of his friends were, especially Sam, who anticipated that visit. She longed for him, to talk to him, to see him, but he never came. He called, and video chatted, but that wasn't enough for her. She couldn't find the strength to move on, because she was too busy realizing how stupid she was; she lost him when he was hers, when he was there. At her reach. Summer break he was too busy backpacking through Europe to come home. And the next break, Mrs. Benson and Brad went to visit. But he never came.

The second year of college, Carly moved in with Brad, leaving Sam on her own. The contact they promised to keep died down, and slowly faded away. He no longer wanted the contact; it killed him every time he heard her voice, or saw her face on the computer monitor. She had a few dates, but he was constantly on her mind, he never left, and the unresolved feelings remained in her heart, always reminding her of what she lost. She knew that he made new friends, and that his old friends would be forgotten, all of them, but Brad. Brad was something else entirely. He was his "best" friend, and the two of them shared a deeper bond, like herself and Carly.

Years later, on Carly and Brad's wedding she was sure she would see him. He wouldn't miss his best friend's wedding. And she was right, there he was. At least someone that vaguely reminded her of him, because the Freddie Benson she knew, was somewhere in the past. This new person he became was way too different from the dork she fell in love with. He was head of a multinational technology company, an important man at the age of twenty five, rich and handsome. After Mrs. Benson permanently moved to New Jersey, she didn't have any information about Freddie, because she wasn't brave enough to ask Carly or Brad.

Honestly, she didn't care if he had become someone else, the moment she laid eyes on him, she knew she could find the old Freddie somewhere inside that stranger she once knew. She was so focused on his deep brown eyes, that she didn't notice the addition to his hand. A pretty British, with eyes like the sunny sky. A tall brunette, with thousands of freckles and amazing smile. His fiancée. The love of his life. The mother of his unborn child. She acted cool, because what else was there to do, but on the inside she was dying.

She had waited for that so long, just to find out his heart was out of reach. Because when he was hers, he was all hers, and now there was nothing there for her. She was the old friend that stayed behind. After the wedding he came out to think and found her sitting in the porch of the white inn where their friends got married. He sat down next to her and they talked about life. They laughed and told each other stories. In the end of the night, he rubbed her arm and said:

"When I loved you I loved all of you, and I meant it, too bad things weren't mean to be"

Just when he left, she knew that now he was out of her reach.

Untouchable.

So when, seventeen years old Samantha Puckett woke up from her daydream, that cold night, with Freddie Benson calling her name, she couldn't believe where she was. He was there, in front of her, seventeen years old, the same nerdish clothes, the same combed hair, the same brown eyes. Confessing his love for her, and she couldn't believe it was all a daydream, because when he told her he loved her, she imagined life without him, and she knew that wasn't the life she wanted.

He nervously asked if she felt the same, and without much hesitation, she threw herself at his arms, kissing him like her life depended on it. When they broke apart, he smiled so widely, she thought his face would break in half, but she mirrored his gesture, offering him the same kind of wide smile. His arms wrapped around her, and he brought her closer for a lingering hug, and in her ear he whispered:

"I love you. I love all of you and I mean it. I'm sure we are meant to be"

Three days before college, a letter that got lost in the mail finally made its way to him. It found him and changed his life completely. He got accepted into MIT, so he changed his plans. After a long talk with his friends, he decided to go to MIT and major in computer engineering. He would be only a few minutes away from her, and she was happy for him. The first break they got from college, he decided to take her to Tuscany, and he always wanted to meet Italy. The next break they decided to backpack through Europe. Her life was complete.

The second year of college, they decided to move in together, and so did Brad and Carly. The apartment they rent wasn't all that fascinating, but as long they were together nothing was all that important. They spent most of the time in the bedroom anyway. Of course they still fought, it was something inevitable for them, but whenever they fought, they always ended up in the bedroom, or somewhere completely naked.

At the age of twenty five, Freddie Benson was saying goodbye to Sam Puckett. She was saying goodbye too. She was only minutes away from saying goodbye. Two months earlier, he went back to Seattle, to his mother's apartment, and took her to the famous fire escape, where so many of their important moments happened. He went down on his knee and took a little black box out of his pocket.

"Do you mind if I call you Princess Benson from now on?"

That's why he is saying goodbye to Sam Puckett now, as she walks down the aisle, about to become Sam Benson. Even in the happiest of the days, like her wedding day, Sam always remembers the daydream she had that night in the fire escape, many years ago and how it felt so real. She didn't fear anymore, but she wondered, how life could have been if that wasn't a daydream.

Sitting on the porch, one summer afternoon, Sam fed her little girl, while watching Freddie play with the twins. Two brown eyed and blond haired boys running around him, giving him a hard time, because they were partially Puckett anyway. She smiled at the sight. She didn't need to imagine life without him, because as far as she was concern, he was hers, he was there. On her reach.

She could touch him, feel him, and smell him. He was no longer untouchable.

Untouchable like a distant diamond sky. I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why, I'm caught up in you.

I'm caught up in you.