Diclaimer: I don't own the characters or the series. Amano Akira does. I'm just playing with them for a bit.
The Last Page
"Sometimes, people ask me if I regret anything in my life.
It is true that during a life such as mine, there are things one must do that are not always true to our hearts. However, if we were to wallow on each one with regret and sorrow, it would eventually either break us or harden us to the point where no regret is ever possible. Therefore, instead of regretting anything, I have always aimed to shoulder my responsibilities and learn from my mistakes instead of grieving for that which I cannot change anymore.
Certainly, there are things I might do in a different manner, were I given the chance to live my life again, knowing the things I do now. For one thing, I would never allow Romario to set foot in that car that robbed me of his constant support. One word from me, one more request, would have delayed him long enough that he would have never ended up in that accident. Do I regret not doing so? No. I never knew what would happen; I bid him a quick goodbye in the well-founded belief I would see him not many hours from then. I did nothing I should be ashamed for, and even if another action from me might have changed the events afterwards, I had no way of knowing that. I am sure Romario, the one who always gave me such good advice, would not want me blaming myself for something that was neither my intention nor my fault. It took me some time to accept back then, yes, but I do believe so now.
Did I ever regret not taking a wife, not following the traditions, not having a child of my own? Not even once. As much as some may disapprove of my actions, they were the sole course of actions possible for me. I never could have married another, not for the sake of my own reputation any more than I could have done so for the sake of my family, much though I may love the Cavallone. I did right by my own heart and soul, and I like to think that in doing so, I also found the way for even further prosperity for Cavallone. My son may not be mine by blood, but he is indeed a child of my heart, and a fine and true heir to the name. I could never regret choosing to call him mine.
Most important of all, I have never, not for a moment, felt any regret over my choice of a lover. Guilt, sometimes, but that I was always quick to shed; regret, never. I chose a partner I knew would be strong enough to stand by me, my equal on every account, my perfect match in mind and body and heart. And I was right in my choice. I never could have chosen anyone better to share the joys and sorrows of my life.
A full life it has been, too. One full of joy and sorrow alike, full of duty and freedom and loyalty and love, and countless precious things I already have listed throughout the pages of these memories. I never had a wife, but instead I got the most wonderful lover I could ever hope for. I never held my newborn child, but the child I took as my own and the grandchildren he has gifted me with bring me joy every day. I never did things the way I was supposed to, but then I guess that is partly why I have such a successful family and so many precious friends, even despite the shadows of my work."
There was a hand set on his shoulder before a few strands of dark hair brushed against his temple, followed by a kiss to his cheek. Dino wasn't startled by the sudden contact. He'd never heard the door closing, never heard soft footsteps crossing the lush carpet, but he had known he would have a visitor. Kyouya always had the best timing.
"You done yet?" asked a soft voice at his ear. "We're nearing dawn already."
"Almost, darling." He could see the raised eyebrows at the endearment in his mind's eye, his lips curling slightly as he continued on to the last couple of paragraphs. "Just let me finish this."
"As long as you don't take forever." The ghost of a warm breath before Kyouya drew away, his hand lingering on Dino's shoulder. "Is this everything, then?"
"Everything about everything, yes," Dino replied, glancing at the stack of paper to his side, each sheet full of his handwriting, line after line after line. He almost pitied whatever poor bastard would have to go through it all. "My life, or all I remember of it, anyway. All the way up to now." Even as he spoke, he continued writing. He knew better than to make Kyouya wait, after all.
"It might be kind of tricky to write your memories about the future, hmm?" The smirk was well audible in Kyouya's voice, his fingertips brushing against the side of Dino's neck, now, before moving further up to stroke his hair. It was white in its entirety, now, had been for years. When his eldest granddaughter had been younger, she'd often said he was like a mountain, tall and with snow on top. Kyouya had always smirked and made some comments about climbing atop a mountain that had made the adults flush and stutter while the child had remained blissfully clueless about the innuendo.
Dino preferred not to say anything, knowing Kyouya could easily coax even such simple comments into a long-winded conversation, instead opting to finish the page. He then set aside his pen and his glasses, stretching before leaning slowly back in his chair. Closing his eyes for a moment, he then opened them again, standing up.
"Feeling any better?" Kyouya asked with a soft tone.
"Much better, thanks." Dino smiled. "It's good to finally have all that off my shoulders." He took one last glance at the manuscript before he turned to look at Kyouya. Unbidden, a bright smile crept onto his face.
"You're staring, Bucking Horse." Kyouya sounded quite amused. "Like what you see?"
"You look as young as ever, my love." He gave Kyouya a soft smile. "You never did age a day..." He never did. The dark eyes were still as sharp as ever, the messy hair still black as ink and as thick as when he had first met the irate middle-schooler. Kyouya always had been a beauty.
"Of course not." His smile was returned with a smirk, a smug and self-satisfied smirk that nevertheless held a touch of something that might almost be called affection. "I wouldn't be that weak."
"I would never dare suggest that you were." He did know Kyouya better than that, after all. "So. Shall we go then?"
"If you're done with that." Kyouya nodded towards the desk and the chair, then turned before Dino could even answer, assuming that if he got up, he was done writing. Even as he made to walk, though, his hand brushed briefly against Dino's in a gesture that was much too innocent to be accidental. Dino hid his grin and followed Kyouya across the room.
"Was there always a door here?" He blinked as they came to a halt. Far as he could remember, this wall had always been plain and solid, with no doors leading anywhere; certainly not the manner of an old, Japanese sliding door Kyouya had always preferred.
Kyouya, of course, merely chuckled, reaching one hand towards Dino, the other resting on the doorframe. "You're getting old, Bucking Horse," he replied. "Of course there is a door. How do you imagine I got in?"
"Ah, right. Of course." Dino nodded in understanding, grasping onto Kyouya's hand. "Show me the way? My eyes aren't what they used to be."
"Does it matter?" He certainly saw the teasing smirk on Kyouya's lips. "You will trip over your own feet regardless." Even as he spoke, though, he slowly slid the door open, allowing the gentle light of dawn to flood the room.
"You'll pull me up again, though, won't you?"
A chuckle followed his question. "As though I'd let go of you now."
Dino laughed and followed him into the light. The door slid shut behind them, leaving the quiet study and the lonely figure in the chair by the desk sheltered in the soft cloak of shadows. The only thing illuminated were the last words on the page, set apart from the darkness of the room by the bright gaze of the desktop lamp.
"Do I have any regrets? One, and one alone. The one thing I do regret is allowing Kyouya die before me. He never did have much patience, and now I have made him wait for years. I'm sure I'll be hearing all about my cruelty in abandoning him thus. He always loved making me feel miserable, after all.
I was asked to write my life down for you all to read, both the good things and the bad. I have written it all down within these pages. If anyone ever has the courage to go through them all, congratulations! You now know my life in its entirety. Though even then, I'm sure no amount of words will ever be enough to give you an accurate picture of just how much I love my precious, precious Kyouya.
He's come to get me, now. I suppose this is my cue to stop rambling. It would be most rude of me to make him wait any more.
I love you all, my friends, my family. Live your lives without regrets.
We will be happy."