Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Richelle Mead's brilliant series, or her story lines.

CHANGE

Just when you think life becomes steady, and you know exactly where you're heading, you get thrown a curve ball – or ten. Welcome to my life. It all started on one dreamlike night. I slept with Dimitri, the absolute love of my life – my soul mate. It had been magical, it was everything I had ever imagined it could be, and more. He had been so gentle, caring and loving. I had never felt so good before in my life, being with him – as one – was beyond words. After we had finished I sensed strigoi near. The academy was attacked, many students – dhampir and moroi – and teachers, as well as guardians, lost their lives. The strigoi left the academy with several other hostages, and although it wasn't expressed in words, we all knew why. Eddie was one of the ones that had been taken, and the thought of losing him like I had Mason caused my heart to shatter inside my chest. A rescue part was formed, and we got most of them back, Eddie included. In the process we lost some of our rescue party, but it was still considered a success. I got injured pretty bad and ended up in the infirmary for a week, most of that time I spent unconscious. I was told Dimitri had stayed by my side the entire time, Lissa had healed me a little each day, and after eight days I was well enough to leave.

Life went on as normal for a few weeks after that. I had my training sessions with Dimitri each morning and afternoon, and classes all day. Graduation was fast approaching, and I needed to make sure I was ready to complete my final trials. It annoyed me that Dimitri was making sure I was taking it easy. I was healed, you would never have guessed I almost died at the hands of a strigoi, but he just kept telling me he wasn't taking any chances. He limited my training to running, medium weights and the punching bags – but only if I didn't work myself too hard. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't the only one who put me on the lame restrictions. My combat classes were pretty much the same story. No sparring. So basically all I could do was sit and watch everyone else train. It was driving me insane.

It was around four weeks after the attack that I started feeling sick. It generally happened as soon as I woke up in the morning, and passed as soon as my stomach contents were flushed. It didn't really worry me at first, I just put it down to stress finally catching up with me. I still ate the same amount of food, even though I wasn't training nearly as much as I usually did, and I started finding that I couldn't stand the thought of eating certain foods. Doughnuts. I had loved doughnuts for as long as I could remember, I ate them at every chance I got. But I couldn't even stand the thought of having one even remotely close to me. People's taste change over time, I just grew out of the doughnut phase, I told myself. Looking back on it, I know I was in denial. I didn't want to think there was even the slightest possibility something might have been wrong with me.

Soon after the sickness and changes in taste started I began getting incredibly moody. At the drop of a hat I could be crying, or yelling, or as happy as I could be. That's when others started noticing something was up with me. I made excuses that I wasn't sleeping properly, I was having nightmares, or anything else that seemed good at the time. They seemed to buy them to some extent, but I saw in their eyes as the days went by that they were starting to question the excuses I gave them.

"Little dhampir," Adrian started one day. "You're not yourself these days, and I'm not the only one who's noticing. You know you can talk to me right?" He asked, caution laced his body language.

"I wouldn't trust you with a mile in between us," I snapped at him. I knew it was a little over kill, but I just couldn't help it.

"This is what I'm talking about Rose. One minute you're happy, and the next you're snapping at anyone who walks past you. You're starting to give us all whiplash," he said as a smirk played on his lips.

"Butt out Adrian, there's nothing going on, so just leave me the hell alone."

I stormed away from him, but I knew he was right. There was something up with me, I just had no idea what it was. It was extremely rare for a dhampir to get sick, we got a super immune system from the moroi. But when we did get sick, it was so bad – like the disease Victor Dashkov had – there was rarely a cure for our diseases and illnesses.

The morning after my altercation with Adrian I went to the infirmary. I didn't want to be sick, but I knew I needed to face the music, I needed to know what was happening to me. What Dr Olendzki gave me was something I could never have expected. I had told her the symptoms that I was experiencing, she looked at me funny. She knew me – I had frequented the infirmary many times while I had been at the academy – but the way she looked at me then, it was as if she was looking at someone she had never met before. That look sent chills down my spine.

"You need to take this test," she said as she handed me a thin white stick. The look on my face must have been question enough because she continued. "What you have described to me Rose, well they are the classic signs of pregnancy."

I took the test off her and made my way to the bathroom. I'm not entirely sure how I got there, I could barely register that I had a brain, so my feet must have been moving on their own accord. I followed the instructions that came with the test and waited the three minutes in the bathroom stall. It was the longest three minutes of my life. When I finally looked at the test again, all that stared back at me was two perfectly straight pink lines in the result window. I was pregnant.

It was rare for a dhampir to get sick, but it was impossible for a dhampir to fall pregnant to another dhampir. And when I say impossible, I mean biologically it couldn't happen. There was something in our make-up that prevented it from occurring. And yet I was pregnant, and the only person I had ever had sex with was Dimitri, and he sure as hell was a dhampir. I sat down on the toilet lid, put my head between my knees and tried to steady my breathing. I was pregnant. I was having a baby. I was going to be a mum. I wasn't even eighteen.

After a while Dr Olendzki knocked on the bathroom door and asked if I was okay. Without a word I opened the door slowly and handed the test to her. She looked at it, and then back at me. Her face showed no judgement, just sympathy. She led me back to her office and sat me down in the chair I had occupied just before. She sat on the other side of her desk, seeming lost in thought.

"Do you know who the father is?" She asked gently.

"Yes." It was all I could manage to say.

"Are you considering an abortion?" She asked with caution.

I hadn't for a second considered killing the life slowly growing inside of me. I knew the baby was a miracle, he or she wasn't meant to be. I shouldn't have been pregnant to another dhampir. Could I really kill the life that already meant so much to me?

"No…not at all, I'm having this baby," I said honestly, conviction was strong in my voice.

"Okay," she said, seeming slightly pleased with my answer. "From the information you've given me, I would estimate that you are around six weeks along. And considering you almost died, I'm not sure what damage might have been done to the baby. However, in saying that, you haven't miscarried, so that would indicate that the baby wasn't affected nearly as bad as you were," she paused for a moment, it looked like she was considering something before speaking again. "Your final trials are to be held in, four months, is that right?"

I simply nodded. I knew where she was going with this line of conversation. I would have been five and a half months pregnant by the time the finals came around. Obviously too pregnant to complete them, I wouldn't pass, I wouldn't become a guardian. I hadn't given this any thought when I instantly dismissed the abortion solution, and yet it still wasn't an option. I knew my baby had to come first.

"You would be too far along to complete the trials," she said, confirming what I already knew. "I could try to organise something for you though. I could speak with Guardian Petrov, maybe we could bring your trials forward by two or three months, that way you could still graduate. From what I've heard about your accomplishments you are more than ready to complete them. Still, we would need to ensure that none of the guardian's would make any impact with your abdominal area…"

"I think, I just need some time to process all of this," I interrupted, my voice slightly shaking.

"Okay, I will need to give you some vitamins which will help ensure the health of your baby," she said as she stood from her chair and walked towards a filing cabinet. She riffled through one of the draws before pulling out a brightly coloured pill bottle. "Take one a day, with some food," she instructed as she handed them to me. "They are based on the human formula, but they are a strength that is better for us. Now I will need you to come back soon so we can discuss your diet and some other things you will need to know for your pregnancy. Oh and we will need to schedule an ultrasound so we can see how the baby is developing."

"Thank you," I said quietly as I stood from my chair and walked towards the door.

I slowly walked back to my dorm room, I knew I should have headed for class, but I just couldn't find the strength to go in any other direction. I got back to my room, locked the door behind me and collapsed onto my bed. My head was spinning with everything I had just found out. Tears slowly began to leak from my eyes, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew that it was stupid of me to want to keep the baby, but I also knew I couldn't kill him or her. I wondered if I could still be a guardian while pregnant, or even after I had the baby. I wondered how Dimitri would react to the news, would he be happy? I wondered how it would affect his career as a guardian.

After much debate, I decided I needed to tell him, he needed to know he was going to be a father. I knew he had always wanted a family of his own, and I was going to give that to him, I wanted it to make him happy. I prayed it would make him happy. I decided that after I told him I would let everyone else know. And after that I would see Roberta myself to see if anything could be arranged so that I would still be able to graduate.

I pulled myself from the bed and made my way to the bathroom. My eyes were red and slightly puffed, crying had been a good release, but it made me look like hell. I splashed water on my face and quickly changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top once I was back in my room. It was time for my afternoon training session with Dimitri. I had missed my morning session, and I was sure he was going to be pissed about that. I saw in my head how it was all going to play out. He'd yell at me for missing the session, I would tell him why, then he would wrap his arms around me and all would be good.

When I got to the gym I saw I had been right about him being pissed. He stood against the wall across from the door, his arms were crossed. He had his head resting back against the wall, his eyes staring at the ceiling, it was as though there was something absolutely captivating up there, but I couldn't see it.

"Hey, Comrade, I'm sorry I missed training this morning…" I started, but was cut off by his intense, and very angry glare.

"This is not the time to be slacking off Rose," he said, I flinched at the use of my name. Normally he called me Roza. I could tell he was straining not to yell at me.

"I had to go to the infirmary," I said quickly before he could continue. "I haven't been feeling well the past couple of weeks, so I went to get it checked out. So I'm sorry I missed the session, but I promise you I'm slacking off."

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern laced his voice instead of the previous anger.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little surprised is all," I said feeling a slight blush creep along my cheeks.

"Are you sick, or is it just stress?" He asked, still probing me to make sure I was okay.

"Neither," I said softly. "I'm pregnant Dimitri." I all but blurted it out.

His glare was as cold as ice in a blizzard. I had been made aware of my mood swings, and in that moment I wondered if they were contagious. Dimitri had gone from angry to concerned, and following close behind that was this – I wasn't even sure what this was. He made sure his guardian mask was firmly in place, preventing me from seeing any sort of emotion. Though if I had to guess I would have gone with disgust, possibly disbelief. I was confused. He should have been happy, I was carrying his baby. The one thing I knew he wanted. But instead his glared cut through me like frozen razor blades.

"What?" I croaked out.

"How could you do this?" He asked quietly, his head flopped forward, breaking his fierce glare.

"How could I do what?" I asked, even more confused than I was before

"I opened up to you, I told you, I showed you how much I love you. And you go and sleep with someone else," he yelled, the tone of his voice broke my heart, it held so much pain.

"But I didn't…" I started, but he cut me off again.

"I don't want to hear it," he yelled. "I thought you were better, but now I see I was wrong. You're nothing but a slut Rosemarie."

I staggered backwards from the force of his words, it felt like I'd been punched in the gut, and hard. He didn't believe that it was his baby. He wouldn't let me explain anything to him. That hurt me, but not more than him calling me a slut. I turned and ran out of the gym without another word. Tears streamed down my face as I ran past the other students, they just stared as I bolted past them. I felt a surge of emotions hit me through the bond. Lissa had seen me, but I didn't stop until I got back to my room. I quickly locked the door and sunk to the floor. Thoughts pounded inside my head, it took me a moment to realise it wasn't just my thoughts, someone was bashing on my door.

"Rose, open up now!" Lissa yelled through the door. "I know you're in there Rose. Please just open the door," she pleaded.

I ignored her. I couldn't see her, I couldn't see anyone. My heart was shattered, I was broken. Most of my heart had been left behind me in the gym as I fled. He didn't believe me. He actually thought I would sleep with someone else straight after him? I couldn't even begin to comprehend that. After a while I heard Lissa's footsteps melt away down the hall. I dragged myself up from the floor and went to my desk. I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.