It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.
The Merovingian, The Matrix: Revolutions
Stockholm Syndrome
"Welcome to your lucky day, Rarity. You've found the one thing in Equestria that could rival my face for sheer beauty. What do you think? You like?"
Oh please. I'm just a boulder. You know that, this...Rarity knows that, and...
"Yes...I like very much..."
What? What is this? Where's all this light coming from? Why is this dragon...chimera...thing using me like this? Why is this pony staring at me like I'm anything more than a boulder? Why...oh, never mind. She's leaving now. Well, that was interesting, but...
"Mine!"
Ow...ow! Stop it! Stop it! Those hoofs hurt. I mean, yes, I'm a rock but ow! Watch the face, watch the face!
"Well Rarity. It took forever but it was worth it."
If you say so. I'll just nurse by poor granite and...
"Who knew three little gemstones would turn out to be this handsome hunk of a diamond?"
Diamonds? Gemstones? I mean, I appreciate the comments, but...
"Now to get you home..."
I don't know what to say. Granted, I can't speak, but if I could, I...oh, where to start? This pony thinks I'm a diamond, not a boulder. And she's now carrying me on her back, through the maze. And more ponies have come to stare at me...at her. Maybe they can stop this kidnapping in progress and-...
"This big beautiful bedazzling rock is a diamond!" the now obviously insane unicorn exclaims in response to the lavender unicorn's query. "And it's all mine..."
No...save me! Save me!
"And keep your envious little eyes off it! I found it and its mine, fair and square!"
No! Please! Keep your eyes on me! It's not hers! It's not square! Save me! Save meeeeee!
The grass, the clouds, the chocolate...wait, what? Have I gone so insane as to think there's a puddle of chocolate milk beside me? I mean...wait...
I'm being kidnapped!
Not only am I being taken by a unicorn without a horn (go figure), but the other unicorn without a horn is helping her! This is aiding and abetting! And it seems that the non-insane unicorn seems willing to put up with her friend's insanity by sharing the load.
"Thanks Twilight."
So that's her name. I'll remember that name, you aiding and abetting...
"But don't get any ideas about my gem!" the insane one exclaims. "I know where you live..."
And do you know where I live? Are you going to return me after this diamond tirade? I mean, I appreciate the comments, but I'm still...you know, being kidnapped and all. Even as the lavender one takes my load and starts yakking on about someone called Rainbow Dash (another insane pony no doubt), I can't help but wonder how long this can go on.
"Well, lookey there. Rainbow Dash is flyin' away. She's abandonin' us."
"Now I know that's a lie."
Ow!
Alright, so your pegasus friend took off, that's great. But that doesn't mean you have the right to dump me to the ground like some common pebble! I...wait...wait!
"Well well well, somepony broke the no wings, no magic rule."
And some chimera...dragon...whatever! thing just broke the maze. Broke my home...buried my friends. I'm feeling less like granite and more like basalt every second. The thing laughs, and he's the only one that's laughing.
I wish I could laugh.
I wish I could cry...
"Uh, Rarity?"
Oh no. Can't you just let me grieve in peace?
"This here diamond of yours? Twilight said we should split it six ways since we...er, found it together."
Oh no you don't you hillbilly...
Hi-ya!
What in the...
"Try it punk!" the white unicorn exclaims. "He's mine. All mine!"
I know I should roll by zircon shards at this, but I can't help but feel touched. Granted, I'm in the company of insanity, but I can't help but feel touched by this. This Rarity...I'm hers...I'm being defended by her...I mean, rocks don't need defending, nor should they be kidnapped, but...well...aw, shucks...
"Don't touch my gem," Rarity tells the hillbilly as she takes me away to...wherever. Don't have a home now, but...
"I'm touching your gem, Rarity."
Help! She's touching my special area!
It's uncomfortable, it's disconcerting, but with this insane unicorn, I feel...safe. Safe from pegasi, earth ponies...whatever the hell Discord is...I feel...well, dry now, considering the downpour of chocolate rain has stopped and we're off...wherever.
Hmm...this could be interesting.
You know what? I've realized something. This unicorn isn't insane. The world is.
The sun setting and rising in the space of minutes...stampeding rabbits...violations of gravity...checkerboard roads...the road's gone to the dark side of the moon. A nightmare...yet as I'm carried along by this unicorn, I find it bearable. I don't know if I can find my place in this new world, or make new friends with the rocks of this upside down town, but...wait, why have we stopped outside the library?
Uhh...uhh...
Oh...I'm too heavy. Poor dear. I should really lose weight...wait...yes, two separate words. I'm being kidnapped aren't I? Yes, the world's insane, but that doesn't mean I should seek the company of those who revel in this new world. Case in point...
"Forget it Twilight," the unicorn says as she's asked to leave me to the outside world. "I know what you're up to. The second I go in, you'll have your little minion Spike come and take Tom!"
"Tom?"
Tom? Did she...call me...Tom? As in, name me...gave me...a name? And is she refusing to leave my side, protecting me from this Spike character? Is she worried about me as I crash through the flimsy wooden walls, worrying about her "Tom's" finish?
I...I...I don't know what to say (yes, I know I can't speak!). I've...never had a name before. This...oh Rarity...you don't know how you've made me feel. This is...the best feeling ever. To be named...to be recognised as a person...oh Rarity, I can live with your insanity. If this is what love is, I want to be insane as well.
"What do you think you're doing? Get away from my gem! Get away from him!"
Yeah, get away! We're happy here! Go away you...wait...wait...what's happening? What's all this light? Why is Rarity becoming less grey? Why...why...why am I being moved out the door? I...oh, wait. It's just to get away from her nasty friends. That's it. We're still together. Still insane. Still in...
"Let us never speak of this again."
Aw, you forgive them? That's sweet, but...wait...wait...where are you going? You can't leave me! You can't go with them! No! Come back, my love! I'm still your diamond! Your diamondddddd!
And so I wait. And wait. And wait. Even after the world returns to normal, I still wait. Wait until I see my love returning. Wait as I see her direct some helmeted colts to...take me away. Take me...
Wait! Wait! No! Rarity, please! Don't do this! It can still work! No, don't let them take me to the rock farm! No! Please!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!