Sam needed… something more tonight.

He just… he needed. That was all. That was it.

Gabriel was inside of him and that felt… that felt good. It felt great, it always had. He kept a hand on his erection, trying to keep it erect, and told himself that this was enough. It had to be.

Not again. Oh, God, not again.

Gabriel slowed to a stop, frowning down at Sam. "You okay, kiddo?"

He forced himself to nod. He was okay. He had to be okay.

Don't have those thoughts… don't… Just… don't.

Bad mind. We don't wander into those memories anymore, we don't need that shit anymore. We've had Gabriel for a year now and that was… that was something amazing. It was the longest time Sam had gone without turning to that sort of comfort.

But he had been pining after it bad the past few weeks. Tonight… no. Tonight was not the breaking point, he wasn't going to break.

He couldn't. He had broken while he had been with Jessica and she had left him, disgusted. He had broken while he had been with Madison, and she had had left him, disturbed. He had broken while he had been with Lucifer… and he had taken advantage of him, had given him more than he had ever wanted to take.

"I-I'm okay."

"You're not." Gabriel slid out of him, still erect.

Sam swallowed and rolled his hips, hoping he'd come back. He needed him to come back, to assure him that he was okay… he needed that more than anything else in the world. Because if he couldn't do this…

Then it was too late for him. And he couldn't have that!

He just couldn't…

Gabe was so much a part of him now, a part of his life. Hell, Gabe's brother was dating his brother and what if Gabe told Dean?

"I am," he tried again. He flipped them over and slid back down on Gabe's length, pushing against him too harshly and…

Fuuuck, that felt so good… So hard, so deep, tearing him, and, shit, he wanted more…

"D-damn, Sammy, slow down there!" Gabe had his hands on his hips, trying to stall him. He was wearing a pained expression. "Jeez, what are you in a hurry for?"

Sam was shaking.

Oh, God, it was too late.

"Sammy?" Gabriel reached up and stroked his tears away with his thumb. "Whoa, Sammy, if you want to turn my junk to soup moving like that, go right on ahead, just… just don't cry, I can't handle your tears."

"I-I'm so sorry…"

"Talk to me, baby."

"I-I'm so sick, I'm a filthy sonofabitch…" Lucifer's words echoed in the back of his mind. "I'm a dirty whore, I'm used goods, I'm not fit for society…"

"You should just stay here, strapped to this bed, waiting for me. It's not like you have anything worthwhile outside this room, yes? Oh, there is your brother, but… Would he still consider you his brother if he knew of your disease?"

Gabriel slapped him, the back of his hand leaving an imprint on Sam's cheek. "I don't ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again."

Sam whimpered and his cock jerked in interest.

Both stilled instantly.

"Sammy…"

"I-I-I'm sorry…" He moved off of Gabe and grabbed his clothes, ignoring the precum that dribbles down between his thighs. "I-I'm going to go now…"

"Sammy, what the hell?"

"I'm sick, okay?" He snapped. "I like getting hurt, Gabe! A-and, I need it…" He closed his eyes and let himself remember.

He remembered bondage and sex toys, restraints and blindfolds, whips and flogs, all that jazz.

He remembered all the times he came so hard, he lost his freaking mind.

"I need it so bad, I haven't had it since I started dating you…" And it was all coming out at once… Why? Why couldn't he just walk away? Just let their relationship end awkwardly, but it would be so much better than telling the older man his filthy-as-fuck secret.

"Need… what?" Gabe was stalking across the bed, edging across the floor, but he wasn't going towards Sam. He was going towards his closet.

Sam had never been allowed to look in that closet, it had always been locked. A true mystery, but he had let it lie. It wasn't like Gabe was the only one keeping secrets, right?

"I need to be hurt, Gabe. I can feel it, I can feel… Fuck, I can feel it."

"Feel what?"

"The pain…"

"What kind of pain?"

Sam groaned and leaned against the wall. His hand wandered to his cock and he rubbed it from base to head, squeezing. "I want to be strapped up… I want to be fucked so hard, I'm turned inside out, I want to wear my lover's marks all over my body…"

And that should have been the easiest thing for Lucifer to do, except it had been the thing he had refused most. He hadn't wanted to scar Sam, he had thought he had been physically perfect, like a fucking masterpiece, and he had marked him only lightly. Bruises and scratches, things that would eventually disappear. His appeal had mostly been emotional.

Which was why Sam had eventually split from him. He had wanted a partner, not an abuser.

And there was a difference.

But Lucifer's influence had stuck with him.

"Oh, Sammy…" The younger male finally managed to look up and it was only to meet Gabriel's heated amber gaze. "Please tell me you're my soulmate."

His heart stopped, he swore. "W-what?"

Gabriel had a key in hand and he used it to unlock the closet door. It swung open to reveal shelves of sex toys. Bondage, floggers, whips, sex machines, cubbies full of dildos and nipple clamps, collars and leather. "Be mine, Sammy. And I'll mark you for life."

Sam whimpered and nodded, tongue rolling over his suddenly dry lips. "Oh, God, Gabe… I love you."

"Love you too, baby." Gabe grabbed a black blindfold off the door's hook and twirled it around his fingers. "Let me be your sadist, gorgeous."

"Please."

Gabe smirked and it was entirely predatory. "Safeword?"

"Dean." It had always been his safeword. Any word could be said accidently, but the one thing Sam would never say under any condition was his own brother's name. Gabe accepted it rather easily for knowing who Sam was talking about. "A-and yours?"

Gabe lifted an eyebrow. "I won't be the one getting hurt."

He couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, but I'm pretty hardcore. You might need to stop before I do."

"I'll keep that in mind."

~::~

"D-DEAN!"

Gabe chuckled into his ear. "Aw, but I was just getting started."

Like hell. If 'just getting started' took three hours, he didn't want to know how long it would have taken them to get down to business.

Sam's hands were held up by leather suspension cuffs, four buckles on each, and the rodeo ejaculating sex machine was fucking him raw, making rough, whirring sounds with each thrust.

What hurt the most, though, was the five-ring chastity device secured to his penis, keeping him so fucking hard and in so much pain, it wasn't even funny. Hell, it hadn't been funny to begin with, but that was just so many levels of agony, each ring tighter than the last, connected by a strip of leather… And it had his balls secured too, threatening to pinch off his sac between two of the nickel-plated circlets.

The blindfold was still there and a leather collar had been added with silver chains attached to it, ending in clamps that were torturing his nipples.

He hurt… He hurt… so bad… So fucking good. But too much, too soon…

He needed to come, he did, he really did.

Or else he was going to die. Simple as that.

Luckily, Gabe didn't make him repeat himself.

That wasn't how S&M worked. There was a safeword for a reason and that reason wasn't to be ignored.

Gabe turned the sex machine off and reached around him. With a large amount of lube and a pained scream from Sam, he managed to remove the hellish chastity device.

The moment it was off, he couldn't hold back anymore. "GABE!"

He came… long and hard, and it felt fucking good. He leaned back against Gabe's chest and the shorter man held him comfortably, pressing languid kisses to the back of his shoulders and neck, leading up and down his spine.

That gentle treatment… right after all that pain… Yeah, he cried. He couldn't help it, he had never been treated like this before after his lovers had found out about his needs.

"We'll go again when you're ready," Gabe breathed into his ear. "Just say when and I'll rock your body like you never thought could happen." He rutted against Sam's backside, showing him that he was rock-fucking hard.

The past three hours, Gabe had never once sought his own orgasm. He had set Sam up with different toys and different restraints, never letting him cum but never stopping giving him otherworldly pleasure either.

"Please," he begged, "please let it be your cock, no more toys, just give me you…"

"Sam." Gabe's voice was stony, demanding, and it was such a powerful, dominant voice that Sam whimpered and dipped his head to his chest, making himself small and obedient. Gabe soothed his frayed nerves with a hand along his side.

Sam had told Gabe, after Gabe had put the blindfold on him and started talking dirty, that he would need some time before they started doing that. He told him briefly about Lucifer and his verbal abuse and Gabe had instantly cooled it on the language.

He had accepted Sam's boundaries. Now he was being careful about them.

"I will tell you when I will enter you, Sammy. It will be when you will want me most, when you're so close to the edge that you will die if you don't have me, not even that you will think so, but you fucking will. And I will shove my huge cock up your tight ass and you'll be so desperate for me, you'll come before I'm even done entering you."

Gabe was eyeing him, making sure he wasn't taking the dirty talk too far. And his talking was filthy too, just unbelievable, but he could handle it. It wasn't like Gabe was trying to call him a whore again (though the first time, Sam knew he hadn't meant to actually offend him, he had just been finding out what turned him on).

He nodded furiously. "I-I want that… Please, sir."

They had agreed on that, Sam calling him 'sir' instead of 'master'. Lucifer had had him call him that.

Sam liked using superior titles for his dominants. It was just… it just made it feel so good to know who was in control of the situation and that was never him, he never wanted it to be him.

Gabriel kissed his cheek, then the corner of his lips, and lastly his mouth, turning him just so that way they met over Sam's shoulder. The machine's dildo was still up his ass and the shifting made it move right into his prostate. He whined low in his throat.

"You like that?" Gabriel murmured against his lips.

"W-want more of it…"

"Are you ready for more?"

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes."

"Then let me give you more. Let me give you everything you want, gorgeous." He rubbed his hands across Sam's clamped nipples, tugging at the chains connected to them, and the younger whimpered. "Let me love you the way you were meant to be loved."

"Yes, please."

Gabe licked his upper teeth, everything in his body language saying that he was the wolf and Sam was the lamb. Before long, the older man would devour him whole.

And all he could do, all he wanted to do, was let it happen.

~::~

The anal twist dildo was ten inches long, roughly four inches around. It felt bigger inside of Sam, though.

It felt overwhelming.

Or maybe that was the penis gag reaching down his throat, choking him. He sucked at it, like it was real, and he wished like a sonofabitch that it was Gabe's cock beating his esophagus. Instead, Gabe was pushing and pulling the rubber in and out of his ass, punching his prostate and everything else along the way.

He wished he could at least grab Gabe, hold onto something, but he couldn't. The leather bicep arm binders held his limbs firmly at his sides, almost behind his back, and all he could do was stretch and wiggle his fingers, slowly losing sensation.

"You're such a good boy, Sammy…" Gabe's hand shook as it settled on his waist, the other still pumping. "Such an innocent, why is someone as pure as you with me? Damn, kiddo, you think you're dirty? I think you're perfect, you just keep giving…. And you know what? You take a lot too, don't you? When I want you to take, you just never stop, do you?"

To show what he meant, he pushed harder on the dildo. Sam shoved back on him and groaned around the rubber gag. More, he wanted to say. Give me more.

He wanted Gabe. He wanted him so fucking hard, wanted him so deep he'd never leave…

He would die if he didn't have Gabe soon.

The older man must have caught that thought because he petted Sam's back, soothing him. "Not yet, gorgeous. I'm not done with you yet."

What more could there be?

He sobbed, actually cried, and he choked on the penis gag.

He wanted so bad…

~::~

Gabe took the blindfold off.

That was only so he could watch the blade come out of a small black box buried deep in the closet. It was nine inches long, gleaming brightly, and the handle had angel wings carved into it. Archangel was scripted along the duller edge of the metal.

Gabriel looked at Sam and he swallowed thickly. He knew better than to move, Gabe hadn't told him to move, but he almost wanted to… run. Maybe even call off again.

Sam's nights had never included cutting. There had been bondage and multiple intrusions, gags and the like, but no one had ever brought out knives before.

His hands shook, arms still in the binder, and he waited in fear.

His cock, at least, gave an excited twitch.

So he wasn't entirely against the idea, he supposed.

"Gorgeous, you're the one who wanted this."

He did?

"You said so yourself, 'I want to wear my lover's marks all over my body'. Well, these marks aren't going to go away anytime soon."

Oh, thank God.

"Do you still want that, Sammy? Do you still want my mark on your body, carved so deep into your skin you'll never forget me? Even if I die or we break up? You can answer me, Sammy."

"Y-yes, sir. Please, sir." He licked his lips nervously. "Make me yours."

Gabe kissed him deeply, fucking his mouth with his tongue. "Oh, beautiful, you've been mine for a while now."

"Make it permanent. I don't want anyone else, it'll be you or no one. Never again." How could he ever move on after this?

Yeah, he had thought the same thing after Lisa, but that had been the last and only time. Everyone after her hadn't mattered as much as she had. Until now. And this time… it was so much stronger. They were so different, infuriating each other at times, but they were so happy together… and now there was this and that was just mind-blowing.

Gabe's eyes twinkled. "That's what I wanted to hear, Sammy." He held the knife between them and Sam followed its edge down his body to where it rested over his heart. "I'm going to ruin you for anyone else, baby, now and forever."

The blade bit down and the scarring began.

~::~

Gabriel took a wet washcloth to his bleeding flesh. Cleaning away the excess fluid, Gabriel's cursive name was revealed across his breast. A date was marked between his hipbones.

Sam stared with awe at his own body. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to feel so proud about the fact that he was scarred forever now with someone else's name, like a branded sow.

He looked up and found himself level with, thank God, Gabe's pulsing erection. He was so hard, so very hard, that he was red and pre-cum streamed steadily down his slit.

Gabe looked down and found easily what so held his attention. He licked his lips hungrily. "Do you want something, Sammy?" He wrapped a hand around his length and pumped it slowly, the gland against Sam's lips. "Do you want to do something for me?"

He looked up at him desperately. "Please, sir?"

"Please, what, sir?"

"Please, let me suck your cock, sir."

Gabriel didn't answer. He just grinned and threaded his fingers through Sam's longish brown locks. When the younger man opened his mouth, about to take him down his throat, Gabe instead shoved him back and twisted his hand at just the right moment so that Sam landed on his hands and knees.

"No, Sammy. Right now, you can have me inside of you, so deep I'll be touching your heart."

Gabriel slid into him and, finally, finally, finally they were one again.

It was the greatest feeling in the world, to have Gabe bottoming out inside of him. He wasn't even that tight anymore, what with all the various objects that had violated him, but he felt the euphoria spreading through both of them, and it felt so fucking good… Just to have Gabe inside of him, real, throbbing flesh…

Gabe had been right. He wasn't even fully inside of Sam before he ejaculated again. This time, it hurt. Guys weren't supposed to come six times in one night.

What Gabriel hadn't warned him about was that he would have the same reaction.

He wasn't surprised though. How many hours had they been at this? How long had Gabe been orchestrating his pleasure and pain?

He looked over at the alarm clock next to the bed. Damn… Five hours.

He was going to go die now.

Gabriel was limp over him and Sam was so tired, he collapsed beneath their combined weight.

Thank God Gabe had taken the nipple clamps off. That would have been messy otherwise.

"I love you…" He turned his head to nuzzle Gabe's cheek. "I love you… so damn much."

"Love you too, Sammy. Mmmm… You smell good." He shoved his nose into the junction of his shoulder and neck.

"I smell like we just finished a five-hour sex marathon. That can't be that good."

"You smell like sweat and chocolate-flavored lube… And me, of course. A bit of iron there, too. Definintely some rubber."

"How does that smell good?"

"Because it's you, gorgeous. If you were covered in dog shit, you'd still smell sexy."

"Sir, ew."

Gabe laughed and rolled off his back, settling on the floor beside him. "Oh, Sammy, you're just precious." He reached out and petted Sammy's hair, love apparent in his warm amber eyes. "I'm going to have to marry you, aren't I?"

His heart stopped. "I-I don't know… are you?"

"I think I just might have to."

He hid his face in the man's chest.

Oh, thank you, God. Everything Lucifer had said… suddenly meant nothing.

Gabe wanted him. For now and forever. His name was across his chest and he wanted to marry him. How much more devotion do you want?

"Do I get a say in the matter?" he joked lightly, though his voice broke and he had to convince himself that it was because of all the hours of screaming and fucking catching up to him, making his throat raw.

"Nope. You either marry me or I lock you in the basement as my willing sex slave…"

"You don't have a basement."

"Then I'll get one and I'll shackle you in there… It'll be our little dungeon…" He licked his lips and he was obviously enjoying the fantasy.

"If I marry you, can we still have that?"

"Hell yeah."

Author's Note: I've been thinking about BDSM lately and how it seems to be so demonized… And then I was reading a few different stories, like 'The Demon in Me' by Lahtraya Obsidian Moon on Fanfiction, 'Playing the Scene' by twinsarien on Livejournal, and 'Now Accelerate Hard' by whithertits on Fanfiction. They inspired me! Also, there was a BDSM store website that urged me to write this…

Part 2 is going to be more hurt/comfort.