K this is a spur of the moment fic. I was looking at angel in your heart by kasienka-nikki on deviantART and listening to "Collide" by Skillet when I got inspired to write this. It's not really a songfic, but consider it what you will.

Basic info is that this takes place after 7x02. I don't know how it's gonna turn out, but this is what my mind came up with. If you don't like it, get it line and Kiss My Irish A$$! Yes there will be more parts, I'll get them out eventually!

Warnings: possibly some OoCness, slight slashy-ness, and the normal chaos and confusion that may/may not result from my stories.

Disclaimer: I no own! You no sue! Dean, Cas and Sam belong to Eric Kripke. I just invite them over, knock Sam out, tie him to a tree and leave him there while I "encourage" Dean and Cas to have some "alone" time in the basement while secretly filming it! I do return them, in as decent condition as possible, so others may play with them! See! I know how to share! I also don't own the song name used for the title. That belongs to Skillet.

If you have any questions feel free to ask!

Once again Dean woke up in a sweat.

He couldn't believe it had been that long.

2 years since they watched Cas walk into water like he was Jesus or somethin'.

He remembers never forgetting about Cas,

even as their battle against the Leviathan went south fast.

They'd only barely managed kill the leader,

which ended with Sam in the hospital for 2 weeks.

Dean hadn't been so lucky.

He had been comatose after the battle for 27 weeks.

During that time it had been hell.

Wait, no. Worse than Hell.

Not even the rack could compare to his evil, self-hating mind.

Every time he dreamed he saw Cas.

Not GodCas or even LeviathanCas.

Just plain old loveable Cas.

Sometimes he even saw Bobby with Cas and it made him feel worse.

Though most time it was just Cas,

still looking like the Angel of the Lord he was.

The trench coat was still on his body,

not in the Impala's trunk,

making him look like Heaven's nerdy accountant.

Cas never spoke.

He would just stare at Dean,

though Dean could hear things in his head.

Cas seemed to still be telling him things,

even though he was doing a damn good impression of a mute.

Things like "You must go back Dean."

"You can't stay here, you'll die."

"Sam is getting scared, don't stay any longer."

The scariest and most disturbing was what Cas said

in the last dream before Dean woke up.

"Dean, come back please. I'm waiting for you."

He knew his mind was playing tricks on him then.

Cus when he did open his eyes, there was no Cas.

Only a plethora of nurses and doctors

with Sam right in the middle.

He had looked so terrified but it also could have been relief.

Relief that he still had family and that he wasn't alone.

It had been another 6 months before the doctor's cleared him.

Returning to a motel, that first night was bad.

Like when he was comatose, Dean had dreams of Cas.

Though in these ones Cas talked.

He never shut up.

Every dream he was talking about something.

Whether it was the state of the world, Dean's newest conquest or about the last hunt,

Cas always talked.

Dean knew that the Cas in his noodle wasn't real

and must just be his mind trying to help him cope with the loss.

He couldn't, with any amount of certainty, say that now.

The earlier dream, no, nightmare had been so real it must have been.

Instead of his normal(not for the real Cas), chatty self,

his MindCas had become quiet and still.

An eerie look had come to his eyes,

like he was not at all happy with what was in his head at the moment.

"Dean," Cas said solemnly, "Why aren't you looking for me? I told you I am alive."

This had been the only time he could talk in his dream.

And he had used it to bitch at himself.

"No, you're not Cas. You never came out of the water and I haven't heard diddly from you for 2 years.

2 YEARS, Cas! I ju...I just can't keep believing in lost causes.

Especially when I know it's hopeless."

"I'm not lying, Dean and I'm not just in your head."

Cas turned away from him.

"I wish you would believe me."

That one sentence was all it took.

In 2 seconds, 2 years of doubt and self-loathing erased.

Those words said in a voice so calm it was broken.

Only after Cas disappeared from his sight did he do anything.

He screamed for what seemed like years.

Once he woke up, Dean felt only marginally better.

The sweat still coated his forehead and he couldn't stop the tears leaking from his eyes.

Sam had long given up on trying to get Dean to talk about the nightmares.

One learned quickly that if a Winchester did not want to talk, nothing could make them.

Anyway Dean reflected on the nightmare just a little longer.

Although these thoughts would never reach outside the confines of his mind,

Dean missed Cas terribly and would give anything just to see him again.

He had tried suicide, but it had been MindCas who had convinced him to get help.

After dealing with a worried/pissed Sam, Dean decided against it ever again.

He would just have to wait until he died,

that is if Cas could return to Heaven and if that was where he was gonna end up when he died.

Winchesters would probably be the only family stuck in Limbo for all eternally.

Not because they didn't belong somewhere,

But because both sides wanted them too much and

at the same time didn't want them at all!

As the day progressed, Dean had a feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach.

It never left and a feeling like that was never good news for the feeler.

They had been on a hunt for most of the day.

All it had been was a simple exorcism with a salt'n'burn attached.

They finished right when it started raining just as it was getting dark.

There was no need to go at night.

The area of haunting was abandoned and no one lived within 50 miles in any direction.

So it had been easy to get thrown around, burn the bones

and get the hell out of there before anyone noticed the smoke.

They had just gotten back.

Sam had checked himself and then Dean for any serious injuries.

Finding nothing a beer, some stitches and a couple of pain pills couldn't fix,

Sam went out for the necessary supplies, telling Dean he'd be right back.

Dean hadn't really heard him, electing to take a shower and be alone with his thoughts.

After only 5 minutes in the shower, all of his instincts were screaming at him to GET OUT NOW!

Not knowing why, Dean did as he was told.

Not even 10 seconds later, soft banging came from the motel room door.

Thinking it couldn't yet be Sam, Dean, clad in only his boxers and holding a gun, cautiously opened the door.

What happened next would shock anyone.

It wasn't a mugger or robber on the other side of the door.

It wasn't even the police.

Standing there in all 100% solid real form was Cas.

Except he wasn't right.

Cas' eyes, although they were always stern, had always held a sparkle in them.

That sparkle was nowhere to be seen.

So many emotions flooded Dean in that instant.

Relief, anger, confusion and most of all caution.

How did he know this was Cas and not that Leviathan motherfucker fucking with him again?

Before his mind could question him any further, Cas spoke.

"Dean..."

It was one short syllable that fell off his lips but it did all it needed.

Before Dean could respond however, Cas had pitched forward,

the ground rushing to meet him.

"Cas!" Dean shouted in surprise and worry.

He dove forward, dropping his gun to catch the now unconscious angel.

Review plz! Reviews r meh noms! Feed teh starvin' kitteh! If u no feed, u guilty of animel negect! Not really, but reviews do inspire me to write more!