I. AM. SORRY.

This is WAY over due, and the only excuse I have for you is that I kept having writers block for many of the parts of this story. Oh gosh, I want all you to know I feel terrible.

I'm going to stop talking now so just read.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I just knew that Axel wasn't my priority anymore. I wasn't going to focus all my attention on him any longer because all it got me was a shit load of emotional problems. It bothered me that I acted so vulnerable around him, like I was the chick in the relationship, and he was the douche bag boyfriend that would drink all the time and act like an asshole. He was someone that made me feel good inside, but I always had that feeling of regret in the back of my head. But nevertheless, I still stayed because I like how I felt when I was around him because…

No. I didn't love him. How could I love someone like him? Someone who is constantly on a rollercoaster of emotions and doesn't know what the hell he wants. It's ridiculous. I'm glad I got out when I can. But when I saw him walk away, I couldn't help but let my heart drop. It was as if he was walking away from everything that we ever had, like it was all just a fucking experiment, like it was just for shits and giggles. I absolutely hated it, and I hated him for making me feel that way. But at the same time I missed being his lab rat, as strange as that sounds.

So now, I'm starting new. I'm starting fresh, and I'm going to focus on going home to Sora. I don't care if I have to lie about my sexuality, but I need to be there for Sora. So come 'on Roxas, you can get through this.

Most of the heads in the classroom turned, and gave me a funny look. I was focused on what I was doing, which was giving me a pep talk. Of course, as oblivious as I was, I continued to talk to myself.

"You gotta work it out Roxas, you just gotta."

"Mr. Rogers,"

"You can't let it get to you."

"Mr. Rogers,"

"He might do something to you."

"Mr. Rogers!"

"What?! What do you want old man?!" I stood up from my desk, pushing my chair out. I slammed my hand on the desk and stare at my boring as fuck English teacher. He jumped a bit once I slammed my hands on the desk. Shit, I knew I was in it deep, so might as well top it all off with a cherry on top.

"What is so important that you need to shout my name to get my attention?!"

The old man, I still don't know all my teachers name's yet, placed a hand on his hip, and took off his glasses. He gave me a weird stare, and then narrowed his eyes at me.

"Your education Mr. Rogers, your education is of importance, now take a seat."

The old man turned away to continue writing on the board, ignoring my little outburst. But of course, I had to step in it further.

"Fuck my education!"

The old man turned around quickly, and dropped his chalk. The whole class turned and faced me, giving me smiles of encouragement. Chuckles were heard from everyone else who knew I was going to get it.

Because I knew I was in it so much, I decided why not bathe in it too? I'm already in the biggest pile of shit that has ever been created anyways.

"I'm obviously not getting anywhere with your teachings." That made the whole class 'oo' 'ahh'.

The old man slammed his hand on his desk, and pointed a finger at me.

"You sir, need to respect your elders."

I narrowed my eyes, and leaned over my desk. Alright Roxas take it home…

"And you sir, need to learn how to teach to younger children without being aroused."

The old man gasped, and looked down to his manhood, which seemed to be saying hi to the class. The class busted out in laughter, and began pointing at the old man. He then pointed to the door, shouting at me to go to principal's office and to hell. I couldn't hear him over the sound of my awesomeness being acknowledged by the other students.

I smiled as I walked out of that class. I didn't bother going to the principal's office because of two reasons: One, the old man forgot to give me a slip, and two, I needed a walk. Yeah, I guess I was a bit over the top, but if I hadn't been right about his sexual thoughts, I would have had a beat down in the class. My fists slowly unclenched, and my tension throughout my whole body began to gradually cease. My thoughts began to process if I hadn't been able to control myself, that I would have probably attacked him, or worse killed him. I shrugged the thought over, but by doing so, I began thinking about Hayner, and how he was doing. But then again, didn't care. I remember checking his Facebook status once, because we're still friends on there, and it said:

"The hardest thing one can do is to pretend that love never happened."

I found it awkward after that, so I thought that I would update my status:

"The hardest thing one can do is watching your love fall off a 10 foot building for something they did."

Hayner got offline after that.

But it got me thinking about my anger issues, and how I could possibly kill someone if there wasn't someone to stop me. Sora was usually that person to stop me, and talk to me about my choices while I'm making a bad one. But ever since I got here, I wasn't really sure who was there to stop me from making a wrong choice. Sure, Riku was always there, but when I'm in class he can't be there. He's not going to pop out of nowhere and save me from myself. At this moment right now, I realized that I have a really bad anger issue, and I needed to fix that.

Later that day we had our annual dorm meeting, and it was something I wasn't looking forward to because I got to see that stupid redheaded asshole every day, sitting across from me with his arms crossed, giving me the most blankest stare that anyone could ever manage on a person. I absolutely hated it because when I would break the staring, Axel would always laugh silently to himself, indicating that he won. What is it going to take for me to give up on him? He obviously already did.

Our meetings were on a Friday nights, and they would last usually until Marluxia said it would. The past few months we hadn't had any because the swim team made regionals, and then nationals, and then they were in the finals for two weeks. So basically we hadn't had a meeting in a while.

"Alright guys before we begin our meeting, Roxas has something to share with the group."

My eyes grew big, and I looked over to Marluxia, who had his arms crossed and his brow lifted. Shit, he knew what happened between me and the old man already? Damn… I guess teachers gossip more than students do sometimes.

"Um, no I don't." I responded.

Marluxia leaned over in his seat. "I believe you do Roxas," He began to get comfortable in his seat. "Or else I will give you detention for the rest of the week."

I smiled. "You can't give me detention, you're a swim coach."

Everyone in the group gasped. This shocked me because I wouldn't think I'd get a rise out of this

"You can't talk to Mr. M like that!" Demyx spoke with his hand to his heart. "That's uncalled for!"

"Roxas," Zexion began to explain. "Marluxia is one of the most powerful teachers here at Oxford. He is highly respected, and everyone knows not to mess with him."

"He got our school recognized squirt." Axel spoke, which shocked me. I haven't heard his voice in months, and I can honestly say it felt good to hear it. "He's not some push-over-old English teacher, he's respected. So don't be an ass. Got it memorized?"

I gave Axel a glare. I felt like saying who the real ass in the room was, but I held it back. I don't know why I did this, but I did. It was weird for me to think that I shouldn't embarrass him when there are so many reasons why I should.

"Alright guys enough," Marluxia butted in. "There's no need for that. Now Roxas, are you going to inform the group about your little incident?"

I looked around the room, and began to take notice every single detail; the wall paper peeling off the corner of the walls, the extra empty chairs, the way the light sort of flickered which indicated that it needed to be changed. I needed anything to look at to keep my attention away from the conversation that I was supposed to be a part of. I didn't want to talk about it, and I most defiantly did not want to share in front of Axel. That would just give him one more reason to bag on me. Also, it would give him a reason to hate me more…

"No."

Marluxia sighed. "Alright, I see how it is. You don't want to share. Well, there is one more thing I'm going to ask you Roxas; food or books?"

I looked at Marluxia. "What?"

Marluxia smiled. "It's quite simple really, food or books?"

I gave him the most confused look ever. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Which one would you prefer?"

I looked around the others to see if they knew what he was talking about. Their heads were down, not making eye contact with Marluxia or me. They were avoiding the situation as any other person would.

"I don't know, food?"

Marluxia leaned in his chair, and began writing something on his clip board.

"Alright Mr. Rogers, if you refuse to tell us your incident with your English teacher today, and admit your wrong doings, you will be helping the cafeteria ladies in the dining hall serve food."

My jaw dropped. The rest of the group chuckled. I looked around at Axel, who was shaking his head with his hands in his pockets and was smiling. That fucker was smiling, and it pissed me off because I knew that, yet again, I was being embarrassed in front of him right now.

I smiled, and then licked my lips.

"How long is the kitchen duty?"

The whole group sighed, and put their heads down. I just simply smiled at Marluxia, crossing my arms as I leaned back in my chair. I knew that I was giving him a hard time, but who cares? He doesn't mean anything to me. And besides, kitchen duty sounds great. That means I get to serve myself more food than the other students because I work there. I'll be eating the food than I would actually be keeping in clean. This sounds genius, and I knew that I had the last say in this.

But before I could gloat on this any further, Axel had to ruin it.

"Damn it Roxas, why can't you just admit that you're wrong? You're not so perfect than you think you are you know."

I stood up in my seat, getting ready not to take anything from him anymore.

"I'm not saying I'm perfect. I just don't want to share my personal experiences."

"Oh shut-up shorty. Everyone knows that you almost choked Mr. Peters because he told you to sit down. Everyone knows that you have Hulk issues. Everyone knows that you still love me!"

I couldn't stand it anymore. I knew something was going to happen and it did. I remember running towards Axel and jumping on him, pulling him down by the hair and choking him with my arm. Axel had managed to pull me off, thinking it was over, but I wasn't finished yet. I jumped on him once more, and began to punch him. I punched for every emotion I felt for this asshole; anger, hatred, sadness, disappointment, and love. I also remember Axel pushing me off him, and punching my lights out.

I guess at some point, I just need to stop being an ass.

I woke up slowly, my vision barely getting its sight back. I let out a groan as I felt my whole body ache, like I hadn't moved for days. Slowly I sat up in my bed, touching my head. I immediately felt pain, and jerked my hand away. Once I regained strength again, I slowly caress the left side of my face, and felt smooth, yet a burning sensation on my skin.

I quickly got up to see my face in the mirror, but fell because my legs gave out. I yelled as the floor made an impact on my face. Carefully, I lifted myself back up, and slowly I walked over to the mirror. For support, I leaned on my desk as I took a look at my face. The whole left side of my face was bruised red, and it was a bit larger than the other side, but not to the extreme like I couldn't see. I began to panic, thinking I probably got robbed in my own room, or maybe I was hit when I was walking from class. Who could possibly–?

And then it hit me, well actually he hit me. My thoughts came back quickly as I remembered that Axel and I were in a fight, and he had punched me after I had almost choked him. I sighed.

I am an asshole. He had the right to knock my lights out. But honestly, is it really my fault? I wasn't the one who liked someone, but was dating someone else. I wasn't the one who was telling lies to everyone to everyone to get someone to like me.

Everything is just fucked up, and I don't know how to put them back together again.

Suddenly a knock came from my door, and I quickly lost balance of my weight I put on my desk and fell to the floor. I groaned as I heard the knock continue on my door.

"Come in!" I yelled.

The door flung open. I lifted my head to see who it was, and was shocked.

Demyx came in and closed the door. He walked over to me and lifted me up to my feet. I groaned in pain some more as Demyx helped me to my bed.

"What the fuck happened?!" I yelled as I was dropped to me bed.

"Well," Demyx stepped back, and began to play with his fingers. "What do you remember last?"

I scratched my head but then groaned because I accidently touched my left side rather than my right. I looked at Demyx, and from the expression on his face he looked scared shitless.

"I remember being punched by that asshole."

Demyx shrugged. "Well that's basically it."

I looked up to Demyx. "Are you fucking serious? Axel did this?! Axel punches my face and this," I pointed to my face. "This is the outcome of it?!"

Demyx slowly, and cautiously, nodded. He then opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He just simply stood there, baffled, and he shrugged.

"If it helps, he looks worse than you do."

"THAT BASTARD!" I yelled.

I don't know why I yelled this, but it felt like it needed to be yelled. I felt that the whole hall needed to know how much of a bastard Axel is. I wanted to run down the hall and knock on his door and punch his lights out, but then I really didn't feel like moving at all. All I knew is that he needed to pay, and soon.

"Marluxia made some arrangements and had both of your teachers excuse you from class for the next three days."

I paused for a second. "Both? What do you mean by both?"

Demyx was ready to leave, but then heard my question and came back.

"Well, Marluxia thought it was necessary that you two have an intervention with each other."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

I pushed the covers off of me. I felt like all the anger build up in me, and it was being unleashed like Godzilla on Monster Island. Demyx fell to the floor over my wrath, and he trembled as I looked and stood before him. I knew what I had to do, and I wasn't going to take it out on Demyx. No, I was going to take it out on the douchebag who messed up my face.

I walked over to the door, clenching the doorknob as I turned it open. Suddenly, every feeling I had inside me boiled inside me as I saw who was at my door. There, with one purple eye and neck bruised, was the douchebag himself.

For some reason, as much as I hated him at this moment, I didn't do anything. I just stood there, looking into his eye, just being so pissed at him. My breathing began to increase, but I didn't touch him. Axel looked down at me, watching me be so mad at him. His expression seemed like he was pissed as hell as well, but it seemed like he was waiting for me to try something before he did anything.

"Demyx," he spoke which surprised me. "Get out of here."

Demyx didn't need to be told twice. I never left Axel's eyes, but I heard Demyx get up quickly from my floor. He somehow managed to squeeze in between Axel and me. He quickly scurried off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Axel walked forward, forcing me to walk into my room. He shut the door behind him, making the only noise in the room. I looked at him with such anger that I've never felt before. I was so pissed that he messed up my face just because I lost it. I was pissed at him because he asked me back when he was dating someone else. I was so fucking mad at this douche bag because he was just one confused fuck.

"You asshole." I just blurted out.

"Yeah?" Axel responded not even a second later. "Well fuck you too."

I kept looking at him, trying to hold back my anger. By the look on his face as well, he was holding back too.

"Why are you here?" I rose my voice a bit, getting to the point.

"Demyx needed help, so I came to help him." He answered.

"Well he's gone now."

"No shit Sherlock, good work in discovering the obvious."

"Fuck you!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"You're an asshole! I fucking hate your guts!"

"Do you really?"

It was those words that I suddenly felt all my anger emotions turn to mush. I felt hopelessly in love again, and I lost all strength. I couldn't think straight because my mind was focused on how much I still loved this bastard. But then it pissed me off of how much I loved Axel, and how that I would do anything to get him to say that to me. It pissed me off so much that… that I would be nothing to him but just a little freak that can't control his emotions. I'm no one to him, just like how I am to my dad… just a boy with a problem.

"What, did I hit a soft spot?" Axel spoke, anger still in his voice. "Are you backing out now? Come 'on, we're just getting started!"

"Just go." I spoke softly with no force at all.

"Oh, what's this? Roxas is dropping out in a fight?" He gasped. "It just can't be!"

"Go away." I said once more.

Axel chuckled. "Wow Roxas. Why the change of heart? Too scared to fight? Hmm?" He gave me a light push.

I shook my head, and finally broke eye contact with him, pushing past him and heading for the door.

"Hey!" Axel yelled. "I'm talking to you!"

I stopped, staring blankly at the door. I reached for the knob, but I was then jerked away, and forced to face Axel and his anger. He looked more pissed than I was, and I couldn't understand why. I was shocked that he wasn't even trying to punch me or anything. I stood there, thinking it sucks that we'll never be this close again, only when we're fighting. Axel was squeezing my shoulders, and he was breathing heavily. I'm not gonna lie, I was scared shitless. He looked like he was going to murder me, and spread my blood all around the room, and eat my limbs for dinner so something. But for some reason, at this moment I felt that he wasn't going to hit me. If anything, it felt like he wanted to…

And then it happened. His lips were forced upon mine. His hands were still locked onto my shoulders, and he was pulling me even closer than I already was to him. I was still and frozen, trying to process what was happening while it was happening. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there, accepting his kiss. It didn't last very long because he then pushed himself away from me, his hands still on my shoulders. He looked pissed as hell, but then at the same time he looked satisfied. I wasn't mad at him. Well why the hell would I be, he fucking kissed me! But I was mostly shocked as to why.

Axel cupped my face, and this time he was gentle. He still seemed mad, but his look of satisfaction gave me a sense of hope that maybe he might kiss me again. This time, I'll be prepared.

"Why do I insist on always coming back to you?"

His words stabbed me, like how he stabbed my heart many times before. But this made it different than the other times because it felt like he didn't want to like me, and he was putting in so much effort to hate me. Yeah, I should be happy right? Wrong. He sounded just like my dad, trying to wonder why he could even love someone like me because I was just too fucking difficult to deal with.

I licked my lips, trying to hold back my tears. "Then why are you still here?"

Axel then grabbed my clothes, and pulled me to his face. "Because I fucking care about you, okay?!"

My eyes widened, and I couldn't help but gasp. Yeah it sounds cliché, but it just slipped out. I looked at him, fucking shocked as ever, and just had a huge question mark on my face.

"But–"

"Don't say anything else to embarrass me, okay? You already proved your point."

He slowly let go of me, and I was just there, standing in front of him, feeling used, lame and stupid, but ultimately I felt loved. I won't lie; I bet this looked hot from another person's view. But from where I'm standing this was scary as fuck.

"So," I began. "What are you trying to say?"

Axel straightened up, and looked down on me. He backed me up into the door, and he placed his hand next to my head. He looked away with his eyes closed, then slowly turned his head towards my face.

"I don't ever want to be apart from you Roxas. I need you by my side all the time."

I held my breath as Axel looked into my eyes, coming closer and closer to my face, well err, my lips.

"I've decided that you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. If you're going to be miserable, then hell I'll be miserable with ya."

I honestly didn't know what to say. All this sounded nice, but something about this was wrong. As much as I wanted to smile and accept him back into my life, there was that stupid regret feeling that was telling me it was a trap, and that I shouldn't go through with this. It was bugging the hell out of me that I didn't know what it was that was stopping me from being with Axel.

Wait. I do know why… Shit, this is gonna be hard.

"Axel," I whispered.

"Oh, say my name again." Axel closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against mine.

Well, I know he's not going to like this.

"Axel, we can't do this."

He froze. He stopped breathing as well. He then turned his head to the side, closing his eyes as he did so. I was too scared to hear what he was going to say next, but I still paid attention to what he was going to say.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Those words hurt more than the first pair of words he said because when he said that, it sounded a lot like my father. But, why does it have to be this way? I mean, why can't Axel see that I need to focus on my master plan of going back home and being with my brother? Why can't he just get out of the way? Damn it, this guy will be the end of me.

"When someone opens up to you sincerely, you just don't shut them out. I'm trying to help you Roxas!"

"No, you're not." I answered back. "You're just complicating things."

Axel took a step back. "Compli– Complicating things?! I'm the one whose complicating things? How about you?! You're the one throwing punches at me then kissing me when we get the chance!"

"You kissed me!"

"But before?" Axel's words stung. "What was it before?"

I looked away, not wanting to face him as I said my next words.

"It was nothing."

"Nothing?" Axel whispered. He grabbed my chin, and forced me to look into his eyes as he yelled at me more.

"Look at me, and you fucking tell me to my face that it was nothing!"

"It was nothing." I answered not a moment later.

"BULLSHIT!" Axel yelled as he pushed me into the door. "Bullshit and you know it." He pointed his long skinny finger at me. He then began pacing around my room, shaking his head, and grabbing his hair.

"You know what I don't understand?" He began again as he stood a distance away from me. He shook his head and smiled at his thought, then taking a few steps forward. "I don't understand how someone can so easily give up on someone when they know in their heart that they are supposed to be with them."

It took me a moment to say this, but one I said it, it hurt me more than I tried to hurt him.

"I don't belong with you Axel."

Axel took a few more steps forward so he was now in my space. He grabbed my face once more, and pulled me closer to him.

"We'll see about that."

He pushed me out of the way, making his way towards the door. His words lingered in the air as he slammed the door behind him. I stood there, feeling every emotion that he was giving to me. I knew I just made things worse, but I had to. I had to tell myself that Axel wasn't important to me, and that I didn't need him. I didn't need to love him because he would jeopardize any chance I had with going back home. I had to focus on the plan or else I'll be stuck here. But truth is… I love Axel. I want to be with him, and I want us to be happy. But I can't let it happen. I'll keep telling myself that he doesn't love me and that I don't love him, that way I can focus more on this plan.

Yeah I had to stick to the plan, but that didn't mean I couldn't cry about what just happened.

Later on that night, I was called to go meet Marluxia in his office. I expected that Axel would be there because, well it makes sense. I was a bit shocked that he wasn't there, but I still showed up. I figured that he would have to be there because, well I wanted him there. As I reached to open the door, it had already opened. Out came Axel, calm as ever, and his hair up in a ponytail. We almost touched, but then I stopped, causing an awkward moment in front of him. He never stopped. He just simply looked down at me, expressionless, and pushed forward. Not once did he look back, and that hurt me inside.

Urgh, get it together Roxas. You need to focus now.

I walked into the room and took a seat in front of Marluxia. He was still writing down something, which made me wonder what the fuck I was doing here now. I began twiddling me thumbs, because it looked like I was doing something productive, and hell I needed to look like I was doing something. I need anything to get my focus rather than Marluxia.

I saw him, through the corner of my eye, put his pen behind his ear, and then lean his clipboard to his chest. I heard the faint tapping noises that escaped from the clipboard. Once he realized I wasn't going to be making eye contact, he began to tap his foot. Because I got tired of twiddling my thumbs, I decided to count how many times he tapped his foot. 247 times he tapped his foot, and that whole time span was ridiculously awkward. He didn't talk, I didn't talk. I just sat there counting his taps, like a freak.

Hey, if I'm thought of as a freak, might as well prove them right.

"Okay," Marluxia finally broke the silence. I finally looked up at him, and I saw him stretch out his right hand and look at his watch. "It was been 20 minutes and all you've manage to accomplish is twiddling your thumbs and counting the tiles."

"I wasn't counting the tiles." I correct him. If you're going to prove a point, might as well be right about it.

"Okay Roxas, enough games." He placed his clipboard beneath his chair, and crossed his arms. "You and I need to talk about what's going on in your life."

I leaned back in the chair, and looked towards the mirror/window that was in the room. That's pretty stupid to have because everyone knows that it's see-through, so why still put it? Dumb asses…

"Roxas I need you to focus on what I'm trying to say."

I scoffed, crossing my arms as I did.

Through my peripheral vision, I saw him lean back in his chair and having his arm hang from the side. This caught my attention because he wasn't sitting up right. Teachers are supposed have excellent posture because well they go to school to be these proper butlers or something. So seeing this shocked me because it wasn't correct, and it was bothering me that he wasn't fixing his posture.

"Ah, I got your attention." He taunted. That ass…

"What do you want?" I bluntly asked.

Marluxia fixed his posture, thank god. He leaned forward, and looked at me in a sympathetic way. Ugh, those are the worse kind of looks because there are two ways of looking sympathetic. One look is the absolutely not caring sympathetic look, which means that the person asks you what's wrong just so they can have you talk about your problems but not listen to a word your saying. And then they say some bullshit response like 'Oh things will be better' when obviously there is no chance in hell that it'll ever get better. Then there is the actual sympathetic look, which is meaningful and sincere, and also very annoying. Just the way they treat you like you're this poor helpless person and you can't do anything about nothing because you're so helpless that they want to take you in like some dog you found on the street. Although, sometimes those people look like they could actually help you in some sort of way, which actually makes things easier for you because then you don't have to do this by yourself.

Right now, Marluxia is giving me the look that he actually wants to help me, but I won't let him because he'll just annoy me.

"Roxas, I want help you. I know that I can help you so that you can achieve so many great things, but you got to let me in first."

I smiled because that sounded funny.

"You're gay moves won't work on me. Why don't you save those for Axel?"

I shot up a look at him. I felt my fist clench up, and I was suddenly then forcing myself to remain seated because I knew I would have punched that fucker's face in. Who the fuck does he think he is, making comments towards Axel.

"Look I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just trying to get through to you."

"You think making comments like that is going to get me to open up? Then you're seriously one messed up counselor."

"Roxas, I'm trying to help you. That's all I'm here to do. I'm sorry you took it the wrong way."

I shook my head, smiling. I don't know why I was smiling, but I guess it was just a cover up to hide my anger. I got to say, I'm pretty shocked I held my anger in like that

"Please Roxas, I can help you."

"No you can't." I answered quickly. "No one can."

Marluxia sighed. "Well Roxas, then I guess we'll just have to keep meeting with each other until you open up and let me help you."

I took that as a sign that he was done, so I got up from my chair and left. I felt the stare of many others as I pushed open the door. I didn't know what to think. All I knew was that I was one hot mess, and that I needed to get help. Marluxia can help me, but I won't go to him because I don't trust him. Riku's not any better. His head is so far up my brother's ass that he doesn't have time to hear me bitch about my problems. I needed someone, and I knew it.

Just then I stopped abruptly, because the sight of Axel flirting with a smaller boy was what my sight focused on. Everything stopped around me, and I was focused on him, his arm up against the wall, and his face inching closer towards the other boys face. His bright ass green eyes met my stupid sad blue eyes, and he smiled as he leaned over to the boy, whispering something to make the boy go weak in the knees.

I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand all these emotions and they were piling up by the minute. The emotions of my dad ignoring me as a son, the way my brother doesn't care for me because he found comfort in my best friend, and how Axel hurts my heart everyday by stabbing it with anything he chooses and I just let him because I fucking love the ass so much.

I quickly turned around and walked back to Marluxia's office, hoping to still catch him there. I grabbed the doorknob and I opened the door quickly. He was packing his things when he saw me, and stopped what he was doing. My eyes met his, and I was breathing heavily because I walked fast over here, and I was holding back tears and a shitload of emotions. A minute passed, and then I let everything out.

"Axel and I had a thing but then I couldn't go on with it because he was still flirting around so then when he tried to make things right I backed out because I made a plan to be straight so I can go back home and protect my brother from my homophobic dad because he hates me for being gay so that's why I'm here at this school. But that plan is always getting interrupted by Axel because I love the guy so much that it fucking hurts and it sucks that every time I see him talk to another guy I just know that he is doing it on purpose because he is just trying to piss me off."

Marluxia looked at me wide eyed and opened his mouth to speak, but I took another breath because I wasn't finished.

"And now my best friend Riku likes my brother and my brother likes him so what's the point in going back home and protecting him when he already has someone? So would it make sense that I shouldn't go with this plan that I have about being straight because then that would mean I could make things right with Axel so that we could be together, or should I still go through with because he's my brother?"

Marluxia's mouth was open still and he looked at me blankly. Another minute passed, and he made movement to sit down.

"Well Roxas, I thought you were going to tell me a problem, not your entire life." Marluxia smiled, and he placed his head in his hand, shaking his head as he did. "You have more fucking problems than any normal teenage girl has."

I rolled my eyes. "Well are you going to help me or not?"

"Yeah of course, sit down."

I gave him a confused look. "We're going to solve them all right now?"

"Oh god no, that would mean that I'm actually doing my job." Marluxia shook his head. "Of course I am! Now sit your ass down."

So I did. I looked at him as he tried to compose himself what to say.

"Okay, let's start with you family issues. You say you're dad is homophobic, yes?" I nodded. "Okay, so that's why you're here? Because you're dad sent you to get 'straightened out'?" I nodded again. "Well, that's not an easy situation, and I can't imagine what happened between you and your dad."

Memories began to pass my mind as I remembered that day I wasn't his son anymore. I tried pushing it away, but the memory kept coming back, and I couldn't help but let my eyes become watery…

"Hey come 'on, none of that." Marluxia handed me a tissue. "I don't want you thinking about your dad and whatever fight you guys got into. Right now I want you to push that aside and let's focus on something else that is less touchy."

I grabbed a tissue, and began to wipe my tears.

"Okay, well you mentioned something about a plan, what were you talking about?"

I sniffed, trying to clear my head. "It's this thing that I thought of once I got here."

Marluxia waved his hand, allowing me to continue.

"I was going to go to the Spring Formal with a girl from Lavender Academy so that way I can prove to my dad that I've changed, and that I could home. All this was for Sora, my younger brother, because he's gay too and I need to protect him so he won't go through what I went through with my dad."

"But, that's not who you are." Marluxia spoke afterwards.

"So? It's my baby brother, and I need to protect him."

"Yeah I get that, but shouldn't your brother decide if he needs your help or not? I mean I get that you're his older brother and you feel entitled to protect him, but what if he doesn't need protection? Maybe he can handle it on his own."

"But he can't!"

"You don't know that, you don't know what he's capable of."

I leaned back in my chair, getting frustrated. I'm starting to regret coming here…

"Now, I think you should talk to your brother, and ask him how he feels about it. It's a brilliant plan to get out of here sure, but you're also lying about who you really are, and that's not fair to your dad, and to yourself."

I scoffed, looking away from Marluxia.

"And wouldn't that also be unfair to Axel?"

I looked towards him, getting chills by the mention of his name.

"Now, pretending to be straight might send mixed signals to Axel, because you love the guy, and he obviously has something for you if he's trying to get your attention, so that would mess up things between you and him if you want things to go further.

"I don't." I spoke.

Marluxia looked at me confused. He smiled and then leaned over his desk.

"Yeah you do."

"No, I don't."

"Roxas, lying to yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. You know that you want to be with him, and you should accept it."

I shook my head. "He isn't good for me! He just messes everything up for me."

"The he obviously isn't good for you."

"But I love him…" I whispered.

Marluxia smiled, and he shook his head. "So right there, is a perfectly example that you shouldn't go through with the plan, because now you're just confused as ever. First, you got to sort of your feelings before you start going around saying something that you're not. I also think that this plan is to get back at Axel for hurting you so bad."

My head shot up. "No, it's not –"

"Oh, but it is. Did you ever bother to think that when Axel shows up with his date and he sees you with a girl, how do you think he's going to feel?"

I tried to ignore his comment, but I felt forced to pay attention because he making a really good point.

I didn't want to think about how Axel would have felt because I thought it wasn't important. But considering how I kind of love the douche bag I can't help but to think that I actually might hurt him unintentionally.

"Now, I think you need to find yourself, and think about what you might do, and how it might have an impact on others."

I sighed, beginning to be annoyed because he wasn't helping me make a decision at all, and right now I just needed to make up my mind.

"As a counselor, I'm telling you that if you go through with this, you are in danger of losing who you are, and hurting others."

I gave him a disgusted look, hoping he got the message that he was no fucking help at all. Now I'm more confused than ever. I made my way to the door, regretting that I came here in the first place. One thing I am sure of is that I am never coming back here for advice.

"But as and older brother who cares for his younger brother,"

His last words caught my attention. Slowly I turned around to face Marluxia, who was leaning back in his chair, and pressing his fingers together while they were spread out. The whole scene looked like it was out from the Godfather, and all he needed was like two bodyguards behind him with loaded machine guns. I stood still as I waited for him to finish his next few words.

"I would do almost anything, and everything necessary to look out for him. I would just be careful not to lose myself as I did so."

I smiled at him, laughing as I realized something. "You know, you're not a very good counselor."

Marluxia shrugged. "That's why I'm a swim coach. Now go, and know that my door is always open. Just not after 8, because that's late."

I shook my head. "Bye Mr. M."

I walked out of the room, knowing for the first time what I needed to do. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I sure as hell knew what needed to be done.

I didn't bother filling in Riku with all the details. No, because he had another thing on his mind.

"I'm taking Sora out on a date today."

I gave him a look from where I was, which was sitting on the grassy hill just above our dorm hall. We made it a point to just go out and have a chill day, just Riku and I. It was our catch up moment, and I guess for me my "chillax bro" moment. I did need to chill, and oddly enough this helped. However, I didn't have in mind that my "chillax bro" time was filled with facts about my brother. When I heard what Riku had said, I couldn't process anything in my mind…

Well maybe I did know what to say to him.

"Are you fucking insane?"

Riku smiled, letting out a soft laugh. "Yeah, I really am going to go out with him."

I hope he saw the confused look on my face. "Again, are you fucking insane?"

Riku shrugged from where he was. It was one of those shrugs where it just simply showed that he didn't care what he seemed like.

"Maybe I am."

"Riku, you can't take him out. That'll put him in danger."

Riku sat up, looking at me like I was the crazy one. "How would he be in danger? It's not like I'm a serial killer or something."

"No, it's not you I'm worried about. It's my dad."

The happiness in Riku's face quickly faded. Memories of my father came to mind quickly and it pushed me the wrong way. I set that aside, and focused on the conversation I was about to have with Riku.

"You told me about your dad… But I never thought you would think he would put Sora in danger. He's his son."

"I'm his son too, or at least I was. Look what happened to me."

Riku shook his head. "So, should I not take him out?"

I nodded. "It's too soon."

I don't know if I was telling him this because I sincerely wanted to protect Sora, or I didn't want Riku to get anywhere near my brother. That's not fair to my brother, but there was just something inside of me thinking that I was being selfish for not letting my brother keep his crush with him, but then again, why would I? Riku can be just as an ass than I can be, even worse. So why would he crush on someone like him?

And then I began to wonder.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Riku shrugged as he leaned back onto the grass and rested his head on his arms. I looked at him, for the first time, in disgust. I looked at him as someone my brother had an interest in. This guy… someone who just over about 4 months ago was this major asshole who wore skin tight leather pants, and went around mugging every little person that stepped into his way. This is the same guy, who just not too long ago, attacked me because he was lonely and he hadn't seen my brother in a while. How do I know that he won't do the same to Sora?

"What happened that made you and Sora like each other?"

I saw Riku instantly stiffen. Not in that dirty, please, but in that way where he just got caught.

"What?" he asked, his voice a hint higher than usual.

I now knew that I hit a soft spot. He knew something, and he wasn't telling me. It didn't bother me at first, but now as he was starting get serious with my brother, I knew that I couldn't keep it pushed over to the side. No, someone needed to say something… And that was going to be me.

"You heard what I said; don't decide now to be a dumb blonde now."

"Whoa, for your information my hair is gray." He began to be defensive.

"BULLSHIT!" I called on him. "Dude I was there when you dyed it. That big mess on your head is blonde."

"SHHH," Riku slapped his hand over my mouth. "You wanna keep your voice down?!"

I struggled to break free from his grip. "Then tell me what happened damn it!"

Riku sighed as he let go of his grip and he lay back down on the grass. He closed his eyes, as if trying to find the words to answer my question. This only made me more upset, because now I know that Riku was embarrassed to tell me whatever it was they did.

"Okay… well it all started one day when I decided to start praying on new freshies. This was way back when I barely reached the top of my reign on the school."

~ Riku's P.O.V ~

I was walking around the locker rooms, trying to find someone who would so kindly pay for my lunch that day. I had forgotten my wallet at home, so of course I had to ask someone nicely if they could lend me a few dollars. So I asked Pence so politely if I could borrow some cash.

"Yo! Fatty in the corner! Where's my money?!"

Pence turned around, shaking as he was opening his locker.

"W-what money R-riku?"

"Are you talking back to me Shamu?! I asked you a question! Where's my money?"

"I don't h-have anymore. You took my last allowance yesterday."

"Don't get smart with me!"

I lightly tapped his shoulder, but he somehow tripped and got shoved into the locker. I asked him once again, even more polite than I asked before.

"GIVE MY YOUR MONEY OR YOU WON'T SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY, WHALE!"

Pence started whimpering, and he tilted his head to the side, as if I would punch him or something. Weird, right? Anyway, Pence looked terrified, so I helped him up, but very rudely he shoved past me and started running towards the exit. I guess he was in a hurry, so I didn't push for an 'excuse me'. Suddenly, something startled me as I was walking to my locker.

"Who's there?!" I quietly asked. I was a bit scared, and I think it showed in my voice.

I saw nothing, so I continued to walk towards my locker. I tried thinking about something else that would get my mind off the weird sound, but since I get scared most often, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I got to my locker, and quickly twisted my combination. I was a bit freaked, but I kept my cool.

Then I heard the noise again, this time it sounded like a locker slam. I turned to my right, because that is where I heard the noise.

"Who's there?" I didn't want to sound mean, but I was a bit scared. So again, I asked. "You better show yourself I'll come over there and punch your fucking face in!"

Then, from under the shadows, appeared a little boy, someone who I recognized. He was short, but not that short, and he had his P.E. clothes on. He had skinny legs that were shaking out of fear, and a big bush of messy brown hair that was sticking out in different places. But what stood out to me the most were his clear blue eyes, which were like an ocean out in a forbidden island shore.

I sighed. For real, it was a breathless view.

"Hey cutie, where you heading?" I couldn't help myself, really.

He took another step closer, and then looked around slowly. After he realized there was no one there, he pointed to himself.

"Yeah you." I answered him. "What you doing all by your lonesome back here with," I chuckled, because I thought I was bit nervous, and not at all seductive. "Little old me?"

Suddenly, I remembered seeing this boy before. Those big blue eyes are ridiculously familiar.

And then it hit me. This boy is Roxas' brother.

"Hey, you're Roxas' kid brother, aren't you?

The boy nodded, and smiled a bit. Boy, was that a sight to see.

"Uh, Sam is it?"

He shook his head, which was adorable.

"Steven?"

He shook his head again, and this time smiled even bigger.

I kept guessing names. Truth was, I knew his name. I just realized that every time I tried to guess his name, I would get something out of him; a smile, a laugh, a snort, but most importantly, a smile.

I finally walked up to him, and rested my arm on the locker next to him. With my free hand, I raised it to brush off a lock of hair that was in his face. He shivered at my touch, which got me scared, but then he quickly grabbed my hand and held it to his face. He closed his eyes, and he softened to the touch.

"I know what it is…" I whispered.

The boy looked at me, with his breath taking eyes.

"It's Sora, isn't it?"

He nodded, and smiled.

He never said a word, and yet he captured my heart with his silence, as cliché as that sounds.

"I'm not a kid." He finally spoke. "I'm only one year younger than Roxas."

I chuckled. "I bet you are."

"I am!" His voice raised a bit, a stomped his foot.

"Well if you're a big boy, you should be rewarded then, huh?"

Sora looked a bit confused, but then he was a bit surprised when I began to sit down on the bench that was in front of him. He hadn't had the slightest clue as to what I was about to do.

"I'm going to treat you, how big boys should be treated." I finally said to him.

And then I proceeded to make my hands travel from his chest to his waist. I lingered around the waist line of his gym shorts, and I then I slowly pushed them down. This made him shiver, but then I quickly stood up, and touched his face, holding it in my hands. I saw his cheeks blush a bright pink, so I kissed both of them. I looked at him, convinced he wasn't into that sort of thing. I went back down to pick up his shorts, but he placed a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me. He smiled a very convincing smile, and nodded for me to continue whatever it was that I was about to do. I smiled at him, and stood up once more. He looked disappointed, which made me feel bad, but I wanted to do something before I did anything else. I took his chin, and kissed him lightly on the lips. No funny business, just a simply chaste kiss.

I slowly dragged my lips off his, and smiled. I sat back down on the bench, and reached for his underwear. Once again, I lingered on his waistline, feeling the smoothness of his skin. I then slowly pulled them down, and stared up at him. I sighed, and smiled as I began to kiss Sora once again, but not on his lips. This was a totally different area that I would have never seen myself kissing before.

Shocked as hell, I couldn't find the will power to close my mouth. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I wanted to scream and punch Riku in the balls, then tackle his ass and punch him again for even touching my brother. The thought of him touching my brother and I having not known about it drove me crazy. Here I am, worrying about the mother fucker, thinking that he is sad and depressed without me there with him, but he's in fact getting blow jobs from my best friend! I took a long stare at Riku, and I could feel my tension rising, and I wanted to strangle him, and just beat the hell out of him.

I almost did too. The farthest I got was just yelling at the top of my lungs in my head. Just the thought of my brother getting… I can't even think finish my sentence without thinking it.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? No wonder he has a big time crush on you! You fucking blew him in the locker room!" I pushed him far away from me, and I got up to walk back to my room.

"Roxas!" Riku started calling out to me. "Roxas," he pulled me back. I tried pushing him off again, but he just held on tighter. "Roxas! You need to understand that I was a different person back then!"

"Yeah I understand completely!" I spoke through gritted teeth. "You treated him like any other boy you would fuck in the back of the locker room!" I broke free, and then yelled in his face again. "He's my brother, Riku! How could you?!" I pushed him, and then walked away.

He called once more, but I continued to ignore him. I knew I didn't want to see him for a while, but I also knew that I wanted him as my friend.

"Roxas he's coming to see me today."

I stopped walking. I slowly turned around to face him, with my fist clenched.

To hell with friends, I hated his fucking guts right now.

"YOU FUCKING WHORE! GO DIE FROM AIDS!"

"Hey!"

I turned around only to find Axel right behind me, his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"You're making a scene, so shut the fuck up and go to your room."

I looked over at Riku, who was walking over to us. He seemed a bit hurt, but he does doesn't even have a clue about how I feel. And then Axel showing up?! Oh, that was the icing on the cake. The guy doesn't know when to leave a guy the fuck alone.

"Roxas, come'on." Axel reached out for my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

"Can't you take no for an answer?" I snapped. "Stop trying to pursue me! Go off to one of your little boyfriends that you go a fuck around–"

And then it hit me so fast I didn't even know what I was saying. I didn't even realize that I was punched right in the jaw and I fell down. My whole face felt swelled up, and I could feel Axel going on top of me getting ready to throw in more punches. As if I wasn't bad enough. Through my blurry vision, I saw Riku grab a hold of Axel's shoulders, and Axel still trying to throw in a few more punches. His foot happened to kick my face really hard, and that was when my blurred vision became black.

When I woke up, I was back in my bedroom, staring at my boring beige ceiling in my room. . I rubbed my eyes, but then quickly stopped as I realized that it hurt. I moaned in pain, trying to process everything that I could remember. Then instantly I remembered that I was talking to Riku about my brother, and everything.

Damn him, but he is still my best friend so I have to go talk to him.

I got up from my bed and made my way to the door, when all of a sudden a hard grip was on my shoulder and it pulled me down. I gasped a bit, but it hurt to breathe. I felt my chest being poked by a bunch of needles stuck in my ribs. I was pushed back down onto the bed, and then held down. I tried breaking free from the tight grip, but every inch in my body was burning, and the grip that they had on my shoulders were on fire. I tried to yell, but my mouth was covered, which freaked me out even more. I tried moving free, but that was no use. A dark figure hovered over me, and gently whispered into my ear;

You move like a worm, digging into its own grave…

This freaked me the fuck out. I didn't know who had its grip on me, but all I know is by the tone of the voice, it wasn't human.

If you continue to act this way, the fiery gates of hell opens its doors to you, with welcome arms of the deceased who are just like YOU.

Its voice growled at me, it snarled like how a reptile would growl at you when you tried to touch it. I started to cry, because I was scared out of my fucking mind.

Your tears bring no sympathy towards me. All I see is a human, striving to be someone they are not. We have a place for you, where I come from.

The figure made me look to the side, and there I saw a dungeon, with thorns surrounding the inside, and on the outside. It was dark, but in big letters you can see my name spelled out on a plaque with red paint, each letter dripping with the paint.

I started to freak out even more, and I just began to wail, like dolphin or something. I didn't know what overcame me, but all I knew is that I was fucking crazy. I know I've gone metal or something because people, do not have dreams like that. They just don't. I took that as a sign, because I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that having that dream woke me up from my reality of being a bad person. I believe that whoever it was that visited my room that night could have been the reasoning of my dad. Maybe it was time that I actually stop dicking around here, and try to become a normal teenage boy.

I got up from my bed, and walked straight to the mirror. I slowly examined my body, and my face. I had bruises from the past week of getting into fights and hurting others. Just by looking into this mirror, I realized that I needed to change. I know I've said this before, but I'm realizing how serious it is to change; how much I want to change. Not just because of my dad, fuck my dad I'm done with him, but for me. I don't want to be this type of person who is full of anger and sadness. I already know where that road goes, and I have the bruises on my body to prove it.

I needed to change. Period. I'm not going through that stupid plan of mine because I finally realize I like myself the way I am. And I want to try and fix this problem I have, and all the other problems I've caused.

Starting with Axel.

If I'm going to start fresh with something, it has got to be with him first. Pushing all the feelings of pushing Axel away, I now want to bring them back, because in some philosophical way or some bullshit like that, he can get me through to my change.

I ran to my door and opened it, running down the hall to go talk to Axel. My feelings for him grew stronger and stronger with each step that I took. All the feelings that I pushed away from him were starting to come back with vengeance. And from all of that, I managed to make a smile on my face, because I was so damn happy.

Axel's door was a tiny bit opened, but I raised my hand up to knock on it anyways. The smile I had on my face quickly faded once I heard another person's voice in Axel's room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Ax? Going around causing trouble, making a scene over some guy!" the voice sounded lower than Axel's, and scarier to face. "Do you know how much Mom and Dad had to sacrifice for you to be here? Do you know how much I had to sacrifice?!"

Once I heard the words 'Mom and Dad' I felt a bit of relief. I never heard Axel mentioning he had a brother.

"Lea, please, I don't need this right now." Axel finally spoke.

There was a bit of a pause, and it frightened me every single moment I had to wait for the next response.

"You like him." Lea spoke in disgust. "Oh no. You love him."

He then chuckled a little bit, which sounded even scarier than his voice alone. All of a sudden something was thrown, and it broke something in return.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!" Lea's voice rose higher that the whole dorm heard.

I looked around and saw that head were peeping out of their doors. Their eyes looked at me, and I could instantly feel the judgment from everybody. Then, someone called me over to meet them. It was Zexion, who was also peeping out to see what the commotion was about.

I walked over to him and he opened the door a little bit more so he could see me.

"What are you doing? You should be asleep, resting." His accented voice assured me.

I ignored his question and asked one of my own. "Who is Lea?"

Zexion sighed and looked a little bit impatient. It seemed like he should close his door because something was going to be thrown at him.

"He's Axel's older brother. Word is Axel did something horrible to some boy back at his old school, and it resulted in someone being killed."

Zexion's words brought shivers down my spine. It couldn't possibly true, I tried to tell myself. Why would Axel try and do something like that.

"His big brother Lea is a big time movie producer, and he paid the school millions of dollars for Axel to be enrolled at Oxford."

"THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DO, ASSHOLE!" Lea's voice was heard again.

Suddenly all the doors were shut silently, and movement was heard from Axel's room. Zexion had pushed me out into the hallway so he could close his door. I was left there, in the middle of the hallway, probably going to be murdered.

Then Axel's door swung open, and it hit the wall with a big bang. Out came this tall maroon red headed man, with a bit of scruff on his face. His eyes were a darker green than Axel's, and he was also much, much taller than Axel. The only thing you could notice though was the scar on his right side that made him look fearsome.

It was basically Axel, but on a shitload of steroids.

Lea made eye contact with me, his eyes filled with rage and evilness. He made eye contact with me within a second. It was like he sensed my presence and I was the meal for the night. Every feeling that I had in my body was taken and thrown against the wall. I stood there, numb and dumb.

Lea took a few steps forward and faced me. He looked down on me, like I was trash. I did kind of felt like fucking trash at the moment.

"So, you're the new kid huh?" was all he said in a slow, steady voice. "You're the one who has been fucking around with Axel."

"I-" I was stupid enough to even breathe at this moment.

His eyes grew big, and his lips turned into a line. He then leaned over so that he was inches away from my face. I felt his breath on my face, and I could almost say it was like a wild bear breathing on your face.

"How dare you even speak while I'm trying to talk."

I swallowed, and that seemed to upset him more.

"I don't know what he sees in you. God knows I will never understand." He then took a look at the bruises on my chest, and on my face.

"You think you're tough kid?"

I quivered just a bit. Not so much though; I didn't want him thinking I was being bullied. I still wanted to maintain my ground, so I decided to look right back into his eyes, and I even looked at his scar that was plastered on his face.

"Wait till you get through me. Then we'll see how tough you are."

"Leave him alone Lea."

We both looked at Axel, who was standing at his doorway. Lea stood up straight, and then laughed. God, his laugh was scary enough to be something out a Batman movie.

"Go back to bed Ax, nothing to worry about here. Just having a nice," he instantly grabbed my shoulder and clenched it hard enough that I felt a few cracks. "little chit chat with your friend here."

I wanted to scream in pain, but I knew that wouldn't help the situation. I just bit my lips together and closed my eyes. I sucked it up and looked straight at Axel with watery eyes.

"Go Lea. Leave." Axel's strong voice was nothing compared to Lea's voice of mass destruction.

Lea smiled at Axel, clenching my shoulder as he did. A moment later he leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"I'll deal with you soon."

He then threw me towards Axel, who caught me in his arms, and walked away.

I finally breathed again, something I had forgotten to do while Lea was making my death sentence. Axel helped me back up, and he walked me into his room. I wobbled over to his bed and just collapsed. Shit, everything was happening to me this week. I got the shit beat out of me because I was the way I was. No, I was wrong. I got the shit beat out of me because I was such an ass to everyone else.

Axel went over to get the first aid or something. I looked at him with admiration, because he had an older brother who was scary as fuck, and he didn't turn out to be a shallow person. Axel was a person who cared. He had a funny way of showing it, but I finally understood that he cared. My eyes began water, as I realized that I now knew;

"I'm sorry."

Axel quickly turned my way, the expression on his face shocked.

"What?" Axel spoke softly.

It was getting hard to breathe, but I managed to speak the rest of what I wanted to say.

"I'm a dick."

Axel smiled as he walked over to me. "That's an understatement."

I managed a small chuckled, but the pain began to become unbearable.

"Axel I love you. I don't want to push you away anymore, I want you with me."

Axel lifted my head up and placed it on his lap.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

I sighed. "I stood up to your brother, didn't I?"

Axel laughed. "Yeah that was pretty bad ass."

I laughed a little, but then I quivered as my ribs were hurting so much.

"Hey Roxas are you okay? You sound like you're taking your last breath."

I gave a weak smile because I couldn't manage a full smile, even though I really wanted to.

"That's because I am."

I let out one last breath and I felt the whole room become dark. I saw Axel yelling at me to stay awake, and I did manage a few times, but I couldn't hold onto it any longer. All I know is that I left letting Axel know what I felt about him. I wanted to talk to my mom and Sora for the last time, but this was the best I could do. I guess something's need to come to an end.

Now you are where you truly belong…

UHM.

I'mSorry.

I follow my gut when I write and this is what I felt the ending should be. BUT, I will be able to tell you this, that the next chapter will include everybody :)

AND I MEAN EVERYBODY._.

Well, I'm working on Ch.5, and estimating on how long I take to update chapters, I give it until late August, maybe the first few weeks of September until the next chapter.

So until then, feel free to tell your KH friends about my story and write reviews :) I do have to say that everytime I need some confidence boost, I read your reviews and I instantly get inspires ^^ Yeah it sounds cliche but its true .

So thanks for reading! :D