TITLE: Seeking Solace
AUTHORS: parisindy
RATING: don't know yet. probably R
DISCLAIMER: No money was received or exchanged. We do not own Andromeda or any of its Characters. This is purely for fun.
ARCHIVE: only Zion's Starfish can archive it but anyone else has to ask.
SUMMARY: Parisindy wrote it with a lot of help from Harper Lover (she's a swell kid) so it's about Harper of course but everyone's in it.
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"I stopped by a bar at 3 am to seek solace in a bottle and possible a friend and I woke up with a headache like my head against a board twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before when I went in seeking clarity;. The less I seek my source for some definitive the closer I am to fine. " - Emily Saliers. Closer to fine. The Indigo Girls. Old earth calendar approximately 1995.
Seeking Solace
Harper sat in the conduit. An open panel sat in front of him. He had crawled in here a few hours ago to fix something but damned if he could remember what it was. The days had been like that since. well since the funeral. Everything seemed hazy. The minutes, the hours the days, passed in a blink. Trance had been checking on him constantly. All he wanted was to be alone so he could think. But part of the problem was his brain had seemed to shut down. He was distracted easily and had trouble focusing on anything. He wasn't sad or afraid he simply existed he felt that he should feel something and found the emptiness both comforting and curious. He was drained like an empty sparky can. Sometimes he had to remind him self to breath. He sat looking at the open panel. 'Was I fixing something?'
Voices filtered up from the nearby vent. Trance and Dylan were on the Obs deck he could see them from where he sat. His glance returned to the panel as he tried to concentrate. The voices were distracting.
"How's he doing?" It was Dylan's voice he sounded tired. Harper shrugged. They all were.
"Not good, he isn't eating or sleeping, he barely talks to anyone." Trance's voice sounded anxious. Harper wondered who they were talking about. He probably shouldn't listen but he didn't have the energy to leave and he did want to face them right now so he sat. Looking at the open panel. 'Was I fixing something?' he thought to himself.
Dylan's voice again. "When did everything become so hard?" there was a slight pause and Harper could hear him pacing. "I miss them Trance. Beka's the only one really gone but everyone's spirit seems have to left with her.hell even Tyr. Rev's locked himself up to pray, Rommie is trying to fix everything, which is impossible but there is no convincing her of that, Harper's not really functioning at all."
"I afraid it might get worse before it gets better." Trance sounded even older Harper noted.
"We used to be a team .Trance. Is there something you know?"
"No, not really.I don't know anything for sure."
"Probabilities?" Questioned Dylan
Trance paused uncertain if she should mention the thoughts that raced around her head. "There's a good chance Harper's going to do something really bad."
Harper pulled his eyes from the panel and crawled towards the vent.
"What?" Dylan's voice was shocked and shaky. Dylan had been a lot of things but Harper had never thought of him as being shaky before. "Like what?"
Trance shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure, but it's awful, it could put our whole future at risk."
Something started to crumble in Harper's chest and started to hurt.'No,No,No.No more!' screamed a voice in his head. He crawled his way out of the conduit as fast as he arms and legs would carry him. As fast as if a creature of the abyss snapped at heels. 'No,No,No.No more!' The mantra repeated in his head. He ran fast and unconsciously down Andromeda's long empty corridors. Bouncing off bulkheads hard enough to add more bruises to his collection. He finally stopped to catch his breath and for the first time he became aware of where he was.
When he was afraid, when he wanted to feel comfort, when he needed to find Solace where did he always go? He always ran to the Maru. His feet had carried him to the empty loading bay unconsciously. He stood there dumbfounded. His mind once again took over and filled his soul with a blessed emptiness. He stood there for more then a few minutes when the thought occurred to him. "I need to leave." He whispered.
"And where would you go little man?" Tyr's voice echoed through out the empty hanger. Harper jumped at the sound. He met the large Nietzschein's eyes they held a concern that he hadn't expected and maybe a touch of their own sadness.
"Tyr I don't need this right now." Harper felt angered but the emptiness he felt didn't let it rise to the surface.
"And what do you need? Do you even know?"
"Space."
"You can't run from this."
Harper didn't bother to answer. Tyr tried again.
"The ship says you haven't been eating. Do you hope to bring her back by killing your self?"
"Holy freakin Kali melons!! Was can't everyone mind their own DAMN business!!!" Harper's voice was rising. In some sick way he thought Tyr was trying to goad him on. But feeling anger, hell, feeling anything at all was too painful and Harper's body started to shut down. The room started to spin.
"Listen Tyr if you think by trying to make me throw a temper tantrum so everything will be all right!!! Well your wrong! Things will never be all right again! I know, I've done this too many times! Harper took a staggering step towards Tyr. It was beginning to be difficult telling up from down as vertigo set in. Tyr watched him impassively. Harper continued to rant. "Damn the Nietzschein's for everything! They continue to ruin my life'. He thought viciously, and then out loud, "Why can't you just leave me alone?" The last sentence was a near whisper. Harper stood there shaking for a moment more when his exhausted body and soul gave up the fight. With out a word Tyr caught him before he hit the ground.
tbc
AUTHORS: parisindy
RATING: don't know yet. probably R
DISCLAIMER: No money was received or exchanged. We do not own Andromeda or any of its Characters. This is purely for fun.
ARCHIVE: only Zion's Starfish can archive it but anyone else has to ask.
SUMMARY: Parisindy wrote it with a lot of help from Harper Lover (she's a swell kid) so it's about Harper of course but everyone's in it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"I stopped by a bar at 3 am to seek solace in a bottle and possible a friend and I woke up with a headache like my head against a board twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before when I went in seeking clarity;. The less I seek my source for some definitive the closer I am to fine. " - Emily Saliers. Closer to fine. The Indigo Girls. Old earth calendar approximately 1995.
Seeking Solace
Harper sat in the conduit. An open panel sat in front of him. He had crawled in here a few hours ago to fix something but damned if he could remember what it was. The days had been like that since. well since the funeral. Everything seemed hazy. The minutes, the hours the days, passed in a blink. Trance had been checking on him constantly. All he wanted was to be alone so he could think. But part of the problem was his brain had seemed to shut down. He was distracted easily and had trouble focusing on anything. He wasn't sad or afraid he simply existed he felt that he should feel something and found the emptiness both comforting and curious. He was drained like an empty sparky can. Sometimes he had to remind him self to breath. He sat looking at the open panel. 'Was I fixing something?'
Voices filtered up from the nearby vent. Trance and Dylan were on the Obs deck he could see them from where he sat. His glance returned to the panel as he tried to concentrate. The voices were distracting.
"How's he doing?" It was Dylan's voice he sounded tired. Harper shrugged. They all were.
"Not good, he isn't eating or sleeping, he barely talks to anyone." Trance's voice sounded anxious. Harper wondered who they were talking about. He probably shouldn't listen but he didn't have the energy to leave and he did want to face them right now so he sat. Looking at the open panel. 'Was I fixing something?' he thought to himself.
Dylan's voice again. "When did everything become so hard?" there was a slight pause and Harper could hear him pacing. "I miss them Trance. Beka's the only one really gone but everyone's spirit seems have to left with her.hell even Tyr. Rev's locked himself up to pray, Rommie is trying to fix everything, which is impossible but there is no convincing her of that, Harper's not really functioning at all."
"I afraid it might get worse before it gets better." Trance sounded even older Harper noted.
"We used to be a team .Trance. Is there something you know?"
"No, not really.I don't know anything for sure."
"Probabilities?" Questioned Dylan
Trance paused uncertain if she should mention the thoughts that raced around her head. "There's a good chance Harper's going to do something really bad."
Harper pulled his eyes from the panel and crawled towards the vent.
"What?" Dylan's voice was shocked and shaky. Dylan had been a lot of things but Harper had never thought of him as being shaky before. "Like what?"
Trance shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure, but it's awful, it could put our whole future at risk."
Something started to crumble in Harper's chest and started to hurt.'No,No,No.No more!' screamed a voice in his head. He crawled his way out of the conduit as fast as he arms and legs would carry him. As fast as if a creature of the abyss snapped at heels. 'No,No,No.No more!' The mantra repeated in his head. He ran fast and unconsciously down Andromeda's long empty corridors. Bouncing off bulkheads hard enough to add more bruises to his collection. He finally stopped to catch his breath and for the first time he became aware of where he was.
When he was afraid, when he wanted to feel comfort, when he needed to find Solace where did he always go? He always ran to the Maru. His feet had carried him to the empty loading bay unconsciously. He stood there dumbfounded. His mind once again took over and filled his soul with a blessed emptiness. He stood there for more then a few minutes when the thought occurred to him. "I need to leave." He whispered.
"And where would you go little man?" Tyr's voice echoed through out the empty hanger. Harper jumped at the sound. He met the large Nietzschein's eyes they held a concern that he hadn't expected and maybe a touch of their own sadness.
"Tyr I don't need this right now." Harper felt angered but the emptiness he felt didn't let it rise to the surface.
"And what do you need? Do you even know?"
"Space."
"You can't run from this."
Harper didn't bother to answer. Tyr tried again.
"The ship says you haven't been eating. Do you hope to bring her back by killing your self?"
"Holy freakin Kali melons!! Was can't everyone mind their own DAMN business!!!" Harper's voice was rising. In some sick way he thought Tyr was trying to goad him on. But feeling anger, hell, feeling anything at all was too painful and Harper's body started to shut down. The room started to spin.
"Listen Tyr if you think by trying to make me throw a temper tantrum so everything will be all right!!! Well your wrong! Things will never be all right again! I know, I've done this too many times! Harper took a staggering step towards Tyr. It was beginning to be difficult telling up from down as vertigo set in. Tyr watched him impassively. Harper continued to rant. "Damn the Nietzschein's for everything! They continue to ruin my life'. He thought viciously, and then out loud, "Why can't you just leave me alone?" The last sentence was a near whisper. Harper stood there shaking for a moment more when his exhausted body and soul gave up the fight. With out a word Tyr caught him before he hit the ground.
tbc