Set around the 7.03 time-frame. I seriously can't get enough of these. Sorry if I'm boring anyone. I hope others write more too! Thanks for any comments you may have. I appreciate the feedback! ~Shannon
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"I'm so glad you came back."
When Dean walked back into their motel room, he found Sam, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Sam didn't seem aware of Dean, his head was down and he was breathing fast. Kneeling beside his brother, Dean gingerly placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam flinched but when he looked into Dean's eyes he seemed to realize he was actually seeing his brother.
"I'm so glad you came back."
"Hey Sammy, where else would I be? I just ran out for some supplies, remember?" Dean spoke gently. Talking to his brother when he was like this is like talking to a scared child, albeit an extremely large, potentially dangerous child.
Sam shook his head. "Umm… right. That's right. I remember now." He seemed ashamed or embarrassed but was too upset to hide it. "So… how was the um… store?" Dean noticed that Sam's eyes darted to his left every few seconds.
"Is he here, Sam?" God, Dean would do anything to spare his brother this pain.
"Uh… yeah. Yep. So, anyway… Dean…" Sam shook his head as if he was trying to shake away the crazy. "How was it?"
"It was a store Sammy. You know, old people in motorized carts, kids screaming, hot cashiers. The usual."
"Mmmm…kay. Yep." Sam's eyes darted around the room again. "So, can you like… talk to me? I need… I jus' need…"
"Of course." Dean sat on the floor next to Sam. They sat shoulder to shoulder. Dean pondered for a moment. "Do you remember that time we dressed like djinn's one Halloween? Nobody knew what the hell we were and Dad just said it's better if they don't know, Dean." Dean lowered his voice when speaking like his dad.
Sam smiled, then dropped his head again. "Would it be… I mean… do you…?" Sam took a deep breath. "Wouldn't your life be so much better without me here, Dean? I mean, I'm kinda nuts, you can't trust me, and without me you could have a normal life."
"Where is this coming from, Sam?" Dean was getting a bad feeling about this.
"Oh, you know… Sometimes… I think about it."
"Do you think about it or does Lucifer tell you to think about it?" Dean was worried about Sam's suggestibility right now.
Sam laughed joylessly. "He, um… he does, all the time. But, I mean, he's right, isn't he? Dean, you could have everything if it weren't for me. If it weren't for your screwed up, demon-blood addicted, loser of a brother you could have a normal life."
Dean grabbed his brother's chin and forced him to look at him. "Sam. Sam, c'mon man. You're my brother. I'd do anything for you. We're in this together. There's no place I'd rather be, dude. Now, you're scaring me a bit here. Please tell me you don't sit around thinking about offing yourself."
Sam didn't answer. He was too busy looking at Lucifer, sitting at the table, chuckling. He leered, "Sammy boy, he's just trying to make you feel better. Secretly Dean will never forgive you for ruining his life."
"Sam!" Dean took Sam by the shoulders. "Don't listen to him! Just don't, okay? He's not real. You're out of the cage. I'm glad you're here and I need you to stay with me." Dean held back tears. "Please, Sammy."
"It's just, it's just so hard, Dean! All I hear, all day long, is how I should kill myself and make everyone's lives easier!" Sam sighed, exhausted. "I… can't promise anything. But, I'll try. Okay?"
Dean nodded, if this was all he was going to get for now, he's better take it. Sam did seem so tired. It must be exhausting to listen to Lucifer all day long and try to stay in the game with Dean too.
The brothers sat on the floor, shoulder to shoulder until they were both almost asleep. Dean's bum leg reminded him that there were more comfortable places to be. He leaned into Sam. "Hey, Sammy. C'mon, get in your bed. This floor is gross, and I'm tired too."
Barely opening his eyes, Sam struggled to stand up. His legs were nearly asleep from sitting in the same position for so long. Dean watched Sam get into bed and fall asleep almost immediately. Turning to get off the floor, himself (God, he was getting old!) Dean looked down where his brother had been sitting.
Right there, where Sam had been sitting, lay his gun. It was as if Sam had been sitting cross-legged with the gun in his lap the whole time. Dean froze. He looked up at Sam sleeping peacefully.
Standing to watch over his brother, looking from Sam to the gun then back again - Dean whispered, "I'm… I'm so glad I came back too, Sammy."