Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own Maruchan noodles. But I want to. Also shout out to The Langoliers, that movie was awesome.

A/N: This was written for the Strifehart Kink Meme over at http: /community. livejournal. com/cleonrp/2723. html Go there and be as dirty as you want! They encourage it!
This was previously published on another account. I'm just organizing my stuff.

Prompt: Porn stars.
Warning: Porn, duh! No, not really. It's not as explicit as one might expect.

Ten months ago

He could still remember the first time he saw him. It had been a Friday night ten months ago. He had been alone, bored and most importantly, sexually frustrated. After walking six times around the street, he had finally gotten the courage to enter the video store with the neon sign that told everyone of what could be found inside, "XXX FILMS". His section of interest: gay porn. He knew everyone inside were probably too busy getting their own selections for the weekend to actually notice him, but he still felt as if he was being watched by everyone. His paranoia of being seen in the place and especially in that section made him grab the first video he saw before going to the front where a girl with bright pink hair and probably a whole pack of gum in her mouth asked him for his I.D.

"Sorry hun, you look like you're fifteen," she said when she saw his reluctance. Taking out his wallet he brought out his I.D, making sure that the person behind him wouldn't be able to see his name.

"Don't worry, everyone here is after the same thing," she said and he could see the gum was purple when she spoke. After checking his I.D, she handed it back and he thought it would soon be over but she smiled when she picked up the video. "I got to say you have good taste. You're into blonds huh?"

There it was again, the purple gum as she spoke. He ignored the small talk about blond pornographic actors she recommended and when she finally handed him his video in a small black plastic bag he took it and turned around, not before hearing her say she wanted to know his opinion on it. He walked quickly over to his tiny apartment above the bodega on the corner of 23rd street. It was a one bedroom apartment with a small kitchen and an even smaller bathroom. He thought about heating some water for Maruchan noodles but decided it would be better if he ate after the movie. He didn't even know what he had selected and besides, it wasn't the type of movie to be wasted by eating noodles. Taking out the video, he prayed his old, dusty video player still worked. Sitting down on the sofa, he took a deep breath and clicked the 'play' button. The constant voice of his mother in his brain that seemed to go on like a broken record about how he was going to hell and how the absence of a father had caused his confusion were drowned by the cheesy techno music of the movie. The plot at first had him confused but he chuckled when he finally recognized it was some sort of spoof of one of his favorite horror movies. One young man, Lorenzo, was watching a movie that consisted of a series of different images of sexual activities. At the end of the tape, the guy received a phone call where a voice told him that he was going to be "fucked in every hole in seven days". Those seven days were spent not in fear but in masturbating sessions: on his bed, outside on the pool and even on the kitchen counter. After the seven days were up, the guy was caught off guard by a naked man that crawled out of his TV set.

It was the worst job of special effects he had ever seen since the ridiculous Pac-Men like monsters in The Langoliers movie, but this was soon forgotten when he saw the face of the actor. He was blond, his hair styled in spikes that made him wonder just how much gel had been used, but his most striking feature were his bright blue eyes. He didn't care about the plot anymore, which had the blond actor following up on his threat of fucking the guy and forcing him to wear a cock ring, only to be repeated with other four clueless men who also had watched the video. He ignored the music that changed from techno to a haunted tune with the sounds of chains being rattled every time the blond man crawled out of the screen. After the movie ended, he got up and went to where he had left the movie case.

The blond actor's name was Buster Bendover. He hoped that was just a stage name.

He watched the movie a second time, finally using it for its original purpose. Much more relaxed, he then had his Maruchan noodles.

Seven months ago

Since that first Friday night watching that movie, he had become somewhat infatuated with the blond. It obviously hadn't been his acting skills but there was something about the blond that made him rent the movie the next week after that first Friday, and then the week after that. He finally decided to spend twenty dollars he didn't have on the movie because the girl with the bright pink hair and the purple gum just wouldn't shut up whenever she saw him. He found it sad he spent his weekends with noodles and a porn movie on repeat but even when he was outside of his tiny apartment he couldn't stop thinking about those blue eyes. He had caught himself thinking about the blond several times but the curious thing was the way he thought of him. He didn't think of him in a sexual way. No, that was a lie. Of course he was attracted to the blond and he did enjoy watching him but his thoughts were filled with questions most of the time. He wanted to know what he did on his spare time. Why he was making those movies. How his voice sounded when he was having a real conversation and not telling someone to open their mouth wider. His infatuation had made him curious about the other movies the blond might have made. He didn't want to go back to the video rental store but he didn't have money to spend on buying porn movies, and with that choice he was forced to face the girl with the bright pink hair. He tried looking up the movies for himself but finally gave up and armed with courage he didn't know he had, he finally talked to the girl.

"Hey…I need some help."

"Sure hun, just tell me what you need."

"Well…" he started before turning back to see if anyone was behind him and seeing that no one was near, he looked back at the girl. "I need you to find me another movie with this actor," he said placing the movie on top of the counter. Her smile spelled doom but he thought that if he could just endure it he would be walking out with a new movie for the weekend.

"So I was right! You do have a thing for blonds. He's that good?" she asked blowing a bubble with the purple gum.

"Can you look in the computer now? I'm sort of in a hurry," he said ignoring the 'pop' as she pulled the gum back into her mouth.

"I bet you're in a hurry! Hold on a second, let me look for his name and-"

"It's Buster Bendover." He ignored the little raised eyebrow and the smirk.

"Aha…it seems we have four movies, well three since you already saw this one. Which one would you like? We have Star Cock: The Next Penetration, 28 cum shots later, there's also-"

"Just give me those two," he said, wishing she could lower her voice and not announce to the whole fucking store what he wanted.

"Ok! Let me get them bad boy," she winked before getting up and walking in the direction of the gay porn section.

He had walked out with two movies that day and his weekend was spent watching as another two of his favorite movies were completely destroyed. He had never been a fan of porn; he hated the ridiculous plots, the music and above all, he hated when the actors looked directly at the camera and talked to it. For him it broke the spell and made him dislike them. He knew there was nothing truthful about porn, every move and every word was coordinated by someone else. But he liked the ones where the actors seemed to be into each other, enjoying each other and doing their best at pretending there wasn't a whole camera crew filming them as they fucked. He just was a voyeur at heart.

However, he was so fascinated by the blond that he was beyond ecstatic when the actor looked up from his task and talked. He watched as the blond told the camera that he was going to fuck the man on the bed. He watched as the man on the bed grinned and waved, saying this would be his first time. He would have turned off the TV on another occasion but the blond was talking to the camera while stroking himself, and his blue eyes were brighter this time with all the lights in the room. He wanted-

"Leonhart?" startled from his thoughts he looked up from the book he had been pretending to read while waiting for his appointment. Standing up, he gathered his backpack and followed the woman who had called his name. He was led to an office and he took a seat, already knowing what she would say.

"You're behind on your tuition."

"I know. I'm missing just one payment."

"A payment you were supposed to have made…," she scanned the paper in front of her, "three months ago."

"I can still pay it, I just need a little bit of time."

"You've said this before and the school has been lenient with you. You must make the payment within three weeks or we'll be forced to cancel your classes."

That was how he found himself that evening on his sofa; a bowl of noodles on one hand and the newspaper on the other. He was desperate for an extra job, the one he already had as a cashier not enough to pay all the bills. Everything asked for experience or too much time he didn't have with his current schedule. He was ready to give up when he saw one. "No experience needed. Flexible time schedule. You can make $1000+ a week." There was no information of what the job consisted of but for $1000 a week, he didn't care.

It was his dream job.

The next day he called the phone number from the newspaper and he was given an appointment that same day. He skipped classes and made his way to the address he was given. The place looked decent from outside so he figured that if he was killed by some psycho, at least he wouldn't die in a cheap motel in the middle of nowhere. When he walked in he realized it was a studio and that he wasn't the only one there. There were several young men sitting around, apparently waiting their turn. He was asked to sign his name on the little notebook on the desk and then was told to take a seat. He wanted to know what this job was exactly about but he refused to ask one of the other men, and look like a total idiot for going without having asked first. He watched as several men were called before him; each one taking between twenty and thirty minutes. Some were asked to sign their name on another notebook and some were just led to the door. He was about to get up and leave when his name was called. He was led to another room where a man was waiting for him on a couch.

"You're Squall Leonhart?"

"Yes sir," he said as he sat across from him.

"How old are you?"

"I'm twenty one."

"Good, show me your I.D please. What do you do?"

"I go to school in the mornings and I work as a cashier during the weekends," he said taking his wallet out and handing him his I.D.

"So you're only free during the weekdays from the afternoon on?" the man asked taking a look at the I.D before handing it back.

"Yes, but if I'm needed during the weekend mornings I can change my schedule" he offered because if they were really going to pay $1000 a week, he would gladly leave his other job.

"That's good to know but during the weekdays seems like a good schedule. Alright, start jacking off."

Squall looked at him. "I'm sorry sir, what did you say?"

"Start jacking off, rub one out…I don't know what you kids are calling it these days. Come on," the man said signaling the objects on the desk between them. It was then that Squall saw them: lube and a few magazines.

"This is a porn studio," the man clarified. "You came here asking for a job and I need to know if you can meet our demands. Get to it." The man must have misunderstood his shock because he added, "Don't worry. You won't be with anyone else, this is only for solo videos."

"Oh I…I didn't know this-"

"Alright, out," the man said, waving a hand in the direction of the door. Squall knew he should just get up and leave but the promise of $1000 a week kept him seated on the spot.

"I'll do it," he heard himself say before lowering one hand to unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper. "Do I have to do it in front of you?"

The man raised an eyebrow. "If you want the job you'll have to deal with a whole film crew watching. Get to it, now."

He stayed with his hand over his opened pants for a moment. He only needed $800 to finally finish paying his tuition but his current work only left him with enough money to pay the rent and his expenses. He didn't exactly eat noodles almost every day because he loved them. It was because they were cheap.

"Use the lube, it helps," he heard the man say and he obeyed, reaching out for the bottle on the table. Once his hand was slick enough he started stroking himself. He looked at the man sitting across from him and saw him going over some papers and not even looking at him. He tried concentrating on the feel of his hand and he wondered why he had never thought of using lube before. It did feel rather nice. He tried all the techniques he had learned he liked all those years as a lonely teenager but he still wasn't getting hard. The man looked up every few minutes from his papers and he knew he wouldn't be able to do it like this. He thought about those blue eyes and that spiky blond head of hair he wanted to run his fingers through and while he felt a spark of sensation in his groin he still wasn't getting hard.

"Alright boy, that's enough. Not everyone can do it and I don't have much time."

"Wait, look…I didn't know this was that kind of job and it caught me by surprise. I just can't like this," he tried to say as he zipped up his pants.

"And I said I don't have much time. There are guys out there that'll probably end up leaving like you and others who will be able to get it up. Those are the ones I want," the man said standing up. Squall stood up as well and even though he couldn't believe he was still here, he continued.

"I need the job. Just…" his voice trailed off. Really? Was he just going to ask for a second chance at masturbating in front of a stranger? It was $800 and if he could just do it for a week he wouldn't have to worry anymore about having his classes cancelled for the semester. So yes, he was going to ask for a second chance. "Can I try one more time? I need the money."

The man let out an exasperated sigh and looked at the list on his papers. He still had another ten to go through. "I'm sorry but I don't have the time." If Squall could have read his mind, he would have known the man felt sympathy towards him for he had gone through some bad years in his youth as well. But Squall didn't know so he thought he had lost his chance and was caught off guard again when the man spoke. "Do you know how to operate a camera?"

His silence only provoked another sigh but the man began to write on a piece of paper. "Filming starts in two days, you can come back tomorrow and I will show you how to operate one. With these videos, we usually need just one or two persons in the room. Some of the guys might feel better with you behind the camera. You're young, attractive and they won't feel intimidated. We can see how that goes and if it works out, you can take that job."

Five months ago

It had taken him exactly seventeen days of work at the Organization XIII studio to get the $800 he needed to finish paying his tuition. The director whose name was Paul had taught him what he needed to do and the filming was relatively easy; the men performing for the camera knowing what to do and he was just there to film it. He had thought about quitting after paying his tuition, but since his school break was close he decided it would be better to keep it over the break. He had stopped watching the videos at home; opting to pause just on one scene and leaving it like that. It was always a screenshot of the blond, sometimes just his mouth, sometimes his whole face but he always preferred the screenshot that showed only his eyes. He always sat in front of the TV as he ate his noodles, watching those eyes trying to find some type of emotion. He caught himself once talking to the TV about his day at school and he laughed about it, but realizing he rarely talked anywhere else he decided to continue doing it.

It was during his school break that everything changed. There were only two weeks left and he was thinking about telling Paul he was going to quit as he readied the camera for the day.

It was then that he came in.

His eyes followed him as he talked with Paul and then when he turned their eyes locked.

"Hey."

"Squall, meet Buster, we'll be filming him today," Paul said and he finished reading the camera with sweaty hands trying to ignore the blond as he began undressing.

Both filmed the blond as he masturbated on the bed and he listened to the crude humor exchanged between the two and the playful talk about how this was the blonds' first time. He forced himself to ignore every word and instead focused on his work but his heart was pounding in his chest and every nerve in his body tingled with the knowledge that he was there.

When they were finished the blond dressed again and received his payment. Squall later learned they would be filming him for the next couple of weeks. They never talked; Squall too shy to strike up a conversation and the blond seemed to be there to do his thing and leave soon after. The only words he exchanged were for the camera and for Paul. There was nothing different about him from what he had seen on the videos but the constant presence made him even more curious about him. He often had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling back whenever they were filming and the blond turned to his camera and smiled teasingly. It was never for him, it was just a show and every time the director told them it was done, the blond would dress again and the illusion would dissolve.

After the two weeks of the solo videos they had filmed, Squall was informed Buster would come to the studio to do a film with another man. He had wanted to quit before that day but Paul reminded him of the two week's notice and coupled with the part of himself that wanted to keep seeing the blond, he decided to stay. At least for the few weeks of the semester, he told himself.

It was during this time that he learned everything about how a film like this was made. The solo videos had been easy to film but he realized that the films involving more than one person required more than one camera man. For starters, the two participants were called to do the stills first. Squall saw the studio had gone through a few changes: new drapes, a coffee table which he assumed would be later used and a bunk with white covers that upon close inspection, were no longer as white as they had once been. While the area where the filming took place was kept somewhat clean, the other rooms were total disasters. Condoms were placed in candy bowls all over the studio and Squall had often found boxes of enemas and douche kits lying around the floors. Squall was in charge of the lighting and the handling of the equipment and he watched as Buster and his would be co-star Orel Cumalot arrived a few hours beforehand to settle in their places. He had seen some of the men opt to wear some type of makeup and others go without it. From what he had seen, he didn't think Buster needed anything, his face was perfect. When Paul called them to the not so white sofa, Squall watched as the photographers took pictures of them caressing and humping each other so that from the angle they were shot at, it look like they were doing the real thing. Squall learned these were done before the fucking while the actors were still presentable. He watched as the blond posed and smiled at the camera that boyish smile that was all innocence and he wondered if that smile came naturally to the blond or if it was as false as the fucking they were pretending to do for the camera.

While they waited for the rest of the crew, Buster and Orel spend some time talking, sharing some snacks and laughing at their own crude jokes. All the while, Squall watched from his corner where he sat cleaning his camera. He wondered if arriving early and striking conversation with their co-stars did them any good when it came time to act. He felt a twinge of something when the blond laughed at something Orel said and he distinctly heard him say something about "Coming all over that shit." What would happen if they didn't have any chemistry? If they really didn't like each other and weren't able to perform? He had learned from Paul that Buster had a set of rules: no kissing, he didn't suck cock and no bottoming for anyone. Paul only respected these rules because Buster was a gay for pay actor that many studios wanted to hire because of his good looks, his physique and especially because of his reputation as a "nasty boy." He didn't understand what Paul had meant by that but by the way the blond was talking to Orel, he could imagine why. Every word coming out of his mouth was laced with some type of sexual innuendo and words like cock and shit and cum and pussy left him as easy as the next breath. There was nothing wrong with that he thought, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was anything else to the blond than his porn star persona because he was acting just as he did on the movies. Orel on the hand seemed too happy to spend his time with Buster and Squall was sure he spent half his time flirting with the blond.

That day they were set to start the film and he was called by Paul when Buster and Orel went to their own respective dressing rooms.

"Want to make some extra cash?"

"Uh…sure," he answered. What else was he going to be asked to do? He was already in charge of one camera, the lighting and the delivery of snacks to the set.

"I usually have Missy on set to fluff Buster but she's filming out of state. Buster doesn't really care if it's a girl or guy as long as it's good, so want to fill in for her? It's $100 extra"

Squall blinked at Paul because he didn't know who Missy was or what he meant by "to fluff" but something told him he shouldn't ask. But he did anyway.

"To fluff him?"

"Yeah, suck his cock in between the scenes just to keep him ready. A hand job works as well; he can tell you what he likes. So you'll do it?"

The first thing that came to mind in his confused state was that if this was an actual job, was there an union somewhere out there that fought for the rights of fluffers worldwide? He should have said no, there wasn't anything for him to say yes but perhaps his body had decided that was the perfect time to betray him because he heard himself say "Yes."

He knocked on the door he had been told was that of Buster's room and when he opened it, he found the blond styling his hair by the mirror. Their eyes met on the mirror and Squall swallowed.

"Paul sent me to help you in anything you might need."

"Oh, cool." He kept styling his hair and Squall cleared his throat.

"So do you need anything? I mean…anything." Their eyes met again and this time the blond smirked and Squall noticed it was the same smirk he had seen on the movies. So he was faking it or this was simply how he was.

"I see. You're the fluffer today?"

"I guess so." Another smirk. "So…is there anything special you like?" He couldn't believe he was asking that. He might as well be asking if he wanted some French fries on the side.

"No kissing or fingering. Anything else, knock yourself out."

Squall realized that was the longest time he has spent talking to the blond and he stayed where he was, waiting to do his job. What would his mother say if she knew he was going to get paid just for sucking cock?

"I didn't know someone did this type of job," he admitted and Buster shrugged.

"I don't need it, my fist works just fine but Paul thinks he's giving us the royal treatment by providing a warm sucking mouth." He watched as the blond moved to the closet by the wall. When he opened it Squall saw all the articles of clothing he would expect in a porn studio. There were leather police jackets, firefighter costumes, shirts with the words 'Delivery Boy' on the front, combats boots, leather pants, belts and stacks of military fatigues. On the side there were sunglasses and silver chains and every other type of accessory he could imagine. He watched as Buster selected the military fatigues and the accompanied jacket, finishing it up with some sunglasses.

"Fuckable?" the blond asked, turning to him. When he received only silence he discarded the sunglasses. "Alright, no sunglasses then." Squall watched him sit on the chair in front of the mirror and when the blond unzipped his pants and looked at him expectantly he understood it was time.

His hands clenched in fists before wiping the sweat on his pants as he made his way to the blond. It was $100 he could spend on actual food. He kneeled in front of Buster, opening his pants a little further to take out the soft organ. Paul said a hand job was alright so he started with that, feeling the silky skin beneath his fingers as he moved it in and out of his fist. He felt a moment of panic when a thrill of arousal made its presence known in his groin but he knew his body well enough to know he would never get fully aroused in a situation like this. It was after all the reason he hadn't been one of the guys doing a solo video. When the door opened to reveal one of the other assistants Squall yanked his hand away.

"Filming starts in ten minutes." When the door closed again he turned around and saw the blond was watching him with that same smirk on his lips.

"First time fluffing huh? It's alright, I'll do it myself. You can leave; I'll be out in a minute. And don't worry, I'll tell Paul you were great."

When the blond finally came out of his room, his erection was visible under the tight military fatigues. Squall received a pat on the shoulder from Paul for his good job and everyone waited as the cameras were started and the lightning adjusted. The dialogue was the same as always, this time the room designed as something out of a military barracks.

"I'm here for inspection cadet," Orel said, who Squall guessed was supposed to be of higher rank due to the black leather uniform and decorative stars in the jacket. The blond went to say something just as ridiculous but Squall saw the longing stare Buster sent to Orel's barely concealed erection. It was all so exaggerated that Squall had to wonder how people could look at this and not laugh. They were doing the oral scene and the fucking today and after Orel found nothing illegal on the premise, one thing led to another and soon he was on his knees and sucking the blonds' cock down his throat while Buster held on to his long silvered colored hair. They had to stop several times and Squall watched as Buster and Orel kept with their crude jokes, one on his knees and the other with his cock straining up and almost hitting the other on the cheek.

When everything was ready again, Buster bent Orel over the coffee table as he prepared him. By the time he was finished, Paul again asked for a short break and motioned him to go to Buster. It was then he noticed the blonds' erection was waning. He looked around the room and saw that everyone was busy with some type of thing. Why didn't Orel do it? He thought but realized that he probably only did it for the cameras and whether Buster could keep an erection off scene or not was no longer his problem. He started again with a hand job but then Paul told him to use his mouth and Squall's mind told him he was also going to taste Orel since he had given oral to the blond first. It was $100 dollars but part of him knew he was doing this just out of simple curiosity. Curiosity over the blond, over everything that he was and Squall had never felt anything like it. The taste was as he expected, the slightly salty flavor something he had tasted before and his tongue sought out that bumpy vain on the underside.

"No teeth! That's amateur shit. Missy is a pro isn't she?" Paul asked from his place and Buster laughed with him. There was a TV somewhere on the back and there was porn and Squall caught the blond watching it. It was straight porn and he realized he was just a warm sucking mouth like the blond had described him. He saw Paul tap his watch looking at him and he fastened his rhythm until the blond was again firm in his mouth.

"We have a hard-on people! Let's get to work."

The announcement came and everyone left what they were doing and returned to their cameras and respective duties for the resuming of the film. Squall watched from behind his camera as the blond proceeded to fuck Orel, raising the silver haired man's legs to prop them onto his shoulders.

"Fuck me harder, you delectable cadet!"

"Sir, yes sir!" The room was filled with harsh pants and groaning and Orel pushed his hips harder against that of the blonds' until the table beneath him creaked with the weight.

"Who's your general?" Orel demanded and Buster replied with harsher thrusts that made more than one of the camera men wince.

"You are General Cumalot!"

"Sunnyside up!" Paul yelled and it was their cue to fall on the floor, Buster flipping General Cumalot on his hands and knees.

"Ten minutes of hard fucking boys" Paul ordered and hard fucking was delivered until Buster gave a loud "Fuck yeah, I'm gonna cum!" and everyone knew it was their signal to close in as he pulled out to take off the condom before stroking himself until he came all over General's Camelot back.

That was the end of day one and the next day the cum-shots and face-shots were filmed. The room had been left just the same as the day before and Squall was asked again to fluff for the day, this time doing Orel as well. Why he had said yes again he didn't know. But he guessed part of it had been the not so subtle threat from Paul that if he didn't he would fire him. He didn't want to quit now, not when Buster was there. When the time came for the filming, both were close to their orgasm thanks to him and after stroking each other on the couch, they came over their thighs only to quickly change to the face-shot position. Squall watched somewhat amazed as the actors embraced and groaned their lives away as they humped each other. These scenes were of them pretending they were still fucking and coming together. How these scenes would be used Squall had no idea but he found the exaggerated groaning cheesy and when everyone received their payment (he an extra $200), they left the studio that reeked of sweat and cum and snack food and he thought again about quitting.

But that night he came back to his apartment and played one of his videos again, pausing it on a screenshot of the blonds' eyes. He was sure there was light in them and he wondered if the blond left a little of that light he had in each cum shot.

It was that thought that kept him on the job and Squall met other porn stars that came to do films with the blond. There was Jack Nut, someone he disliked from the start because of his belief he was heaven's gift to Hollywood and another one that had two stage names: Luke Longbone and Armageddon Fist. It was with him that Squall formed somewhat of a friendship, if he dared called it that. He had a tattoo on his face and Squall had lunch with him a couple of times during their breaks. His name, he learned that very first day was Zell. He swore a lot and he used the word cock a lot too but with him it wasn't fake and for some reason it didn't sound as dirty as it had with Orel and Buster. He had a love of hot dogs which Squall found particularly ironic and it had been on one of those rare occasions when Squall had found himself eating with him in one of the dressing rooms that Buster had come in and he had learned his real name.

"Yo Cloud, come have a hot dog with me, Squall here refuses this tasty delicacy." Squall saw the blond grin and it was the first time he had seen that grin on his face. He also wondered if Cloud was another stage name.

"You don't like hot dogs?" the blond asked as he sat next to him and took one of the hot dogs from the table.

"I don't like what they're made of," he said and Cloud or Buster smiled at him.

"What are they made of?" He was about to answer when Zell interrupted.

"I don't want to know! I love my hot dogs and that's the end of it."

"You should try it, they taste good," the blond said and even offered the hot dog, bringing it close to his mouth.

"Come on, try it. It's not like I'm asking you to suck my cock." He declined and even though Zell kept talking and professing his love for the food, Cloud and Squall remained quiet. Zell then left to do one of his solo shoots and Squall surprised himself by starting a conversation.

"Your name is Cloud?"

"Yeah, sounds like another porn star name right?" he asked and Squall noticed the little smirk was slightly different from the ones on the videos.

"I can't say anything. Mine's Squall," he said in an attempt at a joke and Cloud's smirk grew into a smile. The blond wore jeans and simple t-shirts that were loose enough to only suggest the lean and toned body he knew was hiding underneath. He ate his burger while Cloud ate another hot dog and when the blond touched his knee with own he felt the touch on his knee, on his groin and on his spine. He looked at Cloud who was sipping on his soda and unaware of what he had caused.

"Want a ride home after work?" the blond asked and Squall swallowed a piece of meat to answer.

"Sure."

Cloud's car was not the expensive type but it was well kept and he was silent as the blond drove him home. When they arrived on the corner of 23rd Street the blond turned off the ignition and both were silent for a moment.

"Nice neighborhood. Am I going to get shot soon?" Squall couldn't help the small smile as he looked through the window at the street where he lived. It wasn't the best and Cloud's comment was rude and funny at the same time. They said good bye and it was the first of many rides home that little by little were filled with conversation and Squall began to realize the blond wasn't exactly like in the videos or in the studio. He was just too overly cautious about the way he presented himself to the people on the studio. His co-stars and Paul expected him to be a certain way and he fulfilled that role even if the cameras weren't rolling. It was only when Cloud was with Zell and with him that the blond stop playing that role. It was because of that reason that even when the semester started requiring more of his attention; he decided to stay on the job.

Three months ago

During the following couple of months Squall came to the conclusion that the blond was nothing like in the videos. Cloud liked going out to eat at Japanese restaurants and watching comedy and horror movies that made him laugh and sit on the edge of the seat with one of the large tubs of popcorn on his lap. The blond always invited him and the time they spent together was spent with him listening to the blond talk about random things. Squall enjoyed listening to him talk and he found that watching his lips move was easily more sensual than any of the videos he could have seen of the blond. They never talked about work and Squall was left with many questions. He wanted to know if Cloud was indeed a gay for pay actor or if this was just Paul's way of promoting the sales of his videos. It was during one of his rides back home that Squall had finally invited him up to his apartment. When they had finally made it inside Cloud watched as he pulled the door's knob upward until the door closed and then he pushed his weight into it until there was a click and he was able to lock it.

"Make yourself at home," he said and the blond turned around to look at the tiny living room.

"I usually don't feel like my life is being threatened by the mafia in my apartment." Squall ignored the comment and went to the kitchen to heat some water. When he returned to the living room he felt all the blood drain from his face when he saw what Cloud was holding on his hands. It was one of his videos.

"The Cock Ring? Fuck, I had forgotten that one. I was terrible in it," Cloud laughed and even when the blond turned to look at him, he noticed it was a good laugh and not one of the fake ones.

"Since when do you have this?" the blond asked.

"I saw it before I started working with Paul."

"So are you my fan? What do you do when you watch this?" Cloud asked and Squall turned to clean an imaginary smudge on the sofa.

"I don't do anything."

"You do know I get no royalties from you buying this video right? I got paid for making it but I get shit from you being able to jerk off to it."

"I said I don't do anything."

"Ah," was all Cloud said before placing the movie back where it had been. "Let's watch TV." It was as if the conversation had never happened and Squall showed Cloud his TV only had a few channels and the antenna had to be in a certain position for these to be visible. They ate noodles that day as they watched the six o'clock news.

Cloud liked to take pictures of ducks at the parks and when he talked Squall got the feeling the blond didn't have the chance to talk much. It made him wonder why and by the end of those two months he realized Cloud was one of those souls that wanted to connect with others, who sat on park benches desperately wanting to talk to the stranger beside him but that never did out of fear of being recognized. Squall often stared at Cloud as the blond talked about the history of one of the building they were standing in front of and he could almost imagine the heartache and stress the blond had to go through every day whenever he went out the street.

Present

It had been a Friday night ten months ago on this sofa where he had first seen Buster Bendover on his TV. Ten months later he found himself seated with Cloud Strife next to him. Cloud had learned that Squall's neighborhood was as safe as anywhere else. He had learned which way to move the door's knob and how much force was necessary to close it. He also learned the perfect position for the antenna to work and they had some sort of ritual of watching the news every day. He had also learned Squall's favorite flavor of noodles and in which counter they were located. It was on this particular night, two weeks from quitting that Squall finally decided to talk about their jobs.

"I told Paul I'm quitting. In two weeks." Cloud gathered some noodles with his chopsticks, blowing on them before taking them into his mouth. "I'm graduating next month and I got offered this internship."

"That's great," Cloud finally said after he swallowed.

"Yeah." The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence and Squall no longer felt hungry.

"Paul offered me my 'grand opening' and I have to tell him tomorrow if I want it or not," Cloud said and Squall looked at him confused.

"Grand opening?"

"My first bottoming scene. It's a big deal since all the movies I've done have me topping."

"Oh." Buster had a set of rules: no kissing, he didn't suck cock and no bottoming for anyone. That's what Paul had said. "Are you going to do it?" There was a longer silence between them.

"Why do you never ask me about why I got into this business?" the blond asked, placing the bowl on the table and turning to face him.

"Everyone has their own reason," he said.

"What was your?"

"Money. I needed the money but I wasn't able to do it and Paul let me handle the camera. You know the rest." And you, he wanted to say. I stayed because of you.

Cloud hummed for a moment and then he turned to watch the TV. "I was fourteen when I got out of my house, stole money from my mother and made it into another city. I made some friends back then and I stayed with them, on the couch on the floor, anywhere until I had to stay on the streets. It's not as bad as it sounds really, I met Zell one day and he was fucking high as a kite. He was about to jump off the bridge I used to stay under and I took care of him until he was fine again. We survived by stealing and doing some odd jobs to get by until one day this guy pulled over and offered us fifty bucks each for a blow job. I didn't do it but Zell did and we had the best fucking dinner that day. He started making money like that and I made some money as a delivery boy and when we saved enough we moved here. When we turned eighteen we got involved with Paul. First it was just pictures and then solo videos and that little bit of promised cash at the end of the day becomes addicting you know, I mean, you're making $400 a scene. You're making more money in a day than you can make in one month. Do you know why Paul says Zell and I are real pigs?" he asked and Squall didn't answer but the blond didn't seem to be waiting because he laughed and this time it was that fake laugh from the videos. "Because Zell started with big shit from the start. Pissing, fisting, gangbangs, you name it. Everyone assumed I did too and I didn't correct them. What for? They paid me more. "

Squall listened as Cloud talked of the movies he made, of how he made his rules because he didn't want any of those things done to him by strangers.

"Also…I'm not gay for pay. I'm gay." Cloud said it as if expecting Squall to react in some type of obvious manner because when the brunet only placed his own bowl of noodles on the table, the blond finally turned to look at him. Squall knew he could ask now about everything he wanted to know but his question surprise them both.

"Have you had a boyfriend?" It was a stupid question compared to everything else he could ask and he knew it. Cloud turned to the TV again and he started talking about his childhood, about the small town he grew up in, about the way he had always felt different and how many times he had been beaten at school. He spoke of everything as he was talking of someone else and Squall could see from where he obtained that cold, cynical role he use for the videos. Cloud talked about how he was never allowed to experience any of the normal things a kid would have experienced growing up, the little crushes and the kisses behind the school building because the crushes and the kisses he wanted were from the boys that would later beat him or isolate him from their groups.

"Porn was…it was a way to explore my sexuality in a safe place. Big mistake that was," Cloud said and another of those video laughs escaped. "My first fuck on screen was for $600 and I got this t-shirt with my cum on it as a souvenir. I burned it the first chance I got. I kept telling myself I would stop and I didn't. And you know the best part? I called my mother that very same night and she cried when she heard it was me. I told her I was gay and you know what she said. I love you Cloud, you're my son." Cloud laughed then. "I ran away because I thought she wouldn't love me."

"Why didn't you go back?" Squall whispered and he decided he didn't like that laugh.

"And tell her what? Hey mom, I just fucked this guy for $600 and I've done plenty of videos jerking off in front of strangers?" Cloud shook his head, still looking at the TV. "I call her every day and she thinks I'm in college."

"You shouldn't be ashamed," Squall said and when Cloud turned look at him he continued. "I haven't been in this for long and I haven't done what you have but I've come to realize this business is filled with ordinary people. Some do it for the money; some do it because they like it. Everyone does something they're at least a little ashamed about. The man on the bodega downstairs, he has a masters' in engineering and he's working the counter of a bodega. We're all doing something that is vapid and unnecessary and completely not what we were destined to be doing. That's life. Porn is empty and filled with all the bad clichés but you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"So you're not ashamed?" the blond asked.

"A little, but not for the reason you think. I was going to quit five months ago."

"Why didn't you?"

How could he explain his reason for staying? How could he say he had stayed because he had been convinced there was something in his eyes he wanted to know more about?

"You. I met you." They weren't saying everything they wanted and he only hoped Cloud understood.

There was another long silence and Squall returned to the beginning of the conversation. "Are you going to accept Paul's offer?" When the blond didn't answer, he continued. "Why the rules of no kissing and bottoming?"

"I never had a boyfriend," Cloud answered, his eyes on the TV.

Buster had a set of rules: no kissing, he didn't suck cock and no bottoming for anyone. Also…I'm not gay for pay. I'm gay. Porn was…it was a way to explore my sexuality in a safe place. I never had a boyfriend.

"You've never been kissed have you?" he asked and the blond turned to look at him and for the first time since renting that movie ten months ago he saw a flicker of emotion in those bright blue eyes.

"Cloud," he whispered and he stared at the soft hair that even without the gel stood in spikes and those eyes, those eyes made him beautiful and Squall couldn't help but think that physical beauty was just a pale intimation of how beautiful he was inside. He whispered a question and there was that silence again until Cloud smiled a little and it was lifted. The smile was all the answer he needed and he leaned just enough to kiss him. It was a chaste kiss, a pressing of lips and hardly wet but it spoke of the feelings they had been afraid to confess. When they separated a few seconds later, Cloud looked up at him with a boyish smile on his lips and Squall decided this was real and perfect.

"We're getting cable," Cloud announced all of a sudden and Squall understood.

"I'm ok with that."

"And we're definitely getting some good movies to watch, not that crap you have."

He smiled, "Alright."

"We're changing that fucking door too." Squall laughed and nodded his support.

"We're definitely getting some real food apart from these noodles that by the way, suck big time."

"Real food. Got it."

"And I'm not having sex with you yet" Cloud said, turning to the TV but not before Squall saw that flicker of emotion again. He reached and grabbed one of Cloud's hands in his and when the blond peered up at him he said, "I'm ok with that too." Cloud smiled that smile Squall had seen too little of and he promised himself to bring it out more often. He turned to the TV as they both settled to watch the six o' clock news.

Yeah, he was alright with all of that.

A/N:

1 - Fluffer: a person whose job on the set of a pornographic film consists of sexually arousing the male participants in between the filming of scenes.

2 - Pig: In sex, this term refers to an individual willing to perform any sex act and in particular what many would consider degrading sex acts.

3 - I wanted to make up names for the porn movies and thought of "The penetrator" and "The good, the bad and the horny" but I googled them and what do you know, there are movies with those names. So I came up with the other ones.

4 - There's a movie with this name and I was inspired by it but there's drugs, betrayal, murder and other things in it that are bad for your health.

5 - I got the names from a porn star generator site.

Buster Bendover – Cloud Strife (Perfect name for Cloud!)

Lorenzo Lovegun – Zack Fair (cameo appearance at the beginning)

Orel Cumalot – Sephiroth (He will forever be General Cumalot in my heart.)

Missy Quickie – Tifa Lockhart

Luke Longbone / Armageddon Fist* – Zell Dincht (I will never look at his Metal Knuckles the same way again.)

Jack Nut – Seifer Almasy (Does he seems like a Jack Nut?)

*Not my idea, or the fact that he was into fisting porn. =P