Truth Trials

o.O.o

"I'm not doing it," Payson argued. She tried, she did, but she was not a "flower". This whole blooming from the center, expanding her delicate petals up to the sun, was just not her. Sasha had told her time and time again that she needed to connect to her floor exercise. She needed to tell a story with her body and she wasn't connected to a perennial.

"Payson, we went over this. Since we are starting this artistic route-" Sasha sounded tired. He was probably exhausted from fighting with her, and all his other gymnasts. She knew that Emily still had superglued the chip on her shoulder- fighting Sasha over every tiny upgrade because it was too hard, or too scary for her. Kaylie was working through her problems at home and in a safe environment, and Lauren… well Lauren was Lauren.

Payson huffed. "I know. Ballet classes are all about bringing out my inner dancer and all that, but Sasha, I am not a flower. We can find another dance routine, another metaphor but every time I blossom I hate it even more because its not me. I am trying to be more graceful but I have never been a daisy."

"We've been working on this routine for months now, I don't understand why you suddenly want to change," Sasha fought back.

Honestly, Payson wanted to change her routine because she wasn't happy with her progress. The last couple of months her power skills were coming back and combined with her ballet, she was getting her DOD's up on all the other events. Floor was always her weakest event. Upon her return, Sasha had pushed her hard on floor. She thought it would be the event that put her name back on the map. But she never had that 'Ah-ha' moment with it.

"I agree with Payson," Austin finally stepped in. He had been watching on from the sidelines, herding potential gossips away. "You say she needs a story, and I think you are overlooking the perfect story to tell."

Payson nodded. "My story isn't about flowering into this beautiful delicate plant. No one has ever seen me as gentle or captivating like a flower, it doesn't connect with me and it doesn't connect with the audience."

Sasha grimaced. "The flower is a metaphor. It talks about you emerging as a new athlete. You were a seed that needed nurturing and care to flourish into the beautiful artistic gymnast you are now." Even he didn't seem as convinced as he once was.

"That makes no sense!" Austin said as he stepped between Payson and Sasha. "Payson has always been beautiful. Before and after her accident she has always been gorgeous because she is passionate about her sport. This isn't like her first-time entering elite where she needed to define who she was. People already know Payson. They know how hard working and driven she is. They know that she is a force to be reckoned with and that they should never look down on her or discount her. If you want to tell her story, then it should be her whole story, not just what you think the audience will like. Start her strong, show the audience where she began then do the delicate in the middle to show her recovery and end strong. It's like a power flower power sandwich!" Austin suggested.

Not how she would have worded it, but Austin got their point across. If she really needed a story to tell, then it should be something she understood. She struggled and worked hard for everything she got. She only had herself to blame for getting hurt. She didn't know her limits and that's how she broke her back. If she was truly going to be the best gymnast she could be, then she needed to tell her whole story, with the whole truth.

"You want to fit her entire career into 90 seconds?" Sasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It will be a good 90 seconds," Payson tried. They had a plan. An outline of a plan really. An idea that they started to work on and hoped Sasha would help complete.

"Great. It will be a great 90 seconds," Austin supported. He was the one who came up with the idea to change her choreography. He noticed her struggling and while he had great speeches in the past to get her through things, this time he knew it wasn't going to work. So, he came up with a crazy idea and she loved it.

Sasha looked between them both. "You planned this," he accused.

They had. A couple of nights ago, Austin had taken her back to his place to talk about it.

A COUPLE NIGHTS EARLIER

She raised her head making sure to tense her neck- one beat. Slowly she brought her arms around her torso and up- two beats. She swept her left leg around her body- one beat- and pushed her chest up as she stretched towards the ceiling- two beats. She leaned forward on her right knee and started to stand, her arms twisting around her to imitate petals or leaves falling open- four beats.

Toes pointed as she lifted her leg straight up. Twisting her body, she lightly rolled her arms over her head and leaned back. She could feel her extensions, she knew when to tense her diagram, how to point her fingers just so…. But she didn't like it.

"You look like shit," Austin called out as he turned off the music.

Payson glared at her friend. "Excuse me?" she demanded an explanation.

"You're too stiff. I can see you counting the steps in your head. Its like watching one of those Russian ballerina's, the ones that are dead behind the eyes."

"At least I look like a ballerina," she mumbled to herself. "I am not dead behind the eyes," she protested loud enough for him to hear.

"You sure? Cause you are just going through the paces, if Sasha was here he would be telling you to feel it. Feel the music and let it flow through you or something. You know, get in touch with something."

"Very articulate," she teased him.

Austin walked towards her and took her hands gently in his. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah… he made me do this weird body paint dance on canvas. He wanted to show me what I could create, but…."

"You passed that hurdle." Austin pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "You needed to see that you could make something beautiful, but now that you know you can do it, you want to do it better than anyone else."

Payson leaned against Austin and hummed. What was the point of competing, if you weren't the best?

"Let's get out of here. I don't think the gym is the place for this breakthrough." Austin lead them to their bags and out of the gym.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked.

"My place. You need a blank space. Somewhere that won't distract you."

Considering Austin's place was still mostly unfurnished, it was a good blank space.

When they got to Austin's he led her to the couch and told her to think.

"53.2," Austin whispered.

"What?" Payson curled up at the end of the couch, pushing herself away from the gold medalist.

"53.2. That was your score when you won the Junior Nationals your first year. 53.4 was your score when you lost to Kelly Parker the next year with a torn ACL. She scored a 53.6 in perfect health. The minute you stepped off that 2nd place podium, you went to your coach and started to work out how to be better. It didn't matter that you were injured, that you competed taped up like a mummy, you were already looking to the next year and how you could beat Parker."

She was flattered. She remembered all her scores because she just knew she could do better. She never thought Austin was the type to be so… sweet.

53.4 with a torn ACL… she has a bad knee, a broken back, and more bruises and calluses than she can count. She wakes up at 5am every day to train. She restricts herself from eating most food. She never had that typical high school experience. She didn't get to go to football games and date boys, she didn't get to go to the movies and spend all weekend in bed. Her time spent in High school was with a back brace. She didn't date now or then.

Was it all worth it? Being broken and having no life at 17?

Yes.

Payson would hate to waste a whole weekend being unproductive. She didn't care that she couldn't eat donuts or bacon, it was just food. She could eat all that after the Olympics. She needed a goal in her life. When she was down and out, she was miserable that she had nothing to work towards. Normal wasn't for her, being last place wasn't for her. She only wanted to be on top. Winning gold would make all her pain worth it.

"I want to tell my story," she declared.

Austin popped up from around the corner, probably waiting her out. "Then we tell your story. How?"

Payson looked at him desperately. "I don't know." But she felt like if she didn't tell her whole truth once, then she would never get to the top. Pretending that everything was fine was like a boulder weighing her down.

A warm arm wrapped around her shoulders as Austin sat beside her. "A strong tumbling pass to start."

A chuckle burst through her mouth at the thought. She had said the same thing to Sasha and he shot her down. "I like that. Strong tumbling pass to start."

"Then we break out your mad ballet skills."

"We?"

"We. I am so helping you choreograph this thing."

Payson rolled her eyes. "And what do you know about choreography?" she asked as she leaned into his side. He was warm and comforting. He was grounding her and keeping her focussed.

"I know enough. I know that Podkopayeva stunned the world with her danceability in 1996. People say she was the perfect combination of power, style, and grace and she started her routine with a strong tumbling pass."

"Sasha won't like it," she pointed out.

Austin hummed. "We ambush him then. End of practice when most of the gymnasts have gone home, we make him see it our way."

"He'll love that…" she responded sarcastically. Sasha was all about taking risks, as long as he was the one in charge of them.

"I know something else he won't like," Austin whispered.

Looking up, Payson waited for Austin to continue. She watched as her friend slowly leaned down. Her eyelids fluttered closed as his lips brushed against hers. "You're right. He wouldn't like this," she said slowly, allowing he lips to gently brush against his. Pushing up, she kissed him with a fierceness she didn't know she possessed.

Back to Present

Payson blushed at the memory. She had needed something from him that night. Reassurance, acceptance… the feeling of being wanted. Pushing those thoughts away she focussed on her coach.

"Please Sasha, we have time. It's not like I'm going to World's. I got months to get this new choreography perfect. When I make my return, I want it to be right."

He didn't look happy but Sasha did take a minute to think which was a good sign. When he took a moment then that meant he was thinking things through until the end game.

"Fine, but we don't have months. You have three weeks to get this new choreography down.

She wanted to protest that it wasn't enough time but she knew what Sasha was up to. He was testing her, pushing her to see how much she could take before her body wouldn't let her anymore. He wasn't trying to rebreak her, but see where her limits lie.

"Deal."

o.O.o

Something had been bugging her lately. Her and Austin were in a 'relationship' kind of. They hung out, they held hands, they basically did all the couple-y stuff they were supposed to do except… they never went on a date. Like a date one of them planned with the full intention that it was a date. So she couldn't say they were dating since they never did that one pivotal step.

She needed to change that.

So for the first time in her life, Payson Keeler, needed to plan a date. She didn't want to do just dinner, or go to the zoo. She needed something unique, something fun… Scrolling through search pages trying to find inspiration, she stumbled on to the YWCA page. They sometimes put together fun events, and Payson was hoping they would have something coming up.

Then she saw something catch her eye. Well, it was something she saw before on the community board at Spruce Juice, but she never looked further. The Y was doing a fundraising run/walk to help raise money for an anti-bullying program they were starting. The program was targeted to helping children and the LGBT community. Registration was free, but everyone was encouraged to raise or donate at least 50 dollars to the cause. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't really a date at all, but Payson wanted to participate. Before she could think it through, she registered herself and Austin.

Picking up her phone, Payson called her boyfriend.

"Hey Keeler, what's up?" He picked up after the first ring. It made her smile.

"Hey Tucker… I was thinking about going on a date," she started. God, she was terrible at this.

"I love the sound of that."

"Yeah, well I wanted to plan it but the thing is, I have no experience and I think I'm really bad at this-" she rambled. Austin was going to think she was dork. Who wanted to do a fundraiser on their first date?

"Pay, it's okay. I bet you're not as bad at this as you think. If you want I can plan our first date," Austin offered.

She shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "I signed us up for a fun run. I know it sounds lame but it's to raise money for-"

"Sounds great," Austin cut her off once more. "When is it?"

"Wait, that's it?" Payson was stunned. "You don't want to know the details, you don't want to do something more fun or romantic for our first date?"

Austin hummed on the other end. "If its something you want to do, then it will be great. Send me the details. I can throw it on my twitter and get more people donating."

She smiled. "Thanks. I um… gave us a team name," she admitted. It was embarrassing but she had heard Lauren mutter it around her and stuck. "Paystin."

His chuckle was deep, "It's perfect. But, I have to ask. If I throw this out on twitter, are you okay with me revealing that we are dating?"

They had been very quiet about their relationship. They told her parents, Becca and Sasha. Sasha was not happy about it, but he said he would revoke the no dating rule because he wasn't going to lose his best gymnasts. They weren't advertising it but this would be a big step. She went from having no boyfriend to having a very famous one. "I think that will be okay."

She sent him the link and the confirmation email that they were signed up. She felt good about this. It was an activity they both enjoyed and it was for a good cause.

o.O.o

"Let's get this party started!" Austin yelled as he started hopping around. He was waving his arms and bobbing his head like it personally offended him and he was trying to detach it.

Sasha sighed as he watched his best male gymnast make a fool of himself. Ellen Beals was in the building and Austin thought that being an idiot was a good distraction for the girls. Payson was at ballet for a more focussed class that Austin couldn't get into. Clearly, he needed some way to release his excess energy.

"Tucker!" he bellowed. He suppressed a smirk at the number of people who jumped. "In the annex. If you can dance, you can perfect your forward up rise into an inverted swallow."

He got an answering groan. He loved causing his gymnast's pain. It really got the blood flowing. Kept him young.

"You know he just misses her," Kim said as she came to stand beside him.

"I know. He doesn't have his normal work out buddy to shower him with attention." He still didn't like the little relationship he had with Payson. They both needed to focus.

"It's not that," Kim denied. "He just likes having someone there for him. You may not know a lot about his family but they never really supported him. They didn't turn up to meets, they didn't go to his championships… I think this the first time he has a real support system behind him."

Sasha sighed. That was something he could understand. The start of his career he had his family but after the death of his mother and the fall out with his father he was all alone. He knew the desire to have someone there to cheer you on. "He loves your family. He needed you guys."

"He's a good kid. But what I am worried about is Beals. She's got a scheming look in her eye and I saw her talking to Steve Tanner. Things look heated."

"Did you hear anything?" Kim was probably his best ally and spy in this place.

"Not much. They had an agreement about something and it looks like Beal's broke it. But I can make a few guesses," Kim whispered.

That didn't sound good. "Your guesses are?"

Kim frowned. "Steve and Chloe broke up at the same time that Emily's newest scholarship ended suddenly. My guess is that Steve was secretly funding Emily and Beals was in on it and spilled, or found out and told in order to mess up Emily. What a grown woman has against a child I will never understand."

"Wait? Steve and Chloe broke up?" Sasha asked. They made an odd but sweet couple. He was secretly rooting for them. Chloe got Steve to relax a little and Steve helped Chloe be more responsible. It didn't hurt that Chloe and Emily needed a stable man in their lives

"Last week I think. One day I saw Chloe crying in the parking lot. I think Steve had broken it off. He's been extra serious lately and Chloe was so infatuated with him… I can't see her ending it."

"Beals is a vile woman," Sasha muttered under his breath. She already helped drive Kaylie to an eating disorder, she refused to see Payson's potential, and she tried everything in her power to keep Emily down. The only one she didn't mess with was Lauren, but it seems that may change.

"Do you think Payson could get English citizenship?"

Kim snorted. "We already moved to Colorado for Payson's gymnastics, London isn't that much further."

o.O.o

The day of the fun run came along. Austin waited until a few days before to post it on social media and promised to match every donation people made under their team name. There had been a media storm when it launched.

News outlets were asking Austin if they were dating, his manager had moved into the guest bedroom at Austin's house to get a handle on everything, and once again there were reporters camping on her parent's front lawn. Rich was great and managed to spin every question towards the event and encouraged people to donate, even calling out the more aggressive news portal to donate as well. There was also a ton of celebrity support. Austin was big name in gymnastics, athletics, and in Hollywood. He had appeared in a few shows as a cameo and even did one action movie. It was small role with two fight scenes where he got to parkour over some walls and shrubbery before getting shot down by the main guy.

There were athletes retweeting him, some actors and few actresses that he was linked to in the past. Payson never imagined that things would get this crazy. But the people loved it. Paystin started trending, and even though they never confirmed their relationship, some blog sites where already talking about how Payson was shopping for wedding dresses. The rumor she started probably didn't help as a 'close personal friend' had confirmed that there was wedding talk between them. She only needed one guess on who could be behind that.

Austin's team weren't confirming anything, simply saying that they entered the fun run together and they hoped people would be kind and open their wallets to donate a few dollars to a great cause. The donations were crazy. The people organizing the event secretly told her that they server had crashed at one point with people trying to get on and to donate. It was probably one of their most successful runs.

That morning, just after they checked in, signed all the waivers and picked up their numbers, Austin pulled her close and snapped a picture. It was a cute picture. She was leaning into his side, up on her tippy toes trying to place a kiss on his cheek. She had stolen his famous sunglasses and had them perched on her head. Austin smirking at the camera, his eyes slightly squinted from the sun. He posted it with a simple caption 'First date.'

After that he turned off his phone and they ran.

It was fun. That was the point of the fundraiser. They did the 10k run, and kept pace with each other. There was probably pictures of them trying to race ahead of the other, laughing, smiling, even one of Austin throwing water at her mid race. They blocked out everyone but each other and the other runners, not needing other's spoiling their good time.

It was a great day.

They stopped to talk to the organizers and even did an interview with a local news station real quick.

The interviewer was a young woman with too much breasts and not enough tact. Payson normally didn't care who was holding the microphone as long as they let her leave quickly, but this lady was something else.

"So Austin, what inspired you to do this run today?" She asked while fluttering her eyelashes.

Payson barely managed to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Well, it was Payson's idea actually. She called me up and told me about it and how she already signed us up. I was happy to go along with her." He answered.

The woman twitched and turned the microphone towards her. "Payson? What made you sign you both up?"

She flashed her most angelic smile, the one she used against her father when she really wanted something before she answered. "I was looking for something to do with Austin for our first date when I saw the advertisement for this. I felt like I really needed to help out. I have been a victim of bullying in the past and I want to help people in the future that suffer from bullying. I feel like the LGBT community especially needs help as there's still too many people in this country and this world that refuse to accept them. No one should be made to suffer for their race, sexual orientation, or how they identify."

The woman looked uncomfortable but kept a tight smile on her face. "That was a very passionate speech."

"Good. Hopefully it will help make people listen and understand," Payson countered.

"Austin, you agree with her?"

"100%," He answered quickly. "People should be free to be who they are, to date who they want, and to live life in a healthy way that makes them happy. I work in a tough sport. I have been bullied in the past and have seen others getting pushed around and pressured by other athletes, coaches, even organization members. What I really want people to learn from all this is stop being assholes and be nice and good to each other. It's really not as hard as they pretend it is to be a decent person."

Payson had smiled for real at that point. Austin was a great support and wonderful man.

The interviewer quickly ended things after that, maybe because she got the feeling she would be dragged into something more than a fluff piece, or because her network feared that Austin would keep calling people assholes on live television. Either way, they got to leave finally.

As they were leaving the festivities, Austin switched his phone back on and immediately got a call.

"Hey buddy!" Austin grinned. Payson watched as Austin's eyebrows raised and he smiled. "You're kidding me! That's awesome. I thank you, and my bank account thanks you!"

"What happened?" she asked as he wrapped up the conversation.

He didn't stop grinning. "Rich said that the photo sent my sponsors crazy. They loved it and a few want to re sign me for more money."

Payson smiled. "That's great."

"And…" he said slowly, "People are going crazy over us. I think you may need to rethink your amateur statues or at least get a PR person to help. This is blowing up, in a good way, and Rich really thins you need someone capable of releasing statements on your behalf."

Austin's phone started to ring again and he switched it off. "That's enough of that."

Her stomach fluttered at his words. She would need to think more about a manager later, that was something she needed to discuss with her parents. Right now though, "Should we go celebrate? There's that sushi place you like nearby."

Austin leaned down and kissed her slowly. "This has been a great first date." He admitted.

She agreed.

o.O.o

"I don't like the colour purple," Payson admitted. She was sitting in Sasha's office helping sort through some paperwork for their coach.

Sasha gave her a funny look and Austin paused in eating the cookies that Summer brought in.

"You hate purple?" Austin asked as crumbs flew out of his mouth. The younger gold medalist seemed very confused.

"I figured I should be more open and honest. I don't like purple."

"But all your practice leo's are purple… and your track suits…" Sasha seemed just as baffled as Austin as they were both staring at her. But she was going to be more honest. She saw what keeping secrets did to the other girls, and Payson didn't want to fall into a pit like that.

Granted she didn't have many secrets, but she was going to get them off her chest.

"When I came to The Rock, Lauren informed me that Kaylie's colours were pink and blue, her's was orange and green, and that I looked like a purple girl. I tried wearing blue one day and Lauren made me feel so bad about myself. She said blue made me look bloated, that science came so far that a blue whale could walk among them. I went to the mall that day and bought a purple leo. I wasn't out to make friends, but I didn't want to be bullied either. I cried that night and I think that's the first time I ever thought about leaving The Rock."

Sasha was at her side in an instant. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and stared deeply in her eyes. "Payson, you are-"

She held up a hand to cut him off. "I am not fat. I am beautiful. I am all these other nice words I am sure. But at that time, facing Lauren, someone I knew was prettier than me was… I let it get to me." Feeling something hitting her hand, Payson glanced down to see Austin trying to slip an apple oatmeal cookie into her palm. She smiled at him and took a bite of the baked good. It was okay. Nothing like her mother's oatmeal chocolate chip.

"Where is this all coming from?" Sasha asked.

It was three events that triggered all this.

They weren't sure how it happened, but news about Kaylie's eating disorder had hit the papers. She was attending a rehab clinic now and someone snuck a camera in and got a shot of her in group therapy. It was awful. No one should have their private issues spread like that. But it had her thinking. Kaylie had so many confidence and family issues, Payson wished she was a little more open so she could have got the help she needed before resorting to anorexia.

Then there was Emily. Chloe only wanted the best for her kids, they all knew that, but sometimes the woman didn't know when to shut up. Chloe had come into the gym to let Sasha know that Emily wouldn't be attending practice for a few days. Sasha had asked why and instead of saying 'Family Emergency' or something anyone would understand… Chloe blurted out that Emily had been arrested.

It was a sad situation. Brian had started having a seizure and Emily tried to get the drugs for him. But, she didn't have the money. Instead of calling some one for help, she opted to steal the drugs. Emily had such trust issues that she probably never even considered calling her mom, a friend, or even Sasha for help.

Now both girls were in a bad way and Payson never wanted to be in a situation like that again. Her parents agreed that it may be time to bring in a professional to manage her career and one of the first things Rich, as there was really no other choice, said to her was that she needed to be completely transparent with him. He could work miracles but only if he knew what he might have to face in the future. Anything that may impact her in the future and cause a scandal, he needed to know about. After telling him, she knew she also needed to tell the two of the most important men in her life.

"I'm tired of going it alone or waiting until the last minute to get help… I am going to be more honest with both of you and my family." Sasha squeezed her hand.

"Okay. You don't like purple… any other dark secrets we should know about?" Austin asked with a teasing voice.

There was one secret she knew she needed to tell. The purple story was really just to break the ice. "I bought illegal cortisone and was going to use it before nationals." Both of them were stunned. Yes, it was something they never would have expected from her. But there it was. Probably the worst thing she had ever done and it was good to admit it. "I didn't use it. I didn't use it…. And I went out on the floor and fell on bars. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had taken it. Would I be national champ? Would I have gotten hurt worse later? I don't know."

"Payson." Austin picked her up and hugged her tightly.

She hugged him back and gave him a few comforting pats on the back. "It's okay Austin. You don't need to cry like a girl. Pull it together."

Austin laughed as he let her go. "You're the one going through a mental breakdown, why are you comforting me?"

She rolled her yes. "I'm not even done confessing all my sins. If you're going to act like this after each one, we'll be here all night."

"You have more?" Sasha asked. His voice seemed higher.

Payson casually took her seat again. "Alright let's see what else I got. I lied to my mom and used money she gave me to buy a dress to buy the cortisone and then told her it was stolen. I kissed Nicki Russo and we almost dated. I skipped class one day and Ike – this guy I was also kind of dating- offered me weed. I told him no and stopped talking to him after that… Oh! And I bought condoms and snuck them into Kelly Parker's bag before Nationals."

"And they think I am a rebel," Austin said as he laughed. "You have had such an exciting life Keeler. I don't think I can look at you the same way again."

She punched him lightly on the shoulder. Austin was so dramatic sometimes. "You may have the title of America's Badass, but I am living it."

o.O.o