A/N: Almost 6,000 words, my friends! This story is based off of Erin (explosionpow)'s head!canon that after their mission, all four of our incredible heroes and heroines live together as roommates and best friends and boyfriends and girlfriends. And that head!canon is my new favorite thing in the world. Hope you enjoy!

Arnold Cunningham glanced idly at the at the clock. It was 5:24 p.m. in the Cunningham-Hatimibi-Price-McKinley household, and, as usual, Kevin Price was leaning over the stove, squinting at his latest creation and poking at the carmelized onions with a spatula. The cooking was being done with much less grace than usual, and Arnold knew it was because Kevin was nervous. Nervous about what, he wasn't honestly sure. It could be because Connor McKinley was already 9 minutes late.

Or it could be because Connor McKinley's parents were coming over for dinner.

Nobody sitting around the tiny kitchen table had ever met Connor's parents before. The only time Arnold could remember Connor speaking about them was that one, awful party where Connor had had too much beer and turned out to be a miserable drunk and spent a good twenty minutes imitating his parents by ranting (or slurring) about traditional family values and that nice man Mitt Romney, wouldn't he make a good president and those damn commies and homosexuals and Connor had ended up crying by the end of it and all Arnold had gotten out of it was Connor's parents were Good Upstanding Mormons Who Were Kinda Really Disappointed By Their Son.

Arnold didn't know why anyone would be disappointed by Connor. He was so- nice. And he didn't scare people off, usually. Not like Arnold did.

Although, Connor did seem to cry a lot now that he was home from Uganda, and sometimes he moped for days at a time, and maybe some people would find that scary. If Arnold was being honest with himself, he certainly did.

But he didn't have to deal with it much because on those days when Connor was sullen or even broken down completely and on the days when he wouldn't leave his room, Kevin was there, rubbing Connor's back or hugging him or whispering I love yous. Kevin was a good boyfriend, Arnold thought. Connor always seemed to smile around Kevin.

Of course, Nabulungi smiled a lot around Arnold, so maybe he was a good boyfriend, too.

Today, it seemed, the whole household was nervous. No one wanted to mess up in front of Connor's parents. And, of course, no one wanted to be the reason they never came back.

Arnold privately thought he was the most likely to ruin things completely and offend the McKinley parents so deeply they'd go running, but even with all the odds in his favor, he knew he couldn't be more nervous than Kevin.

Kevin was nervous because Kevin wanted a lot of things. He wanted Connor to be happy. He wanted Connor's family to accept him. He wanted Connor's family to accept him- Kevin. He wanted Connor's family to give him their blessing and he wanted to make such a good impression that just maybe, Connor's family would think about taking their wonderful, smart, driven, hilarious, passionate son back. Their son, who was far, far better than they deserved, wasn't going to be happy until he could invite his family over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Kevin understood that. He didn't get it, but he understood. And now matter how many times he told Connor he deserved more, that he was better, and shined brighter than all of of his family, all he got was a small smile and shaky "I love you" and a silent Connor for the rest of the afternoon.

No, this dinner had to go absolutely right. Because there was nothing Kevin hated more than a sad Connor. Kevin always had these urges to kiss the sadness right out of him, but a sad Connor wasn't often a Connor who liked to be kissed.

So Kevin had a lot riding on tonight. And tonight had to be perfect, which was why he was currently slaving away over the rosemary chicken. Because perfection, if it was for Connor, was just normal means. The order of the day. Expected. Something Kevin would do in an instant. Kevin didn't believe in anything more than he believed in Connor.

One thing he did believe in right now was punctuality. And just as Kevin glanced at the clock for the third time in as many minutes, he heard a key scramble at the lock. The door was flung open and Connor, out of breath, took only a second to slam the door before running into the kitchen, his pink suitcase trailing behind.

He stood silent for a moment in the doorway, grinning.

"Welcome home!" Nabulungi flung her arms around Connor, as she, sitting on the bench by the kitchen table, was closest to the door. "We missed you!"

Connor laughed. "I missed you, too, Nabulungi! And I missed you, Arnold. How have you guys been?"

"Excuse me?" Kevin turned around from the onions to smirk at Connor.

"And I missed Kevin's cooking."

"Oh, well, thanks a bunch then."

Connor laughed. "I'm kidding, love. I missed you too. So much."

Kevin smiled and hummed lightly. "Glad to hear it. Is there a reason you weren't here at 5:15 like you promised me?"

Connor shrugged, moving out of Nabulungi's arms and towards Kevin. "The plane was late. Couldn't get a cab. You weren't worried, were you? It's not even 5:30 now."

Kevin looked up from the pan. "Nope, not worried, just missing you."

And he reached for Connor to pull him into his arms in the middle of little yellow kitchen.

"I'm always worried about you," he whispered in his ear. "How are you feeling about tonight?"

Connor shrugged. Kevin nodded- he hadn't expected anything else.

Instead, he chose to grab Connor's hand and lead him a few paces over to the stove. "Taste this," he said, offering up a few roasted pine nuts.

"Hey!" Arnold shouted- "I'm hungry too!"

Kevin glared at him over Connor's shoulder.

"Delicious, Kev."

"Good. I think- I think I'll serve them on the salad? Do your parents like nuts? Are they allergic? Should I have them on the side?"

"Uhh... on the salad is fine. Stop worrying, it's all going to be just fine." But Connor's eyes betrayed a different set of feelings- a shaky ferver that all of them were currently experiencing.

Connor leaned in to kiss Kevin, who was half way turned back to the stove. "I have to change. I'll be right back."

"How was the conference?"

Connor sighed. "Dreadful. I- oh, it was boring and conservative and I couldn't even get away with wearing a colorful tie. You have no idea how awful these people are. And I had to put up with them for a week, too. All they want to do is listen to themselves, and they have nothing new to say, nothing at all. I about died several times over. It was awful."

Nabulungi made a face. "That does sound awful, Connor. You were dealing with people who like to hear to themselves talk? Why, you should not have gone away at all. Kevin is right here."

Kevin brandished the spatula at her. Nabulungi raised her hands in a sign of surrender, and grinned to let him know she was teasing.

Arnold laughed, a little too loudly.

Connor smirked and said, "Oh, gosh, I know! But these people were worse than Kevin. I mean, at least Kevin likes to talk about me."

"Hey! Watch it!"

Connor laughed, and moved in to kiss the subject of his teasing. It was a sweet kiss, and perhaps lasted a bit too long, as Kevin's hands had time to settle around Connor's waist and Nabulungi had time to cough loudly before Kevin pulled away.

"Get changed, you. And then come back."

Connor saluted his boyfriend playfully. "Will do!"

And he was out of the room in an instant.

Nabulungi got up and moved around the table to stand behind Arnold, who was perched on a stool.

"Kevin, what is it that you are making?"

"This? Oh, it's carmelized onions. For the salad. Ever had one before?"

"No, I have not."

Kevin grinned, though that might have been leftover from the kiss. "Here, you should try one!"

A couple minutes later, Connor McKinley returned from the great upstairs and had placed himself on the counter nearest to the stove. The onions, now out of the pan, were cooling and the chicken was already in the oven, so Kevin found he could turn his attention to his companions for the first time that evening.

Certainly, his companions were paying plenty of attention to each other. Nabulungi was running her fingers through Arnold's curls, massaging his scalp as she hummed softly. Connor smiled blissfully at the two of them. Home felt good.

And so did Kevin. Connor's legs were wrapped around Kevin's waist and his arms were draped over Kevin's shoulders as Kevin leaned back into his chest. It was almost easy to forget that his parents-he wasn't even sure he knew what they looked like anymore- would be here in less than an hour and all of the things he'd fretted about and worried over and woken up in the middle of the night thinking about were about to come true.

Connor didn't really want to think about it. He didn't want to think about how his parents would react to Arnold's lack of an indoor voice, or Kevin finding his vice in hair gel, or Nabulungi's thick accent. He certainly didn't want to think about how their life-long opposition to interracial couples, or their complete intolerance of anything homosexual.

So he didn't. Not right then. Because he had been on a business trip, and he hadn't seen his boyfriend or his best friends in a week. So he settled instead for rubbing Kevin's shoulders, and laughing lightly at whatever bad pun Arnold was currently making about the baseball playoffs.

Kevin twisted around in Connor's hold. "You just got home from a week long business trip and your parents are coming over. Are you sure you don't want me to be the one giving you the massage?"

Connor smiled. "Don't worry about it, love. I'm just fine. And besides, you made dinner."

"I always make dinner."

"That's true, isn't it? Delicious."

"Me, or the food?"

Connor threw back his head and laughed. He removed his hands from Kevin's shoulders and started running his fingers through his hair instead.

"Oh, Connor, no, don't stop. That felt good."

Nabulungi, bent over Arnold's face, rolled her eyes. Okay, so she would tolerate their horrendous mushiness. But only because it had been a week since they had seen each other and not at all because she was an insufferable romantic at heart and they were kind of cute and okay, really cute and she loved both boys more than just about anything and- yep. Nope.

Nabulungi smirked up at the overly affectionate boys a few paces away. "Look, here, Arnold! We can be Kevin and Connor too! See, let me try. Mm, Arnold I love you so much. Mm, Arnold, let me give you a massage. Mm, Arnold, your hair is so soft today. Mm, Arnold, let's go up to my room right now because if we are going to be this in love it would probably nice not to inflict it on our friends, perhaps? Mm, Arnold, let me sit on your lap-"

Arnold looked up into Nabulungi's eyes with possibly the biggest smile on his face. He wasn't sure if he should be falling all over his girlfriend's feet and dragging her up to their room, or settling for laughing at the outraged (but slightly amused) looks on Kevin and Connor's faces. Since Nabulungi seemed to be joking- why, God, why- he could assume that he should instead stick his tongue out at Kevin. So, he did. He stuck out his tongue at Kevin and he leaned up to kiss Nabulungi. Her hair tickled his face.

Kevin's mouth was still open in shock and betrayal. Connor was giggling madly-he always ended up laughing when he should be defending himself- but he managed to pull himself under control.

"Oh, yeah? Well, fine, Kevin and I can be you two just as easily! Let me just- make this terrible joke. And now, Kevin, you need to laugh at it and pretend I'm actually funny- yeah, like that. Good. And now, I'll pretend I can dance, here move out a second-" Connor slid down from the counter and grabbed onto Kevin's ribs- "and now I'll try not to break your legs but if I do, you have to just smile and shake your head nicely- uh, huh. And, ooh, look how curly my hair is. Look how I can't even tie a tie correctly. Ooh, Kevin, help me tie my tie-"

"Hey!" shouted Arnold. "Is that s'posed to be me?"

Connor laughed, and released Kevin from his awkward grip. They were all laughing, then, and Connor managed to get out, "I'm sorry, Nabulungi. I know, we must be annoying. But if you keep in mind the circumstances-"

Nabulungi grinned and pulled back so she was standing upright. "No worries. I know you two have not seen each other, and we are all happy to have you home, Connor."

Connor grinned at her. "Well, I'm certainly glad to be here. You have no idea. What time is it that my parents are coming again?"

Kevin glanced at the clock- he was making a habit of it, and it was terrible, really. "At 6. Debrief us. Is there anything we should know? Something that we absolutely should or shouldn't say?"

Connor shrugged. "They're going to hate us no matter what we do. I mean, we eat organic and we vote for democrats, honestly, you might as well give up now." He paused for a moment, then added, "Oh, and Kevin-"

"Yeah?"

"I never told them we were dating."

"You never... what?"

"I- they- I, uh, never got past the "I'm gay" part of the coming out speech. I was going to tell them right then, I really was. But, after that part, they didn't want to hear the rest. They hung up on me, actually. So, um- yeah, I guess- they kind of- were finished with me out right there and, um... Maybe you want to- I- I'm sorry? We can tell them, if you want."

Kevin, who was currently leaning up against the counter, his arms around Connor's waist, kissed Connor on the top of his head.

"Don't want to make this any harder for you." And bending down so his lips were next to Connor's ear, he added, "You're asking a lot of me, Connor. You just got home and I haven't seen you for a week and you're asking me to keep my hands off you all night. I don't know about this."

"Mmm," sighed Connor. He allowed himself to think for a moment what would happen if tonight were an ordinary night- if it was just him and Kevin and Naubulungi and Arnold sitting around the table, laughing and complaining, as usual, about dead-end jobs and the like. And then leaving the dishes for Arnold to do while Kevin flipped through channels on the TV at a lightening rate before settling on some America's Next Top Model marathon while Nabulungi laughed at his ridiculously stereotypical television-watching habits and Connor grumbled about Tyra Banks's over-sized ego.

And then the four of them would end up curled on the couch together, legs in an indistinguishable mess and the blanket seeming to have some magnetic attraction towards Arnold and the popcorn sprinkled with chocolate covered espresso beans (seriously, what hipsters) devoured in less time than it takes for Tyra to reveal who's got to pack their bags and leave immediately.

And Kevin would be kissing Connor all over his face, and Nabulungi would be nice enough to pretend not to notice, but when Arnold would start doing the same to her, she might giggle a lot, and that would be distracting, and before he knew it, Connor would be upstairs in his and Kevin's bedroom and-

Yes, that would be a nice way to end a business trip.

Unfortunately, that night was not tonight. Tonight was everyone-on-their-best-behavior night. Tonight was Nabulungi frantically straightening the table cloth night and Kevin snapping at Arnold over the chicken night and Arnold cowering in a corner night because as the clock drew closer to six o'clock, Kevin and Nabulungi became more and more of a mess and Connor felt more and more guilty for inflicting this kind of hand-wringing and worry and stress on the household.

"What do they like to drink, Connor?" Kevin was frantically searching through the cupboard for matching glasses.

Connor held back a sigh. He appreciated what they were doing, he really did- but couldn't they see their worry was just making it harder on him?

No, they couldn't. Because this was hard on them, too. Because Connor's friends cared just as much as Connor did, and just as much as Connor's parents didn't.

And sure enough, there was the doorbell.

"I'll get it." Connor put on a brave smile. Kevin squeezed his hand.

Connor added as an afterthought, "And you guys should calm down. It'll be fine."

He privately didn't believe that in the slightest, and he was already sorry for what his friends would be going through, thanks to him. But who knew- maybe it would end up just fine.

And before he knew it, Connor had reached the threshold and opened the door.

The people behind the smudged glass looked vaguely familiar, but Connor wasn't even sure they were real. His mother, her hair perfectly coiffed, stood in a salmon pink skirt and white blouse that worked as well as it could with her pale skin. And his father, intimidatingly tall, looked even more stony than Connor remembered.

He gulped.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad."

"Connor." His dad nodded, and Connor resisted moving in for a hug. But on his other side, his mother appeared to be getting teary. Her eyes were all red and weepy and she clutched at Connor with bony arms and offered him a weak hug.

Connor wasn't sure which response made him feel worse.

Awkwardly, with one arm, he returned his mother's hug and smiled weakly against her straw hair.

"It's nice to see you, Mom."

"Oh, Connor, baby, I haven't seen you since you left for Rwanda-"

"Uganada, Mom."

"Uganda, and it's been so long, we've only had that one phone call, baby, and I just know you've changed your mind about what you said- but let's not talk about that now. Connor, I've missed you."

"Yeah, I've missed you too, Mom. Dad. Would you like something to drink?"

Connor's last words were muffled again by his mother's needy hug. He stood, awkwardly, patting her on the back. He wasn't sure if this had been what he expected, or if it was better, or worse.

Probably better. They were here, weren't they?

"Connor, honey, I haven't seen you in three years and you want to talk about drinks-?"

Unknown to Connor, Nabulungi had crept into the hall.

"Connor?" she called.

Connor shifted, relaxing as he saw her supportive face.

"Mom? Dad? This is Nabulungi. She's a friend."

"Oh, hello!" Mrs. McKinley practically cooed. "You must be Connor's nice African friend!"

Connor turned red.

Nabulungi, unfazed, smiled warmly. "It is a pleasure to meet you," she said, offering her hand.

Mr. McKinley took it, but Connor could tell he was only trying to intimidate her. He shuddered.

Kevin came out of the kitchen next, wiping his hands hurriedly on his pants. Behind him, Arnold poked his head out of the doorway and smiled toothily.

"Mom, Dad, these are my friends. Nabulungi, of course, and Kevin, and that's Arnold."

"Well, isn't it lovely to meet you kids?" said Connor's mom, with an unnaturally wide smile.

"You, too, Mrs. McKinley," echoed Kevin. He was trying, Connor could tell. Kevin's tone was all bubble and bounce. Bless his heart. Did he think this was actually going to go well?

Arnold popped out of the kitchen as well, offering an enthusiastic greeting and a complete disregard for Mr. McKinley's personal space.

Connor, who clearly hadn't thought much ahead, was at a loss for what to do next. Hastily, he led the small party to the dinner table, which looked immaculate.

Luckily for Connor, his team of three, who hadn't had to spend all morning at on business calls and then all afternoon on a plane, were prepared. Nabulungi poured the wine, and Kevin ducked into the kitchen to bring out the appetizers.

"Well, aren't you sweet? Thank you so much, Kevin," said Mrs. McKinley, helping herself to cheese and crackers. Connor tried not to wince. He seated himself between Kevin and Arnold, praying under his breath.

"So," began Mrs. McKinley brightly, the smile still stretched across her face, "Connor, honey, why don't you and your friends tell us about Uganda? I'm just dying to know what it's like over there in Africa, and you've told us next to nothing!"

"Um," said Connor.

"Yes?" Mrs. McKinley simpered. Connor balled his hands under the table.

"We had a nice time."

"And?"

"And, well. We, uh, well, we baptized a lot of people, I guess."

"Connor, that's wonderful!"

"And we did some nice soul-searching."

Kevin snickered.

"Hey!" Arnold cut in. "I had GREAT time in Uganda! Nabulungi's friends taught me how to play soccer! And we formed a league and everything, and I learned how to speak another language. I mean- another language. Which is kinda cool, if you think about it, cause I failed French in high school."

Connor smiled weakly. "Yeah, Uganda was pretty cool. I learned a lot. About... life, and stuff."

Kevin nodded sagely. "And how about you, Mrs. McKinley? How did you function all that time without your all-star son?" His eyes were twinkling.

"Oh, we managed, we managed alright. Poor Connor, you know, sometimes it's easier to not have your children in the house. Don't get me wrong Connor. We love you, baby, but your high school years weren't just hard on you. Your father and I didn't have an easy time either, you know."

Connor blushed red and stared down at the table. Next to him, he felt Kevin flinch and instinctively reach for his hand before he realized- not here. Not now.

"Oh, and Kevin," Mrs. McKinley continued, "We met your parents while you were all tucked away in Africa! They were lovely people, weren't they, dear? Simply charming. They must have raised you right, Kevin."

Mr. McKinley nodded silently next to her in agreement.

"Oh, well, thank you very much, ma'am. I'm glad you thought so."

Mrs. McKinley tittered. "Oh, don't ma'am me. I'm not that old yet! Of course, they were very nice people. We'll have to get together with them again sometime. I'm sure you've seen them plenty since you got home, hmm? I'm sure you've been a much better son than our darling Connor here. I'm sure you've at least visited once or twice."

"Oh- um- I mean, is that really- I mean, well, you know- plane tickets are expensive," Kevin finished weakly. It took everything in him not to shout at the top of his lungs, How dare you? Connor doesn't visit you because you're self-absorbed and utterly uninterested, not because he's a terrible son. With all due respect, Mr. and Mrs. McKinley- go jump in a lake. But he didn't say that, because that might make Connor upset.

Mrs. McKinley nodded. "Of course. Well, I'm sure you're trying, dear."

"How about you go bring out the chicken?" Connor interrupted. "Sorry, Kevin. I mean- I'll get it."

"That's my boy." Mrs. McKinley seemed strangely proud.

Kevin shook his head and smiled at Connor. "No worries. I'll be right back."

He was, a moment later, with the chicken platter, and Mrs. McKinley addressed him again. "Kevin, dear, how long have you and Nabulungi been together?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You and Naubulungi? I can tell by the way you two are looking at each other! Don't give me that- a mother always knows these things. Even if you're not my kid. When did you two- oh what is it you say these days? Not going steady, that's what we said way back when- but, you know, when did you two start going out?"

"Umm..."

"Almost a year now!" Connor cut in awkwardly.

"Is that so? Isn't that nice? Good for you two. Though, living together already- I can't quite imagine-"

Nabulungi, who had been glaring at Connor, suddenly smirked. "It's lovely, Mrs. McKinley," she added. "Kevin here is just- exactly what I pictured. He's my Prince Charming. I am very lucky."

"Well, I'm sure you are."

"Oh, Nabulungi, that is so sweet. I love you too, sweetheart! Yeah, we've been together a year now- a magical year." Kevin leaned down to practically rub noses with Nabulungi. She grinned up at him adoringly.

Connor wasn't sure if he should burst out laughing or vomit.

Arnold seemed to be clenching the table cloth a little too tightly.

"See how happy he is, Connor? See, I told you- your father knows a nice girl at work, you could introduce him, couldn't you, dear?"

"Of course, hon."

"No, thanks, Mom, Dad. Really not interested. But it's nice to see Kevin so happy, isn't it?" Connor added as an afterthought, unable to resist. Nabulungi seemed dangerously close to giggling.

Kevin kicked Connor under the table. "Oh, goodness, I'm sorry to keep you waiting for the food- here, let me serve." He reached for a plate.

And so the dinner passed much like that. Connor wasn't sure if he should be bursting into tears or laughter. More than once he fought the urge to bury his face in his hands, and the rest of his team seemed no better.

Yes, Mom, Nabulungi speaks perfect English. That's what they do in Uganda.

Yes, Mom, they've heard of Jesus in Uganda.

Yes, Mom, Arnold could use a hairbrush. No, Mom, you don't get to suggest it to him.

Yes, Mom, Kevin and Nabulungi make an adorable couple-oh, for goodness sake, Kevin, stop having so much fun with this. It's not funny.

Yes, Mom, we go to Church.

Yes, Mom, I'm happy.

Yes, Mom I'm studying- oh, what's that? You don't care. I'm sorry then. Never mind.

Kevin, Arnold, and Naublungi were trying- really hard. Arnold hadn't mentioned his brief stint as a prophet even once, and they all knew that was his favorite topic of conversation to fall back on. Kevin and Nabulungi were playing blissfully in love couple a little too well, but Connor could hardly fault them- they looked like they were enjoying themselves at any rate, which was more than he could say. And they were certainly unfailingly polite. Which was nice.

"Connor, sweetheart, you know we only want you to be happy! Now, really, I'm not going to push this but I just want to introduce you to this girl, I promise you'll like her-"

No, Mom, I'm still gay.

But something different was happening this time. Arnold had risen out of his seat. He was panting slightly.

"Excuse me, Mrs. McKinley? I really don't think you should, uh, you know, be doing that to Connor. Because, uh, see, Connor's like kind of an amazing guy and this is gonna sound awful- oh, no, I don't want to be mean but the thing is, all you want to do is ask him if he has a girlfriend and what Africa was like and the fact is, Connor doesn't want a girlfriend and you, uh, don't even listen to him when he tried to tell you about Africa, and you keep making him feel like a terrible son, which isn't even very nice and I think maybe, if you loved him like you keep saying you do, you'd listen to him a little more. And it's really, ya know, rude how you keep acting like he needs a girlfriend or how Nabulungi is stupid just cause she has an accent or how I'm stupid cause you don't like my hair or something. I mean- no offense and all because you might be a nice lady or something, but you kind of don't know what you're talking about, see, and I don't know how Connor turned out so great and all, seeing as he didn't have any role models. I mean- uh, I probably shouldn't have said that, but you know, I can't help it- oh, and also? Nabulungi is my girlfriend and I love her the most and she's my princess. But don't feel bad for Kevin, cause you know- well, maybe I shouldn't say that part, but yeah, darn it, you're not very nice to your son."

There was a very long pause.

"Well," said Mrs. McKinley, licking her lips. "Umm. Well. That's, uh, nice to know."

No one said anything.

"Dinner was delicious. Your father and I have to go now, Connor. It was nice to see you."

"Yeah," said Connor vaguely.

He got up, scraping the chair against the floor, and walked with his parents to the door. He had to hurry to keep up.

As his mother clutched at the door, trying to open it, Connor felt her grab his hand.

"Connor, honey," she whispered desperately. "We do listen. I'm trying, okay? I don't know how you want me to try any harder. Don't listen to that boy- we do love you Connor. You know, that, right?"

Connor smiled, though it was pained. "Yeah, Mom, I know you try."

"Well, that's all you can ask of me. Bye now, Connor."

"Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad."

He watched them hurry out the door into the car before turning around, sighing, and heading back into the dining room.

It was like someone had hit pause. Nabulungi, Arnold, and Kevin were exactly where he had left them. Arnold was hovering over the table, his chest heaving, his fingers clutching at a knife. It was a slightly worrisome picture.

"Hey," said Connor. His voice was very small.

"Oh, Connor, I am so sorry- I am such an idiot- I had no idea- Connor, what do you want me to do? I- uh, I- I don't even know how I messed up so bad- I've never done that before- Connor, Connor, I am- a horrible person and you should just hit me or something, I don't know what happened-"

"Arnold?"

"I feel awful and I- yeah?"

"Don't worry about it."

"What?"

"Seriously. I- don't be sorry. Forget it. I'm sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry. I invited them here, and made you all sit through that, and that was awful of me, and I can't believe I ever thought that was a good idea- you guys, I am sorry."

Arnold looked dumbfounded. "But I- chased them out. Unless you don't want to blame that on me of course cause that's fine I mean maybe it wasn't actually my fault but still-"

Connor shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I should have realized. It's my fault."

Nabulungi spoke up. "It is not your fault, Connor. It's never your fault for wanting you parents to-"

"Thanks, Nabulungi, but I don't need it. I get it. I was being dumb, and I thought maybe this could work- I know better now. This is one mother-son relationship that wasn't destined to be. But don't look at me like that! Don't you know what weight this has just lifted off my shoulders? I don't even have to pretend like I care about being a good son now!"

"Connor," said Kevin softly. "You are a good son."

Connor shrugged. "Maybe I'm not. But I am a good friend, and a good boyfriend, and I'd much rather be all that to you guys than a good son to my parents. I mean, imagine if I had listened to them-"

"I know," said Kevin, grinning. "You'd be running the family business and complaining about how democrats tax you too much and going to family reunions and letting relatives pinch your cheeks and you'd be babysitting some nightmare toddlers and getting engaged to some nice Mormon girl and-"

"Okay, okay. I get it. Thank you, Kevin. But I really am sorry for putting you all through that, I don't know what I was thinking-"

No one answered him. There was nothing to say, anyway.

"Well," said Connor, "I might as well go unpa-"

He was interrupted by a loud thunk- Kevin's head had hit the table.

"Kevin? You okay?"

"fmdsfjdhsfmm"

"You're going to have to speak up. I can't hear you with your mouth in the food."

"I just remembered.

"Remembered what?"

"I made tiramisu."

"Sorry?"

"I made tiramisu! Your parents didn't stay for my tiramisu!"

"Well, they hardly stayed for their second glass of wine."

"I worked so hard-"

"Kevin? Are you being serious right now?"

"They didn't try my tiramisu!"

"Arnold just runs my parents and their homophobic, racist remarks out of the house with a broom and all you can think about is dessert?"

Kevin looked up from the table balefully.

"Oh. You are serious."

"It was gonna be- if the dinner wasn't going well- it was gonna be my secret weapon. To convince them we can do stuff right and-"

Connor fought back an overwhelming urge to hug him.

"What about us, Kevin," Nabulungi teased. "Are we not good enough for your tiramisu? Come on, bring it out, I want to try it."

Kevin sighed.

"Seriously, Kevin, she's right. It'll be better if it's just the four of us."

"I guess that's kind of true. I worked really hard on that."

"Come on, then. Don't keep up waiting. We want to try it too!"

Kevin got up to go into the kitchen, Connor trailing behind.

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"What on Earth possessed you to tell your parents Nabulungi and I were dating?"

"Umm?"

"Yeah?"

"It seemed... easier. For you. You certainly seemed to enjoy it, anyway."

Kevin laughed. "Don't look at me like that. You know I love you."

A smiled played on Connor's lips. "Yeah. I do."

"And?"

"And I love you too. And I'm sorry about tonight-"

"Stop saying that. We understand."

"Good." Kevin reached out and grabbed Connor at the waist, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer.

"I'm kind of tired."

"I'll bet you are."

"Can we watch a movie, or something?"

"I think that can be arranged."

"Good."

Kevin kissed Connor, full on the lips. "Mm, I missed this."

"Oh, you did, did you?" Connor teased, attempting to squirm out of Kevin's grip.

"I did." Kevin held on tighter, and Connor gave up.

Nabulungi poked her head in the kitchen doorway. "You guys? America's Next Top Model is on."