Play With Me

I. Static

"Five minutes until it's time, Mister Gaiden!"

The first thing that came to his mind was that it was bright. Way too bright. He was pretty sure that Doug had decided to go all out with the lights again. As much as he liked the tall, rather beefy man, there were times when he wanted to take that helmeted head of his and ram it up against a convenient tree.

Luckily for him, there were none around.

He shielded his eyes. "Hey Doug, as much as I like being in the spotlight, mind turning it down? I think I'll go blind!"

The technician chuckled. "Link, we've been through this already. The reason I put so much light on you is…"

"So the girls can get a good look at my 'chiseled features'," Link sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I get that. But is the fan really necessary?"

"Of course, Sir Gaiden! Girls just love it when your hair blows in the wind like that! Makes you look like one of them Californian surfers!"

"I do believe he's lacking quite a bit when it comes to the 'Californian surfer' look, Doug," a voice tinkled from behind him. "Specifically the tan… and the bachelorhood."

Doug jumped. Impulsively, Link stuck one of his hands in his golden locks and started mussing them up, attempting to make them as messy as possible. His boss never approved of such behavior, but who was he to deny that keeping his hair gelled and perfectly wasn't putting a strain on his manliness?

"Mrs. Gaiden!" Doug grinned, taking the young woman's hand and pressing his lips to it. "Lovely as ever!"

She awarded him with one of her winning smiles. "Douglas J. Falcon, you silver-tongued flatterer! Ah, if only my husband can work up the nerve to charm like you can." she now turned to her fellow news anchor. "And Link, stop doing that to your hair. I'm afraid it gives you more of the 'I just escaped from prison' look."

A muscle twitched in Link's jaw. "Well, excuuuuse me, prin-"

WHAM!

For a moment, the news anchor was stunned. A part of him vaguely wondered why his cheek stung so much. Before he could so much as ask, however, Zelda's cool fingers were already stroking his cheek. He let out a small moan and closed his eyes. It was extremely rare for him these days to be able to enjoy such close intimacy with the woman he loved.

Doug wolf-whistled. Link made a mental note to kill him later. But just as he was about to sink into pure bliss again, a new voice joined the group.

"Look. If you two really want to start making out on national television, I'll just turn the camera on you right now," Ike drawled. The cameraman had just taken the lens cap off his machine and was busy reprogramming the zoom of the camera. "But seriously, we're on live in like two minutes and the last thing America wants to see is their news anchors sharing an 'intimate moment' on camera."

"Ten minutes until we're live, Mister Gaiden!" Marth shouted from next to Ike. Unlike Ike, who was large and muscular, Marth was thin and lithe. That wasn't to say, however, that he didn't pack a pair of lungs.

"Ten min- wait a minute! You said ten minutes ten minutes ago!" Link accused. "You're not trying to pull one on us again, are you?"

If it was at all possible for a grown man to assume a look of innocence, Marth was doing so at that moment. "Messing with you? Ten minutes to go ten minutes ago? Why would I do that to you of all people, Mister Gaiden?"

"… You're hiding something," Link said, straight-faced. "Just come out and say it. What is it this time? Am I going to get glued to my chair again? Is there caffeine in my decaf? Did you tepee my office?"

"No, no, and no," Marth said calmly. "And by the way, the office thing was all Ike."

"All me? Oh yeah, sure. Blame the big guy for the toilet paper in the office!"

"To be fair, you were the only one that could reach it," Doug pointed out. "And—"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Marth said. "We're live in ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!"

Both Link and his wife scrambled into their respective chairs, shooting heavy glares at Marth as they passed. Again, the blue-haired man assumed a look of pure innocence. Unfortunately, it was about as transparent as glass. There was a spark somewhere deep within his cobalt eyes, causing Link's eye to twitch slightly in irritation. It didn't help that Falcon hadn't yet dimmed the lights.

For a moment, his chest tightened, almost to the point where he couldn't draw breath at all. He felt his pulse race as adrenaline roared through his veins, just like it had on his first day on the job. For a moment, he desperately considered running away. He had about five seconds left, right? That should be plenty of time to run out the door and maybe grab a Starbucks. Caffeine would calm him down, right? Caffeine and a little bit of cake, maybe?

Soon enough, the familiar news station jingle began. Ike activated his camera and pointed it straight at the news anchors. Doug jumped on another one and kept it on standby, ready to zoom into Link's face at just the right moment. Their third cameraman, Roy, aimed his at Zelda's face and grinned. In his hyperactive state, Link could've sworn that the camera was aimed a little too low to catch her face. Then, he watched as Zelda's eyes flickered towards Marth, who gave her a thumbs up.

"Hello and welcome to SBNC," she said, showing off her dazzling smile. "I'm Zelda Harkinan."

In an instant, his pulse slowed. His hands, which had been clenched the whole time, relaxed. He was in his prime now. This was where he belonged. "And I'm Link Gaiden, coming to you live from the SBNC studios in beautiful Hollywood, California."

"This just in," Zelda said, quickly reading the words coming up on the teleprompter in front of her. "We've had yet another supposed attack by our 'Rodeo Ghost'." she shuffled her papers around. "This time, the victim was Mister Fox McCloud, a retired air force pilot."

"Our reporter, Pit, is on the scene right now. Let's see what he has dug up to bring light on this strange situation," Link added. "Take it away, Pit."

Static.

"… Pit…?"

More static.

"Pit, this isn't funny. You're on live right now!"

More static.

"Doug, try getting into the feed on Pit's camera," Marth barked quietly. "Roy, try everything you can to contact him. Ike… just keep the camera on."

Zelda cleared her throat, her smile lacking luster quite considerably. "I'm sorry, we seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties. We'll be right back after this short commercial break."

As soon as the red light atop Ike's camera blinked off, Link was on his feet and charging towards the computer. He stopped for a moment, blinking at the assorted blinking lights and buttons that he could never make heads or tails of. Doug, undeterred by such technology, was typing furiously on the keyboard.

"Damn, what'd that guy do to his camera? I'm having trouble just getting past the security measures on that thing!" Doug grumbled.

"Security measures? That camera's a cheap piece of crap and everything it has ends up getting uploaded anyways," Ike groaned. "God, if Pit is really this paranoid—"

"His phone's on," Roy called from another computer, "But I can't get a hold of him." he pressed his hand to his headset and kept speaking into the microphone. Though he was unaware of it, his voice rose in pitch with every mention of his friend's name. "Pit? Pit, pick up! Pit, please pick up! Pit? PIT?"

"Have ya tried texting him yet?" Ike asked.

"Too unprofessional, Ike," Zelda said. "Besides—"

"'Unprofessional'? Listen, lady, the guy's missing. At the very least just send him a text saying something along the lines of 'where r u?' he may or may not get it."

"Hang on, I'm getting something," Douglas said. "I had to hack a lot just to get past the first layer of security on the damn thing, but I got through… but I might have erased a few things on it…"

"Well? What is it?" Link asked, practically shoving Doug out of the way. "Where is Pit?" he hit the "Enter" button on the keyboard.

The screen flared to life.