A/N

Although Troopers is primarily a parody of Star Wars, I think it's fair to say there's elements of Star Trek in regards to the dread trooper helments, namely the eye pieces that seem to serve no purpose. And since they're drones anyway to the 'empire,' perhaps those similarities extend even further...

Drones

"We are the borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to serve us. Resistance is-..."

"Come on Larry, how many times are your going to listen to that?"

Rich wasn't really expecting an answer from his fellow dread trooper. Heck, he wasn't really expecting answers from anyone on the Dread Cruiser nowadays, so stunned they were by the beings that had broadcast the message in the first place. But even so...

"We are the borg. Lower your shields..."

"Alright, that's enough!"

Rich switched off the recorder, uncaring as to whatever minute consequences might come his way. Phony mind tricks, waxing lyrical about his infatuation with the princess, that horrible rock song he'd picked up from the Chi Quadrant...he could take it. Could take it all. Could even take it like Chase, who'd recently been killed...again.

"Just...can't them out of my head, man..." Larry said slowly. "I mean, those drones...those borg...came out of nowhere."

"And just as well too, eh? Might have ended up like Chase...before he ended up like himself...again."

It was indeed fortunate timing in a sense. Larry had escaped punishment for letting Commander Quazon escape by letting Chase take the fall, but confronted by Dread Lord Sinister over some other mishap, Rich didn't think he'd be so lucky. The arrival of a giant cube had solved that issue though...if "solved" meant attacking the Dread Cruiser, and the ship's super laser missing it completely. As nice as it was to see the ship's commander vaporize something other than dread troopers, and for that something else to distract him from his intended punishment, letting a bunch of drones invade the cruiser was no pleasant experience.

"Chase is a case in point though," Larry continued. "I mean...he's killed, put back together, then repeats the cycle. Kind of like how we're always in the cell block. Kind of like we do nothing but follow orders."

"Yeah...well, that's our job."

"So how are we different from those borg then? Heck, they even look like us. Got the whole eyepiece and everything."

Rich opened his mouth...then closed it. His helmet preventing the movement from being seen aside, he wasn't sure how to respond. In a way, dread troopers did resemble the borg, what with their eye...things...attached to their helmets (what are they even for, anyway?). And like the borg that attacked, they had nothing to do but serve the Interstellar Legion, forcing people to submit to its rule. And with Dreadlord Sinister being that universal force keeping them in line...

Well, no more. From now on, I'm going to stand up for myself. From now on, I'll change things for the better for dread troopers. From now on, I'm going to ensure we're less like the borg and-...

"Dread trooper. Coffee from Hoolia's. Now."

"Yes sir."

Not daring to meet the gaze of his commander, Rich began the three day journey to Hoolia's and back.

Resistance was futile.