Disclaimer: Castle clearly isn't mine. If it were, Castle and Beckett would have kissed by now (a real kiss that is)... just sayin'. (see profile for a REAL disclaimer)

A/N: Written of LiveJournal's Mini NaNo WriMo Day 2 challenge!

It had been a long day.

Kate had almost lost him. Her partner had been taken hostage, held at gunpoint, and almost died in an explosion all in one afternoon and she'd been left sitting on the sidelines praying that the phone would ring so that she could negotiate his release. She'd never felt so helpless. She should have been in there with him, should have been able to keep him safe. She'd seen the look in Alexis' eyes, the one that said, 'This is all your fault,' 'He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for you,' and, 'He would be better off leaving you behind and never looking back,' and Kate could honestly say that she wasn't wrong. Castle would be better off without her, a fact that she'd known for quite some time now, but had only become overwhelmingly obvious the day that he tried to jump in front of a bullet for her and only missed by a fraction of a second. It was her fault, he shouldn't be following her around crime scenes and the precinct like he was one of them, a cop, and he would be better off forgetting about her, and Nikki Heat, leaving them behind like a well loved but outgrown childhood toy. It was far too dangerous- she was too dangerous. He deserved so much better than her.

She sighed, draining the last of the wine in her glass, curling up in the corner of the couch in Castle's loft and let herself get lost in the flames of the nearby fireplace. They flickered gently, crackling and popping, oranges and yellows licking along the fake log. Kate knew that being there, content simply existing in his house, his world, was wrong, but after the day that they'd had she couldn't have stopped herself from accepting his invitation if she'd tried. They both needed this, the reassurance that he wasn't going to disappear, that if they closed their eyes and dared to sleep he'd still be there in the morning when they woke. It was greedy of her, she knew that, especially after the talk they'd had on the swings not too long ago about her protective wall and the need for it to come down before they could start something together. She wasn't ready, not yet, but she was close enough to admit that she would be one day soon. For now, today, that was enough.

Leaning forward, Kate set her empty glass down on the coffee table and glanced over toward the kitchen. She'd just been shooed out a few minutes before, leaving Martha to tease her son in peace as they methodically packed up the leftovers from dinner. She couldn't hear the conversation, not quite, it was overpowered by the loud, sad music blaring upstairs in Alexis' room. Nobody bothered going up there to ask her to turn it down, not after she'd almost burst into tears toward the end of dinner and politely said goodnight before rushing up the stairs. They'd all been in her shoes before, losing your first real boyfriend or girlfriend and Kate could most definitely relate. There was nothing glamorous about being a teenage girl, especially when love was involved.

"Hey, you okay?"

Kate jumped slightly, startled by his sudden appearance, sheepishly making room for him as he sat down next to her just a little closer than usual, "Yeah, I guess I'm alright. Just thinking about today."

"Ah," he nodded, his thigh brushing against the top of her bare foot, "I told everyone that you'd save us. I'm glad I was right."

"Yeah, well, someone had to," she joked, her smile not quite reaching her eyes, "I don't know how you get yourself into these situations, Castle. You have the worst luck."

"Or, the best luck. For a man of my particular vocation, that is," he grinned.

Kate rolled her eyes and fidgeted with a fraying string dangling from the hem of her cream colored shirt. She longed to uncurl her legs and lean into his shoulder, to take a deep breath and forget about the bank and the explosion and especially the awkward angst that had been crackling between them since she willingly took his arm in the precinct and he'd led them out to a cab, seemingly waiting there at the curb to whisk them off to his loft for a family dinner. Instead, she settled for meeting his gaze, not caring about the healthy blush that she felt burning across her cheeks as she took a deep breath and reached over, laying her hand on top of his.

His eyes widened, head tilting to the side like he'd found something worth studying, before he cautiously turned his palm over and linked their fingers together. Kate's pulse doubled, her heart practically beating out of her chest, but she didn't stop him. Hell, she didn't want to stop him. She'd spent so much time and energy ignoring this thing between them, trying to stop him from worming his way into her life, her home, and her soul, that finally allowing herself to be with him like this was almost a relief.

Looking up at him again, she dared to squeeze his hand, letting her thumb brush back and forth over his, hoping that he would get the message- one that said everything she couldn't say out loud, not yet, that she loved him and wanted him and needed him. He smiled, just a warm quirk of his lips. She knew that he'd understand, just like he always did.

"Are you sure you're alright, Kate?"

Her chest tightened and she looked back down again, finding their intertwined hands suddenly fascinating.

"If you had died, Castle..." she started, slightly mortified when her eyes began tearing up against her will, "I can't- I don't ever want to have to tell Alexis that you're not coming home. I can't do that to her."

"Hey," he soothed, and she felt his fingertips gently tilt her chin upward, "I'm fine. The bad guys are dead and a little boy and his mother are finally safe. You did good, you saved the day."

She let out a tiny chuckle and felt a traitorous tear slide down her cheek. Castle quickly cupped the side of her face and wiped it away, his touch lingering just long enough for her to give in to the urge to nuzzle his palm. She closed her eyes for only a few seconds, savoring the moment, but when she felt the cushion beneath her shift her lashes fluttered open and she was surprised to find his face hovering only a few inches away from her own.

Kate's breath caught in the back of her throat. His bright blue eyes bored into her own, dropping down to her mouth and then up again. She swallowed nervously, desperately wanting to cross that line with him, but she'd always been too terrified to make the first move. Until today. It was time.

Her free hand shook as she brought it up to his chest, resting it over his heart as she slowly bridged the gap between them, brushing her lips against his with the lightest touch. She felt, more than heard, a groan rumble through him and a dam of emotion broke somewhere deep inside of her. He tugged her closer and she was helpless to resist, her body warming as he teased her bottom lip between his and settled in to explore.

Their kiss was gentle and slow. It was four years of lust and love coming to fruition, combined with the comfort that they both needed. Kate fisted the crisp material of his dress shirt and flicked her tongue against his for the first time, deepening the contact only slightly, just enough to tease and sate them both. It was only a handful of seconds later that their kiss naturally tapered off and they broke apart, resting their foreheads comfortably together. Any more and it would have been too much.

Once again, without words, they'd managed to say so much. A kiss- one tiny, life changing kiss- and all was said.

"Will you stay?" he whispered.

She could hear the vulnerability in his voice almost as strongly as she felt her stomach flip in response. She was tempted to ask him if he meant forever or just tonight, but it wouldn't have changed her answer. She couldn't deny it- him any longer.

"Yes."

End.