Disclaimer: I'm doing a PhD on digital design for children in museums. You think I own this?

AN: See my not so clever play on words for the title? I am aware the car in the book is a Guardian, which is why this title is not so clever. This is what happens when you spend a week reading your way through 11 books and 30 journal articles. Academia is a complete killer of creativity.

The truck wouldn't start. It wasn't the first time that had happened, but usually after a few tries and a few tense minutes, Bella could get the thing running. But it wasn't even turning over, and she knew enough to get that that was a bad sign.

'Please,' she begged with one last attempt. Bella was well aware of what this would mean. It had barely been a week since she'd made her promise to Edward that when – if – the truck expired, he could buy her a new and more suitable vehicle. It was just not fair.

The truck made an eerie clanking noise and once more refused to start. Bella knocked her head harder than necessary against the steering wheel. She'd call Jacob, and maybe he could fix it without involving any of the Cullens.

Her shiny new cell phone, another gift from Edward that she hadn't wanted, suddenly rang. Sighing, Bella answered it.

'The dog won't be fixing it,' Alice told her succinctly.

Bella resisted the very real urge to swear out loud. 'Alice, please tell me you haven't already told him?'

'Bella,' Alice started and Bella could hear the smile on her lips. 'He's sitting right beside me.'

Bella knocked her head against the steering wheel again and resisted the 'ow' that followed. 'I suppose we're going car shopping then?' she asked weakly.

'No,' Edward's voice responded. 'I've already taken care of it. You can borrow mine for the next few days until yours arrives.'

There was a long pause on Bella's end. 'You've already taken care of it? Did Alice see this happening? Why didn't you tell me?' she complained.

'Alice didn't see it happen until just now. I've had the car on order for weeks,' Edward admitted.

It was surprisingly honest of him. 'Whatever it is, send it back and buy me a Toyota instead.'

'No,' he laughed. 'We made a deal. There was no specific car company involved.'

Bella checked herself an inch before her head hit the wheel again. She probably already had a bruise; there was no need to make it worse. 'I'm so going to regret this,' she mumbled. 'I don't want to borrow the Volvo.'

'Well, you could take Alice's car instead, but...'

'No!' Alice said loudly; loudly enough that Bella heard it through the phone. 'That's a really bad idea,' she explained.

'Yeah, Edward, a yellow sports car? It's not really me,' Bella teased. Alice had a point though; she was as likely to crash the thing as she was to drive it in a straight line.

'Then I'll just have to drive you myself,' Edward decided.

Bella considered that for a moment and decided it was the best option. It was that, or let Charlie drive her around in his car, and Bella preferred not to be stared at from the front seat of a police cruiser.

'Okay,' she agreed.

'Your new car will be here on Thursday.'

'Yippee,' Bella said, without any enthusiasm. If Edward had bought a sports car she was going to kill him.

'So, do you need a ride somewhere?' he asked.

'Um yes, to the grocery store. We're almost out of food.'

'I can remedy that,' Edward offered. 'I'm sure Esme can –'

But Bella wouldn't let him finish. 'You are not going to make Esme cook for Charlie and me. I'm quite able to do it myself, as long as I have food. So, will you drive me to the store?'

'Yes,' Edward relented. Bella had the idea there would also be a casserole or two delivered care of Mrs. Cullen anyways. 'I'll be there in fifteen minutes.'

'Thank you,' Bella told him sincerely and hung up.

After a few days of being driven around by either Edward or Alice, Bella decided she could live with it for the rest of the summer until the wedding, if it meant never having to see the car Edward had picked out for her. After much needling, she'd given up getting him to tell her anything other than the colour, which was black. Bella supposed that was pretty non-descript, but she knew enough to guess that even sleek sports cars came in black. After all, Carlisle drove a black Mercedes. She was a bit thankful it wasn't bright red or yellow, like Rose and Alice's cars.

Edward picked her up Thursday afternoon for the big unveil. Bella was annoyingly nervous about the whole thing and was well on her way to working herself into a state of anxiety when Edward arrived at her door.

'Will you please calm down?' he asked.

'This is your fault,' she glared. 'If you hadn't insisted on spending a stupid amount of money on a mode of transportation, I'd be fine with it.'

'No you wouldn't,' he smiled. He knew her too well. 'And besides, it's a rental.'

'What?' Bella froze half way into the Volvo's passenger seat.

'It's a rental. I'll return it after the wedding. You won't need it after that.'

Bella blinked at him a few times. 'Why won't I need it after that?'

'Because,' he said with a secret smile, 'I've already got your 'after' car picked out.'

'My...after...car?' Bella stuttered.

'For when you aren't so breakable,' he told her, as if that explained everything.

'You bought me two cars?' Bella spluttered, her face turning red.

'No, I rented one car and bought one. And the second one should be a sound investment, since I hardly think you're going to crash it. In fact, I'd be rather surprised if you drive it, but Emmett is looking forward to giving it a go.'

That explained a lot. 'And do I get to know what car that is?' Bella asked, finally finding a calmer voice.

'No,' Edward smiled. 'That's a surprise for after the honeymoon.'

At this word they both smiled a bit stupidly at each other.

'So don't worry about it now. Your new 'before' car is only on loan until August thirteenth.'

'Alright,' Bella sighed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. That sounded pretty reasonable, actually, considering it was Edward.

They pulled up the Cullens' driveway ten minutes later to find the whole family gathered outside. Bella started blushing again. She really hated an audience.

There was a rather large tarp draped object parked outside the house. It looked far too large to be a car, in fact. Maybe a limo. Bella cringed as she climbed out of the Volvo.

'Oh stop,' Alice told her. 'Just smile and be thankful. Edward does it because he loves you, even though he knows how much you hate gifts.'

'I don't hate gifts,' Bella defended. 'Just expensive wastes of money.'

'Which this is not; at least not to him,' Alice whispered to her, though everyone could probably hear. She led her over to the covered vehicle. 'Right, brother: want to do the honours?'

With a smile, Edward grasped one end of the cover and whisked it off in a second. Bella blinked. It was black alright. Black, sleek, shiny and huge. It looked pretty similar to Carlisle's car, except that Bella was positive it was larger. A lot larger.

'What did you...' she trailed off, lost for words. What could she possibly need a giant stretch sedan for?

'It's a Mercedes,' Edward told her patiently.

Bella glared at him. 'I guessed.'

He looked proud.

'And why do I need a Mercedes? One in the family isn't enough?'

Carlisle smiled at that. 'I'm afraid, Bella, that this particular Mercedes is a great deal nicer than mine.'

'Great,' Bella lied. 'And I repeat: what do I need a giant car for? Is there more of me that needs driving around?'

Edward's look softened and he came over to wrap her in his arms. 'No love. But I do want you to be safe. And this is a very safe car.'

She felt the need to protest at that. 'I have never been in a car accident, and certainly not in my truck. Why do I need any more protection?'

Alice cleared her throat. 'Just accept it Bella. It will make Edward feel better for the next few weeks, alright?'

She took a deep breath. 'Alright,' Bella admitted.

'Great!' Emmett called out. 'Can I take it for a test drive?' He was so eager he was almost bouncing on his feet.

'Uh, sure?' Bella glanced at Edward. He held out a key. Except it wasn't a key. It was more like a high tech code breaker or something. Bella took it gingerly and gave it a once over. 'Yeah, Emmett, have fun!' she said and threw it to him.

He caught it easily. 'Want to come?' he asked Jasper.

'God yes,' Jasper said and raced off to the passenger side. A split second later and Bella had to laugh when Carlisle followed.

'Boys and their toys,' Alice sing-songed.

'I want a go too!' Rosalie butted in.

Bella gave Alice a look. 'I retract my statement,' the pixie admitted. 'Let's get you a snack. They could be a while.'

She followed Alice and Esme back to the house as the others continued to ooh and aw over the new – and temporary – addition to the Cullen line of cars.

That night, lying in bed snuggled up to Edward's cold chest, Bella had a thought. 'Is it really safe to leave that out on the street? I mean, won't someone try to steal it?'

Edward snickered into her hair. 'I'd love to see them try,' was all he said. Bella decided it was better not to ask what he meant.