The explosion rang in her ears and shattered her heart. Kate cut of mid-sentence and froze, staring ahead, not looking at anything as everything in her mind came down to a complete stop. She could smell the smoke from the C-4 and felt the slight pulsing heat from the explosion.

Everything in her flickered to a single thought.

Castle.

~a few hours before~

It was a normal, boring day at the precinct in New York. Kate was starting to work laboriously on the paper work while Castle leaned back in his seat, lounging and drinking his coffee lazily. "Anyone dead today?"

"Nope. Nice and quiet."

"Why does it have to be quiet?"

"Well I'd rather have it be quiet. That means no one is dead."

"I suppose," Castle sighed silently and stood up. "Well, its been fun but I think I'm going to leave now." He spinned where he stood to walk away. It was lunch time and he was hungry.

"Wait. Castle wait! Where are you going?"

He turned to look at her. "I'm just going to go home now. I'll see you later Beckett."

"Castle! You can't just leave!" Kate stung with annoyance. She had wanted Castle to take her to lunch today. Her pocket was a little empty right now.

"Sure I can. I'll see you later Beckett!" He waved his arm in farewell as he started to walk out.

"Castle you get back here!" Beckett stood up to show that she was angry but a smile still held her face. "You better not be leaving because of the paper work!"

"Have fun Kate!"

"Castle!"

"Oh come on now Beckett," Castle looked over his shoulder at her as he walked. "It's not like I'll never see you again. You don't have to scream my name so desperately." He gave her a taunting smile. "Oh I see, you need me don't you?"

"Rick!"

But he was long gone.

"Rick you are in so much trouble!"

Her words filled empty air. Beckett let out a shaken breath and settled back down on to the chair. She sighed once more and shook her head.

It was going to be a very long and boring day. She was okay with that.

But she had wanted to spend it with him.

Beckett sighed as she picked up her cell phone hours later and met the caller with a sarcastic question. " What do you want Castle?"

"Tell me you need me," his voice came in low and seductive, sending a chill down her spine.

She cleared her throat, trying to ease her pounding heart. "Excuse me?"

"I'm in a bank with my mom and-"

Beckett let out a soft sigh as she allowed Castle to rant about being stuck at the bank. Well he should have stayed and helped with the paper work.

"Huh," came from the other end.

Beckett stopped. "What is it?"

"I think, that this bank is about to be robbed."

"Okay Castle how bored are you?"

There was a strong and terrifying yell. Screams came from the other line and all of Kate's cop instincts were hit on full alert.

And so the beginning of her day.

~about half an hour later~ (Castle's POV)

The guy had fallen down on his back, foam dripping from his mouth and all of the muscles in his body twitching as spasms ripped through his body. Castle sat over him and watched in horror, yelling at the bank robbers who were just staring around and waving their guns around. They didn't know what to do, clearly.

The one in charge came and called for Kate. Castle glared ahead at the man. Trapper John or whatever. He could only faintly hear Kate's voice as she talked but he didn't make out any words. Only the tone of it he heard.

And she sounded angry. Even more angry than she could get with him.

Castle looked up a few minutes later at the paramedic. He didn't take a second glance at her until he smelled the perfume drafting in and the soft dark brown hair that was tied up in a firm bun.

Kate. No. No no no what was she thinking? If they found out who she was then-

"Hey. How's he doing?" Her voice was quiet as she whispered and glanced at him, her brown hazel eyes nervous and frightened.

For him.

"Not good," he answered back, catching the double meaning in her words. He turned back to the patient. "His name's Sal Martino. He has epilepsy. I think the seizure was brought on by stress."

"Okay. Hey Sal. Hey buddy. How you doing? Sal listen to me I want you to know that there are people out there who care about you. So just keep breathing. And I promise you-" her hand reached out and took Castle's. Castle glanced over to her and he caught the double meaning as she said, "I'm going to get you out of here." She glanced at him and he met her eyes. Beautiful soft yet hard and determined hazel.

He licked his lips and nodded to her. They lifted the patient up on to the gurney and as she started to lead him out of the bank, she looked over to her partner from over her shoulder. He looked back at her, his eyes sad and regretful, but shining with the will to live. Her eyes glimmered in fear and concern. Would he be okay?

He set his lips in to a hard line and gave a very faint nod.

Yes. He'd be fine.

Beckett seemed to merely float out of the vehicle and land on the pavement below her. Smoke, dark and gray, billowed out of the bank, polluting the air. It choked her throat and threatened to bring tears to her eyes. Several teams of the police force were already getting ready to enter the building.

In a flash Beckett took out her gun and light, shining it in to the thick smoke and trailing after the other men entering the bank.

"Castle!" she screamed out, going in to the smoke. "Castle!" Images and pictures of his face flashed in her memory. Nearly all of them were of him smiling. He had so many different kinds of smiles. Amused, surprised, excited, eager.

And just happy. That private smile he gave her frequently when she would catch him looking over her with such a content and relaxed feeling in his eyes. A sense of peace would come over her when she felt his eyes on her and she'd look at him with a half smile, almost confused. "What?"

"Oh. Nothing." He almost sighed and would look away, that same content look plastered all over his face.

Tears stung her eyes and she screamed out again, her throat scratchy, "Castle!"

"Beckett!" His voice cried out.

Instantly she ran in the direction of his voice to find him with a group of other civilians sitting trapped in a locked up area. Bars lined it from floor to ceiling and Castle gave a half-smile upon seeing her, lifting one hand up that was tied to the other in a sort of wave.

"They're here!" she hollered, her voice even more scratched up than before.

The other captives rejoiced as the cops came in but Kate didn't hear them. Everything that was her was focused on him. She swung the door open and instantly went down to kneel in front of him. For a moment they met eyes and they just smiled at each other. Finally she grabbed his hands and lifted them up. "Ok here we go. Ready?" She looked up at him, and he nodded with bright eyes as she cut the wire with a snap.

She looked up to him again and reached a hand over to gently play with his collar. "How are you?" she asked. Castle looked up to her and gave a relieved smile, which melted in to a calm and longing one that sent shivers of excitement down Kate's spine. In that moment his heart jumped and he wanted to reach out and grab her neck, to pull her to him and press his lips to hers. He wanted for her to kiss him back and he wanted their words to whisper in to each other and echo in his ears.

"I love you."

But he didn't.

He would wait.

"He's not the only one here you know?"

In that instant Castle's smile dropped and he rolled his eyes over to his mom sitting next to him, who held up her tied wrists as well and gave a slight chuckle.

"Oh I'm so-" Kate glanced over at Castle, who she saw lean his head back, looking like he was the most pathetic and hopeless person in the world.

Thanks a lot Mother. Thank you so much. I will remember this.

"I'm so sorry Martha," Kate said, turning away from the grieved Castle and helping Martha free her hands as well.

Everyone left the bank and Castle ran to his daughter when his eyes found her. He rushed over and wrapped her in a huge hug with Gram coming up and joining the hug. Kate watched from a little ways away, a little confused that she felt a sharp sting of jealousy from the depths of her heart. She looked away for a moment. Right now she wanted more than anything to join them, wrapping her arms around Castle and brushing her face in to his soft hair. She was so relieved and overjoyed that he was all right, that everyone was all right. She had been surprised too at the furious anger and hatred at Trapper John after he had threatened to kill Castle more than once.

It hurt Kate as she looked at them when she realized something that changed that moment forever.

Months ago she had been lying on the grass, staining it with her blood. Castle crouched over her, holding her face and he had told her he loved her.

She loved him back.