He ran- ran until he collapsed of exhaustion. The uneasiness in his heart skyrocketed into his mouth as the darkness drew closer. He couldn't get up, couldn't move, helpless as his demon reached his trembling form. He was trapped in the fear of his past, and nothing could soothe the horror. As the darkness enclosed upon him, he was surprised at how calm he was. His past was no secret to the few who knew his name. Murderer, thief, traitor: all were names he had been called along with many others, all references to his terrible past. He had changed, but a monster had been created that would haunt him until his death. He guessed his time on earth was up, nobody would miss him. Chances were they would remember him long enough to say they were his greatest friends, and were horrified they couldn't stop a kid that was clearly depressed and determined to end his life. But he knew that glamour wouldn't last long. It would disappear just as suddenly as it had appeared. "Good riddance," they would say when his name came up years after, if it ever did. It would only happen, though if his past came up again, and it was happening. His dark self was fighting to surface, and it was winning. It was only a matter of days until it was inevitable. He was suffocating, feeling his life slip through his fingers... He had to escape! He clawed at the invisible hands closed over his windpipe, to no avail...

He jerked awake. It was finally over for the night. The recurring nightmares that had haunted his dreams for the past month we drawing to a close. He knew what would happen when the monster from the prophetic dreams finally succeeded. He glanced at the open window, then the never ending clock. 2:43. He drifted back to sleep for the few more hours of sleep he could manage before school started.

I abruptly sat up, light streaming through the open window. I groggily stare at the clock, slowly processing that my first real day of high school starts in fifteen minutes. I rush downstairs, grabbing a cereal bar to choke down on my way to school. I think nothing of the fact that my parents weren't there to wish me off or remind me to wake up until I got in the car. Then the realization hits me that my parents forgot me again, most likely to go visit Al's grave like they always do. The monster inside me clamors to escape, but I push it down. What's new. It has started to become a routine for me. Wake up, eat, and they aren't there. Sad, but altogether too true.

I rush inside the school just as the late bell rings. It is just my luck that I'm late my first day. I walk into the office to get my schedule and spend a good twenty minutes trying to get the secretary's attention. When I am almost yelling, she finally notices me. It's not my fault I'm quiet! Sophomore year would be so much easier if Alfred was here to be my "hero." I glance at the sheet of paper clutched tightly in my hand. Quickly skimming it, I groan. Mostly advanced classes, great. First period is Advanced Chemistry. Just when my life was starting to settle down, hell comes and snatches it away from me. What did I ever do to it!

I slip into the classroom where the teacher was droning on and on about lab rules. An albino girl looks at me. "Are you new?" I'm Gillian, Gilly for short, and these are my friends Antonio, or Tonio and Francis.

Francis? Well this class is about to become the class I dread the most. My idiotic cousin hasn't seen my since the day I ran away...

"My dear Matthieu, how nice to see you again! Come give your cousin a hug! I haven't seen you since the day you..." my French cousin begins.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I exclaim. "That was years ago! You didn't come to Al's... event either! Maman et Papa m'a oublié à nouveau ce matin pour aller visiter la tombe d'Alfred."

"Oh my poor little cousin," Francis sarcastically tells me. "Alfred would not have wanted you to be triste, non? You can't really blame them either, as you did run away three years and only came back a month ago. Alfred chased after you, and then you call saying he was dead. How do you think they would feel? Are you so selfish you can't see that!"

The darkness again tosses and turns inside me, desperate to escape and wreak havoc. "Shut up Francis! I told you not to say anything! He was my twin brother! You don't know how it feel to see your twin like that, the one who always says he will be your hero and save you! I'm not the baby you act like I am! Just leave me alone, I don't need you interfering in my life and my family's private matters!"

Suddenly I heard another strange voice breaking into my thoughts. "Uhh, you two aren't the only two in the class, and everybody is staring at you." I angrily turn from my fight with Francis to face a sheepish Toni. He spoke up after a minute of uncomfortable silence. "I was going to be lab partners with Gilly and let you be partners with Francis since you already know each other, but it might be better if I took Francis and you go with Gilly."

I smiled warmly at the clearly nervous Antonio. "That sounds like a great idea and..." A German sounding voice cut me off abruptly.

"No, it's awesome! So do you wanna sit with us at lunch?" Gilly asked.

I laugh and say I would love to join them as the bell rings and we walk out the door.

The next few classes were even more boring than Matthew had previously thought possible. He made a couple of acquaintances, but the trio from chemistry wasn't in any other of his classes in the morning. He was somewhat ashamed to be glad that he didn't have to put up with his annoying cousin and his constant prying eyes. If Francis was going to bring up Alfred and running away for the entire year, he might as well give up because Matthew wouldn't say anymore on either of the subjects. Aside from Francis, the rest of the trio didn't seem so bad. Now if only he can get them to remember him... Finally the bell rang, signalling lunch. Matthew walked out of his classroom and joined the flood of kids rushing to the cafeteria.

I walk into the cafeteria and it immediately amazes me how many kids there were here. So many opportunities to kill, Matthew.I wince at the voice in my head. No! I won't go there! I slowly sift through the students, searching for the distinct trio. I finally find them surrounded by students of all ages. It seemed like a very diverse group, if looks were anything to go by.

"Matthieu! Over here!" Francis shouted. I sighed. At least someone remembered me. I walked over to the table and dutifully say my hellos. Francis made me sit next to him so he can "protect" me. I don't particularly like my cousin, but he was one of many reasons why I ran away in seventh grade. I can't stand to see those I love in pain, and that's why I left. I gave a harsh laugh at my thoughts.

"See where that got you Matthew." I muttered to myself. "Now he's dead and it's all your fault." I remember it so clearly...

"Mattie, Mattie, Mattie! Why'd you run away? I followed you 'cause I'm the hero, and that's what heroes do! Mattie, are you alright? Mama and Papa miss you! You should totally come back with me and it would be totally cool! I miss having you at home! Well not really 'cause your'e really quiet. But it's the thought that counts! So will you come back? Please Mattie, do it for me! Please little brother!"

"Mattie says... no. You hurt me, did you know that? Every time you forgot me, or people mistook me for you, or you ditched me to hang out with Arthur, it was like a stab to my soul! And you know what? It happened every freaking day! Do you know how that feels? No, you don't! You go through life as the popular kid that everybody knows. You aren't the hero Alfred, as much as you dream that you are. If you were my hero, you would have remembered me when everybody else forgot me, saved me every time I was bullied because people thought I was you, ditched Arthur to hang out with me. But you didn't. Oh, and I'm not your little brother. We're twins. And I'm the older twin, not you! Face it Alfred. Nobody misses me. I bet it took a really long time for you to even realize I wasn't there. I counted on that. I can't live with you imbeciles anymore."