"So, wait, just 'BOOP' five years later?" Superboy asked, sitting in an armchair, holding a steaming cup of coffee.

"YUP," Nightwing responded, checking himself out in a mirror. "This show seems to be big on the whole 'BOOP' transition."

Superboy sipped his drink, "Isn't that a little, I dunno, lazy?"

"As lazy as an author saying he'd update for every new episode and then just skipping half a season?" Nightwing asked in response, admire his flexing reflection.

"Well, maybe not quite that lazy," Superboy shrugged, "But still, it's a big transition. It's almost less of a second season and more of a second series."

Nightwing turned around, facing Superboy, but instead of looking at the clone, he craned his neck around so he could check out his butt in the mirror, "I just think it seems like that because it's such a cold start. I mean, this is Weisman. The guy's not an amateur. He knows we all want to know what happened in the intervening years. We're obviously going to have a large amount of flashbacks and serious talks. It's a way to streamline character development while reaching an important point in the plot."

Superboy nodded, "True, but I'm just worried that it will be too much of a change. We already had a problem with lack of characterization due to the sheer size of the cast, and now we've expanded that cast and skipped five years. That's not exactly going to help with fleshing people out. Especially if we keep wasting time with Lagoon Boy."

Nightwing bent over to admire the curves of his sculpted ass, "You're just mad because he's banging Miss Martian."

Superboy's face went solid, "Am not. We always knew she was a kinky freak. She was into me because I was practically a baby and fit into her cosplay fantasy. Now she's into a fish boy who can enlarge himself, what's there to be surprised about?"

Nightwing stood and finally looked at Superboy, "I didn't say you were surprised. I said you were mad."

Superboy grumbled into his coffee.

"Besides," Nightwing went on, "I think the whole 'enlarging' part might be exactly why she was into him."

"There's a line," Superboy growled, "And you're toeing it."

"Whoa," Nightwing put his hands up, grinning, "I'm just saying that's she's probably into other shapeshifters, that's all."

"Uh huh," Superboy cocked an eyebrow, "That definitely wasn't a size joke."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nightwing crossed his arms and tossed his head to the side. "Besides, if she wanted size she'd have gone for me."

"If I had shields, I'd melt your face off and call it an accident."

"What's the matter? Caffeine not quite on par with Kryptonian smack?"

"Not even close," Superboy shifted his weight restlessly. "But, I've got a question. If your theory's right and she's into shapeshifters, why not go for Beast Boy? He's statutory and a shapeshifter. Two for one."

Nightwing put a hand on his chin, thinking, "It's probably the whole 'green' thing. Reminds her too much of home. It's too domestic."

"That's just it," Superboy gestured with his cup of coffee, the steam wafting behind, "He's now technically related to her. I thought incest would be at the top of the list for a freak like her."

"Ew," Nightwing hugged himself, "I feel dirty just thinking about it."

"Makes me feel kinda horny." Blue Beetle said.

Nightwing and Superboy turned to him. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground, eating a taco. "How long have you been there?" Superboy asked calmly.

"And WHY does that make you horny, you sick freak?" Nightwing gestured explosively.

"Since before the fic started, ese. I'm H's new favorite character." Blue Beetle shrugged, "Y no se. Probably has something to do with the X."

"I didn't know Hispanics were big into club drugs." Superboy sipped his coffee.

Blue Beetle pointed condescendingly at the clone with his taco, "That's stereotyping, man! Not cress. Besides, I don't need to hear it from the crack-clone."

"I've been clean for over five years!" Superboy looked up to the ceiling, as if asking for someone to back him up.

"Whatever," Blue Beetle shrugged. "But, anyway, I think you guys are limiting your vision of the weird kinkiness this team has the potential for by narrowing your focus to the green, middle aged chick."

"How so?" Nightwing asked.

"Well, think about it." Blue Beetle started counting off his fingers, "Batcest."

Nightwing dry heaved.

"Beast Boy and Wolf."

Superboy dropped his coffee cup.

"And I have always wanted to see the Supercycle get it on with the Bio-ship."

Nigtwing looked at Superboy after this third suggestion. They both shrugged.

"Besides, you're not even thinking about Jaime," Blue Beelte pointed to himself.

"What about you?" Superboy asked. Nigthwing mumbled something along the lines of 'do I want to know?'

"Well," Blue Beetle began, "First off, my suit is a sentient alien symbiote, capable of transforming itself into various shapes and tools, right?"

The other two heroes nodded.

"So, I'm practically a walking adult toy store!" Blue Beetle shouted, "Seriously, you should see the sick shit the suit does when the ladies flirt with me. He starts producing tentacles, and I'm like, 'NO! DON'T! STOP IT,' And the suit talks back to me like, 'I don't know what you're on about, ese, they seem to be liking it.' And on the one hand he's right, these girls are dripping wet and screaming in pleasure, and for a second I loosen up, but then I remember that I'm visiting a middle school, and then I end up having to mind wipe everyone there. Damn suit, I didn't even know we could do mind wipes! That shit is so useful! But every time I've brought it up since the suit is all, 'No se preguntame, ese.'"

Nightwing and Superboy just stared, slack-jawed.

For one reason or another, Blue Beetle took this as an invitation to continue, "And don't even get me started on the stupid shit that the suit pulls on me. This thing might be robotic, but it is horny as fuck. It's constant whispering sexual shit in my mind. Like, angry, sexual shit. Every now and then it'll start giving me a tug job inside the suit, and before I can stop it-"

"WHOA!" Nigtwing threw up his hands, "I have heard enough for one day!"

"More like a lifetime," Superboy hid his face in his hands.

"Oh shut it," Blue Beetle stood and put his hands on his hips, "Before I got in on the conversation you guys were talking about an inflated fish boy playing doctor with a fifty-year-old, shapeshifting, space dog."

"There's a line!" Superboy growled, "And you're in the process of crossing it!"

"Psh, whatever," Blue Beetle waved at Superboy dismissively. "You know his inflated fishhood has to be the size of a human calf-muscle. He gets in that green backside and they go to town! Then, at the bust, you know she whips out the old, 'HELLOOOOO MEGAAAAN!' while he's all "NEPTUNE'S PUBES!'"

"RAAUGH!" Superboy blurred at the teen, tackling him through a wall at superspeed.

"Heh," Nightwing chuckled to himself, "Neptune's Pubes. Asterous."

He turned around and went back to checking himself out in the mirror. He murmured to his reflection, "Look at that sweet, Nightwing ass."

In his room at Wayne Manor, Tim Drake sat alone in the dark, staring at a computer monitor.

A full-screen stream of Mount Justice had Tim's undivided attention. He flipped through camera after camera before settling on one with Nightwing posing in front of a mirror. The sounds of a fight and frightened Spanish echoed in the background.

Nightwing's voiced buzzed over the computer's speakers, "Look at that sweet, Nightwing ass."

"Oh, I am, Dick," Tim whispered as his face broke out into sweat.

Zip

"I am."

…

Wondergirl and Batgirl looked up from Tim's bed. Wondergirl spoke, "Dammit, Tim, if you need to get Batcestuous then come join me and Babs!"

"NO! GIRLS HAVE COOTIES AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Wondergirl's face broke into a sadistic grin, "You wanna bet, boy?"

…

"No! No, get away from me! No! No! No! AHHHHHH!"

"ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY AMAZON!"

"Hmmmmm," Batgirl grinned, "Sploosh."