A/N: This takes place some months ( 6 months?) after the end of the Kamui-Fuuma battle. I just made up my own ending to the battle, so there is no spoiler.

Characters © CLAMP

By Your Side

The lift door opened and I walked out with heavy steps towards my apartment. Okay, not my apartment, ours. Kamui would get mad if I say it was only mine. I was pretty sure he was already asleep, he wasn't an owl and he liked to keep his sleeping cycle normal, unlike me. My sleeping cycle was so screwed up I wonder how I still could get up for my classes every morning.

He would totally snort and say, "I told you not to take early classes and take up a part-time job which ends at midnight."

I smiled at that thought while unlocking my apartment door, greeted by almost darkness from the inside. Figures, he was already asleep. I stepped inside and noticed a faint light coming from the dining room, so I removed my shoes and walked towards said room.

A plate of fried rice was waiting for me on the table, covered with transparent plastic sheet. What made me smile was the note lying beside it, saying, "Welcome home! Don't bother to clean up, get to bed once you're done."

I chuckled and sat down on the table, eating the fried rice while checking the incoming mails. None was important, most were just ads. I couldn't think why companies still send out ads through the mail nowadays, they'd just get chucked into the dustbin anyway.

Once I was done, I stood up and washed the plate and the cutlery. I knew he told me not to bother and I appreciated it – I knew he was intending to clean up after me in the morning, but I also knew he would appreciate it if I washed up after myself, and it's just right to clean up your own dirt.

Drying my hands on the towel next to the sink, I left my bag which I dumped onto one of the chairs earlier there and made my way to the bedroom. I turned the door handle slowly, trying to make no noise. He was so sensitive to sounds, I didn't want to wake him up.

I was surprised to find that the lights were still on. He told me he never sleeps with the lights on – it annoyed him – and there he was, sleeping so soundly right on the middle of the king-sized bed. I didn't know where I was supposed to lie down later.

Shaking my head while smiling, I pulled the bathroom door open and got changed quickly. I smiled a lot, don't you think? I assure you, I wasn't really a smiley person. It's just that thinking about that small guy – don't tell him I said that, he'd get angry; he didn't like being reminded of how, um, vertically-challenged he was – would easily pull the ends of my mouth up. It was weird.

But I liked that.

He was precious to me. Very much so, that I would kill to make him smile.

You killed your own sister, and almost killed him too.

I bit my lips. Oh yeah.

I still couldn't get over the fact that I'd done that. Well, to be accurate, it wasn't me. It was 'Kamui' – I hated using that name, only Kamui was called Kamui, that impostor wasn't Kamui!

You mean he was you, my mind supplied. My expression darkened at that.

Yes, fine, he was me.

I guess.

Not really.

I don't know.

I gritted my teeth, pressing the toothpaste tube, and cursed quietly when too much paste squirted out. I began brushing my teeth with enough force to knock a tooth out if I wasn't careful, but I didn't care.

I rinsed my mouth once I was done, avoiding looking into the mirror the whole time. To be honest, I didn't like looking at myself after – that. After the end of the world thing. I didn't exactly know what happened, but I remembered suddenly waking up in some garden, Kamui looking down at me and one second later, hugging me. Then he collapsed.

Did I mention he was sobbing too?

And that both of us were covered in blood?

I wasn't sure what happened – no one told me the whole story, not even the weird guy with the Kansai accent whom I met with previously. A motherly-looking lady with curly hair told me that it was better if I didn't know. She smiled sadly when she said that. Another man with brown hair and glasses told me not to let go of Kamui ever again, and to take care of him no matter what. Of course, I told him not to worry. That was my intention after all. I promised Kamui myself that I was going to protect him, even if it costs my life.

That's why I went into a craze when I saw him covered in blood, his clothes torn in all places. He often got injured, but never to that extent! At least, that I knew of. The first time I noticed the two large scars on both his hands, and the other one on his left upper thigh, I horrifiedly demanded him to tell me what happened and what – or who – caused them, but he avoided answering my questions. He only grimaced and told me it was okay, and that they were just old scars.

I knew he wasn't telling the truth – or at least the entire truth. I had a feeling that –

That I was the one causing them.

I clenched my fists. I knew I didn't just lose my memory of almost one year because of some normal incident. It had got something to do with the end of the world thing – which no one bothered to explain every time I asked about it – and 'Kamui'.

That ever-smiling brunette guy – I couldn't remember his name, it was either Yuuto or Yuuhi or Yuuki – always called me that, before I asked him to stop. My name wasn't Kamui, dammit. I felt my hair standing when he called me that, too. I don't know, the name just seemed ... evil. It didn't make sense, yes, because Kamui wasn't evil at all. Just that when people call me 'Kamui', it did.

I think I knew why. I think 'Kamui' – I tried not to think you, referring to myself – did ... bad things. Not just bad, terrible. I mean, there were like, thousands of earthquakes happening in Japan in the period of time when I didn't remember anything. I woke up, covered in blood, with people around me – apart from Kamui – telling me not to worry because the end of the world was over. After that, no more earthquakes.

Okay, I know it's weird implying that I caused the earthquakes, but I seriously think I did.

And some massive earthquakes they were! The Yamanote line was destroyed, even the Rainbow Bridge!

I was pretty sure that Kamui, myself – or, ugh, 'Kamui' – and the people who were at the garden when I woke up had got something to do with the whole disaster. I faintly remember some time before my memory went blank, some woman gave birth to a sword (yes, you heard that right) in my house, and my sister, Kamui and I were brought to a campus.

I stopped on whatever I was doing at that.

Kotori.

They told me she had died. They didn't tell me what happened. But I heard one of them – accidentally, and without their knowing, of course – saying, "We must make sure he doesn't know what he's done. To his sister. And to Kamui."

I hated it! I hated that these people – and Kamui too! – were keeping secrets from me. I needed some answers, some information. They couldn't keep me in the dark forever!

I told them that one day, when I couldn't take it anymore. All of them went quiet and looked at Kamui.

What I had seen broke my heart.

Kamui looked – hurt. I tried not to regret asking, but seeing him like that, it was hard to. In the end, he told me – quietly, with hoarse voice, sounding like he was choking back tears – that one day, one day he would tell me. Everything. But not now.

I couldn't say anything but to accept that.

I could live with not knowing rather than seeing him so hurt.

I exited the bathroom which was connected to the bedroom, and switched off the lights before quietly walking to the bed. I lowered myself onto the mattress, trying to make minimum movements so as to not wake Kamui up.

I failed.

He lifted his head slightly when I got onto the bed, his half-mast eyes searching for me in the dark.

"Fuuma?"

"I'm here. Sorry I woke you up." I whispered. I touched his arm to let him know where I was.

"You just got back?" Kamui shifted on the bed, making some space for me – thankfully, if he didn't I was pretty sure I was going to wake up on the floor in the morning – and pulled the blanket up his body.

"Not long ago." I made myself comfortable on the bed, placing my head on the pillow and also pulling the blanket over me. My leg found Kamui's under the cool blanket, and I felt him scooting closer.

"Mm. Now sleep." Kamui's arm found my waist and he leaned in, resting his head on my chest and his arm across my stomach. I rubbed on his back gently and heard him sigh, wiggling slightly and not long, his steady breathing, informing that he was back asleep.

I took his hand in mine and interlaced our fingers – I felt his fingers tightening their hold on mine and had to smile –, closing my eyes.

For now, I didn't care what I'd done. For now, what I know was that I was going to be by his side, no matter what. I knew he wouldn't mind that.

END.