JannaKalderash - Thanks for the review and all the others, I appreciate them. Truly.

Robot521 - A Riddler theme rainbow? ...so a green and purple rainbow? Sometimes with a little golden yellow? LOL! Thanks for all your loyalty. I greatly appreciate your reviews throughout...gosh, all three stories. ^_^

NoSpillBlood - Sorry about the second cliffhanger, it was the only good place to cut the chapter in two. Thanks for the reviews. Thanks a whole heap!

Violeta27 - You jizz a lot. O_o I've heard...o_o...never mind, any way I say it, it comes out dirty...*millions of cariad*...see what I did there?

Pinkqueen - I'm not really mean, I'm just programed that way. V_V

me-ladie - Hey, the fact that you review at all is muchly appreciated. I find when it comes to doing the right thing, Bats can't really see past the law. He can be a little crazy when it comes to protecting the people of Gotham. I'm glad you noticed that I brought some of Harley's psychologist out. She's a trained analyzer, so I always imagined she would have pearls of wisdom somewhere beneath her immature attitude towards life.

NURSE J0Y - I'm glad you appreciate Eddie's humour. He's twisted enough to be fairly calm when it comes to getting shot, plus you know, he should be used to it by now.

jacksparrowlovesme - LOL! How well you know Crane!

TanithSeh1011 - Well, Bruce is essentially a nice guy. I can see him being a little extreme in his beliefs of right and wrong, but deep down he still has that sweet, almost touching admiration for Lina. I could never see him being with her because they would both have to change who they are to settle together, but I have a feeling that he still always has her at heart.

Renny777 - Hell, with how busy you are, I'm just honoured you find the time to read and review period. You know I don't hold anything against anyone who doesn't review. I never started posting these stories for the fame or glory, I just wanted to unite some like-minded people together with a pairing that doesn't get enough love. I'm just glad I got some really kind, respectful people who've gathered together for my stories. If I make them happy, then it makes me super happy. ^_^ And also, as a cat person, I can definitely say 'you can't say no to a cat'. If they want snuggles, they'll damned well get some snuggles, if they want something, they'll get at it.

KaylaRocks - If you make a video, let me know. I'd love to see it. Someone should make a community somewhere for this pairing where we can share all these stories and videos and such. That would be heaven. ^_^

ChaoticBane - Your review was 'quite interesting'. Sorry, though, I don't write Bane stories. I wouldn't do him justice, as I tend to skip comics that feature him as the villain. The passion and interest should be there, and it just isn't. Good luck with your hunt to find someone who can bring light to your pairing of choice, though. And thanks for the review.

vaude . renz - Thanks so much! I don't think I could ever truly stop writing this pairing, so don't think you've seen the last of me. (sorry for the spaces in your name, fanfiction won't allow it to show up as it is...silly site).

Beldam - Thanks a lot for you review. It was so nice! Between you and me I wish Fries got more page time, as he's one of my favourites and I'm glad you appreciated the way I've written him. He always seemed like a father figure type to me, maybe because unlike the other villains, his was a truly sad origin story and I really felt for him.

TO MY KIND REVIEWERS! I would like to say quickly, that I really, truly appreciate the people who have reviewed this and other stories. You don't know just how much your kind reviews and unknowing support has meant to me. There have been days where I would try to slack off, but a dynamite review from a marvelous human being would pop up and remind me that there were people out there who were waiting for an update. If it wasn't for any of you, I'm not sure if I would have ever gained confidence enough to turn a silly story I wrote to entertain myself into a series that birthed more fans of the pairing. It comes off as shallow merely saying 'thanks' in an AN, but just know that I really, really mean it.

To those of you who have read and walrus'd right through the whole series, just know I'm grateful you enjoyed these stories and I understand that not everyone is bold enough to make contact with someone on the internet. I know how it is not wanting to say anything for fear of insulting someone accidentally or feeling embarrassed by something I may have posted (but then again I can be a neurotic mess sometimes). I'm just glad you were entertained long enough to get to this AN. And for that, I say THANKS! ^_^

ENJOY THE LAST CHAPTER!

Epilogue

Christmas Eve: Two Years Later

**Bruce Wayne**

The tree was perfect.

It was easy having a perfect tree when you hire someone to decorate it for you.

Sitting in his over stuffed chair by the window, Bruce quietly sipped at the egg nog Alfred pushed into his hand and eyed Tim as he wrapped gifts for orphans at the reformatory. The young man was having the battle of his life with a particularly odd shaped gift, but struggled through it anyways.

Since the Joker disappeared off the face of the earth, Gotham had become a lot quieter. Not perfectly quiet, old timers like the Mad Hatter and Killer Croc were still out there, but the newcomers didn't seem to have the passion or abilities of their predecessors.

Deep down Bruce had to admit to himself that without the Joker, things were better in Gotham, but even deeper down he still lived with some guilt over his decision. It haunted him.

But then again it was just one more thing to haunt him, it added to many others that dwelt in the rooms of his mind.

Outside a light, a beacon flared, breaking the darkness and Bruce pushed to his feet.

Tim followed suit quietly, moving past Alfred who was returned to them with a tray of sugar cookies.

Snatching a handful with a cheeky wink on his way past, Tim took to the stairs ahead of Bruce.

"Alfred, tell Miss…" he trailed off. "Carver?"

"Cartwright."

"Yup, that's the one. Tell her I won't be too late."

"Shall I turn down a guest bed for the young lady, sir?" Alfred asked.

Bruce beamed at his butler and long-time friend. "I don't think that's necessary."

The dry man pursed his lips. "Of course, sir."

**Selina**

The alley smelled faintly of day old Italian food and urine, despite the fresh scent of falling snow that hovered over it.

High above a young couple, the slinky figure of a cat lurked, watching the encroaching gang who had surrounded them like a bunch of sharks who caught the scent of blood in the water.

"Hand over the money and you won't get cut, fuckers." One of the gang members snarled.

Sighing, the cat dropped from her perch, landing beside the couple.

"Why don't you hopeless little punks take a break," she purred. "It's Christmas for god's sake."

The young men hesitated, but a sharp snap from the whip Selina carried sent them into a slow, unsure retreat, back into the shadows and under the rocks they had crawled from.

Making sure the little bastards actually left, Selina curled her whip up and secured it at her side once more.

"Thank you." The woman cooed softly.

Glancing over her shoulder at the couple, she sneered a little. "Here's a tip, kids. If you're new to Gotham, keep clear of the dark alleys."

"What's your name?" The man asked. "How can we thank you?"

Leaping back up onto the fire escape she had come from, Selina ignored the question and scooted back into the night.

She moved across the rooftops, heading towards the west, away from the bay.

At a boring apartment building in the middle class area, she slipped into a window that couldn't be picked out among a sea of windows and landed on plain, beige carpeting.

It didn't take long for her to strip out of her catsuit, hanging it carefully in the back of the closet.

Strolling across the floor in her underwear, she headed for the bathroom, as another form slipped in through the bedroom window after climbing the fire escape.

"Is that what the kids are wearing these days?" Eddie asked. "Because I like it."

Selina smiled softly. "Give it a few years, Ed. Where were you tonight?"

"Business," he replied, pulling at his tie to loosen it. "You?"

"The same."

"On Christmas Eve?" He asked.

"Same question right back at you," she replied.

Removing his jacket, he walked across the room to hang it on a hanger in the closet,

Selina attacked him from behind, whipping the tie off him and tearing his shirt open.

Eddie turned around with a smile. "Kitten, you pop the buttons off all my shirts and I'll have nothing to wear." His smug smile fell and he tilted his head. "Oh, I get it. That's your intention, isn't it?"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "See? You're not as dumb as you look."

"I love you, Selina," he said, "but the last man who called me dumb had to have a closed casket funeral."

"Ooh, I'd better watch my tongue then." She replied, pulling her head back as he went in for a kiss.

Flitting away from him spryly, she removed her sports bra and launched it in his direction as she headed into the bathroom.

"I didn't mean you had to keep that tongue to yourself," he called after her. "Don't be too long, Maggie is expecting us at eight."

Poking her head back out of the bathroom, Selina furrowed her brow at him. "Maggie won't care if we're late."

"But it's still ru-ah…" Eddie paused.

Selina watched as his nose wrinkled, before he reached quickly for his handkerchief to sneeze into it. She chuckled softly.

"Still have that cold, hm? Maybe it's a good thing I didn't kiss you."

He politely wiped his nose with his handkerchief and sniffled. "I'm getting over it. Maybe if you made me some soup…showed me a little tenderness…"

Stripping completely, she dropped her underwear into the hamper in the bathroom, before moving back into the bedroom. "Well, I did bring you soup, but you said it tasted like dishwater, so I threw it in your face. Remember?"

"Was that the grey dishwater or the green bog water?" He asked.

Purring, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him. "Keep making smart assed remarks about my cooking and you'll find yourself in a snow bank."

"Again?"

"And you know, another thing, Ed." She went on. "You gave me your cold, I feel it coming on."

He smiled almost proudly. "Good. I'm glad."

"Bastard," she replied.

"Wait until you get exhausted and hungry, then we'll see who brings the soup." He went on.

"I regret ever letting you touch me," she went on, arms still wrapped around his neck.

He beamed. "Ah, well, let's see if we can up that 'regret' to 'rue'." Leaning down, he kiss her on the tip of her nose.

She turned her head away. "Don't. I don't want your germs."

Selina struggled to escape his kisses, but she found herself plastered tightly against him by a pair of strong arms.

"Come on, Ed. We'll be late."

He released her at the sound of someone at the door.

Wandering into the bathroom, Selina waved Eddie in the direction of the door since he was the better dressed of the two.

He pulled a shirt on before moving into the living space that was small, minimalist and tidy.

Listening from the bathroom as she pulled on her robe, she heard a low, feminine tone, then the squeaky chirp of a little boy.

Three years old and thankfully more calm and even mannered like his father.

She hurried into the next room to find Ivy and little Victor at the door.

Little Victor was wearing the green bowler his 'Uncle' Eddie gave him over top of his bright blue ski-cap and holding his mother's hand. He was only three, but acted like a little grown up already. Ivy had flipped the hell out when Eddie gave Victor the hat, she almost killed him then and there, but resisted because the boy seemed to adore his Uncle Eddie.

"Selina, I'm glad we caught you. You two are never home anymore." Ivy greeted.

"Hi!" Victor squeaked.

Leaning down, Selina tipped the bowler up out of the boy's eyes and smiled. "Hey, sweetie. Merry Christmas."

"Um-hm." The boy replied, toying with the cuff on him mother's jacket. He twisted a button almost shyly.

Stroking his chin, Eddie eyed the women. "Well, you two can chatter, I have to get dressed."

Before Eddie could make his escape, Victor was at his side, tearing away from his mom.

"Um?" The boy asked, tugging at Eddie's hand, stopping him.

The Riddler looked down at him. "What's wrong, brat?"

The boy twitched nervously, before fumbling into his pocket for a little wrapped gift. It was pretty much wrapped in a ball of news paper and tape, but Selina could see the love that the little man put into it.

He held it out for Ed.

"For me?"

"Um-hm." The boy nodded furiously, still holding the ball of newspaper up. "Dad broke his cup today. He said a bad word."

Eddie laughed as he took the gift. "Did he now?"

"Um-hm."

Touching the top of the bowler to get the boy's attention, Eddie stooped low to talk to him. "I have to go and change, if you wait around until then I'll give you your gift, okay?"

"Um-hm."

"And you can open it tonight because I said so."

The boy's eyes lit up and he looked at his mom to confirm this.

She glared at Ed.

"You have to do everything to win him over, don't you?" She snarled.

He smiled and adjusted his tie. "I think he's already won over by now, Ivy. Now I just do it to P-I-S-S you off."

Selina smiled as Eddie wandered off to dress and Victor returned to his mom's side, clutching her hand.

Ivy entered the apartment with her son and they plopped down on the over stuffed beige sofa in the living room.

"You don't have any decorations up." She observed.

Taking a seat in the chair across from them, Selina tucked her feet up. "No, we weren't feeling in the Christmas mood this year."

"Huh, would have taken Ed to be the type to over-do the lights and tinsel."

Selina shrugged. "He's been sick with a cold for a while now…I guess he just didn't have the energy."

Hopping down from the sofa, Victor crawled up onto Selina's lap and pulled out a balled up wad of newspapers for her.

She took the present.

"Thanks, sweetie. Did you wrap this yourself?"

"Next year we'll have a bigger tree and it's gonna have a dinosaur." He said, ignoring her question as children were wont to do.

At the 'dinosaur' remark, Selina looked at Ivy over her son's head.

The red head smirked. "Decoration. I B-O-U-G-H-T him one for his S-T-O-C-K-I-N-G this year."

"I saw a dinosaur at the park." Victor went on, fidgeting with his coat buttons nervously, eyes downcast.

"Museum, honey." Ivy corrected.

"Um-hm. Museum. Auntie Lina you have long hair." He went on, taking hold of a strand. Victor didn't pull it, he just stroked it and then let it go.

"It's getting pretty long, isn't it?" She asked.

"Mom puts red soap in hers and then it's red again."

Eddie could be heard in the bedroom laughing hard. It was easy to understand why he seemed so fond of the boy, Victor had a knack of putting his own mother in her place without ever meaning to do so and it pleased Eddie to no end.

Ivy shifted in her seat.

Selina, deciding to save Ivy's dignity, ignored the remark and change the subject. "So, was it a big dinosaur?"

"Yes! He was naked."

"Naked?"

"Um-hm."

"He didn't have any flesh," Ivy helped her son out, "he was a skeleton, wasn't he?"

"Um-hm, skelington."

Emerging from the bedroom in a very flashy black pinstripe, Eddie adjusted the jewel green tie at his neck and smiled broadly at Ivy.

She quirked a brow. "What's with the suit, Ed? Not your usual puke green, three piece disaster."

Leaning his hip against the arm of the chair Selina was in, Eddie smirked. "Oh, haven't you heard, Ivy? Fashion tends to change with the seasons."

"Right." She replied, folding her arms.

"Alright, you caught me," he went on casually, grunting as Victor climbed across Selina to hop onto his Uncle's back. "I have a date with a beautiful woman tonight."

"Anyone I know?" Selina asked playfully.

"Nope." Standing up with the little boy still koala bearing about on his back, Eddie moved across the apartment to the kitchen table where a bag of gifts had been left. He rifled through the bag and pulled out a large present wrapped with blue and green gift wrap. "Well," he said, "I'd give you the gift, but you need both hands to open it…"

Pushing to her feet, Selina walked over and scooped the boy off Eddie's back to set him on the floor.

He could barely carry the gift, so she helped him into the living room where Victor sat down and immediately began tearing into the present.

Selina smiled as Eddie sat on the floor across from the boy to watch.

Victor got down to the box underneath the paper and struggled to open it.

Getting the box open, the little man pulled out a giant stuffed tiger, it was almost as big as him.

Victor's eyes widened and he beamed from ear to ear, he hugged the regal creature, practically riding it's back as he did so.

"Your mom told us you liked the tigers at the zoo, so we thought you'd like one to keep." Selina said.

Victor nodded furiously, still riding the stuffed animal's back.

"What do you say?" Ivy reminded her son.

Remembering himself, Victor pulled away from the giant stuffed cat long enough to thank Eddie and Selina by launching himself at first Eddie then Selina for a hug.

"How's Doctor Fries, Pam?" Selina asked as Eddie and Victor settled into playing with the tiger. It became interactive when you turned it on, growling when you treated it poorly, purring loudly when you stroked or pet it.

"He's good, as far as I know. You know him, he's a veritable mystery. Keeps to himself. He's quiet though, so I can't complain too much. A couple of weeks ago, he had a breakthrough with his research, so I've been giving him some time to himself while he works on it. He's cooking tonight. Making Victor's favourite for Christmas Eve supper, isn't he, sweetie?" She asked her son.

VJ nodded. "Um-hm. Pssgetti."

Pushing to her feet, Ivy laughed. "He can't say spaghetti."

"It is a hard one." Eddie agreed as all the adults stood.

"Well, we should go." Ivy said. "Fries will probably have dinner ready by the time we get home."

Struggling to carry his tiger, Victor followed his mom and the other adults to the door.

Selina peeled off long enough to get Ivy and Fries' gifts from the bag on the table, handing them to her at the door.

"Merry Christmas, Pam."

The red head took the gifts. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" Victor chirped, still struggling with his tiger.

"Sweetie, do you want me to take him?"

"No." The boy said, trucking out into the hall with his tiger.

"I'm sensing a lot of Calvin and Hobbes jokes coming from Ed in the future." Ivy muttered.

Eddie beamed innocently. "It never even crossed my mind."

"Um-hm." Ivy replied. "Goodnight, kids."

"Goodnight, Pam." Selina replied.

The two of them stood in the doorway to the apartment, watching Ivy and her son as they turned the corner and took the stairs, before they closed the door.

"Get dressed, kitten." Eddie said. "We'll never hear the end of this from Temple."

As Selina hurried into the bedroom to finish changing, she heard Ed laughing in the living room.

"What's so funny?" She called.

"I just opened the gift from Victor." He replied.

Tugging on a pair of grey twill dress pants, she hurried back into the living room, her black sweater in hand.

Eddie held up a walnut with googly eyes glued on.

"Aw, it's a tree decoration." She mused, smiling at the gift. "It's got little pistachio shell feet!"

Dangling the walnut man by the green ribbon, Eddie chuckled. "Open yours."

After pulling her sweater on, Selina hurried to get her ball of newspaper and tape, and opened it.

There was a very similar walnut person inside, this one had glued on yarn for hair.

"You got a little lady nut."

She laughed softly. "I think they're cute."

"Well, at least he put some effort into making us something." Ed pointed out. "Ready?"

She moved into the small front hall to pull on her coat. "Just give me a second, I have to put my boots on."

As she dressed for the weather and Eddie moved about the small apartment turning off the lights and such, she called out.

"Do you think Pam's on to us?"

Grabbing the bag of gifts and his car keys out of the little front hall table key bowl, Eddie shook his head. "I don't think she has the deductive skills to be on to us." He said, pulling his green and purple scarf around his neck. "Though we should probably think about upgrading to a bigger apartment. I think she might soon figure out that the elegant and somewhat prideful Selina Kyle can't stand to live in a shoebox."

Pulling her hair out of her coat, she glared at him. "I don't need a big apartment."

"Ha! Your clothes alone could fill this apartment as a closet." He replied.

"I've pared them down enough to fit in our closet, haven't I?" She demanded.

"We have a walk-in closet, kitten, and I only have five suits." Picking up a small device that looked like a car starter, Ed beamed. "Lock the door, would you?"

She did what he asked, but moved slowly on purpose. Somehow she still enjoyed being rebellious in her own little ways.

"Give us a squeeze." He went on, pulling a pair of black framed glasses out of his inner suit pocket and putting them on.

"Can we do this without touching?" She inquired.

Reaching out, he pulled her against him and smirked. "Don't be stubborn."

"Don't boss," before she could even finish that statement, they were in a dark, empty parking lot beside a parked, black Audi in the middle of the office park, "me around." She finished.

"Want to drive?" He asked, ignoring her indigence.

"Not really."

**Fries**

By the time Pam returned with Victor, Fries had the table in the dining room of his home set.

The red head entered the house, followed by a little man struggling with a large stuffed tiger, both arms wrapped around it, just barely able to keep it from dragging in the snow.

He smiled ever so at the determine look on his son's face as the boy kicked off his snow boots and hauled his cat into the living room where a fake tree glistened with lights.

Pam smirked at her son as she moved to stand beside Fries to watch as Victor set his newest gift down proudly with the other wrapped ones under the tree.

"Well, just be glad Edward didn't give him another Riddler themed gift," Fries said.

Beside him Pam sighed heavily. "I swear he's just doing that to goad me."

"That's not the only reason," he observed. "He also does it to gain the boy's affection so he won't become a victim of his wrath again."

"I never thought of that." She said.

Victor marched over to his parents.

"Hungry?" Fries asked.

His son nodded.

"Dinner's ready, let's eat." He held his gloved hand out to the boy, but stubbornly the little man ignored it. He was fighting for independence, but then again he was at that age. He hated to be carried or treated like a baby, and the fights he gave his parents when they tried to strap him into his car seat were epic.

Beside him Pam could only smile at her son as Fries chuckled at the boy.

"Merry Christmas, Pam." He said as she wandered past him.

She turned green eyes on him. "Merry Christmas, Doc."

"I hope you don't mind, I moved Nora into the house for the holidays. I thought she'd like to eat with us and be here for the morning." He went on almost nervously.

Pam gave him a warm look, something she didn't give many men. "She can go where she wants. I will miss her though."

"I'm sure she'll be back after the holidays." He assured her.

**Selina**

They were driving through the quiet, sparkling homes of Little Gotham, twisting and turning down a maze of similar streets.

The radio was turned off, so Eddie quietly whistled Sukiyaki as he turned the Audi onto a quiet, innocuous, maple lined street.

Beside him Selina quietly watched the Christmas lights pass by her window as they drove. The last three or four Christmases had been so different from those she had in the past, but this one seemed especially serene. As though she had hit her stride with the holiday and finally found the peace that people said it was supposed to bring. It took four years for Ed to finally shut up, they had found comfort in silence, but she still loved to hear his voice. For some reason it still comforted her as much as it ever did.

From behind his fake glasses he glanced over at her, a graceful brow arching as he did. "You're quiet tonight." He pointed out. "You must be sick."

She smirked at the world outside her window. "I'm not the one who needs to talk to live." She said.

He chuckled. "Are you feeling okay?"

"You try to deny being pregnant by claiming to be sick once and you never live it down," she mused. "I'm fine. Good actually."

"Happy?"

"As happy as one can realistically be."

"That's my girl, feet planted firmly on the ground."

She smiled.

They passed a house where an entire family had gathered on their front lawn to greet arriving grandparents, the little children huddled around the elderly couple like worshipers at the base of an icon.

It gave her a little pang of jealousy, but she had long learned to repress the feeling of being alone in the world. After all, she wasn't so alone anymore. She had her own small family. It was probably better than most families since at least she wasn't blinded by love and knew which relatives were not to be trusted.

They slowed to take a gentle curving street, before turning onto Harper Drive. House after boring house passed by her window, until the cookie-cutter homes began shifting, morphing into quaint Victorian style homes as Harper Drive became less yuppie and more traditional.

Pulling into the driveway of a good sized, cornflower blue two story with white trim, they parked and emerged from the vehicle.

Looking at her over the top of the car, Eddie smiled. "You know, kitten, I don't say this often enough, but you look beautiful tonight."

She beamed at him. "Keep those thoughts to yourself, Romeo. I'm not looking to get knocked up by you again."

He laughed. "Says the woman who was pawing at me like a badger earlier..."

"Mr. O'Hara!"

The two of them both turned to find the cute, older woman from next door hustling across her snowy lawn towards them, a sweater and snow boots hastily thrown on, a plate of sugar cookies wrapped in cling film in her hand. She had grey hair that was on the verge of becoming a blizzard of white and looked like anyone's grandmother with her perfectly curled hair and well hemmed dress.

"Merry Christmas." Eddie replied. "Mrs. Kennedy, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's me. I keep trying to get a hold of you two, but you're never home it seems."

"We work nights, usually." Selina said politely, moving around the car to stand beside Ed.

"Mrs. Kennedy, I'm Edward and this is Selina."

The woman smiled warmly. "Well, Merry Christmas to the both of you. Alvin, my husband, said I was crazy to make you these cookies, he said strangers don't trust homemade goods anymore, but what does he know? He locks himself in that damned garage of his all day and comes out at night like a vampire."

Eddie chuckled.

The woman thrust the plate into his hands. "But I hope you don't think your neighbour would poison the newcomers." She said.

"Of course not. You don't look like Lucrezia Borgia to me." He replied.

This seemed to delight the woman. "Well, I should get back inside. Our boy's home and he brought the wee one. Oh, he's such a cute little thing! Four months old, but I swear he's smart as a whip." She wave to them again. "Anyways, welcome to the neighbourhood and Merry Christmas again!"

"Same to you!" Selina called after her as the woman hurried back into the warmth of her house. As soon as she had the door close, she turned to Ed. "You told her your name is O'Hara?"

He smirked. "No, I told her our name was O'Hara."

"That's kind of presumptuous of you."

"Not really. We'll stick out less among the yuppie suburbanites if we're married. Hell, in this neighbourhood Lucy and Ricky would be considered scandal." He said.

Folding her arms, she eyed him. "Just don't get any ideas."

"Believe me, kitten, I know better than to sacrifice myself at that alter."

"You'd better get me one hell of a ring..." she added.

**Crane**

In an old, warm house in Little Gotham, he sat reading Dickens. Not A Christmas Carol, which would have been typical of a Christmas Eve, but Hard Times which was decidedly not typical.

From out of the hall a naked two year old came thumping gracelessly, having just gotten used to walking, squealing loudly and naked as the day he was born. The boy zipped by once, followed by the woman who was struggling to get him into a bath, before doubling back and going by once more.

It wasn't until the third go, that Jonathan Crane extended a long leg and blocked the boy's escape.

Clasping both arms around Crane's leg at the knee, the boy giggled loudly, blue eyes bright.

The woman on his trail, scooped the little hellion up.

"Thank you, Mister Crane." Maggie said, brushing a long strand of hair off her face.

Grumbling something unintelligible, Crane motioned for her to move on, he was reading.

"Shall we take a bath?" She asked the boy.

The boy laughed and squirmed in her arms.

Apparently he was at the age where he just wanted to go.

Thumping the book closed when the door opened, he looked up to find Selina and Eddie stepping in from the cold, Selina had her hands full with her purse and a bag of gifts, Eddie was carrying his car keys and a plate of what looked like cookies.

Crane's interest was piqued.

"Shortbread?" He asked as Edward stepped into the living room with the plate.

Opening the wrapping, Edward took a bite of a cookie. "Sugar."

"Ugh."

Setting the plate down on a nearby end table, Edward smiled. "Merry Christmas to you too."

"You know, Jon," Selina said as she joined them. "Just because you know where we actually live, doesn't mean it's an open invitation."

He tsked. "You'd throw me out into the mercy of the cold and snow on Christmas?"

"Gladly." She replied.

As they had this exchange the little man zipped by, still naked, but this time dripping wet and leaving a trail.

Everyone watched as he raced by, followed by a damp Maggie Kyle. She gave Lina a drowning look.

"Trying to give him a bath?" She asked her sister.

"He got into the potted plant."

"Ed?" Selina asked.

The man smiled and pocketed his hands casually. "Eli?"

The boy eventually came thumping gracelessly, still laughing like a madman, eyes shining up at his father.

Edward stooped over to come face to face with the little angel faced devil. "Baby soup, Eli. Go make baby soup."

The boy cackled madly and held his arms out for his father.

"No hug, baby soup."

Still grinning, the boy dropped his arms, contemplated his father's stern look and the situation, before thumping off in the direction of the downstairs bathroom, followed by his father.

"That will never cease to amuse me." Crane replied with a sick grin. "Playful suggestions of cannibalism to get a child to bathe. Remarkable."

Selina looked at her sister, ignoring the man who had haunted their comfy chair on and off since they moved in a few months back. "Where's Temple?"

"In the kitchen, he's fixing your wall clock." Maggie said almost nervously.

"In his defence it was eight seconds fast." Crane pointed out.

Selina nodded. "Okay. You want to stay in the spare room tonight?" She asked her sister.

"I'm a gentleman," Crane broke in. "She can have my room."

Selina glared at him. "Your room is the spare room, you're going home."

Crane pushed to his feet. "After all I've done for you…"

"Goodnight, Jon." She said, pushing him in the direction of the front hall. "You can come back tomorrow if you promise to behave."

He snatched up his overcoat and scarf. "Thanks for the mercy." He snarled.

"Thanks for bringing a dessert tomorrow night." She stated firmly.

Tugging on the warm knit cap that Maggie had given him last year for Christmas, Crane glowered stubbornly at Selina, before opening the door.

"Goodnight."

"See you tomorrow, Jon." She returned.

**Edward**

The house was finally quiet that night.

Downstairs the light of the Christmas tree was the only thing that lit the house, eerily touching every corner of the house with a soft glow.

Lying in bed beside Selina, he enjoyed the peace and quiet, it had become hard to find quiet since Eli learned that he could made noise just by opening his mouth. The boy was genuinely a good kid, but he was becoming a handful.

In fact any second Edward expected to hear that familiar thump of Eli sneaking out of his crib and the unmistakable patter of his little feet as he clumsily made his way down the hall towards his parent's bedroom.

How did he get here? He often wondered.

It wasn't like Edward Nygma was ever the type that people expected to have a child and a life that was almost domestic.

It wasn't a terrible leap from what he was to what he now faced, but it was still odd to him. Half the time he forgot he was supposed to be a role model. It wasn't easy. He was used to doing things for himself, but ever since Eli started walking and developing better motor skills, the little man was determined to copy everything his father did.

It was amusing at first, but now Edward found himself changing his ways a little to accommodate his mockingbird boy.

Still. Despite all this, he didn't feel like he would want it any other way.

If changing himself even a little kept Selina and Eli at his side always, he wouldn't mind being someone else. After all, he was getting into the whole Edward O'Hara act. Edward O'Hara was a man who owned a security and alarm system business, who worked most nights checking on clients, who was perhaps outwardly a perfect father and husband. He even wore glasses to help hide his features a little better.

Hell, Edward O'Hara even managed to keep that widow's peak of his from displacing his hair.

Beside him Selina shifted in her sleep and Edward gathered her in his arms a little tighter, pulling her back against him.

What a world.

Down the hall he heard a muffled thump and smirked.

It was like clockwork.

Small feet padded down the hall, getting closer.

The doorknob jiggled as Eli struggled with it. The boy wasn't that good at opening doors yet and had to stand on his tiptoes to reach the knob, but he eventually got it open.

There was silence as the thick carpet of their bedroom muffled the small feet, but soon Edward felt a presence at his side of the bed.

He released Selina and rolled over to find a pair of shining eyes peering over the edge at him, they were wide, scared of the dark and the terrors that lingered there.

"Thirsty?" Edward asked.

The boy shook his head.

"Monster?"

He nodded furiously.

Nodding with his son, Edward sat up to heft his son onto the bed. The boy clutched his stuffed skunk tight as he was hoisted up and over his father and settled into the warmth and safety of the bed between his parents.

Selina opened a sleepy eye, before wrapping an arm around her son.

As Edward settled he slid his arm over both his son and his wife, before settling in for a good Christmas slumber. He'd have to be a fool to want anything more. And Edward Nygma was NOT a fool.

**Crane**

He was shuffling through the snow as it fell, hands deep in the pockets of his overcoat, nose nuzzled down into the scarf around his neck.

It was nearly midnight, and oddly still in Gotham, as he moved down the quiet street heading for his lair.

Wondering if it was the weather or the holiday that kept the hoods from skulking in the shadows of the street, he turned down a well lit alley, heading for an abandoned methadone clinic where he had set up shop.

At the end of the alley a lone figure shuffled in a manner quite like his, head bowed to keep their nose inside their scarf, hands in their pockets.

As he drew nearer, Crane saw the person was wearing a garish Santa hat with a light in the pom-pom that flashed red and green.

It was horrible, but at least a person with that kind of fashion sense wouldn't dare rob him.

Preparing to pass by the other person, he moved to the right of the alley, as they moved left. They went by quietly, ignoring him as he ignored them.

He took two steps beyond the form, when the familiar scent of orange blossom hit his nose through the clean scent of the snow and Crane stopped in his tracks.

It wasn't a rare scent or anything, but it was one he didn't often smell on a woman.

Turning he followed the form with his eyes.

From the back the shapeless coat had a little more shape, a round rear, small waist could be made out, moving underneath the material.

Crane followed the person curiously, his brow furrowed.

There was something about their walk, dainty, almost girlish steps, feet one in front of the other primly.

His long legs drew him closer, faster to the shorter being and he was soon right behind it (her?).

Suddenly, the form turned on him, blue eyes flashing. "Hey, pal, you got-!"

Crane took a step back as Harleen Quinzel's hellfire was extinguished.

"Oh…" she said.

He had no idea what to say to her. Since they took out the Joker, he hadn't seen or heard from her. He had a horrible thought once that perhaps the Joker killed her before they got to him.

She blinked at him with startled eyes. They were still wide and deceptively innocent.

The two of them studied each other quietly for what felt like hours, before Harleen dropped her proud chin. "M-Merry Christmas, Professa Crane."

He swallowed thickly. "Harleen."

She hesitated, before speaking again. "Whatcha doin' out this way?"

Crane pointed in the direction of his lair, but he couldn't find words. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was when she was being her sweet self and not some made up clown carrying a big hammer.

She blinked those long, luscious lashes of hers that were gathering snowflakes like leaves gather dew and followed his finger.

"Headin' home?" She guessed.

He nodded.

She forced a sad smile. "Me too."

He nodded again.

After a few more minutes of silence, he grew uncomfortable enough to spin on his heel and head back in the direction of his lair. He didn't like being uncomfortable. It wasn't his place. His was to be the one forcing discomfort, not receiving it.

He took four steps, before his courage returned and he spun back to face her.

The area where Harleen stood was already empty.

Jonathan Crane stared at it for a moment, brow furrowed delicately, before his foot moved on it's own accord and he was pushing through the snow after her.

Reaching the street, he looked one way and then the other, nearly missing the petite blonde who had pressed herself almost fearfully into a doorway.

If it wasn't for her ample bosom heaving, she would have gotten away with it.

Slowly, he approached her.

She looked sheepish at being caught trying to hide, but took it like Harley Quinn would, with a little bout of anger.

"Hey! Whatcha doin' now? Followin' me again?" She demanded.

Crane tilted his head. He could handle anger. "Are you scared of me, Harleen?"

"No!" She growled.

Unable to prevent himself from being who he was, he said, "would you like to be?"

Her enraged blue eyes softened and she dipped her head. "You could try."

With a slow twist of his head, his body followed and he knew as he marched back into the alley proudly, that a small blonde was close on his heels.

He smiled ever so. That sick, ghost-of-a-grin smile of his.

The End