Not much to say except:

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And finally, Thanks to:

*HolidayBoredom*

*Alchemechanist*

*KKCopper*

*Steinbock*

*Beckett Simpleton*

*2whitie*

*tech17*

*Shadow Huntress*

*Q the omnipotent night fury*

* Iris Hollandica *

* TearBear3695 *

... for your brilliant reviews! :)

For the last time in this fic, Onwards! :)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - Tying Up Loose Ends

As the taxi drew up to the grand iron-wrought gates of Fowl Manor, Butler was forced to urge his battered mobile into use once again to ring Juliet, since Harvey from security was refusing to let them in without her confirmation. Butler, although glad they were being so security concious for once, thought it said something about the man that he allowed himself to be bossed about by a pre-teen girl. But then again, the niece and little sister of Blue Diamonds was not your ordinary pre-teen girl.

"Is it really you though?"

"Yes, Jules."

"Because I only see five heat signatures in the car and unless you stole the taxi, which, knowing you guys..."

"Uncle's still at the hospital."

"What? Is he ok? No, wait. You still have to answer the question."

"Yes?"

"What's our middle name?"

"Yours?"

"Ours."

"Juliet..." Butler warned.

"Say it!"

"Sashca," her brother muttered.

"OK," Juliet said. "You can let them in..."

"Who's Sashca?" Little Artemis asked as the gates opened.

"Not who," Butler explained over his shoulder. "What. It was the cue word - the answer to the security question. Which I will now have to change."

"Oh, I see. Very clever," Mr. Fowl said approvingly. He was often surprised by the lengths the Butlers went to to keep them safe, and this was just another one for the list.

"Simple, really, Father," Artemis Junior said. "An elementary security protocol any good security team would put in place to avoid letting imposters into the grounds by mistake. Simple, but perhaps brilliant."

"Of course it is my little genius," Artemis Senior ruffled his son's hair. Angeline beamed at the father-son interaction she knew her little boy longed, but dare not ask, for.

Butler watched the exchange in the review mirror with a small smile on his face. Moments like this were few and far between nowadays and he had a feeling that one day Artemis Senior would regret that.

The gates opened and after the long driveway, the taxi pulled up at the front house. As Butler paid the driver it suddenly clicked in his bashed cranium where he recognised the man from and he half-felt sorry for not realising earlier. The journey could have been much more amusing. Then again, he was thankful enough that the driver had got them back safe with the perils of the road to watch out for. The story might have been different if he'd realised he had a peril in the cab to be wary of too.

"Hey, don't I know you?" the taxi-driver asked as he took the money.

Butler looked at him and grinned the sort of grin a shark would give a swimmer and the man shivered at the memory of the the truth behind the story he told his children about one dark night when he had given a vampire a lift and met twin Frankenstein monsters.

"I doubt it," the bodyguard said, indicating the driver should move on without another word. He did so, a little speedily, flicking up gravel into the grass that would play havoc with the lawnmowers later. Butler watched until the gates close behind the car, then turned back to the manor just in time to see Juliet thundering down the front steps towards him with all of her usual lack of decorum.

She leapt from a ridiculously high step and landed on the gravel, tripping in typical 'almost-got-it-right-this-time' Juliet fashion. Butlers reactions, although dimmed by fatigue, were still fast enough to perform his big-brotherly duties and he dropped to his knees, catching her before she face-planted on the ground.

"Woah," he said as he steadied her. "Chill out."

"Are you OK?" she panted.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She hugged him hard, snuggling into his bloodied jumper and scrubbing her hand over the stubble that was starting to grow in on his head and face. He stood up and scrubbed the gravel-muck off the knees of his jeans - not that it made much of a difference.

"Good. Now can we go and see Uncle?"

"Blimin' heck Jules," Butler laughed, spinning her round with a hand on the top of her head and walking up the stairs behind the Fowls. "Give me half a break, will you? I've only just got back."

"You're both free to visit the hospital whenever you like until The Major returns," Mr. Fowl told them as he and the others made their way into the manor.

"Thank-you Mister Fowl, sir," Juliet piped politely.

"It's the least I can do, Juliet," he said, with more warmth than he had deemed to use on anyone other than his wife and son for a long time.

The staff welcomed their employers and Harvey from security gave Butler a nod which was returned in thanks for not allowing the manor to explode during the rare absence of Blue Diamonds. Others stared where Juliet had not batted and eyelid, the state of the attire of the returners, the blood, the bruises, the stitched. Butler wondered if it was a bad thing that his sister hadn't seemed to think any of the above had been serious enough to worry about. But no, she was a Butler and to worry about a few scrapes was a waste of space in her head that could be used for thinking about other things. For Juliet, those other things were already starting to take on a bodyguarding theme.

"How'd you get on with that Beretta?" he asked her.

"Uh..." Juliet clasped her hands together and swung her arms guiltily.

"Juliet..." her brother growled. "If I have to pay for another plasterer, it is coming out of your pocket money, little miss."

"Don't call me that," Juliet pouted. "And I didn't blow up nothing!"

Double negative, Butler thought. Hopefully accidental.

"But...?" he asked aloud.

"But I decided to use the Sig Sauer instead," she mumbled. "I know uncle said to use the Beretta but I like the Sig better and you guys have them so..."

"Did you shoot it?" Butler skipped to the important part.

"Nope. Didn't need to."

"Good," Butler said with an undertone of relief.

"Then will you teach me how to shoot it properly so Uncle'll let me use it?" she asked hopefully.

"Alright," her brother smiled. It could never be a bad thing to have his little sister to know how to use a gun. Or at least not if she knew how to use a gun correctly.

"Now?" she said excitedly and he could tell she was already mentally upstairs, retrieving the precious weapon from under her pillow.

"Later, OK?" he said tiredly.

"Oh yeah," Juliet said, slapping her head as though she had forgotten something. "After we go see Uncle, right?"

"Do I get to get a shower first?" Butler muttered.

Juliet considered him critically, head on one side. "Well, you do smell a bit."

"That's a yes, I take it."

The two Butlers walked down the hospital corridor. Despite the size and age difference, it was clear that they were family. They both had the same look about them. Not shifty, not nervous, but hyper-alert. Any squeak of shoe, any clink of change in a pocket and their heads turned in unison. Juliet would learn in the future that if her partnering guard looked at something, she should look anywhere else but there. Not only to reduce suspicion, but to ensure that they were not caught out by a distraction. As it was, the elder Butler was functioning as if he was guarding his little sister, but having her copy his every move was more endearing than annoying.

"Will Uncle be awake, brother?" Juliet meant to say in Russian. They had signed in at the desk and she was playing the little sister of Stefan Bashkir. She thought the whole thing was brilliant. Butler just hoped that the hospital hadn't found a Russian translator. If they had, 'Sascha Bashkir' would just have to pretend to be extremely shy, or a mute. Her Russian wasn't quite up to scratch.

"You just said 'will aunt be asleep, mother?'," her brother muttered in English.

"Well I tried," she humphed.

"You'll get better at it. And I don't know."

"What about the guy you battered?"

"Jules..." Butler warned, cautious of being overheard.

"What... the man you... hit?" she said in broken Russian.

Butler snorted. If he was honest, no-one would be listening to them anyway. He resorted to their native language, knowing she would never be able to translate what he said. "I didn't batter him, Jules, if anything, it was mutual battering."

"Arty said you battered him."

"Really?"

"Well no, but he did say that you 'dealt with him', which I think in Arty-ish means that you beat the shi..."

"Juliet!" Butler warned. "Yes, I knocked him out once but if it wasn't for uncle he'd have blown my brains out on the floor."

"Somebody beat you?"

Something buried not-so deep within Butler snarled furiously at that. Especially at the accusation of his little sister.

No, it growled. He. Didn't. Win. Nobody wins.

"Not if you count me coming out alive as being beat."

"Then no," she said simply. "Good. Because no-one beats my big brother up or I beat them up."

Butler shook his head and laughed. "Well then he's in there - look."

Juliet peeked through the window and waved brightly at Carker, who looked at her, thoroughly confused.

"Well he looks pretty well duffed up to me."

"Well then you can congratulate uncle for that. He's the reason that guy's chest looks like a sieve."

The pair entered the room to find their uncle asleep. At least he was, until the door creaked and he practically leapt out of the bed, wincing at the pain it caused his stitches.

"Hey Uncle," Juliet said, jumping onto the end of the bed. "Ya pleased to see me?"

The Major grunted non-committally, sitting up slower and more gingerly. Despite the twinge to his abdomen, he felt better much then yesterday already. Butler had managed to convince his sister to wait a whole day before dragging him back to the hospital to visit their uncle, so the man had had a fair night's sleep and was already pestering to go home as soon as possible - much to the nurses' disapproval.

"How are you?" Juliet persisted. "Dom said that the guy next door is your fault."

"Juliet," Butler groaned, for more than one reason, locking the door and pulling over a chair to sit by the bed.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Butler sighed, holding up a finger. "Number one, the name thing."

"No one's here," she rolled her eyes.

"Still young lady, it pays to get into the habit," The Major said sternly. "How are the Fowls? Artemis?"

"All fine. I bumped into him on the way out, actually. He was in here but only overnight. He's been to see you and sends his best."

The Major nodded, seeming pleased, but more likely it was about the safety of his charge than his well-wishes.

"Now, what's this about the man next door. It's not Drake, is it?" he barked a laugh.

Ah shit. OK, that one's my fault, Butler thought. He should have warned Juliet to keep her mouth shut.

"Erm..."

"Boy?" The Major growled, repeating the question. "It's not Drake, is it?"

"Well... yes, actually," his nephew admitted sheepishly.

"What?"

"Don't worry about it..."

"Huh. Like I'd be worried about that complete..." The Major interrupted irritatedly.

Butler butted back in,"I don't know what Missus Fowl did, but Carker and Artemis are on speaking terms and well, they promise not to kill or steal off eachother for the foreseeable future."

"Huh," The Major repeated. "I'll believe that when I see it."

"That's what I thought," Butler said. "But they seem to mean it. Besides, Drake's not going anywhere for a while and Carker was practically in tears when he thought he was dead. I'm pretty sure he'll drop the issue."

"Just a shame he isn't..." The Major muttered. "How am I supposed to sleep now knowing he's next door?"

"I wasn't expecting you to have to sleep in here more than a few nights," Butler smirked.

"Shut your trap. It doesn't look like I have much of a choice if I want my insides to stay just that," The Major grumbled. "You haven't got a spare gun you could leave with me, have you?"

"I don't think the docs will take kindly to that."

"Sorry Uncle," Juliet grinned. "But you could take him on barehanded any day. Even with your stomach hanging out. Hey - can I see your stitches? Dom showed me his on his arm and I reckon you did a good job. They're not yellow or pussing out or anything. Can I see yours? Can I?"

The Major sighed exasperatedly. "If you must."

"Cool!"

The little family sat and spoke for a while, until finally a beeper on the middle Butlers' watch went off.

"Right, time to go."

"Wait a minute, where are the Fowls?" The Major said, guilty for not asking earlier. He had asked if they were safe, just not of their whereabouts.

"Home. Security's watching them," Butler told him, a little reluctantly.

"Good Lord boy, what have I told you about that team?"

"They do their best Uncle," Juliet piped up. "It's not their fault they ain't Butlers."

"Even so. You better get back to them before..."

"They blow up the manor or something?" Juliet grinned.

"Something like that," The Major said. He sounded annoyed, but his mouth twitched in a smirk.

"See you tomorrow, Uncle," Juliet said, hugging him. She kissed his forehead, then polished it with her sleeve and laughed at his sigh of annoyance.

"See you tomorrow," Butler nodded, not repeating the whole 'hugging' gesture.

"Yes, when hopefully they'll let me out of here with some painkillers," The Major muttered. "Maybe I'll have to prove to them I'm fine by accidently killing my neighbour."

The three laughed and Juliet unlocked and opened the door,checking the corridor for threats almost perfectly.

"Not bad, but if there had been a man opposite he'd have had your head off," The Major pointed out. "Check through the window first next time."

Juliet growled in annoyance, but repeated the exercise and grinned at the following praise.

"Well done," The Major nodded. "Oh and boy?"

Butler was beginning to think that he might as well just start calling himself 'boy', but he knew it was only The Major's way of calling him something other than 'Dom' with being so formal as to call him 'Butler'.

"You see that my car gets seen to."

"Yes uncle," Butler rolled his eyes. "She's in the garage as we speak. And I got all your gear back off the police too."

"Good lad," The Major said, settling back down.

Butler watched him from the door. His uncle deserved a break. Just a shame it had to be under life threatening circumstances before the man was forced to admit he could do with a lie down.

Hypocrite, he knew The Major would say.

And so, as he and Juliet headed back to Fowl Manor, Butler could muster a smile on his face.

Considering the last 48 hours, things could be a whole lot worse.

THE PROPER EPILOGUE

In the next few months several things happened.

Both The Major and Drake made full recoveries - much to eachother's chagrin.

Artemis Fowl Senior and James Carker set up a small corporation together valuing diamonds. They never met face to face, dealing with their issues entirely electronically to avoid any serious arguments... or the rematch their bodyguards were itching for an excuse for. They returned most of the originals that came in... but criminality proved harder to shake than Angeline had hoped and a few owners were sent home with nothing more than identical copies of their evaluated stones with less than a tenth of their worth. But it was a start.

Mickey and Travis both recovered, the former giving the latter a stern and well-earned 'I told you so'. They mutually decided that dealings with powerful criminals was more out of their league than they had originally thought and took up jobs at the same nightclub as doormen, giving Travis the ideal opportunity to work on his manners and Mickey a job where others could help to make sure his unruly brother stayed in line.

The paramedic and the nurse that were brave enough to treat the Butlers went on with their jobs. Dan saving countless more lives as the years went by and Margaret patching up yet more 'strapping young lads' because, well, boys will be boys.

And, showing a side of him that would eventually win true in the future, a certain crimelord sent a letter to the owner of one 'Skylight Restaurant' with a cheque for its complete rebuild. Under one condition - there was to be a break room built in for the staff that could be described as a small-scale casino. And the owner was to tell a certain moustachioed waiter that a man named 'Tim' sent his best regards.

A donation was also sent to the police station with a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates thanking them for their help and enclosing enough money for a new garden design to replace the one the Bentley had ploughed through.

And as for the car, by the time The Major returned from hospital a week later, it was standing proudly and completely in its rightful place in Fowl Manor's garage. Butler had paid for it to be repaired at a ridiculous speed and quality - costing a hefty chunk of his salary - but it was worth it.

"Seems you own most of her now," The Major joked, inspecting the panel repairs and nodding approvingly at the handiwork.

Butler grunted, not looking up from the workbench where he was meticulously cleaning the Sig Sauer that Juliet had been learning to use earlier that day.

"You can pay me back if you want."

"No thanks, m'boy," The Major laughed. "But I tell you what, when you finally do get rid of me for good, you can have her."

"Then I don't want it until it's a flippin' rust bucket that won't move," Butler said seriously, scowling and glancing over for the response.

"She," The Major amended. "The car's a she."

And although that was all that was said on the matter and The Major left soon after to catch up on his security checks, clapping his nephew on the shoulder on the way out, both were glad that day hadn't come yet.

Well, alls well that ends well, or something along those lines... although that wouldn't fit in the chapter title box so I had to think up something else... ah well :D

I know it was short but hopefully it's tied up all the loose ends but if I've missed anyone please let me know and I'll let you know basically :)

Kinda a bit of *shameless-self-advertising-alert* going on in this chappie. As in the Sascha thing came from one of my stories (kinda a crack-fic compared to what I normally do but ho-hum).

And also, the ending is kinda hinting at what I hope to write my next big fic on, although it's like feast or famine with me so it could a while before my next one finds it's way onto FanFic.

So far I have the ideas, it's just going to take a bit to get them all down for other people to look at. I can only promise I'll start writing it and then you'll probably get the entire thing over the duration of a week in about 6- 12 months time... that'll have to do. Most of you know what I'm like.

All I can say now is thanks to everyone for all the reviews, favs, adds etc of both this fic and me and THANKSHU all the amazing praise, enthusiasm and encouragement that came with them.

For all of that, Thank You.

I'm gonna miss having my inbox filled with reviews and everything...

Until next time,

Wolfy
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