-Still There-

While we look down, some cry, but

I'm

just standing there

awkwardly. You remember,

how much

I hated being by your folks? They

still scare me. But right now, they're not that

scary. They're just… sad.

I keep

listening

to what the guy is saying, but

it's like he's speaking in a different language. Because

you're not gone, right? No, you

are. But not all

the way, no, you never will be.

I know I don't look the same. You're probably watching me

from up there-

what has he done with his hair?

I bet you're laughing. Go ahead,

Courtney. Laugh

your ass off.

You deserve to

have the last laugh.

Princess, do you still want me here? I not sure anyone

else here does.

I'm gonna go, but wait. They're about to close the casket.

… I can't go yet.

I almost touched you

but that doesn't seem right. It's been too

long.

Do you still have that skull I made? I'm

so sorry.

I have to go now, Court. I…

This is the end, isn't it? I was really hoping maybe I'd

wake up.

We miss you. I miss

you.

I need

you. I'm sorry I

never had the guts to tell you

but I do.

Just wake up! You aren't gone

because you just aren't!

You can't leave

me

alone

like this.

Maybe we haven't spoken in close to forever

but that doesn't change the fact that

I would give the moon

to see you scrunch your nose

insult me

smile

giggle

cry

do something

and come back.

I never meant to say those things

I never meant to be that way

and I'm sorry.

But

it's not enough to bring you back.

Just not enough to say

I

love

you.

Not anymore.