A Small Matter

The Gumshoe and Maggey drama had started a long long time ago, and it had become routine for the other detectives, officers and even a few foolish prosecutors to chuckle and gossip about the two 'not-quite-but-nearly' couple.

Franziska was not one of these prosecutors. To her it was mildly irritating and frustrating when she saw the two talk nervously to each other. She just wanted to whip some sense into them both and tell them to hurry their foolish selves up.

"Sir!" Gumshoe stuttered, the microwave in the precinct's staffroom beeping as his pot noodle had finished cooking, "What, uh, are you doing in the staffroom? Is my break over?"

He was stuck between taking out his lunch and keeping his eyes on Franziska. She glared at him, and he quickly turned to take it out, pulling off the lid and stirring the contents. Thankfully he wasn't whipped.

"No." Franziska said, "I've been patient, Scruffy, but you should know by now my patience doesn't last long. Because of your affections for Ms. Maggey Byre - "

Gumshoe gagged on his noodles at this point; she didn't half beat around the bush. Franziska ignored him and continued.

" - you are behaving more incompetent than usual – which I can say is quite a feat – but it has got to the point where that foolish piece of plywood that is wriggling outside the front entrance would make a better subordinate than yourself."

"That's the Blue Badger, sir - " Gumshoe felt the need to correct, and Franziska whipped him.

"I don't care." She said, holding her whip taunt above her head, "I want you to stop with this foolishness. Either confess to the woman, or keep your affairs private and turn from completely useless to merely incompetent."

Gumshoe chuckled, "Awh, sir, that's almost like a compliment from youuuuu - !"

Another lash of the whip cut through the air and onto his shoulder. She stared at the pathetic lump that was Gumshoe with narrow eyes.

"Tell her how you feel, or I will tell her for you." Franziska said, "That is not a threat."

"Awh, Ms. Von Karma, you can't ruin it like that!" The chief of police whined later on when she informed him of how she was going to get rid of the office's main source of entertainment, "It's funnier to see it play out!"

"This is a police force." Franziska stressed, "Not high school. You should all start acting more professionally."

Gumshoe turned to face her direction when Maggey walked over to him and began making small talk about something foolish. Franziska waited with her arms folded. She had never spent so long in the precinct, especially seeing as she only came down to pick up an autopsy report that Gumshoe was meant to deliver to her an hour ago. I wouldn't have to put up with such foolishness back at the Prosecutors' office...

The scruffy detective sheepishly scratched the back of his neck at something Maggey said, turning to look at Franziska one more time, before hastily making his retreat.

If the fool can't do it himself...

Franziska strode determinedly over to Maggey, despite the chief of police's pleas to leave it alone.

"Ms. Maggey Byrde." Franziska said. Gumshoe hadn't walked too far away when he heard her voice and froze, turning around and watching the scene with his mouth open. Maggey saluted her.

"Ms. Von Karma!" Maggey said cheerfully, "What do you need me for, sir?"

"I need to tell you something." Franziska replied, "It's concerning - "

Unfortunately the middle of her sentence "Detective Gumshoe's - " was lost as Gumshoe was so distracted in hurrying back over to the two off them, he managed to walk straight into one of the officers who was carrying back a hot cup of coffee, causing a howl from the hapless detective as the contents burnt through his shirt. Maggey's fingertips touched her lips in worry, recalling the amount of times she had done the same thing herself.

" - feelings for you."

"Um excuse me sir, but what was that you said?" She asked as Gumshoe bumbled over.

"Sir, please don't say anything." He pleaded, wiping at the stain on his shirt while keeping his eyes on the prosecutor, "I know how you feel about this, but I - "

"Scruffy!" Franziska interrupted, effectively silencing him, the poor detective looking like a struck dog, "Ms. Byrde. Do you know how I feel about you and this fool?"

Maggey bit her lip as she glanced at Gumshoe, who was determindly staring at the floor and not at Maggey, "No, sir..."

"It is very frustrating to watch you both and how you act together. I know you might not feel the same way, but I have to let you know that - "

"Maggey doesn't feel the same way, sir!" Gumshoe cut in desperately, "Please can we just talk about this in private - "

"Scruffy you should follow my example and stop fooling around the subject." Franziska stated, "Like this: 'Ms. Byrde. I have recently developed romantic feelings for you, and I wish for us to be in a relationship.'"

Maggey stared at Gumshoe for a moment, giving him a confused look. Gumshoe merely flushed and looked away. Franziska folded her arms and closed her eyes, tapping a finger on her forearm.

"See? It's really not all that difficult. Now, Ms. Byrde... what do say? Do you feel the same way?"

"I... uhm, sir?" Maggey said, suddenly flustered, "Do I feel the same?"

"That's what I said." Franziska replied, wondering why everyone always felt the need to be embarrassed over small trifles like this, "It's not like I said anything difficult for you to understand."

"Well, it does make things kind of difficult...sir." Maggey replied, looking at the floor, her face flushed, "I kind of already have feelings for Detective Gumshoe... and I don't really swing that way anyway..."

It took a couple of moments for Franziska to process what Maggey meant. Her mind went blank and she could vaguely hear Gumshoe's hurried outcry, asking if she meant it, that he felt the same way, that he was glad it wasn't just him -

Wait... what? 'Swing that way...?'

It occurred to her in a instant, and she couldn't help a flush appearing bright on her cheeks.

"I'm not -! That's not what I meant!" She exclaimed loudly, "I was speaking from Gumshoe's perspective!"

Maggey turned from Gumshoe's embrace (when had did they start doing that?) to give her an understanding look, "It's all right, sir. I'm sure you'll find the right woman for you one day!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you will, sir!" Gumshoe added enthusiastically, "Ho-ho-ho, I never knew you swung that way either, sir!"

"That's because I don't!" Franziska seethed, "You foolish excuse for a fool, you knew I was speaking from your perspective! I was telling you what to say!"

The newly made couple nodded their heads in an infuriating 'we understand' gesture, while Franziska knew they didn't understand – while she tried to regain her senses and speak properly one of the officers awkwardly coughed, holding out a phone for her.

"I have a call from an 'Adrian Andrews' for you, sir." He said, holding the phone as if it was going to bite him, wanting to create as much distance between him and the prosecutor as possible.

Franziska sent a glare towards the three, snatching the phone from him.

"Ms. Andrews, I will call you back later."She said quickly, turning back to the others. Scruffy was grinning widely, right until Franziska whipped him with a glare on her face.

"Send the autopsy report to Miles Edgeworth. I have more important matters to attend to regarding your salary."

With that she strode out of the doors, though when Gumshoe felt a hand reach out and clasp his own, a small matter of his salary didn't seem important.