Summary: Merlin learns a new magic trick….Arthur is not impressed.

Pairings: Some implied Merthur.

Merlin was nervous.

In the last few weeks his magic had been revealed, he and Arthur fought dreadfully, he and Arthur made up (with tearful knights watching on as they hugged it out), he and Arthur repealed the laws on magic, and he was now suddenly being made Court Sorcerer and was expected to give the Court a speech.

It was rather nerve-wrecking.

Normally, Merlin could talk for Camelot, everyone knew that, it was expected to hear him rambling on and on awhile winding Arthur up, but the idea of talking to all of these stuffy lords and ladies about something so important made Merlin's tongue shrivel up in despair.

"Relax you big girl's blouse," Arthur rolled his eyes when he found Merlin pacing up and down the hallway anxiously muttering his speech under his breath. "I've done it hundreds of times before. It's easy."

"Easy for you to say!" Merlin snapped, agitated, "you grew up doing this!"

Arthur looked smug for a moment but one look at Merlin's even paler than usual face and he softened a touch. "I share you a trade secret Merlin," he said as he gave Merlin a manly, comfortingly, slap on the back before he leaned in close. "You picture them naked," he whispered into Merlin's ear quickly before he pulled back hastily.

"What?!" Merlin yelped

"You heard me," Arthur said flatly. "When I deliver a speech I picture my audience naked.

"What even at the council?"

"Yes."

Merlin shuddered at the thought of all of those naked, shrivelled, wrinkly, old men including -

"In front of your father?" Merlin gasped.

"Yes."

"At your coronation?"

"Yes."

"Even at your wedding?"

"Especially then," Arthur said emphatically, "I was really nervous that night."

Merlin smirked as he couldn't resist teasing Arthur. "So let me get this straight you were picturing me naked on your wedding night?" he grinned.

"Ye- what?!" Arthur cried out horrified. "No!" Merlin snickered at that as Arthur glowered at him. "Oh grow up, Merlin!"

Merlin would have said something that would have annoyed Arthur even more but Geoffrey came out and reminded them that the Court was getting restless. After being fussed over by Arthur like a little child by his mother and receiving one more slap on the back with a muttered 'you'll do fine', Merlin was sent out to deliver his speech.

He stumbled and staggered out in front of the thrones and took one look at the overdressed, stuffy, disapproving, lords and ladies, and gulped immediately.

Picture them naked.

Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he imagined these people looking smaller and more pathetic with no silk embroidered with gold thread clothes on. He felt a little calmer as he slowly opened his eyes again and smiled at the crowd.

(Unbeknownst to him the moment he opened his eyes they flashed gold and everyone's clothes made a loud ripping noise.)

"Lords and Ladies I – whoa!" he interrupted himself as he took in the sight of all the naked people. He could have done without seeing how many older men in Court had sagging skin or how many women had dropping breasts but as always the younger ladies and men were a treat to the eyes apart from the odd disfiguring birthmark or wart. "I have a really good imagination."

"Merlin, you blithering idiot!" A naked, red in the face, furious Arthur bellowed. "You literally undressed us with your eyes!" Arthur yelled crossly. "What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Merlin's eyes involuntarily flickered up and down Arthur's form. It was nothing he hadn't seen before and it was utterly gorgeous as always but Merlin was really incapable of resisting one last jab at Arthur. "Oh wow," he grinned, "you really were overcompensating for something."

"STOCKS!"