Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

Sam's POV

I love big forks. The bigger the fork, the more meat you get. That's why wherever I go, my big fork comes too. I can get as much meat as I can, without ruining my fingers. Then again, I like the feeling of eating ribs with my fingers. Who eats ribs with a fork? Also, the bigger the fork, the better the weapon. If you make me mad, I can just stab you with my big fork. It's a very useful utensil.

So there I was, in the Shay's apartment, eating their ham with my big fork. Carly has a big fork, too. That's the one that I used before I ordered my bigger one. It's the biggest model they had, but I hope they make a bigger one someday. Hopefully...

Anyways, I was eavesdropping on Carly and Freddie's conversation as I shoved the delicious honey-baked ham into my mouth.

"Carly, coconuts are way better than pineapples" Freddie said passionately , obviously strongly into this heated debate. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help smiling as I did. Freddie may have been my ex, but he's still my best frenemy.

Carly, my best friend, didn't seemed moved by Freddie's statement.

"Coconuts are gritty, Freddie," she debated, "and nowhere near as sweet and refreshing as a pineapple."

Freddie wasn't convinced. "Coconuts have milk and fruit in them, serving as a whole meal, while all pineapple does is burn your tongue."

"Oh yeah? Well, pineapples-"

"Will you two just get a grip!" I interjected. "Both are good, so does it really matter? Seriously, if you're gonna fight over something so stupid, you might as well record it for iCarly!" They both looked at each other, then burst out laughing. I joined in, hoping they were laughing at their stupidity, and not at me.

Spencer bounced in, eager to hear what was so funny. He took one look at us laughing, then joined in. That made us all laugh harder. Gibby walked in from the bathroom, and of course he started laughing too. We all stopped and stared at him. Gibby looked offended.

"What? All I did was laugh!" He cried out.

"Your laugh is annoying." I spat, making his offended face even sadder.

"I'm just a Gibby!" he pointed out. Carly giggled.

Ping! "Who got a text?" I asked, staring sadly at my now useless big fork. I missed my ham. Freddie checked his phone. "It's from Patrice. Looks like she wants to give our relationship another try." He smiled flirtatiously. I couldn't help feeling a pang in my heart when he said that. Even though we put our relationship on hold, it still made me mad when he flirted with other girls. Seriously, the second we made our breakup official, about five girls asked Freddie out. All of which who were seriously dumb and prissy. Really, Freddie? You date a girl like me for a couple of weeks, then you go to prisses? I just don't get it. A lot of iCarly's Seddie fans have asked me if I still have feelings for him. I deny it, of course. But when I think about it, am I really over him? Probably not, but no one needs to know that.

Spencer smiled at Freddie's text. "Maybe she wants you to do that vampire voice thingy." he teased.

Freddie laughed. "Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't." Carly and I rolled our eyes at his cheesy vampire voice. Ping! I groaned. "What does she want now, Fredweird?" Freddie smirked at me. "That was your phone." I checked my phone, and sure enough he was right. It was a text from my mom, that said: Come to the Groovy Smoothie, there's someone you should meet.

"It's from my mom." I said. "I gotta go." Everyone smiled at me. "What?" I asked.

Freddie smirked at me again. "Good luck." Carly burst out laughing, and Gibby joined in.

"Nyeah!" I spat.

"Nyeah!" he replied. I rolled my eyes and slammed the door as I left.

I walked into Bushwell Plaza's lobby, after getting off the elevator. I made sure I grabbed a newspaper before I did. Don't get me wrong, I hate the news, but I had bigger priorities for this paper. I glanced at the headlines, which were either about death or marriage. Lame. This is why the news is for old people.

Casually, I balled up the paper while glancing at Lewbert, the snotty doorman with the hideous wart on his face. I used my incredible aim to whip the newspaper ball right at his ugly face. The ball hit him right on the wart.

"Aghhhhaghgrrr!" Lewbert screeched, shaking his fist at me. I laughed and ran outside to get to the Groovy Smoothie.

Truthfully, I was embarrassed to be seen there with my mom. Pam Puckett can make any moment obnoxious. Of course she wanted to meet at the most popular teen hangout it Seattle. I looked at my surroundings. It was a beautiful day, warm and breezy, with all the nubs riding bikes everywhere. Perfect weather to be brought down by my mom and some freak she wanted me to meet.

I opened the door to the Groovy Smoothie, hearing the familiar ding! the door always makes when someone comes in. I scanned the colorful building for my mom. I finally spotted her sitting with some guy in an army suit with a blonde crew cut. As I walked over to them, I glared at the teens hanging around, as if to say, "Laugh, and see what happens."

I sat on the only empty seat, which was across from my mom and the stranger. I glanced down at the smoothie in front of me. "Who's is this?" I asked. "Yours." Mom replied. "Blueberry Blitz, your favorite, right?" I couldn't believe she remembered. I tried it just to make sure it wasn't puke or something. Surprisingly, it was perfect.

Mom was the first to speak. "Sam, I don't know how to tell you this..." I stared at her. Why is she being so serious? So mature? This was starting to get weird. My mom usually tells it as it is and laughs at your reaction. This guy must be sueing us. That had to be it.

The man reached out a strong hand. "Hello Sam. My name is Don." I cautiously shook it, examining him as I did. He was really muscular, tan, and he had hard gray eyes. For some reason, he looked vaguely familiar.

"So, what do ya want, Don?" I asked, slurping my smoothie.

He sighed. "I just wanted to tell you that-" He was interrupted by T-bo, the Smoothie's top worker.

"Wanna buy a fruit tart?" he asked, proudly displaying his fruit tarts on a stick. Don gave him a confused look, but still said, "No thank you sir, we would not like a fruit tart."

"Wait a minute," Mom said. "I'm hungry, how much are they?" Don and I groaned as Mom did business with T-bo. I realized that we made the exact same facial expression. Weird. While Mom was stuffing her face with her fruit tarts, Don continued with what he was about to say.

"Samantha, I, uh, wow this is hard..." He let out a huge breath, then broke the news. "I'm your father."

I think I took the news well. I slurped a blueberry clump as he told me, so I choked. I coughed and sputtered like a lunatic, causing a scene.

"Aw, stop being dramatic, Sam." Mom said through bites of her tart. Don, or should I say Dad, whipped his head towards her and screamed, "Pam, can't you see she's choking?" Mom just shrugged as Dan raced towards me. He wrapped his muscular arms around me, and gave me the Heimlich Maneuver. The blueberry flew out of my mouth, hitting T-bo in the face. "That is just wrong!" he whined, running off to clean his face.

"You're my father?" I spat.

"Yes."

"But Mom said you were some punk who saw me and Melanie the day we were born then just left for no reason!" I gasped, running out of breath. Dad glared at my mother, who was trying to avoid eye contact by looking at some trucker dudes outside.

"Pam," Dad asked. "Why did you lie to her?" Mom lowered her head shamefully. That was new for my mom. She's never guilty. She told me that guilt makes you weak.

Dad looked into my eyes with fatherly concern. A look no man had ever given me, except for maybe Freddie or Spencer. He took in a deep breath, then started his explanation.

"When your mother had you and Melanie, it was a bad time for me. I had enlisted into the navy, so I had to leave. I was to go to Florida, where I would go to boot camp. Your mother didn't want me to leave, which I assume is why she made up a story that I was a 'punk'. I fought in Afghanistan for five years, then was stationed in Virginia . Now, I'm retired, so I thought I could come back to say hi."

I didn't trust him. Who did he think he was, having no contact with me then suddenly just showing up? There had to be a catch. I just couldn't figure that part out. I glanced at Mom for any movement to show that he was lying, but there was only shame on her face.

"Who are you really?" I blurted. "C'mon, let's be real, my mother would never date a soldier!" I laughed at their prank. Mom simply rolled her eyes. "I wasn't always into 'punks', Sam. Now, do you want me to do a blood test for you two?" "No!" I replied angrily. I turned towards my father, and realized why he looked so familiar. He looked like Melanie. Since Melanie is my twin, that means he looked like me. I groaned. There was no way my dad could be a veteran. No way.

"Okay, fine, you're my father." I grumbled. "Why did you come here?"

Dad's face was serious. "I heard that you are a, well, a delinquent. So, I talked to your mother, and she said it was okay..."

"Wait!" I interjected. "What did you talk to her about?" I whipped towards my mom. "What is he talking about?"

Dad cleared his throat. "In precisely two weeks, you will move with me to Miami, where I recently bought a house. I thought I could finally settle down, and you could get a good education like Melanie."

Anger boiled inside me. He was trying to take me away! No way was I going to let that happen.

"And what if I say no?" I asked my father.

"You don't have a choice, Samantha." he said. "You are underage to make your own decisions, and your mother and I have agreed on this. That is final." he added sternly.

I looked at both of my parents. They dared drag me away from the only people in my life that haven't let me down the way they did. So, I did the only reasonable thing left to do. I ran out of the Groovy Smoothie, with no idea where I was going, only wanting to get as far away as possible from reality.

Well, that was the first chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! More to come soon.

$Pepper1622$