A/N: So I'm an attorney, not a clinical psychologist, but its unbelievably apparent to me that Quinn has been going through the Five Psychological Phases of Grief over giving her child up for the past season and a half. What perturbs me more than anything though is the fact that people choose to hate on the poor girl, saying she is evil and Shelby and Puck are innocent bystanders on her rampage to steal her daughter back. In actuality, I think Quinn is a sad, scared, depressed, angry, hurting, vulnerable and insecure high school girl who had to make a huge decision for her baby and is finally now getting close to hitting rock bottom. She gave up her child, that is not something that just goes away or one can forget about easily. And while I dont think she is going about it the right way, I can certainly say, as someone who has unfortunately been in her position before, giving your child up for adoption hurts like hell and always will leave you with regrets and "what if" questions. I dont condone her actions, but I can say I understand where she's coming from.

So I'll get off my soap box and let you read. It is my take on Quinn going through the 5 Stages of Grief when one mourns the loss of something or someone, and I tried to stay as true to the story line as possible. I will warn you that there may be some spoilers in the Depression and Acceptance chapters, but then again maybe not. I'm not a psychic after all, the writers do what they want...and sometimes I want to smack them for it too. Enjoy and let me know what you think, please!

The Five Stages of Quinn Fabray

Denial

Denial? Nah, she's not in denial.

She did what was best for her daughter by giving her up. Even if it hurts like hell to kiss her goodbye and leave her at the hospital, she knew it was for the best. That's why it pissed her off when people told her she was in denial over what happened. Her mom, Rachel, Finn, Tina, Ms. Pillsbury, everybody.

Except for Puck.

He hadn't said anything, simply staring off into the distance and trying not to make eye contact as they walked out of the nursery and OB ward at the hospital.

She noticed his hand trembling as he signed his name on the adoption form, but she wouldn't admit her hand was shaking even worse when she signed hers. She would be surprised if her name was even legible with how badly she was shaking.

But that was in the past. As was the fateful summer afterwards, when simply looking at him made her heart ache, his gentle features, soft smile and beautiful chocolate eyes reminding her so damn much of the little girl they gave up. She couldn't stand it. Every time she saw him, she was reminded of that perfect little pink bundle. She couldn't do it anymore.

So she broke ties with him. They broke up and went their separate ways, both hoping they would eventually heal and move on.

But that was easier said than done.

No matter what she did, no matter what she tried to tell herself, the hole in her heart never healed. If anything, it actually got worse. She couldn't look at herself in the mirror the same way anymore either, disgusted with the image that looked back at her.

She tried to tell herself it would just take time. If she got her life back in order and got everything that she had lost back from the previous year, she would be ok.

So that's what she did. The rest of the summer, she worked her ass off. Literally and figuratively. Running, weights, the works, just trying to get back into shape for Cheerio's try-outs. Of course she had a back-up plan, complete with an offer from the church her mother and her went back to that following summer, an offer that would boost the Cheerio's budget by quite a bit if Quinn agreed to appear at a few "reformed Christians" meetings and tell her story about how she found Jesus again.

Sue had no choice, letting her back on the squad and back to her position at the top of the pyramid. She was captain again, but it didn't feel like anything. Everyone around her changed their attitudes, seeing her as the Ice Queen once again, but internally, nothing had changed. She still felt empty, cold.

She thought something may happen with Puck there for a bit, the two of them making eyes at one another for a few weeks as he sang Billy Joel during glee rehearsal. But those eyes continued to haunt her, and shortly thereafter, Puck ended up getting thrown in juvie for doing something stupid…again.

But that's when she met Sam. The bleach blonde clone of herself was sweet, kind, somewhat dumb, slightly conceited (like herself) and had a perfect body. Overall, he was perfect for her.

And he was the perfect distraction.

But the kisses didn't smolder like Puck's had, and she didn't feel the same tingle in her heart and at the base of her spine when he touched her. In fact, none of it really felt right. It felt forced. She wanted it to be perfect, complete with the Cracker Jack promise ring and everything.

But it was far from perfect. And she smiled through it all, thinking this is probably what her mother had been talking about when she pointed out that "Fabray's just suck it up and tough it out, putting their freshest faces on despite the problems." She sang at sectionals with him, ignoring the glares she got from Puck as she and Sam belted out the tune. She even went to Burt Hummel and Carol Hudson's wedding with him, singing "Marry You" down the aisles. She wanted to believe it too. Really tried to talk herself into seeming excited about what she was singing, but something within her told her it wasn't quite right.

If she were honest with herself, she was a bit jealous of Santana, who went as Puck's date to the event. Watching the two of them spin around the dance floor made her feel green with envy, but part of her knew that Santana was simply doing it because she was jealous of Artie, who was spinning around the floor with Britney, so she couldn't be too upset with her friend.

Everything was fine with Sam, but it wasn't right and she felt it deep within her soul.

Then she figured out why. It was because things weren't back to normal. Things weren't the way they were before because she was with Sam instead of with Finn. That had to be it!

But she wasn't quite ready to drop the security blanket that was Sam for Finn if he didn't reciprocate the same feelings, or if there wasn't that spark there.

However, she was in luck. After their win in the championships, the big oaf decided it was a good idea to have a kissing booth, and for some reason, Sam was actually pressuring her to kiss Finn if only just to prove to him that there was nothing between Quinn and her ex. But when she kissed him, she felt that warmth, that familiarity. Not the same explosive spark she felt the first time Puck kissed her, but it was fine.

So after the mono incident and the Bieber-blowout, she and Finn got back together. It wasn't the same as before, but then again, their entire relationship was a bunch of lies, built upon false feelings, a desire for popularity and perfection, and an overwhelming need for the two of them to forget all of the resent from last year. To forget the feelings they both felt for other people last year. That they both still felt even now. She wasn't stupid, she knew he still had feelings for Rachel. He wasn't as stupid as he looked either, knowing she was still hurt from how things ended with Puck too.

But they held on and continued to delude themselves into loving each other again. Quinn wanted that prom queen title, no matter what, and she needed Finn. The perfect boyfriend, that prom queen crown. Those would certainly fill that emptiness and heaviness still burdening her heart.

Yet, when she danced with Finn at prom, she felt that same ever present heaviness, and knew it didn't feel quite right. But they continued on with the charade, pretending to love one another because it was easier to put on the front than actually confront their true feelings. By the end of the evening, she lost the crown to Kurt (good for him though) and knew she lost the boy as well.

She knew the break-up was coming even before Finn told her after Jean's funeral. It was over, and she cried. Not for the boy. Not for the break-up. Not even for Jean, sadly enough. No, she cried for the loss of the security blanket she had created for herself, thinking it covered up all of the lies and deceit but it didn't.

She had warred with herself for over a year, trying to smile through it all. But it was exhausting, the pressure of upholding all of the falsities a burden as she finally let herself go, weeping in front of her best friends. The other "popular girls." If anyone knew what it was like to hide your feelings and put on a fake front for everyone else, it was Britney and Santana.

After watching Puck fawn all over Lauren and having a little girl pow wow on their trip to New York, Quinn knew things needed to change. She couldn't keep lying to herself. The hole hadn't gone away, the hurt and sadness and loss she felt when she thought about her daughter and Puck amplified by the emotional events of the past few weeks.

She needed something different and fast. She couldn't keep deluding herself into believing that things were going to go back to normal. So instead, she'd do something completely different. Mix it up.

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