If I Weren't A Mutant…

Disclaimer - I don't own the characters, the plots, the ideas, the powers... i own nothing to do with X-Men Evolution.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened in my life if I wasn't a mutant.

I'd probably still be in Chicago, just a normal girl. Studying, doing homework, watching T.V, maybe even learning an instrument or something. You know, normal stuff.

I wonder how I'd've reacted when I discovered about mutants, if I wasn't one myself? How it would've felt to see on the T.V. people who had amazing powers.

I'd probably be jealous. But I wouldn't go all nuts on them. If I were a human, I wouldn't hate people just because they were different.

I hope.

Sometimes you never really know things about yourself.

If I weren't a mutant, what else would have happened?

Well, first off there'd be Lance. He'd still be a mutant. But we'd never have really met. He'd be in Bayville, just another one of the mutants I'd see on the news.

Then again… if I never was a mutant, maybe he wouldn't have left Chicago either? Because if I wasn't a mutant, than the x-men wouldn't have come looking for me. And Mystique wouldn't have followed them. If Mystique never found Lance, he'd probably still be in Chicago.

Next there's Kurt. If I never joined the x-men, what would've happened to him?

Well, he's my best friend. And I'm his best friend. If we'd never met… well, he's always been kinda sensitive about his looks. I'll admit he scared me at first. But after a while I got used to it. It was just the way he looked sometimes.

Scott and Jean were great to him, and they'd hang out and all that. But Kurt's a jokester, and those two are a bit more responsible. He'd go nuts if he had to hang around with them all the time. Rogue isn't exactly Miss. Social, and wouldn't have hung around with Kurt. Or anyone. Evan used to be a thrashing street skater, and he and Kurt never did have a whole lot in common. They were all friends, but they'd never all become absolute best friends. And Bobby didn't join us for months after we all began.

I was the first person who ever really understood Kurt, now I think about it. And I know how much that actually meant to him – someone who was scared of him but got over it. I think it gave him hope that maybe one day, everyone else would stop being scared of him.

I hope for that too. One day.

Next there's Scott.

He's the guy who's always trying to act all responsible and mature and all that. He's also got this competitive, macho side to him. It doesn't often show, but I think if he never got it out then he'd explode.

Actually, if he never met Lance then he'd rarely get a chance to compete with another mutant. And I've already decided that I'm the reason Lance left Chicago. So in a way, I've helped Scott a lot with that. Yippee. Probably not the only way I've helped him. I hope not, anyway.

Jean Grey. She's the kind, compassionate, optimistic one. She's like my older sister, and I'm pretty sure she thinks of me as a younger sister. If we never met, how would life be like for her?

I suppose she'd be a lot the same. Maybe. I mean, we do a lot of stuff together, but her personality was a lot the same when we first met. Except of course for the sirens. We all went nuts then. But that's an exception. If I weren't a part of the sirens, they would still have been made. I wasn't even a founder.

So Jean'd be the same if I never was a mutant, more or less.

Then there's my roommate, Rogue. She's the anti-social one, who's actually quite nice when you get her to warm up a little. Well, if we weren't roommates, she'd probably be even more anti-social. I like to think I managed to help her hang out more.

Well, I've managed to drag her out a lot.

Also, I think it comforts her to know there's some people who'll be right next to her without worrying about her sucking the life-force out. I know that she wouldn't do it to me on purpose, and she's not the type to spread gossip for fun. Good thing too, with all the secrets she knows.

Not just because I've touched her skin. Sometimes we talk into the night. You wouldn't expect Rogue to be much for girl talk and all that, but she does. She listens when I talk about Lance, and if she ever wants to talk about Gambit – or any guy –, I'd listen.

Next there's Evan.

Evan used to be the skater guy. He was so annoying at times, and he'd always clam up. I mean, Rogue can be easier to talk to about personal problems. And that's an accomplishment. He's the guy who was most bitter that no-one stood by us. Still, his powers were going nuts at the time. You can't blame him.

He didn't really let anyone close enough for them to truly effect his personality. It's more the fact that we were here for him that made him feel better. That, and the fact that I had absolutely nothing to do with when he left the X-Men, means that he probably wouldn't be much different at all if I never joined. I never went on any adventures with him in particular.

Now there's Bobby on the team.

Well, Bobby's a new guy. He joined months after the rest of us with the other new recruits, and he didn't get promoted to senior X-Man until after Evan left. I'm still not really sure how it happened. I know he stowed away on the Blackbird once or twice, and he was with us when the Brotherhood decided being heroic paid better…

Anyway, I can't really say I've had much of an effect on him either. I mean, like the others, he'd miss me if I died or something. But if I never joined, then they wouldn't be different much.

But then again, who cares? They're my friends, and I like them all just the way they are. And they like me.

The question is – if I wasn't an x-man, would there have been someone else?

No, there wouldn't have been. I mean, it's not like there were only a limited number of spaces to fill up in the mansion. The reason there were only six of us was cause there was no-one else.

Still…

If I never got that extra gene, would it have gone to someone else?

Would there be someone else who taught Kurt that just because they were afraid at first, didn't mean they'd never get over it?

Some other girl who had a huge connection with Lance despite being on opposite teams?

Someone else running around as a Bayville Siren?

Someone else who talked with Rogue into the night?

Someone else who'd be sympathetic?

Someone else who's job it was to be the younger sister?

I know it doesn't work like that. I know that if I didn't get the X-Gene, it wouldn't have automatically have gone to someone else. It's not like before I was born I called dibs on it or anything.

But still…

You know what? It's useless to try and imagine how my – or anyone else's – life could've gone differently.

This is my life.

My mutant power is a part of my life. Being an x-man is part of my life. Fighting evil is part of my life. My friends are a part of my life.

No, scratch that.

My friends are my life.