Hello again, if you still remember this story.

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This mightn't be my best and what y'all expect but it's what I've always planned it to be, so go easy on me yeah?

Oh and this is for my buddy who's been nothing but supportive and entertaining me through countless PMs. Again, not my best but I hope you'll like it and update yours soon. :)

Chapter Eighteen – Ours

Emily

My eyelids fluttered open and shut again. I took a deep sigh and stretched, feeling the muscles pull and contract.

I wake up to the same dream almost everyday.

The tangibility and realness of it was astounding. I lay on my bed recalling the dream I had. It was good. It was getting better, and it was actually real.

I lifted my hand and curled my fingers into a half closed ball, closing my eyes again, a small delightful smile breaking from my lips. Have you ever had dreams so real that you could actually feel it? You know what I mean. In the dreams, I could almost literally feel Naomi's slender fingers lace through mine, gently squeezing mine. I shut my eyes tighter, trying to recall that moment in the dream, feeling and absorbing that moment all over again. Another flash of fragmented dream flew across my mind. This time I was kissing her. Lots of kissing. Not on the lips though but all over her face, over and over. She was smiling. I was smiling. In my dreams, I was fucking ecstatic, happy, delirious.

I wriggled my back deeper into my bed, snuggling into the covers, refusing to leave my cocoon of dream-filled haze.

I had a good idea where the dreams stemmed from, obviously. Our frequent make out sessions in her house, on the sofa, on her bed; holding hands while strolling down the streets; rolling on the floor of the basketball court; you know what, I didn't even need to dream about it; I was literally living it. Dreaming about it was just the cherry on the ice cream sundae, which was already delicious.

Ever since the sleep over incident, we've been taking things slowly, rather too slow in fact. Naomi has been nothing but considerate and sweet and terribly innocent. After practically groping me that night, she has managed to keep her hands fully to herself, even during our heated make out sessions. It's like she has drawn a very thick indelible line as the boundary and stuck obstinately behind. I've got to admire her for that. I suppose I've only got myself to blame, you know, from bailing out then. I don't blame myself from running because – I knew I wasn't ready.

There were too many things I was afraid of. Physically for one, it was going to be my first and I'm just too shy with my body. I'm not sexy or confident with my body. Hell I didn't even dare to change in front of other girls in the girls' locker room. And what if Naomi took one good look at me, decided I was more ugly than her ex-girlfriend and dumped me. I believe she wasn't like that, truly, but these thoughts were stirring up a cauldron full of anxiety and worry in me.

But I've got to say, she's been really patient and understanding, keeping our relationship low because of my uncertainty. I know that has just got to say a lot and that I shouldn't doubt her. My brain is cluttered and in a mess. But after everything, I'm thankful that things work perfectly between us. All has been sunshine and rainbows. Everyday with her was an adventure. She was exciting and unpredictable and I never knew what I was going to expect. I was learning something new about her. I want to memorise her quirks, her peeves, her subtle facial expressions that told loads about her mood and thoughts. If I'd already knew all of them, I wanted to know more. I was insatiable. I want to know how is it like spending a weekend with her, waking up with her beside me everyday and eventually, what turns her on. Everything; all; entirely; unadulterated.

It isn't a bit excessively obsessive; after all, she has been the only person since I was twelve that I properly liked and that now, I think, I love.

This was one of the few rare occasions, but I was late. My body refused to wake from a really deep and long stupor of a dream that I could now barely remember. Surprisingly I slept through the cacophony my alarm clock was making and the loud sounds Katie usually made as she rummages though her wardrobe trying on a few outfits for the day. I had grumbled at her after for not waking me up but in her defense, I was totally a dead log, dead to the world, out of it. Plus it wasn't like I was really late. I was just late in meeting Naomi who usually meets me halfway and we'd walk to school. Knowing this couldn't happen today, I quickly fired her a text.

Katie left for school first and that left me enough space to sort out myself. I hurriedly took a quick shower and put on a pair of faded blue jeans and yellow tank top, topping it up with a wooly grey cardigan. Threading my fingers through my hair to loosen the damp strands at the end, I secured my hair into a ponytail with a rubber band. I took a last look at myself in the mirror. This has got to do. I dashed a few sprays of perfume before shutting the door of my room and scurried down the stairs.

Dad was sitting at the usual place at the table reading his morning paper and drinking coffee. I could hear Mom in the kitchen washing away in the kitchen.

"Morning Emily!" Dad looked up from his paper, his trademark grin on his face.

"Morning Dad, gotta run, I'm late." I huffed out shortly, reaching for a couple of slices of toast on the table and turning to leave.

"Hey kid," Dad called out to me, like he hadn't quite fully registered what all my flurry of actions were about. "You look really good today, different." He eyed me over his paper and smiled the kind of smile that almost seemed to imply a certain meaning. The thing is, I didn't even consciously "dress up" or wore something "different".

"T-thanks Dad," I stuttered unsurely.

He looked at me for a second longer and said, "Come give your old man a hug." He put down his paper and stood as I bewilderedly shuffled over. He held his arms out and enveloped me in a huge and tight hug.

I squeezed back tightly against my father's strong muscles, remembering the frequent hugs I got when I was younger and how they seem to get lesser as I grew up. I felt him gently kiss the top of my head and release me.

Suddenly rushing off to meet Naomi wasn't quite so important as this short and precious moment with my father.

"I gotta be going now." I started towards the front door.

"Yeah," he picked up his paper, looked at it briefly. "How's Naomi?" I heard him ask.

I stopped in my steps, midway through the living room. What did he mean? Why did he suddenly ask me about her? I turned around slowly, a possibly confounded and apprehensive look clouded my face.

"She's… okay? Why?"

He slowly sat down on the chair like he had all the time in the world. A sudden anxiousness grew in me. It seemed a long time before he spoke.

"She hasn't been here. Thought you girls are getting along well together eh? Thought you probably could invite her over for dinner, after all," he chuckled and added, "she promised to do some chin-ups for me."

Dad, you definitely don't know how well we get along together.

"Oh." I exhibited relief in a nervous laugh, "I'll ask her when I see her."

"Great." He turned back to his paper. "I like her, she seems like a nice girl." He said that in a way like an afterthought, quiet mumble, more to himself than to me but I caught every word.

Another kind of relief washed over me. An immense indescribable weight that I never knew shifted and slipped off my shoulders. It was then that my father's oblivious approval of Naomi was important to me. Sure he didn't know about our relationship but at least, at the very least, I know, he liked Naomi as a person. And on that day where I would tell him about us, he wouldn't hate her because of her character; he would hate her just because I chose her instead of a guy. I think this is the difference to me. I didn't choose her because she was a girl, I chose her because of her being her. I hope, it wouldn't come down to the hating part and that he could see her for her personality and see me being really happy with her.

I doubled back, almost striding over purposefully, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks Dad," I said. He looked at me with a surprised expression, not knowing what I was thanking him for.

"Have a great day love."

And with that, I bounced off to school, and my heart followed, leaping.

.

.

I met JJ, Lara, Panda and Thomas as I got to school. We were all at the lockers retrieving our books while listening to Panda's latest exciting experience complete with wild and exaggerated gestures. A few days back, I had told all of them, even Lara, about Naomi and I. The news surprised them but needless to say, all of them were ecstatic for me. Panda had demanded to know the whole story and listened to it with rapt attention while JJ had a smug and knowing look on. I indulged in most of the details, leaving out the slightly more explicit ones. The talk had turned out into a little bit of a self-searching session.

"Do you all think I'm… you know, gay?"

JJ looked thoughtfully at me, "Do you like Naomi?"

"Well yeah, I do. I like her a lot."

"More than cheese?" Panda added.

"More than cheese."

"Would you like Naomi if she was a boy?" Thomas asked.

"Erm, I think so? But I don't think I'd rather she be a boy, really."

"Do you catch yourself thinking about other girls, like fantasizing over them, or staring at they're tits or bums or you know, if you're getting hot and bothered, you think about girls in general to you know, get off and you imagine them going do – "

"JJ! Too much! And no, I don't think of girls like that!"

"Then yes you're gay," JJ concluded, "Gay for Naomi." Lara smacked him on the arm.

"You're not gay," Thomas said, "You just like Naomi for who she is and she so happens to be a girl."

"And you all are okay with that?" I had been gushing over a girl for ages and they were all cool about it. Now it feels that I've realise I've turned all lesbian without knowing.

"Why wouldn't we be? We are who we are for a lot of reasons and maybe we'll never know most of them." Thomas placed his hand over mine reassuringly, kindly. "You are still Emily to us. Our brave, funny, intelligent and caring Emily."

I smiled at Thomas, a tiny tear threatened to break out from my eye, "Thank you."

"Follow your heart Emily."

And from that, I figured I didn't have to put a label on myself. I was me.

I snapped out of my thoughts that I've momentarily stepped into when I felt my phone buzz a new text message tone.

You look wonderful today :) – Naomi

My heart fluttered instantly and I could barely conceal the slow smile that spread across my lips. I lifted my head and stood on my toes scanning around the hall, trying desperately to find that favourite shade of blonde I so loved to see. And there she was, somewhere down the row of lockers across from where I was, almost hidden by her friends but I could clearly see her face. She had a side smile on her face as she briefly looked at me while nodding along to what Freddie was talking about.

I turned my attention back to my phone, barely registering what Panda was jabbering about and fired a text back.

You always say that. – Emily

I always mean it.
I want to kiss you. – Naomi

I blushed hard and bit my lip, trying and failing to suppress another smile from blossoming because, so help me, that's exactly what I want to do to Naomi right now.

I love to see the look on your face when you read my text messages. – Naomi

Oh god. I whipped my head to look at her. Naomi's eyes were cast down, looking at her phone and completely ignoring what the rest were talking around her. She was biting her lower lip, a similar suppressed smile on her lips. She looked up and at me, our gazes colliding through a suspension of space and time. They held a continuum of feelings ranging from a simple longing and an urgency of desperate want.

Just then, I realised four pairs of eyes looking at me. JJ was smirking, Lara and Thomas were smiling knowingly, and Panda eyes were wide and round, her mouth slightly agape.

"What?" I threw a word of defense to counter the looks they were giving me.

"That Naomi?" JJ asked the obvious, the knowing smirk still on his face.

"Emsy your face's so red. What're – OOH – are you sexting?" Panda exclaimed a little too loudly.

"SHHHHH!" Three other voices shushed her in unison as Thomas clamped his hand over Panda's mouth muffling little excited squeals that were still escaping.

"No, Panda! God!" I almost shrieked, feeling my face flush again.

The four of them collectively pivoted their heads to look at Naomi as though looking at her would enlighten them on whether we were sexting. Naomi on the other hand suddenly looked like she was determinedly talking to James and ignoring the four nosey heads gawking at her.

"Stop looking!" I smacked their heads.

"Have you been makin' monkey?" I swear Panda was almost the less aggressive female version of James sometimes.

"Panda, I'm sure Emily doesn't want to talk about this," Lara interrupted kindly.

"You're right, but no! We're not – we haven't –"

My phoned buzzed again and I looked at it, totally forgetting what I was saying to them.

Meet you at the toilet. – Naomi

A flush crept up my cheeks again. I looked up again and saw the same four eyes fixed on me like they were watching an interesting scene of some primetime tv show.

"Stop it you guys." I rolled my eyes and typed a reply.

But class is about to start. – Emily

"We should be heading for English now." JJ steered us in the direction of our classroom.

Just one minute. – Naomi

"I'll catch up with you in class." I backtracked, my heart pounding in my ears as adrenaline rushed through my body at the prospect of seeing Naomi. I could never resist her.

"Where are you going? Class is going to start!" JJ yelled over the increasing distance between us.

"Just one minute!" I shouted the exact same words that got my blood all fired up.

Breaking into a small run, I pushed through the throng of students that were hindering me from quickly getting to my girlfriend. It was the isolated single toilet at the end of the hall, hidden away where no lockers were and where there were possibly less people now. I rushed towards it with the feigned urgency of someone with a stomachache.

I pulled the lever of the handle down and burst through the door, knowing it wasn't locked just like previous times. I almost swung the door into an awaiting and expectant Naomi; it was such a tiny cubicle. My left hand was pulled by her own and I just barely could flick the toilet door close with my other hand when she pulled me into her arms and crashed her lips onto mine.

It just took me half a second to respond to her flurry of hot kisses and I matched hers with equal eagerness. I fucking miss kissing her; her soft lips, her wet tongue, and the sweet minty taste of her breath. It felt achingly long since I've properly kissed her although I swear it was just yesterday.

"Fuck, I've missed you." Naomi managed to punctuate the words through breathless kisses.

I only could hum in approval, communicating my exact same sentiments as Naomi was inexorably assaulting my lips.

I raised my hand, instinctively to rest on the back of her neck but before it could place it, I suddenly remembered we hadn't locked the door. My hand took a detour course and violently swiped the empty air behind me, blindly reaching for the handle. I pulled my body back without extricating our lips, making my body slant awkwardly at some angle, the same hand straining to find the lock.

Naomi pushed me backwards and my back collided gently with the door; she pushed her hips into mine, her hands roaming freely up and down my sides setting my body instantly on fire. My hand finally connected with the lock. I fumbled ridiculously long through a mist of distractions and finally bolted it shut with a loud click.

As though the sound of the lock had snapped us from our kissing haze, Naomi slowly pulled her lips away and pushed off me, just keeping us a few centimetres apart. I sighed, completely satisfied as I opened my eyes, meeting her brilliant blue ones and a loopy grin on her face. I was pretty fucking sure I had a silly grin on my face too.

I lifted my hands and rested them on her shoulders drawing her closer to me again. I just had to feel her close to me, savour every minute with her. Naomi shuffled in towards me so that our hips were just touching each other again and wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing me flushed against the door once again. We stared into each other's eyes as though we haven't seen each other for a long time. Honestly I couldn't ever get bored staring at her.

"Stop just looking at me, we've got only one minute," I teased and Naomi chuckled in response.

"Nothing happened at home this morning I hope?" Naomi rubbed gentle circles on my back over the cardigan. Simple caring conversations; we could talk about anything.

"Nope," I shook my head, "Couldn't wake up." My fingers played with the loose strands of soft blonde hair at her nape, curling them absently around my finger.

"Good." Naomi brushed my fringe away from my eyes and gave a quick peck on my forehead. "By the way, why did your friends all look at me just now? It was quite – frightening, like I was scrutinized or something." Naomi knew I told them about us so it was no secret.

"Hmm? Oh! That was nothing – nothing at all." I flushed a little.

"Nothing?" She cocked an eyebrow, not believing me. "If it's nothing, you could tell me. Come on." She smirked and lightly jabbed her finger in my ribs.

I yelped, almost puppy-like, and made a feeble grab at her fingers. "No really, nothing! They were just being weird! Is this how you're going spend our short one minute? Tickling me!" I squirmed as she laughed and poked expertly and knowingly at my sensitive spots again. "You're horrible!"

I supposed our one minute was up long ago but we could spare a few minutes more. Just a few.

"So tell me," she pushed herself closer into me. I could smell the fresh leafy scent of her shower gel, which was causing my head to spin happily giddy.

"Alright!" I gave up and her fingers stilled. "They were – umm – they thought we were, umm… sexting." I muttered the last word as inaudibly as I could, feeling the heat on my face turn up a few notches.

A wide grin appeared and spread incandescently on her face as though she had suddenly thought of something brilliant.

"Now why would they think that?" She lowered her voice, making it go deeper and sexier and uttered into my ear. It was making my knees go weak and heart start to do somersaults. "Did you tell them someth –"

"No!" I cut in, pushing at her shoulders indignantly so that she wasn't so close. "They just thought – I didn't – we didn't – I mean – urgh!" I struggled to find words, getting my tongue tied and failing miserably to reduce the flush on my face.

Naomi threw her head back and laughed her delicious laugh. It was crazy how we were making such a loud noise in a single toilet and not caring about it. Then again, most of the students would be heading off to their classes.

"You're so fucking cute when you're all flustered." Naomi chuckled, placing her hands back on my hips and leaning in to kiss my right cheek.

I huffed, letting a small smile creep up on my lips as Naomi placed another kiss on my other cheek. I could never feel the slightest annoyance even if she tickled me delirious and called me cute after.

"Besides," Naomi continued, placing another kiss on my nose, "why would I need to sext when I could just do this."

I gulped hard as her eyes flicked to my lips and back to my eyes. The air around us suddenly turned thick and hot. Her irises took on a deeper shade of blue, an eminent smoldering look of want displayed; she stared straight into my eyes, piercingly, unflinchingly. I could feel her hot breath caress my lips as she exhaled a little shakily. My frantically thumping heart was rushing blood into my head. It was crazy how my body responds in this way every single time she's about to kiss me.

My brain ceased all proper functioning and coherence at the contact of Naomi's lips. She wasn't pushing hard or rushing it; it was very slow and soft. The first contact of her lips was delicate, soft; then pressure, little by little, almost imperceptible, pressing, pushing, till our lips were fully flushed, fused and connected. I shut my eyes tightly and clung on to her shoulders pulling her against me, feeling her push me impossibly closer against the door, her arms tightening around my waist and griping me firmly. Her body felt so damn good against mine. Her moist lips were leisurely sucking on mine, sending tiny ripples of pleasure permeating through my body. I moaned, a trifle too loudly as she started to swipe her tongue over and over across my lower lip, teasingly dipping the tip of her tongue in and out past my semi-parted lips. I was in fucking paradise, experiencing the most euphoric of sensations of my life. Every nerve in my body was tingling so hard, sending my body almost into a Naomi-induced spasm.

"Naomi," my voice was an octave lower and huskier. I half gasped half whispered her name in the heat of the moment, wanting more. My mind had only coherency for her name.

"Hmm." She hummed in a seemingly telepathic response and gently bit, sucked and pulled at my lip, pushing her tongue in my mouth. She felt so fucking good. She drives me crazy, so fucking crazy.

I took a deep breath, breathing in all of her. Opening my mouth, my tongue met hers as she flicked her tongue slowly against mine, still setting the pace. It was all so gentle, so sexy and so erogenous. Her hands stroked my back as I relaxed my tensed ones that were still clinging onto her shoulders and encircled it around her neck and using my fingers on one hand to thread through her soft hair rendering it messy, pulling her head closer than possible. One thing I learnt from kissing Naomi was that by fully relaxing myself, which I think sometimes I'm too tense, the experience would be far more mind blowing. We were properly snogging heatedly, in a tiny toilet, so terribly late for class. Not the best situation or location but this was by far the best snogging session, ever. Then again, each session seems to be breaking the previous record held. I can't keep count of the number of times the record was broken.

Naomi slowly pulled back, licking her lips. Her face was of one that was kiss-struck – flushed, radiant, beaming. Her brilliant blue eyes were shining and her pink lips were slightly swollen with a sheepish expression that was almost apologetic as though she thought she went a tad overboard with the kisses. She was so fucking beautiful. I was breathless, taking deep breaths of air from my nose, my head still swimming with the idea of what just happened.

Naomi giggled, the sort of giggle that just rang of delight and was music to my ears.

"Way better than sexting yeah?" She said, giving a satisfied and smug grin.

I laughed as pushed her a little, my eye landing on the only four letters on her dark brown t-shirt she was wearing: nsfw.

"I like your shirt." I pointed at the words and chuckled again.

"Yeah?" Her lips quirked into yet another mischievous grin.

"Yeah, suits you –"

Naomi tilted her head and started placing random fluttering kisses on my lips and jaw, keeping her hands flat on the door, firmly beside my head, confining me. I let myself get lost once again, all over again, half giggling and responding to her with my own way of tiny kisses.

My phone buzzed all of a sudden, startling us. I took a glance at it.

Planning on getting here anytime soon? ;) – JJ

"Shit! Look at the time! We're so late!" I cried out pushing Naomi backwards and starting to get flustered.

Naomi shrugged nonchalantly and pulled a cute pouty face as she tied her hair up into a ponytail as I collected my bag.

"See you after school?"

"Oh we've got a match today. You gonna come?" Naomi smiled.

"But you're not playing, are you?"

"Nope… I'll be with Coach and subs on the bench though."

"Then I'll see you after the match?" I asked hopefully.

"Uh, usually the team'll go out after that for dinner and drinks." She looked very apologetic. "I would ask you to come but…" She shrugged again, this time, it felt sad.

I was disappointed but I guess it was my fault since I wasn't out with Naomi yet. I tried hard to hide my disappointment. That's it, I shouldn't act like a possessive and clingy person that can't do without her girlfriend for the rest of the day.

Naomi took my hand in hers and entwined our fingers. That simple act made my heart smile. "Promise I'll text you when I can." She looked into my eyes unwaveringly with her honest blue ones.

"You don't have to," I gave her a tiny kiss. "I want you to enjoy yourself with your friends."

"Won't be the same without you though. Come on, we gotta go." With a tiny smile, she tugged my hand, pulling me away from the door and unlocked it, poking her head out first. Deciding that the coast was clear, we exited the toilet with my hand still in hers.

"Call you yeah." Naomi bent and pressed a quick kiss to my lips, turned and strode off in the direction of her class.

I watched her stride away from me, her demeanor confident, graceful, and beautiful. Sometimes I think I'm hardly even half as compared to her and whether she made a mistake with me. But when I remember the way she looks at me and kisses me, I reckon, that can't be a mistake; I must be just specially fucking lucky to have her.

I entered the class twenty minutes late. Muttering an apology to the teacher, I seated myself next to the reserved chair with JJ who was trying his best not to laugh out loud.

"Shut up," I whispered.

His smile just broadened and he gave a small shake of his head.

.

.

I sat sandwiched between JJ and Lara on my left and Panda and Thomas on my right. A quarter of the match had gone by but I had been barely paying attention. The noise produced by the crowd was deafening as usual but it seemed like I was completely in my own bubble. I wasn't quite as interested in the game. I think I could possibly be like one of those shallow female football fans where they only watch the match because of some hot guy like Fàbregas or Torres was playing. So I wasn't really watching the match because Naomi wasn't playing. I was watching her instead, shouting passionately and expressively over every play and foul with James somewhere behind her.

The other thing that got me all sullen and silent was witnessing a very hearty pre-match conversation between Naomi and Sophia. Obviously they weren't chatting anything related to the match and I know it shouldn't be such of a big deal but that didn't stop my stupid mind from over pondering, over imagining and bristling with the possessiveness of an over insecure girlfriend. It wasn't that I didn't trust any girl that spoke to Naomi; it was that I knew or felt that Sophia liked Naomi and every touch or smile from her carried some intention to flirt with Naomi because she doesn't know Naomi's taken. And because it was my problem and I couldn't do anything about it right now, I sat glumly and bottled everything up.

"Move over."

I lifted my head to find Effy and Freddie squeezing past JJ's legs, nudging my leg with hers, and motioning me to move. I shuffled to my right, also nudging Panda to give some room, finally vacating just enough space to fit both Effy and Freddie.

Effy's whole right side and arm was pressed flushed against me. I couldn't move at all; there wasn't room to shift away her yet it wasn't uncomfortable. It was strange. I hardly ever talked to Effy. We only "knew" each other through Naomi, so this, coming to sit amongst us was weird. Apparently there wasn't any weirdness between JJ and Freddie as they struck up a conversation instantly.

Effy was carrying a medium sized tub of popcorn. She sat and popped one in her mouth, wearing an almost expressionless and bored look like she was watching a dreary movie instead of an exciting basketball match.

"Want one?" She tilted the tub at me, eyes still focused on the match as though it was fascinating and she couldn't take her eyes away.

I gave a tiny shake of my head and she readjusted the tub on her lap and continued snacking on it.

I had nothing to say to her. I racked by brain to think of something to say but still came up with nothing so I gave up searching for a decent interaction since Effy hadn't even bothered. We sat for a bit being perfectly unsociable and taciturn but it was disconcertingly comfortable.

I was no longer watching the match properly. Instead, with my elbows on my knees, I rested my head on the palms of my hands and watched Naomi watch the match; occasionally flicking my eyes to the court to follow whatever Naomi was yelling about. There was nothing creepy or wrong about it; I reckon I was allowed to. My mind played back to our short toilet escapade earlier on.

"You want to shag her." A faint disembodied voice floated to my ears.

"What?" I blinked and snapped my head to the source of the comment, finding her looking sideways at me with a tiny smirk on her face.

"Don't you." Effy stated and popped popcorn in her mouth and chewed, raising an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean – no, I – no!" I stuttered, flustered, flabbergasted.

Effy gave an imperceptible shrug together with a faint expression of knowing disbelief before going back to her nonchalant look, watching the match and putting more popcorn in her mouth.

I wasn't shocked Effy knew about us because I bet Naomi and her were close too talk about us. I was shocked that Effy could read me like an open book. I wanted to know why she said that and how did she know my deepest undeniable thoughts. I mean – I don't know her, so how did she know me enough? Was I that easy to read? Or what did she mean by wanting to shag Naomi? She knew that we hadn't? Does Naomi tell her everything between us?

My mind was racing with questions. I gulped a couple of times trying to calm myself and possibly pose Effy one of the many questions.

"Relax. She didn't tell me anything," Effy said.

"I don't," I said after a short pause. "Maybe," I added. And suddenly it's like I've gone all confessional with Effy. I picked at the loose thread on my cardigan, trying to find something to occupy myself with and maybe avoid fully answering the question. "Does –" I looked at Freddie and Effy replied with a shake of her head, which I acknowledged with a couple of nods.

Effy went back on eating her popcorn and remaining silent again. How could she just sit there quietly when she's unsettled me? Then again, Effy truly wasn't conversational material. I figured if she wanted to say something, she'd say it. I didn't have anything to add either. I was content that this secret information was safe with her.

Effy and I remained in our seats when half time came. I texted Naomi something encouraging hoping she'd see it but from where I was, I could see that she was pretty occupied being in the midst of the strategizing of the match. I couldn't help but feel stupidly frustrated. I didn't even know why I was here; it wasn't even compulsory to watch the match. I could've just gone home, did some coursework and preoccupy myself with other things instead of sitting here beside someone completely unsociable, staring at my girlfriend being harassed by another girl which I could do nothing about. I'm being overly dramatic; I exaggerate. I stared at Sophia morosely. I yanked the loose thread and brushed it away.

"You know, you're right for her." Effy slightly inclined her head addressing me.

"Huh?" I snapped my head to her, meeting her blue eyes looking seriously at me. I heard her perfectly clearly but I wasn't sure what she meant.

"When you walked into her life, something changed." Effy paused, as though she were choosing her words carefully. "She changed. She can feel it, I know it. You just get her, you can read her, even more than anyone did, in a way I don't. You made her live a little more, made her realise she could actually properly love despite everything." I hung on to her quiet words. Somehow each one was clearly heard over the roar from the crowd. My heart thudded loudly through my chest as I took a deep breath.

Love? Naomi loves me? I mean I think I know that and I guess that would be true if you're in a relationship with someone. A relationship had to stem from something; a crush, an infatuation, then love, but somehow it never crossed my mind she actually loved me because she never said that to me. It's pretty much of a double standard since I hadn't said it to her either but I knew I loved her, wholeheartedly, for a long time.

I cleared my throat, finding it a little choked. "What if I'm just not perfect for her," I revealed my deepest fear. "What if she suddenly realises I'm not worth it…"

"You are. At least she thinks so. You mean a lot to her, if only you can just see it."

I nodded silently.

"Sometimes," Effy added, "You don't have to be perfect for someone. You just have to be right. You fit her perfectly."

I looked down at my shoes, taking in all that she said. Was Effy right that I fit her perfectly? That we fit perfectly? Effy didn't know me well; she didn't know us. So how could she say something like that? And the thing is, it felt true.

"You do know she's been with many girls right," Effy said, almost a little more quietly as though she was cautious on the effect of her words.

I nodded again; I did know that and was very much aware of that. I might have a hell lot of experience to catch up on.

The rest of the match was spent in silence again and I was contented to have that. Effy didn't seem to have anything to say again. Talking to her was therapeutic in a strange way. I felt more at peace then I was when the match started. Even when it ended and we won and Sophia hugged Naomi longer than necessary, I shut my heart to jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity and left for home feeling lighter than I'd ever been.

.

.

I tossed about in my bed for the umpteenth time. Getting to bed early wasn't quite a good thing. Naomi said she'd text but she hadn't. I know I should just try to forget about it and get some sleep but my mind was running in circles refusing to tire. I just wanted to know she was home safe and sound before I sleep. I was pining so hard for some form of contact with Naomi. I missed her so much that I think it was unhealthy.

I pulled out my phone from under the pillow. Shit, it was ten past eleven. I'd been awake for more than an hour! Fortunately Katie was still out god knows where or she'd be grumbling over the amount of noise my tossing was making. I inwardly cursed myself for my inability to switch my mind off when the digital clock on my phone turned 11:11. I remember someone once told me that the wish you made while your world turned between 11:11 and 11:12 will come true. Making wishes never hurt anyway, so I shut my eyes tightly and muttered, the same wish and want that has been on my mind, unceasingly under my breath.

I opened my eyes after estimating my one minute was up. Now what? I stared blankly at the dark ceiling feeling ridiculous.

"Text, you twat." I said out loud to myself, then sighing dramatically. Sometimes I hate how she makes me feel this way, like I can't live without her. I unearthed the teddy bear she gave me from under the duvet and squeezed it fiercely, taking my pathetic frustration on it. "You promised," I said to the bear, which stared back at me with the sad frown that I probably mirrored.

Exhaling a loud huff, I curled up on my side and returned the phone to the bedside table. With a decidedly tired yawn, I snuggled the bear near the crook of my neck and shut my eyes, feeling a sudden wave of tiredness wash over me.

I'd just about fallen asleep yet something bloody annoying was disturbing my peace. I reached out and grabbed my phone, silencing the shrill of the ring with my thumb sliding instinctively over the screen.

"Hello?" I said gruffly to the phone, trying hard to open my eyes. I was met with a loud cacophony over the other end that sounded like really loud music. I winced and pulled the phone away from my ear, squinting my eyes at the lit screen and registering the name of the caller. "Naomi?" I felt a tad more awake now, somehow.

"Emily!" She yelled into the line as though we were shouting at each other from across a busy street. She muttered something inaudible. Then I heard a, "Hold on!"

After a few seconds, which I had sobered up considerably, excited and annoyed at Naomi at the same time, I heard a sound that resembled the slam of a door over the line.

"This better?" She asked. It sounded like she was in a small toilet from the reverb of her words. "Clear?"

"Yes."

There was a pause, as though we were both unsure who should be the one speaking first.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Where are you?"

Naomi chucked, "I'm at a shitty pub. The girls are drinking themselves crazy and I all I want to do is leave."

"Why don't you then?" I frowned, thinking we could have met if she could leave early.

"They wont let me but soon. I kept thinking about you. I miss you. Wish you were here." She said it clearly, bluntly, without stumbling over her words.

She was either slightly drunk or terribly sober. Either way, I knew she meant it. A small smile sprang onto my lips, completely erasing all previous annoyances. A warm flutter of gladness spread over my chest and I smiled crazily into my phone.

"Me too," I whispered the words, thinking she possibly couldn't hear them. I started to absently stroke the teddy bear's fur.

"Yeah?" I could hear a certain distinct smile in her voice, which let me know this was mutual. "Were you sleeping? I hope I didn't wake you…"

"No not really, I was doing something before you called," I lied.

"Good, good…" she trailed off. "So what did Eff want?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw her sitting with you at the match."

"You saw me? I mean, us?" I spluttered.

"Of course I was looking at you silly." Naomi gave a short laugh. "You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you, you're like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much." She spontaneously sang, her words with just a bare hint of a slur and laughed after that. I'm sure that this must have something to do with the alcohol but I wasn't complaining, tipsy singing Naomi was so adorable and she had one fucking gorgeous voice. I swooned, laughing together with her, my smile turning into a wide grin.

"You're drunk," I joked.

"Nope, only had a couple of beers," she protested. "What did Eff want anyway? She hardly watches the matches."

"She just wanted to have a little chat about us," I said. Technically, 'chat' wasn't quite it but I didn't want to delve into the details.

"Oh yeah, she might have had a part to play in bringing us together."

"She does? How so?" I felt a little alarmed at this bit of information and wondered exactly how long Effy knew about us.

Suddenly there was a loud banging coming from Naomi's end, which sounded like someone was banging on the door.

"Argh, some fucker wants to use the toilet," she grumbled irritably. "Give me a minute."

I heard the door get thrown open and a flurry of noises followed, which sounded like a bit of shouting from Naomi. I adjusted myself on the bed so that I was lying on my back with the phone right beside my ear. I gave a little stretch and stifled a yawn noting that it was already past twelve. It didn't matter; my girlfriend called and sang to me, nothing else mattered.

"Naomi!" I heard a chorus of voices from over the line. "Where were you?" More noise and music followed.

And a few seconds later, I heard questions. "Where are you going? Who are you calling? Come back here!"

"Oh fuck off," I heard Naomi clearly over the line, "I'm talking to my girlfriend." There was a faded round of cheers and whistles. I giggled at Naomi's grumpiness and felt a little elated at her declaration that she was no longer single. Now the other girls can back off.

"Hello?" Her voice came slightly apologetic over the line again after a pause. "Sorry about that. Where were we?" There was more background noise than before but her voice was still audible.

"Sure you don't have to get back to them?" I asked with a little laugh yet I knew I didn't want this time together to end. I wished I could hold this moment in my hands so I could stop the world from moving and the clocks from turning. I wanted to lock this time just for us. Although she was just a distant voice away, our connection with each other was still evident to me. I hope I wasn't the only one feeling this.

"Nah they can wait for a bit. I want some Emily-time. This time is ours."

Somehow those words sunk in snugly into my heart. This was my time with her, frozen just for me. I was motionless, suspended on the strand of static that separates us with a smile etched on my face.

"I wish you were here."

She didn't respond; I couldn't see her but I knew she was smiling too and silence also paints beautiful pictures.

"What're you doing on Sunday?" She asked. I heard her smile.

"Nothing much yet why?"

"Can we go somewhere?"

"Where?"

"Anywhere. Your turn to pick." The smile was still there, with a soupçon of cheekiness.

I laughed, "Okay." I can never get used to Naomi blatantly asking me out. We shouldn't get used to things like this. I never want the spark of excitement of meeting her to go off, ever.

"Great! I think I'll need to get back before they drag me over." There was a hint of reluctance in her voice that was somewhat mirrored by my pout she can't see.

"Don't stay too late, be safe." I replied, automatically cringing, feeling that I sounded like a protective mother. "I miss you, I can't wait." I added, impulsively.

"I miss you too." Naomi said softly, sincerely, affectionately. "Sleep tight, Emily."

Then there was silence. No six rounds of goodbye's or telling each other to put down first. I loved her for being simple like this.

But three words hung precariously at the tip of my tongue. They threatened to fall out before we hung up but I kept them in, coddled at the curve of my tongue.

"I love you." I spilled the words into the dark room quietly like a passing whisper.

I've never felt so terrified and so liberated in my life.