Disclaimer: I have not inherited the Inheritance Cycle.

Author's Note: I decided to churn out some more chapters while they are still fresh in my mind. I don't have too much to say about this update other than there will be mentions of nudity and lots of blushing, nothing explicit but it's there. Hopefully, this chapter will be a bit more funny then the last one as this is meant to be a crack!fic. Anyhow, onto the chapter!

Chapter 2: Babes in the Woods

When Eragon came to, he was lying on his back in the middle of a forest clearing. His whole body ached and his head throbbed something fierce. It felt like the entire city of Drass-Leona had fallen on top of him! Groaning pitifully, he forced his weary eyelids open. Sunlight filtered through oak and maple trees. Their gnarled trunks surrounded him in a circle. Grass, twigs, and leaves poked into his naked back.

Wait a minute... Eragon thought in shock and horror. Naked? Me!

Sleep vanished from him as he shot up swiftly and glanced downwards. His suspicions were confirmed: He, Eragon Shadeslayer, was stark naked without a scratch of clothing on in a clearing with another nude elf.

Huh? Eragon's mind reeled at the last phrase that floated lazily through his head.

Nude elves?

Giving himself a mental shake, his eyes darted across the clearing. His heart skipped a beat as they fell on an equally nude and breath-taking elf who was none other than the Lady Arya, ambassador and princess of the elves!

Eragon feasted his eyes on the mouth-watering sight of a completely unclothed elf hottie (not to mention the woman of his dreams and wanking fantasies), until realisation dawned on him. It was too late to do anything though for Arya, the nude elf in question, locked eyes with him.

Arya's emerald orbs dropped to his crotch for a heart-stopping moment before eliciting an "Eep!" of surprise from the Dragon Rider. His cheeks turned bright red and he quickly covered his bare groin with his hands, suddenly wanting to get disappear entirely.

Arya's eyes narrowed and then widened in horror. She glanced down at her chest and further bellow. Eragon braced himself for the worst case scenario and was rewarded ten times fold as Arya attempted to cover her private parts with both hands while swearing vehemently like a loose sailor. Half of Eragon's blush was now caused by her curse words, as he didn't even know some of them existed!

Finally, Arya stopped cursing and panted for breath. Eragon struggled to tear his eyes away from the rise and fall of her breasts as she did so. No sooner had he done so, however, then he noticed tendrils of white smoke curl up into the sky all over Arya's body. Eragon knew she was hot, but not that hot! A sinking feeling of dread welled up within him and he double-checked himself.

Eragon groaned in despair to see that he was smoking too, although perhaps not in the proverbial sense! An awkward silence settled over the duo as they tried to piece together what was happening, or had happened, to them. After what seemed like ages, the prior events flooded back to Eragon and panic raced through him.

Saphira!

The Empire!

The Vault of Souls!

Now...here?

The question was, where was here?

Eragon and Arya had been sucked into a dark cave by a white and frothy whirlwind. They had not been standing in a clearing. Did that mean the Vault of Souls was some kind of magical teleportation device? But what good would it do if they couldn't get back to it? They were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no dragon statues or anything for that matter!

What the heck was going on here?

"Shadeslayer," Arya said through clenched teeth. "What just happened to us?"

"I do not know," Eragon sighed. "I would like the answer myself along with the rest of my things."

"Really?" Arya asked arching an eyebrow delicately.

Eragon blushed furiously at the implication but nodded.

"Why, you don't?" Eragon quipped, unable to restrain himself.

"Impressive comeback," Arya drawled, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That was really smooth. I never expected that one from you."

"Oh, come on!" Eragon huffed. "We just got sent here through some fluke of magic. Maybe I worded the spell wrong or something but..."

"Eragon," Arya said, looking at him weirdly. "There is no spell powerful enough to transport two PEOPLE from one place to another."

"Really?" Eragon pouted.

Arya just rolled her eyes.

"Eragon," She said quietly a second later.

"Yeah?" Eragon asked, trying not to stare at her.

"I really need some clothing," Arya mumbled.

"What was that?" Eragon asked with an impish grin.

"You heard me!" Arya snapped.

"Spoil sport!" Eragon grumbled.

"Child!" Arya shot back.

"Boring old hag!" Eragon retorted.

"Pansy!" Arya returned.

"Hottie!" Eragon blurted out, unable to stop himself.

"What was that?" Arya asked in disbelief.

"Um, never mind," Eragon mumbled. "You wanted clothes right?"

Arya nodded with an uncertain look on her face as if she did not believe him. That was okay. Eragon needed clothes too.

Heaving a sigh, he closed his eyes and reached out with his mind magic to search for the nearest signs of life in the hopes of finding a human settlement. If he could find a village or town, then perhaps they could 'borrow' some clothes until they got ones of their own.

Then all they needed were some weapons and a meal and they were all set to figure out what the heck just happened to them. After a short while, Eragon finally chanced across a human life source. There were several so he guessed it was a small village, or maybe an outpost. Whatever the case, they would have clothes and food.

"Okay, I found something," Eragon announced.

"How far away?" Arya asked.

"Maybe an hour or so, why?" Eragon asked confusedly.

"Why do you think?" Arya snapped.

Eragon paled when he realised the answer.

"Isn't there a spell to cover yourself or something?" He stammered hastily. "I'm sure there's something!"

Arya hemmed and hawed until at last the black-haired elf finally nodded.

"There is one I know of," Arya admitted reluctantly. "Unfortunately, it will not last long and shall probably wear off before we reach the village."

"Oh, dear," Eragon said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice.

Although part of him was not reassuring in the slightest. He dared not let Arya hear that half of him though or she would have killed him without a second thought. Heaving a sigh, Arya chanted the spell and in seconds her body was blurred so that Eragon could only see faint skin and her figure but no private parts.

Aw, bummer! Eragon pouted.

"Stop staring at me!" Arya snapped.

"Huh?" Eragon asked stupidly.

"Never mind," Arya mumbled wearily. "Here, I'll cast the spell on you too but I might need some energy."

Eragon had to bite back a witty retort but simply nodded and gave Arya some of his energy so she could chant the spell for him. Minutes later, they were ready and set forth cautiously and carefully in the direction that Eragon guided them to.

The Dragon Rider hoped desperately it was a village and that they could find some clothes, because otherwise he really didn't want to stand in the way of an angry warrior princess like Arya!

To Be Continued...

A/N: As I said, this is mainly a crack!fic so hopefully it's just light and entertaining and not too painful to read. There will be AxE in this but not for a short while yet. Also, things will be different because of the time travel. They don't know they're back in time yet but they will find out soon, so no worries. Like always, I hope you enjoyed it...

...And thanks for reading!