Hello fellow internet users and Fanfiction people! This is my first fanfic I've done and posted anywhere before. I ask for comments and reviews, but I will not take hate and everything bad D: Anyways, this was something that popped into my head. I figured Hei from Darker Than Black couldn't be all stoic and 'evil' all of the time, right? Poor Hei.

Please enjoy, R&R please!

-Makitog

He sat against the wall wearing his white shirt and jeans. It was late at night in his apartment, all alone as he thought. Car horns made their sound, late-night wanderers made occasional yells or chatter with others, and the sound of a vehicle passing came every so often. Yet nothing registered in his mind, it was already full.

He couldn't help the tears. They came on their own. Quietly the salty drops rolled down his cheeks, dripping off his chin and landing on the floor with a quiet peck. He could not control how quickly the drops leaked from his half closed eyes. And he hated it.

He never cried; only when he let his mind stray off its path, when his defences were down: the horrible reason why he was remembering and reflecting.

Hei couldn't bring himself to stop crying, if anything, it increased. It wasn't silent anymore, small gasps came from his mouth. Reflecting was not fun if you were the most feared and well-known contractor known.

How painful it is when you're truly human, pretending to be something you're not, to remember such things you did that only a madman would do. A psychopath.

And now Hei's mind showed him faces. Every face of a contractor, human or person he'd killed was shown, and with it the actions beforehand.

A blow to the back of the head.

Slit throat.

Pushed off a building.

Electrocuted.

How horrible was he really? He was a murder, a cold blooded murderer. And he got paid to be one. The world was a twisted place.

Yet he'd convinced himself this was right. It was a good thing to kill unworthy people who deserved it and lying contractors that felt nothing. It wasn't bad if it was quick, if it was needed. But he knew he was lying to himself.

This was half of the reason he cried. In the beginning it was for her.

Xing.

He now realized his sobs had become louder. He put a shaky hand over his mouth. The Black Reaper didn't cry.

Hei did it all for her. Pretending, ignoring his inner voice telling him it was all wrong, wrong, wrong! He had to be a good brother. He loved her. She was the killer, his own sister who had no choice over what she had become.

And he had chosen to stay with her and be with her, ever since they were so young and were once allowed to hold the title of innocence. Murdering at such a young age, children, made his stomach churn. It was painful to think of the memories with her. Sadness and pain were all he felt, at least now.

She'd always been able to tell when he was lying. Even after turning into the beautiful monster she was, she knew he hated what they had become. Her words rang clearly in his head.

"You hate it. People you kill haunt you. You can't sleep because every life you take takes you farther from who you want to be," she had said, which was all too true. And he had denied it. It was too late to back out of this existence and fate. Too late to even try to be what he wanted to be. He wasn't even sure of it anyway. He'd never had the chance.

Her voice and face came into his mind's eye again. "It's okay. Stop fighting yourself." Though by now he knew it wasn't okay. He fought with himself for this long, and things would never be okay. The world was breaking into pieces and he was helping it.

She loved him though, no matter what. And he loved her. There had to be hope somewhere, left waiting in the darkest outcast corners of his pained heart.

There was a soft creak of a door, and Hei looked up from the tear-stained floor to see the silver hair of the doll he stayed with emerging from the bathroom.

Yin.

She had evolved, changed. She was capable of more. The expressionless doll was evolving, and so were contractors. It interested him, really.

"Hei," she said in her usual monotone as Hei wiped away the tears drying out his reddened cheeks and gave a sniff. He knew she wouldn't say anything, though he still felt too vulnerable and crushed to let anyone see him like this.

He pushed the pain and sadness and feelings far. He quickly turned his mind away, closed off everything that had just been connected.

"She said," Yin said quietly, causing Hei to stare at her and halt his mental struggle returning to the colder world. And again Yin went quiet.

She was right. Xing had said many things, though her words still rang through his head.

"It's okay."

He pushed everything away again, to the back of his mind to be hopefully locked up for quite some time. He shut everything off, and put on his uncaring, icy mask of nothing.

Because he was the Black Reaper.