Hi, hi, wazzup!

So… This is my first fanfiction…

And being a Soul Eater MegaFan, I thought this would be fitting…

Really, if you want to know where I got this idea, I really can't help you there…

Pairing: Crona (16) and Patty (14)

So… If this is a pile of shit, please feel free to flame me. I really want to improve, if I can.

And

Here

We

GO!

/ / /

"Oi, Crona! Wait up! I want to talk to you!"

So said our favorite, neurotic, son-of-Death, Death the Kid, to one even more neurotic, pink-haired, son-of-a-witch, Crona. Crona paused, leaning on one of the various brick walls inhabiting Death City, and watched the shinigami make his way over.

"Y-yes, Kid?" he asked.

Kid gave him a small smile. "Yeah… Hey, you know Patty, right?"

Crona paled considerably at this, and grabbed his right arm with his left, per force of habit. "U-uh… yeah… Well, not really well, but… W-what's this all for…?"

"Well, Liz is headed off to Chicago to meet some boyfriend she met on the net…" Kid rolled his eyes and said "boyfriend" in a nasally, mocking tone. "… and I have to check up on the Russian Death Scythe… Father wants me to become more familiar with the Death Scythes. So, Patty's going to be left alone… In my house…"

He shuddered. "Well, Patty isn't stupid, but she's really hyper… Almost like a little kid… I absolutely cannot go anywhere knowing that she might make something asymmetrical!"

Crona started sweating. "Oh, no…" He thought wildly. "No, no, no, this isn't what I think is is, this can't be what I think it is, I really don't know how to deal with this!"

"So…" Kid continued. "I talked it over with Liz and Father, and they both think that you would be the person most suited for the job. Meaning… Crona, we need you to look after Patty for a few days."

"A f-f-f-few d-days?" Crona stammered.

Oblivious to his friend's growing panic, Kid quite helpfully responded. "Or a few weeks. I'm not really sure how long this is supposed to take. So, are you going to do it?"

"C-can't either of you b-bring her a-along?"

Kid stared at Crona, causing him to shift his weight uncomfortably. "I can't do my mission with Patty this time around. After all, it would be horribly asymmetrical to carry just one pistol. And Liz can't watch after Patty all the time."

"W-What about Shinigami-sama?"

"Father would, but he has to manage the school and monitor the decline of the madness wavelength. Just because Asura is dead and the madness is fading doesn't mean that things are going to go back to normal. So, can you do it?"

By this point, Crona had started to shake like a leaf in an autumn gale. "I d-d-don't think I c-c-can do this, K-Kid… I'm r-really s-sorry…"

Kid sighed, and pulled out an envelope from his front pocket. He held it out to Crona, who picked it up with sweaty, vibrating hands. On the front cover, in very symmetrical block letters, was "$120 IN ADVANCE; ANOTHER $120 UPON RETURN."

"So, how about it?" Kid asked, looking at Crona. He shook his head and pushed the letter away.

"I'm s-sorry, Kid, but I d-don't know how to deal with this…"

A loud sucking sound, akin to a clogged sink coming unplugged, emerged from Crona's back as a very pissed-off Ragnarok exploded into being. In his loud, painfully shrill voice, he started screaming and punching Crona in the head.

"Shit, you're a stupid bastard, ya know that!" he raved. "You get fucking stabbed by that moldy old bitch and yet ya can't handle a little girl! Fuck, why did I have to be stuck with a lameass like you! Take the fucking job, dipshit!"

"Owww, Ragnarok, stop it!"

Heeding the command, Ragnarok stopped punching Crona and started yanking on his nose.

"Come on ya fucking prick! Think of how much candy we can buy with that shit!" Looking up from his endeavor, Ragnarok glared at Kid. "We're taking you're offer, bitch!... If you double the cash!"

Crona tried to protest, how he couldn't take his friend's money, but Ragnarok shoved his fists in Crona's mouth, effectively gagging him.

Kid glared right back at the tiny black demon. "Double it is, plus some candy right now, if you let go of Crona."

Ragnarok instantly yanked his fists out of Crona's mouth, wiped them on his meister's hair, and opened his maw wide. A long red tongue unfurled and almost hit Kid in the eye. Kid backed away, and put a candy on Ragnarok's tongue. As quickly as it had come out, the tongue was back in Ragnarok's mouth, and the only noise heard from him was contented crunching.

"So…" Kid began awkwardly. "Are you going to take up the offer?"

Crona sighed. "W-well, Ragnarok already said yes, so… I guess…"

Kid beamed and clapped Crona on the shoulder. "Hey, thanks, Crona!" he said. "Drop by my place at exactly eight 'o' clock this Friday. Oh, and bring your stuff with."

Kid noticed Crona's confused expression, so he elaborated. "You're going to stay at our house for this job. Normally, it'd be the other way around, but… well, a tiny cell isn't going to give either of you much space. Or privacy."

Crona shuddered at the various scenarios that rose unbidden from his mind. "I see what you m-mean…"

Kid nodded. "Well, Crona, thanks for taking the job. I'll see you later." And with that, Death the Kid meandered off with a dazed Crona staring after him.

"R-Ragnarok… W-what did we g-get ourselves into…?"

Ragnarok, who had finished his candy by this point, gave his partner a sharp smack on the head. "Aw, suck it up and deal with it, you pansy!"

Crona shook his head. "That's the problem… I don't know how to deal with this at all…"

/

So, how was it?

*looks out window, sees an angry mob*

Okay, so I know it was a lame start, but it should (hopefully) improve with every chapter. Updates are going to be far between, but many chapters are going to go up, so it should all be good.

Oh, and I forgot to mention these two essential items at the top.

I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER! THIS IS JUST FOR NONPROFIT ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!

This fic will have an "M" rating due to language. I don't think I'm insane enough to write a sex scene between Crona and Patty. Yet.