Blaine won't deny that he's made mistakes in the honesty and trust department, but let it never be said he breaks his promises.

So he's there when Kurt falls back in the couch sobbing after Mercedes has left.

"She flinched, Blaine! I don't even think she would have hugged me goodbye if I hadn't asked! I mean, even if I had it - which... which I don't even know yet - she wouldn't... she's not gonna get it from hugging me!"

Blaine doesn't say anything - simply rubs Kurt's back as he lets him rage, hurt and disappointed, about what he feels is one of his best friends betraying him. It takes a couple of minutes before he starts to calm down, and the sobbing slowly subsides.

"Kurt... ," Blaine finally gets his attention, "remember when I first held you, after you knew?"

It's Kurt's turn to flinch, now.

"That was different," he says stubbornly, although even he hears how hypocritical it sounds. He won't easily let himself forget how he freaked out over Blaine's tears mingling with his.

"Because I am positive and you might be?" Blaine asks. "She's just heard that one of her best friends might have a chronic, highly contagious disease, Kurt, don't you think she's allowed to freak out about that just a little? Mercedes is a good friend, and she will not drop you at the blink of an eye. I'm not saying it's as hard on her as it is on you, but she needs time to come to terms with this, too."

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but then Kurt nods, silently, as he cuddles up against Blaine's chest.

"Will it always be like this? People not knowing how to deal with me because of this thing I can't even control?"

"Not for you it won't," Blaine says as he rocks him gently. "Because it's not gonna get you. You were at it on time, you've got good odds, and it's not gonna get you."

He's not sure if he's comforting Kurt, or himself.

.

He's there when the first negative result come back, the one of the tests that were taken that first day in the hospital. And although they more or less knew the result in advance, they still celebrate, with a bottle of wine and an Audrey Hepburn marathon. They haven't even made it halfway through Breakfast at Tiffany's when they fall asleep on the couch together, all tangled limbs and smiling faces.

Three days later, however, when Kurt cries himself to sleep after another heavy therapy session, Blaine's not there to hold him because Kurt has thrown him out, yet again. Instead, he spends the night curled up against the front door of their apartment, listening to the muffled sounds of Kurt's sobs, and he waits, until Kurt lets him back in and they talk, for hours on end, about Kurt's fears and Blaine's mistakes, although no matter how hard they try, they never quite reach that point where everything is alright.

.

But he's there again when Kurt takes his last set of antiretrovirals, exactly four weeks after he's started them. He swallows the pills with obvious disgust, but the smile on his face as he puts down his glass is that of a free man.

"You know, I have a present for you," Blaine says, smiling coyly, his hands behind his back.

Kurt raises an eyebrow.

"Because I managed to make it through four weeks of swallowing pills?"

"Small victories," Blaine reminds him as he gives him a small peck on the cheek and presents his gift.

But Kurt looks quizzical when he sees what's lying in Blaine's outstretched hands.

"A... hammer?"

"I thought you might want to take a swing at that pill dispenser," Blaine winks.

Kurt can't help but stare at him.

"I... I can't do thát! The table! A... And... what if I'll need it again?" He feels like a buzzkill, but he can't help it. "What if I'm-"

"Sssh..." Blaine places a finger against his lips. "You won't be. And if you are, I'll buy you a new one. Promise. I'll bedazzle it myself. Now take the hammer. You know you want to."

Kurt needs two swings to get it right, and he knows that dent in the kitchen table will never go away, but the satisfaction of hearing the hated little pillbox break and shatter to pieces is more than worth it.

.

Blaine's there - albeit a little reluctantly - when Linda insists on his presence when she explains to Kurt, in excruciating and painful detail, exactly what does and does not constitute safe sex practice. Both Kurt and Blaine seem oblivious to the contradiction between their linked hands throughout the session and their insistence that they do not, in fact, need a sex talk since they are not, in fact, together. Linda sends them off with a smile and a free sample box of lubricated latex condoms.

.

Blaine's there, too, when the second test result comes, when the doctor says "negative", when Kurt throws himself around Blaine's neck and kisses him, hard, on the lips. He's there when Kurt pulls away, embarrassed, shocked at his own impulsivity.

"Oh dear," he stammers, "that... I'm sorry... I didn't..."

"I know," Blaine assures him - and he does, he knows this doesn't mean anything, per se, but the butterflies in his stomach flutter harder than ever, and he's determined to enjoy the moment anyway. "Small victories, right?"

The fact that Kurt doesn't pull away -actually smiles back- gives him hope.

"Small victories," Kurt confirms, as he buries his head in the crook of Blaine's neck.

.

Blaine's there when Kurt needs to do some paperwork for his summer internship and his pen hovers over the box where he's supposed to fill in "Specific requirements/remarks (dietary/medical/...)".

"I should write something, here... shouldn't I?" Kurt asks, hesitantly.

But Blaine shakes his head.

"No, you shouldn't. First off, to the best of your knowledge your status is negative. Second, you are under no legal requirement to disclose any of that. So don't."

But Kurt is not convinced.

"Then what if something happens? Shouldn't they know? In case I... hurt myself, or, I don't know... hurt someone else?"

"Then you'll deal with it at that moment."

Blaine moves into the chair opposite Kurt, grabbing his hand over the kitchen table.

"Look, Kurt, I know you're trying to do the 'responsible' thing, but it makes absolutely no sense. Your status will not affect your work in any way, but like it or not, it might affect whether they decide to take you on. And there's no way you'll be able to prove it if it does. It's none of their business and unless it's actually relevant and necessary - keep it that way."

His acceptance letter comes a couple of days later with the return of post.

.

And finally Blaine's there, he's very much there when Kurt all but squishes his hand to a pulp as they wait in the doctor's office for the results of Kurt's third, and last, test.

"Kurt, calm down," Blaine tells him, although he knows it's no use. "Your odds are good, you know that. That last test was way more important. This is just to make sure."

"Yeah, but what if?" Kurt asks him, fear sparkling in his eyes. "Maybe the last one was a false negative. It happens. Karma's a bitch, and I know I may have pushed things when I didn't stop insulting Rachel's animal sweaters. And remember that one time in the Vuitton store when I told that lady teal was not her color? Yeah, she definitely wasn't happy about that."

"I honestly doubt your complete lack of filter when it comes to other people's fashion sense will influence your chances of contracting HIV," Blaine says dryly.

"Blaine!" Kurt is genuinely shocked. "This is not a joke! Are you not nervous? How are you not nervous? Don't you remember when you were waiting for your final results?"

To Kurt's surprise, Blaine laughs.

"Oh yeah, I remember that."

"And you weren't nervous?"

"Of course I was nervous!" Blaine says, the corner of his mouth curling in a smile when he sees a smug expression appear on Kurt's face. "Gary had promised to give me Brad's number if I was negative, and I couldn't wai- AW!"

He glares at Kurt, massaging his side where Kurt had less-than-subtly planted his elbow in Blaine's ribs.

"It's true, though," he murmurs softly, but Kurt isn't listening.

"What if, Blaine? What. if?"

"Then we'll deal with it," Blaine replies firmly.

He shifts in his chair, forcing Kurt to do the same so they're facing each other.

"We talked about this, remember? If - and keep in mind this is a really, really small if - if you're positive, then you're one lucky bastard because thanks to my pubescent rebelling we already know exactly what is needed to keep this particular strain under control. And, AND-" he holds up his hand to stop Kurt from protesting, "you're going to continue your life exactly as you always planned it. You're going to love your new pill dispenser because I'll make it shine and glitter in this fall's trending colors, you're going to fight, and you're going. to be. fine."

Kurt nods, although Blaine can see that he's fighting back his tears.

"But us, Blaine?" Kurt asks weakly. "What about us?"

There's no good answer to this question, and Blaine knows it. They've carefully been avoiding the topic for the past couple of months, focussing on getting Kurt through PEP, getting them both through finals, honoring the unspoken agreement they would wait at least until they knew where Kurt stood.

"I love you," he finally says. "But whether or not you're positive, I screwed up. I broke our trust, I broke us - I know that and I know that no matter what I do, no matter what your status is, I will never be able to really fix that. This, this mistake, it will always be a part of us. And I accept that. But I don't want to be thát person, Kurt. I love you, and I believe we can make it work even though there's always going to be three of us in this relationship, but I can't forever be the one that screwed up. I'm happy with whatever you want to give me, but if you do decide to give me -us- another chance... please... make it a full chance."

And Kurt understands, understands that their being together has nothing to do with either of their medical issues, that today -and his status- will not make or break what they have. Because while Blaine made the mistake that led to their break up, whether or not they can work it out will depend on Kurt first, and on whether or not he can accept that Blaine lied to him, and work past that: forgive him. And he knows he's not there. Not quite. Not yet.

But he wants to be.

"Kurt Hummel?" The nurse looks around the waiting room, finally setting her eyes on Blaine and Kurt. "The doctor's ready to see you now."

.

Hours later, even after they've called Burt and Carole, after they've told Mercedes, Rachel, Gary, Ben - Kurt is still crying. Crying over that one word that changes everything and nothing, that one word that he knows he will never again take for granted, that one word that should make him happy but instead makes him feel guilty because he can't believe how lucky he is, can't believe he got away. He got away.

.

Legal Name - Kurt Hummel
Date of Birth - Born May 27, 1993
Identification - SSN ***-**-**** / CDL N*******

Test results

Chlamydia ... NEGATIVE
Syphilis ... NEGATIVE
HIV-1 DNA ... NEGATIVE
Hepatatis C ... NEGATIVE

Explanation of results

"negative" means that the bacteria or virus was not found

... I hope none of you will kill me over the end - it just felt most natural to leave it like this. I know this is a sensitive issue, and I've tried to honor it as best as I could, so I would love to hear how you perceived it!

Thanks to everyone who's read, and in particular those who reviewed and/or alerted this story in some way - I truly, and deeply, love you all.

ETA: the sequel is all done! Well, almost... The Danger Inside Of Me can be found on my profile, so go check it out! I also changed my Tumblr url, I'm currently at letmegiveyoumynumbah, so maybe I'll see you there!