Bebe didn't start off so much as a girlfriend but more as the only other person of the female gender around here that I can imagine naked and not feel repulsed by.

Not to be rude, but for some reason the 'mountain town hottie syndrome' doesn't really run strong in the girls of South Park. They guys got most of the sexy genes, and as fate would have it most of them ended up fucking each other.

Like for example Red would be cute if she didn't have a rash of miniature volcanoes covering everything down to her collarbone, Annie's as flat as a washboard, and poor Millie is cursed with a butter face and body.

Poor girl.

Plus all they're ever interested in are boys, boys, and boys. It might be that the lack of straight male students in the eleventh grade caused them to latch onto what they could get, although the pickings are extremely slim when one of the only people that have a hankering after the female gender is Butters Stotch.

Maybe I'm an evolutionary oddity, something that nature created to make up for absence of available males in the vicinity.

But that's why I like Bebe. She's not like them. She's smart, funny, and nice and we can talk about things that are really important, like the news from last night or what's going on in our nation's capitol.

She's also a little rude, but that can be forgiven. I mean, she's also got a body more bangin than most of the bikini clad women in the playboys and r-rated catalogues Kenny McCormick brings to school, hiding them in his textbooks during class.

Heidi and the rest of the girls' council caught a hold of one once in fifth grade and they spent a good hour flipping through the pages disgustedly, pointing out how degrading and foul the pictures were.

I kept quiet and offered to take the offending magazine home to burn it, but when I got to my room I just spent the night on my back, holding it up and flipping through the smiling buxom blondes and brunettes.

Their shirts were unbuttoned, their panties pulled down.

I told Bebe about it once, and she laughed.

"A dyke for life, huh, Testy"

I decided to show her just how much of a dyke, so we proceeded to make out until her dad came to pick her up where she went to a fancy dinner for the next three hours, accompanied by Clyde Donovan.

I sat at home doing homework and cursing Applebee's.

But it's ok. I mean, we're still a couple. Well, as much of a couple as holding hands only in the dark of movie theatres, sneaking into bedrooms at two in the morning, and making out in school bathrooms can be.

A normal couple where we're both dating other people at the same time.

Both Clyde and Stan are oblivious, Clyde being a hyper idiot and Stan was pretty much married to Kyle by now. "Super Best Friends" my ass.

Bebe smiles and leans into my arms, blonde curls falling across my shoulder like a cape. I kiss her lips, perfect white teeth shining from between a smile. Her curves meet with mine and we lock together like pieces of a puzzle, finally joining to make the bigger picture they were designed to create.

I breathe into her hair.

"You're amazing"

It's a declaration of affection behind closed doors.

No one knows any better, and we alone become a thing of beauty.