Drive Myself Crazy
Holly laid alone in her bed, she had given up on sleep long ago. Her mind was racing as she stared at the off-white ceiling. She looked over at the clock that was barely lighting the dark room.
"5 AM . . . Really?" she hissed in displeasure, deciding that sleep was impossible. She tossed the blankets aside and gets up. She went to the kitchen, pouring some coffee. She grips the warm cup in her hands as she walks to the living room, sitting on the couch. She takes a sip of her drink than sets it down, pulling out a photo album. Holly opens it and flips through the pages until a photo caught her eye. She looked down at the photo of herself and Will Schuester after their "Singing in the Rain." A tear falls.
"Why did I ever let you go?" she cries more as she stares, his features captivating her. The curly hair, boyish grin and his cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple. God he was cute and he cared for her so much, he loved her and she was pretty sure that she loved him too but that thought scared her, love? She had never been in love before, she's Holly Holliday, she moves fast, love 'em and leave 'em, get out before she gets hurt but there was something about him that was different. She regretted how she just left, how she ran away from him, from real happiness. She puts the album up.
"I need to see him" she concludes "it's the only way." She gets up and takes a quick shower, dead set on confronting Will at McKinley.
After her lightning fast shower she gets dressed in a white collared shirt, black skirt that hugged her curves and a pair of bright red heels. She does her makeup and grabs her bag, leaving the small apartment.
She spent the 2 hour drive in silence, thinking of Will and nothing else, she was nervous, she feared that it was too late, that he took her advice and was with Emma now and they were happier than ever.
She arrived at 7:30, she walked into the school with purpose, she could feel the kids looking at her, she walks right into the choir room where the kids were having their early morning rehearsal.
"Holaclase!" she says in true Holly fashion, all the kids were happy to see her, Will didn't look as happy. "What are you kids working on?"
"We were about to perform our songs for the week"
"Whats the assignment"
"A song that reflects our true feelings" Finn says
"Hey, mind if I start it off?" she asks, the kids look at Will
"I . . . I suppose that's okay" he nods
Holly whispers the song to the band and looks at Will as the music started.
Lying in your arms Where was my head I lie awake I was such a fool And now I'm left
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you
How I'm missing you so bad
Where was my heart
Now I cry alone in the dark
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
With all this pain
I've only got myself to blame
I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)
Why didn't I know it
(How much I loved you baby)
Why couldn't I show it
(If I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance
I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)
The song ends, tears in her eyes, he eyes never left Will, everyone knew that she was singing right to him. He looks at everyone than shakes his head and storms out of the room. Holly looks at the kids than runs after him.
"Will!" she says
The glee kids look at each other. Confused and shocked by what happened.
"Wow" Finn says
"Did you see Mr. Schuester's face?
"Yeah he looked. . . Embarrassed" Tina says
"Well yeah he was completely blind-sided" Kurt says
Holly looks around the whole school, calling Will's name. She finally finds him in the weight room beating up on a read punching bag.
"Will" she says, he ignores her "Will please talk to me"
"Why did you come here?"
"To see if you were okay, you left the choir room so fast"
"Not here" he motions to the room and looks at her "To Lima"
"I- I don't know, I wanted to see you" She stutters
"I finally got over you, I am finally happy and then you come back" she hits the bag again
"Will I'm sorr-"she starts
"I'm with Emma now" he cuts her off
"That's gr-"
"I'm going to propose on Christmas Eve" he says, cutting her off again
"I'm happy for you, I really am"
"Then why are you doing this to me, why did you suddenly change your mind?"
"I missed you; I realized that I was wrong and that you are the best thing that ever happened to me"
"You should have realized that earlier, before you decided to break my heart." He starts to walk away. She grabs his arm.
"Will please stop"
"No I'm not dealing with this, I've moved on. You should too" he leaves
Holly sits there for a moment and cries than wipes her eyes and walks out. The glee kids see her and run over, eager to see what happened between her and Will.
"Ms. Holliday, what happened? What did he say?" Rachel asks
She looks up, eyes red and puffy from crying "He said that he was finally happy and that he didn't want to deal with me"
"Wow, Schuester is an asshole" Santana says
"So he didn't care at all?" Finn says
"He pretty much said that he didn't want me to ruin what he has with Emma and that didn't want me here" Holly says, the kids were quiet, Quinn breaks the silence.
"I dont blame him" She says, they all look at her
"Me either" Puck says "you did kind of spring this on him unexpectedly"
"Come to glee tomorrow" the kids say
The next day she shows up, Will rolls his eyes when she sees her.
"Okay guys I have a song to sing." Will says, they all sit down
The bravest thing I've ever done And if I always seem distracted And you said And now I'm over you, I'll be OK,
Was to run away and hide
But not this time, not this time
And the weakest thing I've ever done
Was to stay right by your side
Just like this time, and every time
I couldn't tell you I was happy when you were gone
So I lied and said that I missed you when we were apart
I couldn't tell you, so I had to lead you on
But I didn't mean to break your heart
Like my minds somewhere else
That's because it's true, yes it's true
it's this stupid pride that makes me feel
Like I have to follow through
Even half-assedly, loving you
Why must I always speak in terms of cowardice?
When I guess I should have just come out and told you right from the start
Why must I always tell you all I want is this?
I guess 'cause I didn't want to break your heart
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Curl up and die just because of you?
I'm not that weak, you know
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Try to make you love me as much as I love you?
How could you be so low?
You arrogant man,
What do you think that I am?
My heart will be fine
Just stop wasting my time
and that I've got what I want,
and that's rid of you
Bye
And it's not 'cause I'll be missing you
That makes me fall apart
It's just that I didn't mean to break
No I didn't mean to break
No I didn't mean to break
Your heart
As Will finishes the song she stands up and leaves crying. The kids look at him and shake their heads.
"Why?" Quinn asks
"What? I don't have the right to express my feelings on the subject?"
They go on with rehearsal and than leave for the night. Holly walks up to Will as he and Emma were leaving.
"I just wanted to say goodbye . . . even though you don't want me here" she says
"Holly it's not that I don't want you here"
"It's fine" she says than hugs him and leaves
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending