~ In the Prefects' Bathroom – Prologue ~

As far as Alfred was concerned, Arthur agonised way too long about when was the best time to do this.

"This" being sex in the prefects' bathroom, of course.

I mean, yeah, obviously the morning was a bad idea. Even he wasn't stupid enough to attempt it then. (He was horny enough, but he wasn't going to tell that to Arthur, because then the other would just mock him for being desperate.)

During a free period might not be so bad, but both of them had prefect duties that often took up some of that time, not to mention the fact that Arthur actually took the teachers seriously when they said that free periods were supposed to be used for studying.

Afternoons – another no-go. Too much of everyone being everywhere.

Evenings: that was the one that really got to Alfred. He didn't see why Arthur wouldn't let them risk it then. Any old evening would do. Students were all busy doing their homework, or at clubs, and much less likely to be wandering aimlessly around the corridors. And besides, it's not like there were that many prefects in the school, all clamouring to use the bathroom at the same time. As long as Alfred casually let slip that he was heading over there, nobody would bother him; and it's not like Arthur had such a busy social life that everyone would be wondering where he had disappeared to for a few hours.

But for some reason Arthur didn't want to just give it a shot. He wanted to be sure that no one would see either of them, or suspect anything.

Weekends: unlikely. Again, Alfred was happy to risk it any time, but Arthur seemed to have worked out a mathematical formula to predict just how many students and staff (and possibly even house elves and ghosts) would see them go into the bathroom at the same time.

"Then when, Artie? Come on, you're killing me here! You can't suggest something like this and then find all these reasons not to do it!"

Arthur just gave him a thick, raised eyebrow. "You sound a little desperate."

Fuck Arthur and his insane ability to hide his libido! Alfred knew for a fact that it was just as, if not more, rampant than his own! He only pretended to be all cool just to drive Alfred crazy.

The Gryffindor huffed and grabbed the other boy's knees where he sat cross-legged opposite him on the roof. "Look. I'm a teenager, I'm a guy, I'm in a secret relationship, and my boyfriend is the sexiest fucking thing on the whole damn planet. Can't you just give me a break when I get a little hot?"

Arthur turned his head to the side, but Alfred knew it was to hide the half of his mouth which twitched up into a crooked smile. The way his eyes crinkled and sparkled gave it all away.

"I suppose," Arthur said, trying to sound generous rather than amused. "But look, I've thought a lot about it and – "

"So have I."

"And I've come to the conclusion that the only time we can possibly think about doing it is at night."

Alfred sat back in surprise. "A-at night? Like 'when we're supposed to be in bed' night?" He didn't understand why Arthur – Arthur freaking Kirkland – was suggesting something so outrageously against the rules…that is, until he caught the full-fledged smirk that Arthur couldn't keep off his face any longer.

And then he remembered that important little thing he had learnt about the Slytherin teen during the course of their relationship – something which he easily forgot because Arthur hid it so well.

It had taken Alfred no longer than two days with his new boyfriend before he realised something about the other boy: the reason that Arthur Kirkland loved to follow the rules so much was because it made him even more turned on when he broke them.

"So at night? When it's wrong," Alfred continued, an unusually cunning grin stretching over his dazzling white teeth. "When it's against the rules." His voice dropped lower in volume and tone. "When we'd get in so much trouble if we were caught. When everyone would know exactly what the two of us were doing alone together in the bathroom."

Arthur practically purred, but managed to catch himself before the sound got too loud. Alfred knew just what was going on, though, from the way Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath, head falling back slightly, weighed down with the images that Alfred was giving him.

"I suppose we'll just have to risk it," he said, regaining control of his voice again. "I'm only doing this for you, you know. Since you're so sick of doing it on the roof."

"Yeah, well, not that I don't love it up here, but it's getting to the point where I can't even look up here without thinking about sex. You've got me conditioned! And this used to be my nice, calm place! Roofs shouldn't do that to a guy."

"Well, that's your fault for being a pervert," Arthur pretended to snap. But the devious sidelong look he gave the Gryffindor boy said something entirely different. Namely: 'Ha ha. Now I'm going to purposefully make you horny by saying the word pervert in my sexy British accent. You're too easy!'

Alfred grinned, leaning forwards and catching Arthur's lips in a kiss – honestly catching him, because Arthur wasn't getting away until Alfred said so now.

"It's all you, babe. All you."

~~~ Later ~~~

It was only a few hours later when Arthur cornered Alfred in a secret passage after dinner.

"Dude, what?" the American demanded, rubbing at his sore neck from where the Slytherin had yanked him in to the passageway by the collar.

"Tonight. 9 o' clock."

"T-tonight?" Alfred squeaked in surprise. Days of Arthur 'umming' and 'aahing' about this little escapade and now all of a sudden it's today?

"You have Quidditch training tonight, don't you?" Arthur asked, standing a little too close to him, and breathing just a little heavily. "Just stay outside a bit longer and practice by yourself. Make sure to work hard and get good and sweaty, so people won't be too suspicious if you take a nice, long bath." The word 'long' was drawn out as Arthur ran his hands up over Alfred's broad chest. Then he pulled him down into a very long, heated and sloppy kiss. The Slytherin prefect had obviously been thinking about this.

Finally, he let the taller blonde go. Alfred's head reeled, and he leant back against the wall in a daze, legs feeling like jelly.

Arthur coughed, a habit of his when trying to regain control of himself after some emotional outburst.

"So. 9 o' clock. I'll bring snacks since you'll be hungry after practice." He turned to leave, one hand already on the tapestry hiding their secret corridor.

But then he seemed to think better of it, obviously not satisfied with his teasing. He turned back, pressed himself up against Alfred's strong arm, brought his mouth close to the tall blonde's ear and whispered hotly: "I'll be waiting." And then he was gone.

Alfred blinked, and let his head fall back against the wall of the quiet corridor as he tried to get control of his breath, and will the flush off his face.

Arthur, in the bathroom, waiting for him, with food. God, there was a thought.

One that Alfred was sure would keep him thoroughly distracted all through Quidditch practice…

A/N:

I know I promised that the last chapter would be lemon. And it will be (when I get round to finishing it).

However, due to ffnet suddenly enforcing their forgotten rules about smut, I am not comfortable posting the final chapter of this AU on here. So this is as far as I will post on ffnet for this story.

If you want the full final chapter, with the bathroom smut, then you'll have to follow my tumblr account at justa-fangirl .tumblr .com or my Livejournal at just_a_fangirl .livejournal .com

The final chapter is not actually finished, and won't be out any time soon. So it's not on my other websites yet. I just wanted to post this prologue on ffnet for now to explain the situation: that the smut will no longer be posted on ffnet because of them going crazy, but it WILL be posted somewhere else at a later date.

Sorry for the inconvenience.